My neighbors

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Hopleaf

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 2, 2007
Messages
491
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Location
Plano, TX
God love 'em. Every time I setup my brewing equipment they have to make comments, including her husband grumbling 'good luck with that once your baby arrives'. Every time my wife and I work on the garden he complains I'm creating more work for him. They always let their dogs crap in my yard. Today stood there talking to me while the dog did it, without a concern in the world.

Sigh.
 
Many times I've brewed in the kitchen with my daughter watching from her bouncy seat.

When we move, I want a house in the country, but SWMBO wants one in an 'association' so the kids can use the pool, tennis courts etc. Guess who wins that argument?;)
 
I hate having neighbors.

Last summer I was hanging out in my gagrage w/ a buddy brewing & drinking, just having a great time. Out of nowhere, this jerkoff who lives down the street comes rolling up into my driveway on his J.D. riding mower telling me I need to cut my grass. I mouthed off at him a little, and then he said, "Better watch your mouth boy, I'll come over here and mow a big circle in your yard." (I don't handle being callled "boy" very well.) So I replied, "Well then, why don't you just put a couple of eyes and a smiley ace on it and see if I give a sh-t." He was not amused, and we haven't spoken since.

It was the smartest thing I ever did.
 
the_bird said:
My neighbors like having sex with the windows open. The wife's pretty loud, too. Other than that, I don't hear much from them... :D

Are they good looking? You could video tape them and post on Youtube!:ban:
 
One of my neighbors stopped by. "Hey! Remember me? I stopped by with my daughter selling Girl Scout cookies a couple years ago" Of course, I din't remember, but "Okay, how's it going?" He asked, "Do you have a chainsaw I could borrow?" I said "No, but I think David across the street has one." He said, "Thanks, but I don't know him that good. See ya later":confused:
 
Hopleaf said:
God love 'em. Every time I setup my brewing equipment they have to make comments, including her husband grumbling 'good luck with that once your baby arrives'. Every time my wife and I work on the garden he complains I'm creating more work for him. They always let their dogs crap in my yard. Today stood there talking to me while the dog did it, without a concern in the world.

Sigh.

Here's hoping they have an adjustable rate mortagage.

I have three little doughball removers.....the boy likes the to taste the "hot beer" (MLT first runnings - nice and sweet). The only time they do not get to help is when I have 7 gallons of boiling wort on the back patio - too dangerous.

As for bad neighbors I told the lady next door she was a crappy mother. This was after their kids were shooting my dog with a sling shot. The dog lost an eye. We moved.
 
Hmm everyone seems to have at least one bad neighbor. I call our bad neighbors the Kravitz's. You know, like from Bewitched. She knows everything about everyone around. I swear she just sits there with binoculars and watches everything she can. And he does everything better than anyone else- just ask him and he'll tell you.

We've got another lady in the area that's selling her house. I sure hope we get someone good moving into that one.........
 
Yeah, neighbors. I have to watch the direction I shoot because the bullets are dangerous up to a mile from the .22.

Sheesh.
 
I swear I have 12 people living in the house next door. They treat their dogs like crap, chained up outside.

Across the street we have a group home for wayward girls.
 
My experience with neighbors over the past few years has been about 50/50.

At my first rental, there was a guy down the road who thought he was the neighborhood speed cop. I never drove that fast at all, but he actually followed me to my house one day, running his fat ass after my truck. When he got to me, he started ranting and raving about slowing down. He told me he'd call the cops next time he caught me "speeding" (20 in a 25 zone isn't exactly being a speed demon). I told him if he didn't get out of the driveway and stop threatening, I'd call 'em first. The rest of the neighbors were either really cool or kept to themselves.

My next neighborhood was full of great people, but some of the gals got WAY too nosy. SWMBO referred to them as the "Stepford Wives." It got so bad that she would actually turn the lights off and sneak around the house pretending not be home.

My last apartment complex experience before buying a house was a disaster, also. People who didn't pay for covered parking still tried to "claim" the public spots as their own. They got REALLY *****ie about it. The same girl who regularly neglected her giant Newfoundland's elephant sized piles turned my SWMBO in for not cleaning up after our dog (it was dark, the tiny turds were right outside our door, and she picked them up in the morning).

