Rage infected. They're legit.
Funny things you've overheard about beer
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Rage infected. They're legit.
Canadian pigs infected with the werepig virus. it started in the mid 1800's when an Inuit Shaman cursed a French Trapper. no one talks about it, but it was Trapper John, M.D.
Must be tough gettin the hair off those werepigs...?
So I'm sitting at a bar in a casino drinking a scotch and group of 4 grabs a table behind me.
Guy 1: So I just got back from vacation.
Girl 1: Where'd you go?
Guy 1: California
Guy 2: How was it?
Guy 1: Well, I went to this bar and I sat down to have a beer. The waitress came over and I asked her for a Busch Light. She said they didn't have no Busch Light. So I said what have you got. She said we only sell beer from this brewery. I'd never heard of the brewery so I said ok, giving the best beer they got. Now she came back with some beer named Arrogant Bastard. Now it didn't look like beer. It looked like coffee and smelled terrible. I don't know what the hell they put it in but whatever it was it doesn't belong in beer.
Guy 2: What did it taste like?
Guy 1: Worst thing I ever tasted in my life. It was so thick I couldn't even swallow it. I told the waitress they must have a bad batch or something and I refused to drink it. I didn't even pay. I left and went to Applebee's. At least they had Bud Light.
Waitress: What can I get you guys to drink?
Guy 1 gets a Busch Light and the other 3 get Bud Light. When the waitress comes back he takes a big drink of his Busch Light and says "now that's beer."
Guy 1: So I just got back from vacation.
Girl 1: Where'd you go?
Guy 1: California
Guy 2: How was it?
Guy 1: Well, I went to this bar and I sat down to have a beer. The waitress came over and I asked her for a Busch Light. She said they didn't have no Busch Light. So I said what have you got. She said we only sell beer from this brewery. I'd never heard of the brewery so I said ok, giving the best beer they got. Now she came back with some beer named Arrogant Bastard. Now it didn't look like beer. It looked like coffee and smelled terrible. I don't know what the hell they put it in but whatever it was it doesn't belong in beer.
Guy 2: What did it taste like?
Guy 1: Worst thing I ever tasted in my life. It was so thick I couldn't even swallow it. I told the waitress they must have a bad batch or something and I refused to drink it. I didn't even pay. I left and went to Applebee's. At least they had Bud Light.
Waitress: What can I get you guys to drink?
Guy 1 gets a Busch Light and the other 3 get Bud Light. When the waitress comes back he takes a big drink of his Busch Light and says "now that's beer."
remandsager
Well-Known Member
From Stone Brewing's website:
Arrogant Bastard Ale
This is an aggressive ale. You probably wont like it. It is quite doubtful that you have the taste or sophistication to be able to appreciate an ale of this quality and depth. We would suggest that you stick to safer and more familiar territorymaybe something with a multi-million dollar ad campaign aimed at convincing you its made in a little brewery, or one that implies that their tasteless fizzy yellow beverage will give you more sex appeal. Perhaps you think multi-million dollar ad campaigns make things taste better. Perhaps youre mouthing your words as you read this.
At Stone Brewing, we believe that pandering to the lowest common denominator represents the height of tyranny - a virtual form of keeping the consumer barefoot and stupid. Brought forth upon an unsuspecting public in 1997, Arrogant Bastard Ale openly challenged the tyrannical overlords who were brazenly attempting to keep Americans chained in the shackles of poor taste. As the progenitor of its style, Arrogant Bastard Ale has reveled in its unprecedented and uncompromising celebration of intensity. There have been many nods to Arrogant Bastard Ale even outright attempts to copy it but only one can ever embody the true nature of liquid Arrogance!
This is an aggressive ale. You probably wont like it. It is quite doubtful that you have the taste or sophistication to be able to appreciate an ale of this quality and depth. We would suggest that you stick to safer and more familiar territorymaybe something with a multi-million dollar ad campaign aimed at convincing you its made in a little brewery, or one that implies that their tasteless fizzy yellow beverage will give you more sex appeal. Perhaps you think multi-million dollar ad campaigns make things taste better. Perhaps youre mouthing your words as you read this.
At Stone Brewing, we believe that pandering to the lowest common denominator represents the height of tyranny - a virtual form of keeping the consumer barefoot and stupid. Brought forth upon an unsuspecting public in 1997, Arrogant Bastard Ale openly challenged the tyrannical overlords who were brazenly attempting to keep Americans chained in the shackles of poor taste. As the progenitor of its style, Arrogant Bastard Ale has reveled in its unprecedented and uncompromising celebration of intensity. There have been many nods to Arrogant Bastard Ale even outright attempts to copy it but only one can ever embody the true nature of liquid Arrogance!
Guess Stone's is right - you probably won't like it...
But I do! 
From Stone Brewing's website:
Arrogant Bastard Ale
This is an aggressive ale. You probably won’t like it.
Guess Stone's is right - you probably won't like it...
Me too! I brewed up a clone and can't wait for it to finish fermenting! The wait is a real killer!
I have a friend who's been brewing Mr Beer kits that drove 3 1/2 hrs to come check out what I've been brewing (extract recipes I make). He obviously didn't feel right drinking up my beer so he wanted to go to the store.
While arguing about what we ought to drink he mentioned how terrible Arrogant Bastard was. I told him, "You're kidding right? Man that's good stuff right there!" He was certain I was wrong and bought it for me to "try."
Mmmmm! Thanks bro! He couldn't believe I liked that stuff.
I probably shouldn't have drank it as we had drank several of my beers (5-6.5%) and the 7.2% put a stomping on me the next day!
While arguing about what we ought to drink he mentioned how terrible Arrogant Bastard was. I told him, "You're kidding right? Man that's good stuff right there!" He was certain I was wrong and bought it for me to "try."
