Pouring like a Noobie?....Riiiiiiight.

CornyKegs 728
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I worked as a bartender in a real ale pub in Scotland for a few years and had the opposite problem as the OP. Two Australian tourists ordered a couple of cask beers to try real authentic Scots beer. I served them up (and yes, there is usually a small head of about 1/2" on a properly poured cask ale) and about five minutes later one of the two girls came back with a startled look on her face and exclaimed "Your beer is flat!"

I paused for a minute incredulously and then it dawned on me. "Oh, you're from Australia. That's just how beer here is." I gave one of them a half-pint of Organic Scottish Lager on the house and everyone was pleased as punch.
 
homeslice said:
So I had a few buddies over the other day to try out a new IPA. Along with them was a straggler friend of theirs, let's call him Bill. I start pouring everyone my IPA in Draft Glasses with a nice thick foam top. While me and my buddies eyeball the nice carbos, Bill yells out with an excruciating screech "You pour like noobie!!!" and laughs. Not only did I grab my beer out of his hand but I kicked him out. My friend went on to tell me he's a "Budwiser." I sympathized and let him back in w/o a beer. Some folks just aren't worthy. Anyone else experience the pain of the Flat Glass specialist?
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I'm guessing you made this all up, or you are a total *********. I'm sure I'm right on at least one count.
 
Damn that is harsh.

However, I have been accused of being a jerk (on here;)) due to my beer snobbery, but you take the cake my friend.
 
HalfPint said:
I agree with all of the others that are knocking on you HomeSlice. I personally have a friend that calls all of my brews "stout" whether its a stout or not. I simply explain to him that a stout is a particular grain/yeast combination and not necessarily a way to describe the flavor of a beer.
j
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On this tip, I almost wrote to a reporter about his story in the Seattle Times where he stated that "dark beer is often stronger than its fairer counterpart."
 
I went out out one night and the bartender started the usual routine of pouring beer in the glass, dumping out foam, pouring beer in the glass, dumping out foam, etc, trying to get the glass filled to the rim. I wanted to tell her that she didn't have to do that for me, but it came out as "Ya know, I really don't mind if you give me some head. I mean... wait... uhhhh."

Eventually I explained what I meant. But it's just annoying how people have so many bartenders trained to pour beer like that. Dump out 20oz of beer just to try to get the glass filled to the top with no foam. The clueless train the bartenders to pour that way and the bartenders then train new beer drinkers that's how they should expect it.

*shakes head*
 
ChshreCat said:
I went out out one night and the bartender started the usual routine of pouring beer in the glass, dumping out foam, pouring beer in the glass, dumping out foam, etc, trying to get the glass filled to the rim. I wanted to tell her that she didn't have to do that for me, but it came out as "Ya know, I really don't mind if you give me some head. I mean... wait... uhhhh."

Eventually I explained what I meant. But it's just annoying how people have so many bartenders trained to pour beer like that. Dump out 20oz of beer just to try to get the glass filled to the top with no foam. The clueless train the bartenders to pour that way and the bartenders then train new beer drinkers that's how they should expect it.

*shakes head*
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It's just a vicious cycle... :(
 
ChshreCat said:
I went out out one night and the bartender started the usual routine of pouring beer in the glass, dumping out foam, pouring beer in the glass, dumping out foam, etc, trying to get the glass filled to the rim. I wanted to tell her that she didn't have to do that for me, but it came out as "Ya know, I really don't mind if you give me some head. I mean... wait... uhhhh."

Eventually I explained what I meant. But it's just annoying how people have so many bartenders trained to pour beer like that. Dump out 20oz of beer just to try to get the glass filled to the top with no foam. The clueless train the bartenders to pour that way and the bartenders then train new beer drinkers that's how they should expect it.

*shakes head*
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A few comments:
Only an idiot would train someone to do that.
If the lines are dirty or the temperature wrong, or its the first pull of the day, the foam can be excessive.
Many people, like myself, see no point in the head of a beer (see what I did there) and many will ***** if it is too much.
 
ChshreCat said:
I went out out one night and the bartender started the usual routine of pouring beer in the glass, dumping out foam, pouring beer in the glass, dumping out foam, etc, trying to get the glass filled to the rim. I wanted to tell her that she didn't have to do that for me, but it came out as "Ya know, I really don't mind if you give me some head. I mean... wait... uhhhh."

Eventually I explained what I meant. But it's just annoying how people have so many bartenders trained to pour beer like that. Dump out 20oz of beer just to try to get the glass filled to the top with no foam. The clueless train the bartenders to pour that way and the bartenders then train new beer drinkers that's how they should expect it.

*shakes head*
Click to expand...

I dunno, I'd rather have the beer than the foam. In many places the glasses are already woefully under a pint, and with a nice foamy head you could easily end up with effectively 10-12oz of beer. If I want a foamy head, I can always swirl one up.
 
Obviously, in a proper pub, the glass would be big enough to plan for the appropriate head and a decent sized pint.
 
HSM said:
I'm guessing you made this all up, or you are a total *********. I'm sure I'm right on at least one count.
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So the folks that agree or understand the scenario enough to comment with their reactions are *****ebags as well huh? Your comment is as dull as your avatar pic.
 
I've encountered this on more than one occasion. One guy told me that I pour an "angry beer" because there was too much head. I was mad at first but I usually just let stuff like that go. Later on he ended up showing me some cool tricks so I forgave him :mug:

As for the noobie comment, I had somebody actually say lol once. I've never heard that in an offline conversation... :confused:
 
Teromous said:
As for the noobie comment, I had somebody actually say lol once. I've never heard that in an offline conversation... :confused:
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Seriously? they said LOL out loud? That's grounds for an instant retaliatory head slap and a "don't be a tard" reprimand.