In New Mexico, I had a few great neighbors and some real *****ebags. It's more fun to talk about the idiots. A friend of mine came over while the neighborhood was still mostly under construction. He had a remote controlled helicopter that was rigged to shoot bottle rockets. The cops showed up after a single launch. I wish the one who called them would've had the common courtesy to come outside and let me know their kids were sleeping or something. My immediate neighbor's house was built by the same builder as mine. He actually called the builder (with whom I'd become friends) when the washer and dryer showed up because he didn't understand how to hook them up. A few days later, he came over and asked if I had a schematic of the cable wiring. I said, "No, but it wouldn't help. Your house is very "wired." It has six cable feeds, allowing you to have cable, and multiple satellite feeds. You'll need to trace one of the six from the exterior to the interior, as they all follow the same routing. I have a signal generator if you want to borrow it." He said, "Well, I really need a schematic. I'll call the builder." I tried telling him it wouldn't help, but he wouldn't listen. Later on he asked for my help again, and I offered to just wire it up for him. He refused, stating he still didn't have a schematic and didn't trust me to go mucking around. I wound up throwing some coax connectors to him and muttering something like, "Good luck." I nearly killed his "outside cat" a few times, his kids were among the dumbest I've ever met (dented a neighbors garage door with a basketball because they got bored using the net they'd been allowed to practice on), and his wife was really strange. I think he was actually scared of me, and that was just fine with me! He once flew a model airplane into my backyard and waited all day for my wife to get home before asking for it back (I had no idea it was there, and he admitted having had a "morning aviation accident"). What a weird, helpless dude.

Neighbors. Eh.
 
Maybe it's not like this everywhere in the country, but here in Ohio, people feel the need to become best buddies with their neighbors and it drives me nuts.

I have my family and friends - I don't need to be friends with you just because you moved in the house next to me. I can't wait to get my fence up.
 
I've had my share of A-Hole neighbors for the last 3 homes..

My last house had a$$holes to the left of me and richard weeds to the right. Both were very inconsiderate neighbors with barking dogs. The a$$holes to the left would always fire up the lawnmower on a Sundays when we were entertaining in the back yard.

It's so much better having just over 4 acres. 200' wide by 800' long with the house smack in the middle. Can't see a neighbor, so having breakfast on the deck in my boxers is fine. :D
 
EdWort said:
That would not last long, before it ended up on their front porch in a flaming lunch bag.
I'd bake up a batch of brownies and pile some of the turds on top (in a very obvious, stinky manner) and offer them as a gift. When the obligatory, "WTF?!" ensues, I'd simply say, "Well, I like your dog's $hit in my yard as much as you like it on brownies."

Guess I should look for a property like Ed's.
 
I've got over 2 acres.

I can go naked (not a pretty sight mind you...) on my back deck...(facing west) there's nothing but corn fields for 8 miles...;)

My neighbor to the south is an American Legion that's not even open on the weekends unless it's reserved for a party.

Neighbor to the north is a farm house about 10+ car lengths away...

There's 5 houses across the street facing east...my front yard is about the size of 3 lots...

I think there's only 2 kids on our street...:D
 
homebrewer_99 said:
I've got over 2 acres.

I can go naked (not a pretty sight mind you...) on my back deck..
Life is good!

Do you have a big deck?

[youtube]QQ7Ue5emo6I[/youtube]

Mine is huge! :mug:
 
Yuri_Rage said:
He had a remote controlled helicopter that was rigged to shoot bottle rockets.

Funny. Ahole neighbors in ABQ were shooting bottle rockets on the 4th. As you know fireworks(at least the fun ones) are illegal here. These tools were shooting rockets about 100 yards from a fire station, at the fire station - when the firefighters enforcing the ban show up they get pi$$ed at my wife for calling them, she didn't. The fat liquored up uncle starts calling my wife a b1tch and threatens to kick her a$$. I guess we moved about a year later, but man these guys were top notch ****** pipes.

Their most memorable:

30-06 new years eve middle of town
entire family attempting to intimidate by cleaning the 30-06 on the porch
getting the finger from a 6-year old
accusing my wife of backing into their car (I guess they knew we were insured)


I could probably come up with more, but it still pi$$es me off.
 
EdWort said:
Life is good! Do you have a big deck? Mine is huge! :mug:
You betcha!!

It's a 12x18 right now, but I sent away for them pills to enlarge it...I'll be paying for it with the UK lottery winnings I have coming to me...sure was glad those Nigerians purchased the ticket for me, I would have never won...;)
 
My wife moved in here about a year before I did (I had to stay in VA for another year). I worked for a few months down in Texas, so I hauled my motorcycle down there with me. On my return trip to VA, I took the bike off my truck and parked it in the garage here. When I went to load it back up, the rear cylinder wasn't firing for some reason.

So, I messed with it for a while, and found that when I'd open up the throttle a little, it would fire. So, I did that for a minute or two, just revving it a little--not much at all. Now, my bike is a little loud, but i wasn't racing the engine or anything. So, my buddy and I pulled the plugs, and cleaned and replaced them. That seemed to fix it, so I rode it up the street and back. I got on it pretty good for just a second. Then I ran it up the ramp, and me and my buddy commenced to strapping it down.

At this point, the guy across the street came out on his pront porch and started screaming "IT WORKS! THE F#####G THING WORKS!!" over and over again. Me and my buddy stood up (still in the bed of my truck). I said, "Sorry, it wasn't firing on the back cylinder. We were working on it. I shouldn't have gotten on it like that though....sorry 'bout that. I wasn't thinking."

"THE F####ING THING WORKS!! THE GODDAMN THING WORKS!!!" he says, still on his porch. He's looks like he's got spittle flying from his mouth....he looks like he about to explode. My buddy and I looked at each other, and back at him. "THE GODDAMN THING WORKS!!!!" We just stood there blinking at him for a minute, and he finally turns around and goes back in the house.

Now, in Virginia, my neighbors were mostly motorheads, and didn't give a damn. I honestly wasn't thinking when I romped on it, and I told the guy I was sorry. But to stand there and scream like a madman? Please. That was about 2 years ago, and not a word has passed between me and that *********. I think he's a closet drunk. I just got my bike back on the road after all this time today. He drove up as I was washing it. He never even looked at me. :D

My other neighbors are older folks. They're not very friendly, but they keep to themselves. Works for me!!
 
EdWort said:
It's so much better having just over 4 acres. 200' wide by 800' long with the house smack in the middle.

That sir, is one of my goals in life. :D We've been in our first home for about 2 years. We were first house on block, was nice in the beginning. Now my whole horizon and sunset is blocked by houses.

Next house, I want some land.
 
homebrewer_99 said:
I hear you.

I'll be passing through OK City on my way to Ft Sill on May 11th...is there a local brew pub in your neck of the woods? :D First round's on me...:mug:

Yep, but they range from the crappy to the underwhelming. :D Actually, I've only been to one, and wasn't impressed. Figures....looks like I might be out of town that weekend, but it's not set in stone. Remind me before you take off and we'll see what we can do!
 
I've had good neighbors and bad neighbors for the last several years, and being in military housing they've always been close. Right now, I've lived in my current neighborhood for about a year, and the closest I've met the closest neighbors in the next unit over. They seem OK, but we don't talk much. Honestly, I am a very anti-social person, the polar opposite of my SWMBO in that respect. She can start a converstation with anyone, but I really don't say much to anyone until I get to know them (or I've had a few beers). I don't like neighbors in the sense that I don't want to know their business, and don't care that they know mine.

My personal dream is to have at least 640 wooded acres (1 sq mile) with my house right smack in the middle of it. If I want to talk to someone, or share my business with them, I'll invite them over.
 
bad nieghbors are the reaSON i bought the house i'm in. last place one was a crackhead whore whose window was about spittin distance from my bedroom window. behind was a rotating game of crapshoot,dealers, users, etc. the otherside was a road and then an engineer office where the hookers took their tricks(parking lot).

my current place is 1.8 acres with my west side being a horse farm on 40 the back is @200 ft to the north neighbor, the east is about 100 to him and i haven't talked to him in the three yrs i've been here:rockin: .
 
I call the guy across the street Info-neighbor because he ran up the day we moved in and began informing us of the entire demographic of the 10 mile radius and handed us all the takeout menus he could carry. He's been one of those pain in the a$$ busy bodies ever since.

I had to cut some "on the line" tree branches in order to put a fence in and one side neighbor came over crying about how I made the trees bleed and just kept asking "why why why why?". Of course, because the fence needs to go on the property line. She then gave me a lecture on why we didn't need a fence. (allowing kids to play safely in the yard instead of wandering into 50MPH traffic just a piece down the road probably ISN'T a good reason for a fence). Interestingly enough, she was demostrating at that moment EXACTLY why I did need a fence. Godamned Hippy!

I got a similar rant from the back neighbor who was treating his property as country escape (primarlily lives in Manhattan) and didn't like the idea of a white vinyl fence. He tried bullying me into a wood fence but I stood my ground. Never heard from him again.
 
SwAMi75 said:
Yep, but they range from the crappy to the underwhelming...

My bad...I forgot we're talking about Oklahoma...:( :D

I was in the Army in Germany with a guy who's from one of the small cities outside of OKC. I hunted him down through the police station...his dad is a retired cop there...he never returned my call. We had a few misadventures together that were fun at the time, but left on bad terms since he got heavily involved with Quualudes and he didn't want my/anyone's help.

I'll try to keep this conversation in mind. Chances are I'll be bringing brew with me anyway.:D
 
We lucked out. Where we live the standard lot is a 1/4 acre, we have a corner lot on a 1/3 so we have alot of immediate neighbors and they all rock. Our house use to be a rental house so they are very happy to see some one take care of it. That and they are all thai, jamacian, or japanese so the food at enighborhood block parties kicks ass. What I hate are the rest of the aholes that and jerk wads that drive through the neighborhood blairing bass music at 1am.

Our 10 year plan includes us buying several acres in the panhandle around the madison area. I love my neighbors but I hate the damn city.
 
I have neighbors like that on one side of me. This weekend they started to build a garden over the property line onto my backyard. What ever happened to common courtesy ?

They also put their shed too close to my property line. I could be a dick and call zoning and make them move the shed...
 
I live in a townhouse rental complex. Each driveway has 4 garages on each side for a total of 8 garages. 4 on one side, 4 on the other. So when I want to go out into the "man cave" if I want my door open I run the chance of another neighbor having his/her garage open, too. That's all fine depending on which garage is open.
The guy who lived directly across from me, he sucked. Our garage doors were 25 feet away and he ws always out there. One time I was shampooing the carpet. I had a hose run for the vaccum from the spigot by the garage through my garage and into my house. My door going into my garage is open due to the hose and I had left my garage door open. Dude comes walking into my garage, almost to my door, in a very casual manner mind you, asks what I'm doing. I was like "What the FCUK are you doing?!?" He wanted to know if we were filling up a waterbed (forbidden in the lease agreement). I hated the guy to begin with so I just went off on him. Never bugged me again.
But then he had his son who lived with him. This guy is like 30 years old and still lives with his dad. Total. ******. He comes home at like 3:30 in the morning on a Wednesday blasting his music, which sounded something like Enya or the Titanic soundtrack. Woke us up and the baby. I yelled out the window to him and threw on some clothes and was going to go down stairs. But me and SWMBO looked out the window at him again and he was so hopelessly drunk that I don't even know how he still had the ability to walk. I just let him go to bed, but I called him out on it the next day. He wouldn't even look at me.:p
 
Hooray, I found a solution to unleashed lap dogs pooping in my yard!

puppyfryfu4.jpg


:drunk:
 
My heighbour keeps flirting with me. It can get really embarrassing, and drives the missus to distraction sometimes. Every single time i talk to her, whether the wife is with me or not she will offer to pay "in kind" for any help or work I've given. She's a good neighbour overall, but I seriously wish she would stop that crap. :( I've thought about addressing her about it, and I probably will one day when the time seems right.
 
