It really depends on what method you'll be using... If you're going to set up a mash tun/cooler, then a 30-32 quart pot will be plenty (32 being better if you want to do 90 minute boils)... If you want to do the BIAB method, then I'd get a pair of 32 quart, or a pair of 40 quart and then you'll be set for almost any [reasonable] 5 gallon batch...
I've found that I can easily mash 10-12 pounds of grain in my 32 quart pot, with the BIAB method... If I had a second the same size (or larger) then I could do even more grain... Luckily, I'll be getting a larger pot soon...
If your stove has issues heating 6+ gallons or wort, then get a propane burner. Or get one of the really high output electric burners (single units) to get that sucker cranking...
BTW, I've not seen any recipe kits that are for 3 gallon batches. All that I ever looked at (while doing extract brews) were to make 5 gallon batches (into the fermenter)...
You can ferment 5 gallons in a 5 gallon carboy, if you know what you're doing (blow-off tube during high fermentation activity, then airlock it)... The bucket fermenters, at 6.5 gallons, more than handle 5-5.5 gallon batches in them.