I jumped my 9 year old's case for using that crap on his Facebook the other day.
 
The head issue is kind of a catch 22 in the typical American bar. Only thing we get is BMC and Sams here. If I'm drinking BMC, it's because my main goal is to get drunk. Fill that crap to the rim with no head please. I want more beer for my money. I don't want a foamy head so I can smell the lack of aroma, I already know it's not there. Even with a nice craft brew, if it is filled to the top, oh well, drink the extra ounce and enjoy just the flavor. Then swirl up your own head. It's not difficult.
 
ObDisclaimer: I'm an arsehole. I don't care if I offend people. I won't lie to protect someone's feelings.
But I would never insult my host in his own home/establishment. I guess I'm a polite arsehole.

Now, if someone walked into my home and did that, I'd challenge him to a duel. "You insult me, sir. Paintballs at dawn on the field of honor!"

Man, I think we need to bring back the duel.
 
skadalajara said:
ObDisclaimer: I'm an arsehole. I don't care if I offend people. I won't lie to protect someone's feelings.
But I would never insult my host in his own home/establishment. I guess I'm a polite arsehole.

Now, if someone walked into my home and did that, I'd challenge him to a duel. "You insult me, sir. Paintballs at dawn on the field of honor!"

Man, I think we need to bring back the duel.
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What's this painting of balls I read about? :cross:
If that's what you do when you're mad, what do you do when you're really angry?
 
skadalajara said:
ObDisclaimer: I'm an arsehole. I don't care if I offend people. I won't lie to protect someone's feelings.
But I would never insult my host in his own home/establishment. I guess I'm a polite arsehole.

Now, if someone walked into my home and did that, I'd challenge him to a duel. "You insult me, sir. Paintballs at dawn on the field of honor!"

Man, I think we need to bring back the duel.
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You're not the only one.

 
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I think a good bartender will pour a beer with as little head as possible. If a person wants head, they can get it on their own. Most of the bars I go to, they will serve head on beers that should have head (Guinness) and no head on beers that should not have head (BMC).

If you are pouring your own home-made brew in your own house, serve the beer however the F&$# you want to, and if someone has a problem with it, swiftly replace their foam-headed glass with a can of Natural Light before their lips have a chance to destroy the purity of your beer. If someone had a problem with how I served my own home-brews, I'd have a hard time not kicking them out.

However, If I was at someone else's house and was given a home-brew with such a thick head that I had to take two gulps of pure foam before I could get to the beer, I'd have a hard time not laughing at their failed attempt to properly serve a beer.

Edit: P.S. I'd rather drink a Natural Light than a glass of home-made foam.
 
Sorry I'll take the good tasting home-made foam any day of the week over Natty. That is just gross man. :( :mug:
 
homeslice said:
Teach what? Manners? That's for parents to teach. Eat your words. I didn't have to as my buddies were quick to inform the boy.
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It's also for parents to teach their kids not to be dicks. And yours apparently failed miserably. I agree, you were the ****** here.
 
Bernie Brewer said:
It's also for parents to teach their kids not to be dicks. And yours apparently failed miserably. I agree, you were the ****** here.
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Well so sad I failed you Barney. Perhaps if you read the whole thread you would have noticed this,

Homeslice said:
Full Details: In response to the Magoo comment, I gave my buddies the one-sided raised eyebrow ("Who the f@ck is this wahoo?") and they responded by kicking him out. I went on to invite him back in.
BONUS: He was wearing one of those t-shirts folks at the Mac Store wear.
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And to think that people like you vote,
You wouldn't happen to be wearing a Mac tshirt would you???
 
homeslice said:
So the folks that agree or understand the scenario enough to comment with their reactions are *****ebags as well huh? Your comment is as dull as your avatar pic.
Click to expand...

Help me out here:

So I had a few buddies over the other day to try out a new IPA. Along with them was a straggler friend of theirs, let's call him Bill. I start pouring everyone my IPA in Draft Glasses with a nice thick foam top. While me and my buddies eyeball the nice carbos, Bill yells out with an excruciating screech "You pour like noobie!!!" and laughs. Not only did I grab my beer out of his hand but I kicked him out. My friend went on to tell me he's a "Budwiser." I sympathized and let him back in w/o a beer. Some folks just aren't worthy. Anyone else experience the pain of the Flat Glass specialist?
Click to expand...

is now

I gave my buddies the one-sided raised eyebrow ("Who the f@ck is this wahoo?") and they responded by kicking him out. I went on to invite him back in.
Click to expand...


So you grabbed his beer and kicked him out? No, wait, you didn't. LOL.

Jack Handy below (since you didn't know).
 
ChshreCat said:
I went out out one night and the bartender started the usual routine of pouring beer in the glass, dumping out foam, pouring beer in the glass, dumping out foam, etc, trying to get the glass filled to the rim. I wanted to tell her that she didn't have to do that for me, but it came out as "Ya know, I really don't mind if you give me some head. I mean... wait... uhhhh."

Eventually I explained what I meant. But it's just annoying how people have so many bartenders trained to pour beer like that. Dump out 20oz of beer just to try to get the glass filled to the top with no foam. The clueless train the bartenders to pour that way and the bartenders then train new beer drinkers that's how they should expect it.

*shakes head*
Click to expand...

If a bartender is dumping that much foam then the lines are warm and you probably don't want it or they just don't know how to draw a draft.

I'm usually more pissed when I'm given a glass/pitcher of foam where beer should be.
 

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