Was it Mark Twain who said "Good fences make good neighbors"?
:D
Maybe Ben Franklin?

Just finished my fence last night. Unforunately, the HOA does not allow fences to go from the backyard to the street. The neighbors have five cars parked in front of their house 24/7, 2 in the driveway and 3 in the street. So frustrating. Thankfully they rent so they could move when the lease is up.
 
I have to say I really like my neighbors, knock on wood. One is a quiet piano teacher and the other own a local coffee shop. Neighbors across the street are far and behind me is a whole lotta dead people.
 
God love 'em. Every time I setup my brewing equipment they have to make comments, including her husband grumbling 'good luck with that once your baby arrives'. Every time my wife and I work on the garden he complains I'm creating more work for him. They always let their dogs crap in my yard. Today stood there talking to me while the dog did it, without a concern in the world.

Sigh.

I used to have neighbors who let their dogs crap in my yard. So I started collecting it in a bag that I left on the side of the house. When it was full enough (within a week) I set it on the hood of their car. A few days later they asked me if I knew who did it and I said "Yes" and walked away. A few hours later they came by and asked if I did it, I said "Yes" told them I had asked them several times in the past not to let their dog crap in my yard and that I was returning what was theirs.

Dogs didn't crap in the yard anymore.
 
I used to have neighbors who let their dogs crap in my yard. So I started collecting it in a bag that I left on the side of the house. When it was full enough (within a week) I set it on the hood of their car. A few days later they asked me if I knew who did it and I said "Yes" and walked away. A few hours later they came by and asked if I did it, I said "Yes" told them I had asked them several times in the past not to let their dog crap in my yard and that I was returning what was theirs.

Dogs didn't crap in the yard anymore.


Bag of crap on hood = Good
Bag of crap under hood = better ;)
 
I used to have neighbors who let their dogs crap in my yard. So I started collecting it in a bag that I left on the side of the house. When it was full enough (within a week) I set it on the hood of their car. A few days later they asked me if I knew who did it and I said "Yes" and walked away. A few hours later they came by and asked if I did it, I said "Yes" told them I had asked them several times in the past not to let their dog crap in my yard and that I was returning what was theirs.

Dogs didn't crap in the yard anymore.

I really like how you dropped that "hint." I will be keeping it in mind for future offensive neighbors.

Thanks.
 
Out of my 22 home neighborhood i like everybody but one...and of course the one lives right next to me. His front porch looks like a f***in jungle gym and his grass is a sand pit with a couple weeds sticking up out of it. The guy two doors down is a fellow alabama fan and former homebrewer...can't get much better than that :)
 
This building I am in now is pretty good. The girls that live upstairs are cool enough but can get loud(high heels on wood floors at 2am getting ready to go out) And the one upstairs gets really loud at night with her Boyfriend who is over on occation. Cant really complain. Everyone kinda stays to themselves. Alot better then my last building. The guy that lived below us had a small meth lab going. We didnt know this for the first 7 months we lived there. All we knew is that we never turned the heat on all winter. Then one day he decided to start yelling racial slurs out the window to the black guy on his porch across the parking lot. We called the cops and when the cops tackled him in the parking a pipe and some rocks fell out of his pocket.
In the 9 months that we lived there, we called the police 37 times. He would start screaming at us to shut up when ever I walked across the room. The floors were thin but not that bad. He tried to break into the apt once while I was sleeping and my SWMBO was in the shower. I got out of bed and he was kicking in my door. He had the bottom free but luckily the bolt held. When he reached around to try and get the bolt off I kicked the door from the other side and definetly broke his hand. I heard the crunch. This was the night before the morning he was arrested in our parking lot. Worst 9months living anywherer.

Now I am moving into a house with a friend so whether that means the end or beginning of crazy neighbors I dont know. I just hope I have room for all my brewing equipment.
 
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