Dunkelweizen Mini-Mash (Please Help)

PREFACE: This is my first time doing this - just extract/steeping before now.

This is a AHS mini-mash kit which does come with very good directions. But, I have made one of those 5 gallon round Target cooler mash tun and things dont match up since my steps are a little different, I think. Their recipe uses a grain bag and water volumes don't match/have me confused.

0.5 lb Caramunich
1.25 lb Munich
0.25 lb Special B
0.125 lb Chocolate Malt
0.25 lb Caramel Wheat
1.25 lb German Pilsner
Total 3.625 lbs Grain

OK @ 1.375 qts/lb mash water would be 1.25 gal 170F (pre-heat cooler boiling water). Add grains, put lid on. Recipe says 155F for 45 min.
Q: Do I stir? How often during the 45 minutes?

Collect first runnings and pour back over grains until wort clears.
Q: How do you pour carefully to not disturb the grain bed? The 5 gallon cooler is kind of deep and I would have to pour from height. Or is it fine to just pour slowly and not worry about it.

The next step is where I am most confused.
Q: How much sparge water? How do you calculate? Do I just guess until I get my small system dialed in. I want about 3.5 gallons wort (or more since it calls for a 60 minute boil - but how much more?). I dont have a way to quickly cool much more than about 3.5 gallons for now (no chillers, etc.). How hot should the sparge water be? Do I stir during the sparge? Do I let it sit for a period of time?

Sorry for all the questions. I am on a new learning curve. Thanks.

1. Stir the mash when you add the water to be certain everything is wet & at the same temp. No further stirring needed.
2. Put an inverted plate on top of the grain bed. Pour onto the plate.
3. Assuming you are batch sparging: 2 gal. @ 170F, stir, let sit for ten min. stir, recirculate until clear. Drain. Check how much wort you have, total. 2nd sparge: enough water to bring the total up to 4 gal.

I've actually done well following their directions: 2.5 gallons for the mash, no sparging. But, sparging works even better.