Mmmmm! Thanks bro! He couldn't believe I liked that stuff.
I probably shouldn't have drank it as we had drank several of my beers (5-6.5%) and the 7.2% put a stomping on me the next day!
Quite a bit of smug.
Skeptidelphian
Well-Known Member
logan3825 said:
There is a difference between someone who is ignorant of beer simply because they have not been exposes, and someone who thinks they are the "beer guy" yet is woefully misinformed.
I used to be the former, I never turned down a beer and remember my first non-macro, Julius Echter Hefeweizen. Since then I've become a beer encyclopedia. I'm always willing to teach beer and the craft of brewing to anyone.
The latter tend to be hopeless. Guys who tell you that Guinness is a meal in a glass. Or think that because they drink regular Budweiser they're king beer. They don't want to hear it.
highgravitybacon
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No kidding. If you want a Real beer, get a Gennesse Cream Ale. Now that's a beer. The fizzy piss BMC people don't know what they're missing. Personally, when I want a meal in a can, I drink some tomato soup and save my spoon for using with some Camo.
Hello can any one help me, it's my first home brew and I've went for lager beer, how long should it ferment for? And would it make much difference to the flavour if I didn't rinse the steriliser solution off my equipment properly or could this do me damage? If possible could you rite me a guide step by step what to do as I'm confused off reading so much off the net, how long will it take to ferment, do I bottle str8 after and leave? Is so how long or do I leave in barrel for a week? Thanks
In the unlikely event that you are serious and not trolling (since you posted the same exact message in two places), this is not the appropriate place for your questions and I apologize for any perceived rudeness on my part. Please read the stickies in the beginner's section and then create a new thread if you have any unanswered questions.
You are in the wrong thread here for this question. Would suggest that you start a new thread in the beginner's corner.
KuntzBrewing
Well-Known Member
When someone claims to pick hops or malts out of a BMC light beer, I assume they are bull sh!tters. They would have to be as good as a sharks sense of smell to detect that. And sharks can detect a drop of blood a mile away....
jlb307
Well-Known Member
"why can't you make something good....like coors light."
craigger64
Well-Known Member
Upon learning that I brew at home: "Oh, is it cheaper that way?"
My response: "Brewing your own to save money on beer is like buying a boat to save money on fish"
My response: "Brewing your own to save money on beer is like buying a boat to save money on fish"
Now now, you know that's not true. Considering I would spend $50 at Total Wine & more and only come home with maybe 18-20 12oz bottles I'd say I do save a fair ammount of money, unless you factor in the time & labor. 
GrogNerd
mean old man
maybe troll
maybe stupid
but, as a n00b myself, I've probably asked these very same questions in the Beginners' threads.
they're read, not overheard, but they are definitely funny things said about beer; how does this NOT fit THIS thread?
Well that is pretty arrogant
My question is why would the waitress give him IIPA after he askec for a busch lite?
Ostomo517
Well-Known Member
Spite lol
this. :rockin:
nmfree
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If it ain't broke, you're not trying hard enough. -Red Green
...you can't give the one quote without the other.
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Holy scaly-manfish... best analogy EVAR! MOAR PLAEZ!
highgravitybacon
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I like to plink at the gun range. Picked up a little 380 and thought it would be cheaper to reload. Bought brass, powder, primers, a press, scale, dies, etc.. yeah it saved me a ton of money per round. At least half the cost.
With commercial ammo, I'd shoot 50 rounds a month. With my cheaper reloads, I was shooting 200. So much for it being cheaper.
I tried to rationalize homebrewing to myself with the cost argument. You'd think I learned something. Fail. Now I just drink more beer.
I think that my stomach would fill up with fluid long before I could ever get drunk on Guinness. Now the Imperial Russian Stout from Stone that I am about to crack open is a different story...
........Nope can't find anything wrong with that. More beer = good
EDIT: More shooting = good too, jut not in combination with the first part....
Skeptidelphian
Well-Known Member
Was listening to Kevin Smith's Smodcast - he was making a joke, but the premise was the Guinness was so thick a straw would stand up straight in it. He's a pothead not a beer drinker, but it made me mad all the same!
Some people are beer drinkers and potheads...
OnTheStrangeBrew
Member
I have over heard many people at the bar I work at say "Lagers are distilled differently..thats what gives them that taste." I tried educating people but I always got the feeling they would rather be wrong with thier own opinion than be right with my opinion.Fermenting is yeast consuming sugar..distilling is the concentrating of yeast consumed beverage being heated. Blank stare..would go right over thier head..I mean it would sail over the crossbar. Ha
Have you got that right though. Distilling would be the evaporating, condensing and collection of the ethanol; not the concentrating of the initial liquor. But I guess if they struggle with your explaination their heads might explode with the actual methodology of distilling
LTownLiquorPig
Well-Known Member
Not true. In the past I've been able to get as many as 20 in me. I was awfully "dry" the next morning though.
Rolling Rock is about the funniest thing I've ever heard about beer. Growing up it always looked pretty cool, cool packaging/logo, seemed to be used in movies a lot. Got to try it about a year ago, still wondering why they bothered....
MotorcycleMatt
Well-Known Member
Yea i can get a lot of guinness in to me too. Nice thing is i havnt ever woken up with a hangover from drinking guinness.
Ogri
Well-Known Member
Probably get flamed here but,
it seems entirely plausible to me that a straw could be held standing straight, for a reasonable amount of time, in a well poured pint of Guinness. The head on a freshly poured pint should be dense enough to be well capable of that.
Even if it isn't really high in alcohol content and/or syrupy.
but then again, maybe I'm just taking sides with the pothead:fro:
