Messing with SWMBO

Where ever you may be , let your wind go free.

Yup. wherever I may roam!

I thought she wouldn't spot it till she was at the shops, but she must have seen it earlier.
I can tell because her response to my standard question of "is there anything you want me to do today?" Was "Yes, you could do the shopping please."

I always like to get in her car turn the radio to the Mexican channel and at full volume and turn the windshield wipers on full blast.

I also like to pretend I am helping put groceries away but I am actually grabbing the thing she just put away and then handing it to her.

I also like to goose her in public places when she doesn't think I'm around. She has turned around with a got to hell you pervert look more times than I can count. A bonus is if you can pull this off without her knowing it was you. One poor guy almost got peppered sprayed because of this lol

SWMBO likes to sit up in bed while browsing Pinterest or whatever it is. Lately I've been getting a good laugh by casually reaching over and flipping her phone out of her hands with one finger. Totally throws her into a brief moment of panic until she realizes what happened. Hilarious!

You guys are terrible. Clever as hell though. My favorite is saying something that only sounds questionable in church, and having one of our friends start laughing and look back to wink...
She hates that.

I got a vacuum sealer recently from Amazon to vacuum pack hops. I had to test it out, so I figured the best thing to test was my wife's hair straightener.

BreezyBrew said:

I got a vacuum sealer recently from Amazon to vacuum pack hops. I had to test it out, so I figured the best thing to test was my wife's hair straightener.

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I'd vacuum seal all her stuff

hedge_87 said:

A bonus is if you can pull this off without her knowing it was you. One poor guy almost got peppered sprayed because of this lol

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I once did this in 8th grade. I goosed a girl in a crowded hall inbetween classes; she turned around & slapped the guy next to me. I still giggle over it & that was over 35 years ago!
Regards, GF.

Well I'm a female and I do like a prank and a laugh, but nothing makes me laugh more than the smack in the balls I give my husband after he tries to mess with me...

magpiebrew said:

Well I'm a female and I do like a prank and a laugh, but nothing makes me laugh more than the smack in the balls I give my husband after he tries to mess with me...

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Whoa whoa whoa.... no low blows lady. That's too much. id punch my wife in the tit if she did that to me. :cross:

magpiebrew said:

...than the smack in the balls...

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In my house, that's considered grounds for divorce.



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It's a love tap...Plus if I went too far, nothing a beer and some coddling won't fix...

magpiebrew said:

It's a love tap...Plus if I went too far, nothing a beer and some coddling won't fix...

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Sometimes those "taps" are the worst ones. You think you're fine, and then 15 seconds later, you're doubled over wanting to puke.

The pain just seems to stay with you.

We were all bowling a few nights ago, and my buddy's wife smacked him for good right in the nuts. Right-in-the-nuts! /group hurt

dkwolf said:

Sometimes those "taps" are the worst ones. You think you're fine, and then 15 seconds later, you're doubled over wanting to puke.

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magpiebrew said:

It's a love tap...Plus if I went too far, nothing a beer and some coddling won't fix...

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jhoneycutt said:

The pain just seems to stay with you.

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I can almost feel it right now just thinking about it...

You lady are not nice!

Cheers
Jay

paulster2626 said:

Here's one. Make a horrible mess on the ceramic stove when she's out. I tell ya, I looked away for one bloody second...

She's gonna kill me.


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wtf? You can cook in the flask?

As much as I love each and every post on this thread... I manage to keep my wife feeling sufficiently messed with just by breathing.

magpiebrew said:

Well I'm a female and I do like a prank and a laugh, but nothing makes me laugh more than the smack in the balls I give my husband after he tries to mess with me...

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You know what's awesome though? All the times he's messing with you and you don't even realize it. You just know what he wants you to know.

PatrickGoss said:

wtf? You can cook in the flask?

As much as I love each and every post on this thread... I manage to keep my wife feeling sufficiently messed with just by breathing.

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Oh yeah. Boiling water straight in to the ice bath a bajillion times and no breaking!

paulster2626 said:

Oh yeah. Boiling water straight in to the ice bath a bajillion times and no breaking!

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My world is officially rocked. I will crop dust the wife tonight just to stay on topic and show my appreciation.


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magpiebrew said:

Well I'm a female and I do like a prank and a laugh, but nothing makes me laugh more than the smack in the balls I give my husband after he tries to mess with me...

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My wife was of the same mind, but titty twisters proved an effective deterrent.
What is it with you girls and the pain/humor connection? You've never seen such joy as when that woman watches someone else get hurt, especially if it is by falling...she'll cry with laughter. I swear that each X chromosome increases the likelihood of perceiving the pain of others as hilarious.

I've taken to messing with SWMBO via text message lately.
Started with this:


Then, I decided to use a combo of a play-on-words, a stock photo, and a Google search of "words that contain cat". Results:



And my personal favorite from when church people wanted to give us religious books:



This has been going on for several weeks now, so I'll need to come up with something new soon.

W0- that is brilliant. I would just get a new picture and pull an animal switch on her.


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PatrickGoss said:

W0- that is brilliant. I would just get a new picture and pull an animal switch on her.


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Haha. Or switch out the family pet with one that looks "similar" and act like nothing is wrong.

BreezyBrew said:

Haha. Or switch out the family pet with one that looks "similar" and act like nothing is wrong.

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I ASSumed a donkey pic would work.


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If your SWMBO has an iPhone go into settings and set up shortcuts. Use them on common things she types like lol, haha, etc. make it so that instead of lol it says "I am strangely physically attracted to this donkey" or something similar. Sit back, relax and let the hilarity ensue.

Jesus Christ, you guys are reaching for lame puns.

Oh, I'm sorry.

the_bird said:

Jesus Christ, you guys are reaching for lame puns.

Oh, I'm sorry.

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New screensaver!


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Don't know if it's been said already but I like to sit next to her and cut a silent but deadly and ask her if she smells popcorn so she takes a big wiff in an attempt to detect some non-existent popcorn aroma. Hilarious, get her every time.

sfgoat said:

Don't know if it's been said already but I like to sit next to her and cut a silent but deadly and ask her if she smells popcorn so she takes a big wiff in an attempt to detect some non-existent popcorn aroma. Hilarious, get her every time.

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I do a variant on that. I say "Do you hear that?" And then while we're sitting there silently and she's straining to hear something I let one rip.

I like to hug mine and let one fly. Then hold her till it goes away.

Just started dating my current girlfriend 2 weeks ago...this thread may end the relationship early

rockbasementbeer said:

Just started dating my current girlfriend 2 weeks ago...this thread may end the relationship early

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I advise that you wait before messing with her. Wait till you can fart in front of each other, after that milestone i think you should be fairly OK.

DrunkleJon said:

If your SWMBO has an iPhone go into settings and set up shortcuts. Use them on common things she types like lol, haha, etc. make it so that instead of lol it says "I am strangely physically attracted to this donkey" or something similar. Sit back, relax and let the hilarity ensue.

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Somewhat related to this:

We were in Germany for my grandmother's funeral last year, and my dad is one of those guys who NEVER puts his phone on silent. It is obnoxious. So one drunken night, me and my siblings figured out how to record a fart sound and set it as his ringtone. Every single one of us fell over laughing when it went off the next day. He had the reddest face I had ever seen due to the fart sound coming from his pants.

gometz said:

Somewhat related to this:

We were in Germany for my grandmother's funeral last year, and my dad is one of those guys who NEVER puts his phone on silent. It is obnoxious. So one drunken night, me and my siblings figured out how to record a fart sound and set it as his ringtone. Every single one of us fell over laughing when it went off the next day. He had the reddest face I had ever seen due to the fart sound coming from his pants.

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AWESOME!
Regards, GF.

CreamyGoodness said:

* Bring a book to read on the toilet, preferably a large reference volume. Leave this on the bathroom floor.

* From the bathroom, shout "Holy crap! Hey babe check this out!"

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These both made me laugh. The first because my father has 4 sisters and growing up it was a fight to have any chance in the bathroom. As a result if he could make it in there before them he'd sit on the john with a 7" thick master edition of the dictionary and read words just to drag out the time. And the second is just pure lowbrow comedy gold.

paulster2626 said:

Wash and dry all of her clothes. You'll screw it up and likely ruin many garments.

You'll never have to do laundry again.

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I'm not allowed to do laundry for similar reasons. In addition, I'm not allowed to do dishes either because I absolutely refuse to wash the dishes before putting them into the dishwasher. Strangely, to this day she still fails to see why I have a problem with that.

DrunkleJon said:

If your SWMBO has an iPhone go into settings and set up shortcuts. Use them on common things she types like lol, haha, etc. make it so that instead of lol it says "I am strangely physically attracted to this donkey" or something similar. Sit back, relax and let the hilarity ensue.

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I did this 2 weeks ago. I was trying so hard to hold in my laughter when she says to me "Every time I type in you it changes to Your Mom and I cant figure out why....."

She even had an entire conversation with her cousin about it via text.

I'm not sure if this counts but this morning I put cayanne pepper in her coffee instead of cinnamon. Oops!

PRE66_6TART said:

I do a variant on that. I say "Do you hear that?" And then while we're sitting there silently and she's straining to hear something I let one rip.

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I refer to those as "barking' spiders". they're loud & their breath stinks...I tramp my foot as I let them loose in bursts