Funny things you've overheard about beer
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n240sxguy
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Exactly! Who else would drill a hole in the cap of a $15 thermos to spin a beer in ice. God forbid you plan ahead and put some beer in the fridge.
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MarshmallowBlue
Well-Known Member
Depends on your perspective. Brewers are like ADD afflicted 5 year olds on crack compared to those that make wine, mead, whiskey, and the like.
hunter_le five
Sheriff Underscore
Couldn't be more true. I've always wanted to delve into wine/mead making, but looking at the turnaround times, I get turned off of the idea. I don't even like making high-gravity beers for that reason, which is a shame because I like drinking them. I'm reluctant to make lagers as well. The Bock that I kegged a month ago is taunting me right now.
I'm very thirsty, all the time, so I tend to only brew things that I can drink soon.
Well, actually . . .
crack generally makes people with ADD/ADHD calmer and more able to focus . . . 
:rockin:MarshmallowBlue
Well-Known Member
Can't we be both? I make beer while my 5 Carboys of mead (2 being lambic meads) are aging
Well, actually . . .
Just how many 5 years olds with AD(H)D are you feeding crack to? You people and your "well, actually"s.
Can't we be both? I make beer while my 5 Carboys of mead (2 being lambic meads) are aging
Of course you can. It helps, as the beer process is appreciated for something that doesn't take nearly as long.
Just how many 5 years olds with AD(H)D are you feeding crack to? You people and your "well, actually"s.
Shhhhh, you don't want me wasting good homebrew trying to keep 'em calm now, do you?!
Idk...I thought making wine was easier compared to brewing beer,having done both. I just didn't like the waiting at least a year to taste the fruits of my labors. Wine has to be fermented. Beer must first be constructed.
Shhhhh, you don't want me wasting good homebrew trying to keep 'em calm now, do you?!
You have a point.
I imagine once one gets into growing and processing grapes, which is still common for wineries to do, that might change some. Still, my point about patience had to do strictly with the element of time.
cpl-america
Well-Known Member
Just like a beer pipe line. Get her going, make a new batch every month, keep it full, after the first one you don't really wait anymore. Gotta make the lady happy.
pumpkinman2012
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There is actually much more to wine making than fermenting it, if you are making a "Paint by number" kits then you are 100% correct, however, if you are making a red wine from grapes you must start by deciding that you want to make, Then:
Choose the vineyard,
Source the grapes,
Crush and destem,
Stabilize to stop the wild yeasts,
Add the pectinase and enzymes,
At this point you test the PH, SO2 and TA, and adjust pre-ferment,
Cold soak (optional) for 5-7 days while trying to maintain temps in the 45° range,
Select the yeast to bring out the characteristics that you desire in the wine,
As with home brewing, you must control the fermentation temps to get the healthiest fermentation possible, low fermentation temps can result in loss of color in reds, Feed the yeast nutrients, punch down the cap several times a day.
When fermentation is complete:
Remove and press the grapes, after 24 hrs rack off the gross lees, if you are making a red,
Start Malolactic Fermentation (select the best MLB for your wine) to convert the harsh malic acids into smoother lactic acids.
When MLF is complete, this could take months, rack and stabilize the wine
Bulk age - during this time, you should test the sulfite levels and adjust as needed.
After several months of dropping sediment, I rack to an oak barrel where it will age for 6 months min, during this time it is very important to test the so2 levels.
While the wine is aging, I go crazy and start to brew at record pace!
I know that I've probably forgot a step or two, but it is early...lol
The waiting is the hardest, but building up the inventory and being able to brew makes it a lot easier.
The skills that you've learned brewing beer will make wine making easier, but is it easier than brewing? I wouldn't say it is easier, you have the entire time that you are bulk aging, 1-2 or more years that so many different problems can happen, you have to be very proactive.
hunter_le five
Sheriff Underscore
Agreed. You could make the same argument that beer making is "just fermenting", but like the generalization about "paint by number" wine kits, the generalization would only be true of those crappy no-boil pre-hopped extract beer kits.
Beer and wine making can both be as simple or as complicated as you want to make them.
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Never did many of those extra steps in wine making. But I didn't use a lot of fresh fruit either. Frozen maybe...
I just find brewing more enjoyable. The wait for an average beer is no where near as long as the wines I made.
I just find brewing more enjoyable. The wait for an average beer is no where near as long as the wines I made.
freshhoarse
Well-Known Member
None of this is funny. ...
...it is when you drink it with chili or pizza. The gas bombs are hilarious...
pumpkinman2012
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Lmao
I hereby nominate this as the new title if the thread! Maybe the reverse psychology will work.
Cheesy_Goodness
Well-Known Member
Had some guests over this weekend. As I was getting dinner put together someone offered to hand me my Holy City Pluff Mud Porter (which was sitting out of arms reach).
Him: You want your beer?
Me: Yeah thanks I'll take a swig.
Him: Sure thing. Wouldn't want that to get warm.
Me: Actually it's better when it's only got a slight chill to it
Him:
Thought about explaining about how different styles taste best at different temps, but decided against it since we almost had an argument earlier that day about beer getting skunked after it gets warm. Not sure where that myth came from but apparently some people dispose of beer after its gone from cold to room temp without even tasting it to make sure it's bad.
Him: You want your beer?
Me: Yeah thanks I'll take a swig.
Him: Sure thing. Wouldn't want that to get warm.
Me: Actually it's better when it's only got a slight chill to it
Him:
Thought about explaining about how different styles taste best at different temps, but decided against it since we almost had an argument earlier that day about beer getting skunked after it gets warm. Not sure where that myth came from but apparently some people dispose of beer after its gone from cold to room temp without even tasting it to make sure it's bad.
