Guinness DRAUGHT KLONE

*I posted this after a few beers last night, I was laughing, but obviously some people are offended if you question GUINNESS in any form, I assumed that this some new recipe or nitrogen infusing gimmick, read it with a grain of salt....and my apologies to ANYONE WHO IS STILL OFFENDED!*

5.5 Gallons

5 gallons whole milk
1 oz black patent
1 oz roasted
1 oz triple antibiotic ointment
1 oz butt creme

NO HOPS

Ingest all the ingredients, barf them all back up into your bottling bucket.


JE-sus, who invented this crap? Is it really beer?

SWMBO bought a sixer. It will be here until we make stew again........next year sometime.

???

If you don't like Guinness, not only are you not a man, but the jury is out on whether or not you're human.

OK deuchey, have you tried the crap in the bottle labeled "draught"?

I am OK with real guinness on tap, but this crap sucks.


I also don't like coors, does that offend you?

Just ignore, maybe it will go away.

cheezydemon3 said:

OK deuchy

Click to expand...

A troll is a member of a race of fearsome creatures from Norse mythology.

OK, obviously my sense of humor does not translate here.

Also, it is possible I got a bad sixer.

To be specific......

These 12 oz bottles have a slick plastic label covering most of the bottle.
They are almost all black but with a little brown and say "draught".

I have had Guinness before that tasted OK. On tap, from the can, whatever.

This stuff had almost no flavor.

Scalded milk if anything.

The cascading foam was gorgeous thanks to the widget, but it was GROSS.


My BMC and guinness swilling SWMBO didn't even like it.

I assumed this stuff was new?

(or at least some new life support device...I mean widget or whatever TF)

cheezydemon3 said:

OK, obviously my sense of humor does not translate here.

Also, it is possible I got a bad sixer.

To be specific......

These 12 oz bottles have a slick plastic label covering most of the bottle.
They are almost all black but with a little brown and say "draught".

I have had Guinness before that tasted OK. On tap, from the can, whatever.

This stuff had almost no flavor.

Scalded milk if anything.

The cascading foam was gorgeous thanks to the widget, but it was GROSS.


My BMC and guinness swilling SWMBO didn't even like it.

I assumed this stuff was new?

(or at least some new life support device...I mean widget or whatever TF)

Click to expand...

No offense was taken, (hope you didn't take offense to my "you're not human post", it was too in jest)...

For your info, you can buy Guinness in a few forms:

1. at a bar, this is "draft" Guinness, as many Americans call it, as it's "on tap". Note that the correct spelling of "draft" is "DRAUGHT". Draught is pronounced "draft", (don't ask)
2. in a 15.? oz can, the can is labeled "Guinness Draught", which means "draft", which is just Guinness with a nitrogen widget.
3. in an 11.2 oz bottle, also labeled Guinness Draught - this Draught is EXACTLY the same as the can, but I feel the torpedo widget doesn't make it taste as good as the ball widget in the can
4. in a bottle, labeled Guinness Extra Stout - this is a variation of Guinness that is carbonated, (not beer gassed with nitrogen), and is "stoutier", (tastes like a lot more black and roasted to me...)
5. in a bottle, labeled Guinness Centennial Stout or something -- this is their celebratory beer. It was limited release to celebrate some anniversary or something.....I found it got better with age, but it wasn't great...also CO2 carbonated, (no N2)

shorty

I hadn't tasted one in a while, and I am not impressed that their beers require "widgets" where other beers don't.
(I liken it to corona, which uses a lime as it's corrective assistant, and which tastes horrible without it's crutch)

The cascading foam was their goal I fear. It worked, but left the beer tasting so foamy and creamy, it was horrible.

I let one sit for an hour and then tasted it.

Much improved, but still no where near deserving the global hype and catchy ad campaign.

It made bad stew too!

That was the clincher for me.

Guinness stew is something we make twice a year or so, and it never fails.

This time it too was a dud.

thanks for taking the time to discuss it!

cheezydemon3 said:

shorty

I hadn't tasted one in a while, and I am not impressed that their beers require "widgets" where other beers don't.
(I liken it to corona, which uses a lime as it's corrective assistant, and which tastes horrible without it's crutch)

The cascading foam was their goal I fear. It worked, but left the beer tasting so foamy and creamy, it was horrible.

Click to expand...

The idea behind the widget is to hit the beer with enough agitation to create the head, yes....it works the same as a restrictor plate in a stout faucet, so really, it's not a crutch, it's just a different way to get the same result. In a stout faucet, a restrictor plate causes CO2 to foam out and make the head. In a can, the widget contains beer under pressure that foams out to make the head, (through the small hole in the widget). It's the same mechanism, for the same result....it's just an ingenious way of getting the same pub pour of Guinness that you'd get at a bar, (I find it really brilliant!!).

To me, the foamy/creamy texture of Guinness is awesome. I love starting in on a pint as soon as I get it, so I get some creamy Guinness, and some flatter Guinness, (after the bubbles settle out). Of course, I've had this with every can/pub pour I've had, so I don't consider it out of the ordinary.

Either the other pours of Guinness you've gotten have been flat, so you got accustomed to that, or this sixer was just bad, as you say. If you really don't like em, feel free to send em to me!!!!

I got the joke. I love Guinness and if you don't good for you. It is only one of many beers, I am sure you love a beer that I would not stand.

I thought this very funny, and my buddy who agrees with you said you were right on the money(but he would add .10 oz of hops)

Thanks Jmg and shorty.

To all others, please, it was all in good fun!

I will try it again soon in a local pub and compare.

I love Guinness. NONE of my friends like it at all. Most say it's coffee mixed with motor oil. That's okay. I don't care for Sam Adams Boston Lager out of the bottle (tap is okay), and they drink that. More black Irish love for me.


...so to speak.

Just remember when pouring a Guiness is you fill the pint up 2/3 and let the cream settle and once settled you pour fill to the top of your glass. Let it settle once more (tell a good story of the last time you drank Guiness and ended up doing something funny, stupid, embarrassing, or just illegal). By the time your tale is told you can punctuate with a nice draw of your now ready Guiness.

The bottles have to be poured the same way as if on tap.. Guiness is something that, like craft brews, is a brew that not all likes; but the ones who do LOVE it. The joke I knew as a bartender was any person who asks for a pint of Guiness you can sure they have a little Irish in them in blood or spirit. And if you give them to many pints than you can insure a curse or a fist would be thrown.

cheezydemon3 said:

*I posted this after a few beers last night, I was laughing, but obviously some people are offended if you question GUINNESS in any form, I assumed that this some new recipe or nitrogen infusing gimmick, read it with a grain of salt....and my apologies to ANYONE WHO IS STILL OFFENDED!*

5.5 Gallons

5 gallons whole milk
1 oz black patent
1 oz roasted
1 oz triple antibiotic ointment
1 oz butt creme

NO HOPS

Ingest all the ingredients, barf them all back up into your bottling bucket.


JE-sus, who invented this crap? Is it really beer?

SWMBO bought a sixer. It will be here until we make stew again........next year sometime.

Click to expand...

Okay, I love Guinness but this was actually pretty funny.

Thanks meaty!