The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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Cooked a BBQ last weekend at the yacht club. 16 pork butts, 9 turkey breasts and a small (60 #) pig. Fed about 250 people with greens, corn bread, Atomic Buffalo Turds, beans and slaw. Huge success. If I can get all Trump-ish for a moment, it was "Tremendous."

Doing the same this weekend for the memorial birthday party of a friends son who died from an overdose a year ago. (Not telling tales out of school, her goal is to raise awareness of the opioid problem running rampant around us.).
Cooking for +/- 250-300 this Saturday. Anyone interested in spending tomorrow night being my ***** and helping out a good cause (and not kibitzing and telling what I'm doing wrong...Yes Cape, I mean you...) pm me. I'm too old for two Friday's in a row without any sleep.
 
Cooked a BBQ last weekend at the yacht club. 16 pork butts, 9 turkey breasts and a small (60 #) pig. Fed about 250 people with greens, corn bread, Atomic Buffalo Turds, beans and slaw. Huge success. If I can get all Trump-ish for a moment, it was "Tremendous."

Doing the same this weekend for the memorial birthday party of a friends son who died from an overdose a year ago. (Not telling tales out of school, her goal is to raise awareness of the opioid problem running rampant around us.).
Cooking for +/- 250-300 this Saturday. Anyone interested in spending tomorrow night being my ***** and helping out a good cause (and not kibitzing and telling what I'm doing wrong...Yes Cape, I mean you...) pm me. I'm too old for two Friday's in a row without any sleep.

I'll be right over...you can count on me.
 
If I was about 1000 miles closer, I'd come help. I love hard work and sweating and serving others. That's just the way I am.

Seriously, I would love to help. This whole being half way across the country does make it difficult, though.

No, on second thought, I'd rather help Melana at the Farmer's Market selling soap anyway.
 
dilemma.jpg


:D
 
Butts injected.

(Calm the f down, Yeager. I mean I shot them up withe a ton of marinade/brine and they're getting righteous.)

Pig injected.

(Calm the f down, Hoppy. I mean I shot the pig up with a ton of marinade/brine and it's getting righteous.)

Too bad you dicks didn't have the sense of a fly and will be eating Fenway Frank's tomorrow.

Oh, and Mort? GFY! I'd rather you overdosed, too. You and Cape together.
 
I laughed my ass off the whole drive out to Worcester to bring B2 home. Every other car was honking and giving me the thumbs up.

Why the eff not... It has been clearly demonstrated that any jerk off can put a substandard product up for sale and create a market. I wanna...

Two Bubba's Barbecue.
BBQ like your Momma would smoke.
If she weighed 250# and was named Bubba.View attachment ImageUploadedByHome Brew1467073394.629179.jpg
 
Looks totally ligit.

Where do you post your Board of Health certs?

I'm sure you have em. I mean, it would take one helluva galactic idiot to put his own phone number on something like that, advertising food service without the licensing all being squared away.
 
What's your catering insurance run you for that thing Paulie?

It's picture of sanitation so I'm sure it's dirt cheap. I'm guessing the insurance company basically said, "what?? You're just pulling around an old oil tank with zero other appropriate food prep equipment as required by law?? Bahhhhhhhh. Screw paying premiums... we'll insure that little side business for nothin!"
 
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