Upthewazzu
Well-Known Member
The big 3 BMC have done a damn fine job with their marketing efforts convincing the populous that you should be drinking beer at 33° and not a tenth of a degree warmer.
... beer getting skunked after it gets warm. Not sure where that myth came from but apparently some people dispose of beer after its gone from cold to room temp without even tasting it to make sure it's bad.
I want to use violence against those who suggest such a thing. I've heard this more than once from real people I know in life for years and it took several times to convince them to try it. While their BMC may not be optimal at 30 C (guessing 80-85?), it isn't ruined. It was ruined when it left the factory!
Cheesy_Goodness
Well-Known Member
My favorite part of the whole exchange is we were talking about the stuff (lagers) he usually drinks. Lagers are brewed at lower temps, so by that logic any room temp lager you buy and chill has already been chilled and warmed, so that beer SHOULD ALREADY BE SKUNKED.
There's just no talking to some people.
There's just no talking to some people.
troy2000
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Well... if you're drinking their beer, they're probably right. I usually drink Bud straight out of an ice chest. If I ever drank Bud Light, I'd probably pour it over ice.
I wouldn't dream of drinking my own beer ice cold normally, but I have a session saison that might be drinkable that way. Unfortunately I forgot to prime it, and it's setting in the bottles laughing at me.
My to-do list this weekend is:
1. Install new A/C on my motor home.
2. Prime and recap the session saison.
3. Bottle the way overdue saison in my fermenter. I was going to dry hop it for a few days, but the hops have been in it for a month now. Should be interesting.
4. Brew five gallons of something. I have grain, hops and yeast for a batch of Channel66's Shipwrecked Saison, and also for a batch of Bacon488's Mild English brown. Maybe I'll flip a coin....
5. Start drinking the saison that's been bottle conditioning.
That list isn't necessarily in order of importance; I may start at the bottom.
Well... if you're drinking their beer, they're probably right. I usually drink Bud straight out of an ice chest. If I ever drank Bud Light, I'd probably pour it over ice.
I wouldn't dream of drinking my own beer ice cold, normally, but I have a session saison that might be drinkable that way. Unfortunately I forgot to prime it, and it's setting in the bottles laughing at me.
My to-do list this weekend is:
1. Install new A/C on my motor home.
2. Prime and recap the session saison.
3. Bottle the way overdue saison in my fermenter. I was going to dry hop it for a few days, but the hops have been in it for a month now. Should be interesting.
4. Brew five gallons of something. I have grain, hops and yeast for a batch of Channel66's Shipwrecked Saison, and also for a batch of Bacon488's Mild English brown. Maybe I'll flip a coin....
5. Start drinking the saison that's been bottle conditioning.
That list isn't necessarily in order of importance; I may start at the bottom.
I just bottled my overdue saison today and had an ounce of Citra pellets in there for just shy of a month. Sample tastes great, I think you'll be just fine on that one
troy2000
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Good to know; I guess I can relax about the 1/2 oz of Saaz in mine.
jinjosavior
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Today my buddy came over to help brew. He's a little pretentious about beer, but shouldn't be because he really knows nothing. As we tasted the wort after boil, before pitching, he got a serious face and said "I like it, but I'm getting a lot of sweetness in the nose." I stifled a laugh and explained how yeast works!
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My FIL says that his dad made the best beer...
By adding a bottle of vodka to every batch!
By adding a bottle of vodka to every batch!
I saw a Miller commercial today bragging that their beer takes 21 days to brew. Im not sure if they're implying that that's a long time, like it's a big investment or what. I gotta chuckle at the things these guys all decide to brag about as if something like a 21 day lager, single digit IBU coming from triple hops, or frost brewed, really sets them ahead of the other guys.
fusa
Senior Member
Customers that come into the store I work at and ask to fill their keg. Then get angry that the keg they got isn't the keg they brought in (for deposit).
Cheesy_Goodness
Well-Known Member
BMC are really good (bad) about promoting basic things about brewing as new and ground breaking. I think it's Coors that has the tagline of "Cold brewed with Rocky Mountain Spring Water." No **** it's cold brewed, you're brewing a lager.
Triple hopping is definitely ground breaking though. I can't think of any other single instance ever where hops are added THREE times! No wonder ML is so bitter.
hunter_le five
Sheriff Underscore
Except that's not even accurate. It's *cold fermented*, just like any lager, but I guaran-damn-tee you that it's plenty hot while they are brewing the wort, because that's how brewing works. Just another example of the marketing department mucking up the terminology.
Or maybe Coors uses those no boil extract kits. Sure would explain a lot....
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drainbamage
Keep HBT weird.
Just think of how much longer it would take if they didn't keep it "undistilled"!
I think that is just their way of saying that instead of distilling water out of the beer, they add water to un-distill it.
My co-worker dropped off a boatload of bottles a couple of weeks ago. About 3/4 of them were Miller Fortune and the rest were Sam Adams. She said "My husband likes darker beers. He doesn't drink domestics." Not wanting to be an ass, I just said "cool."
Has anyone actually tried Miller Fortune? I'm not going to complain about the bottles; they're such a dark amber I can barely see through them.
Has anyone actually tried Miller Fortune? I'm not going to complain about the bottles; they're such a dark amber I can barely see through them.
Barley_Bob
Well-Known Member
Whenever I hear these ads, I always, always think about the "It's toasted" line from Mad Men.
One of the best moments in the entire show.
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This is gold. One of the best in the thread.
MarshmallowBlue
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You should have said.
"If Yer Wort is dry before you pitch, you just made O'Douls"
NickTheGreat
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