The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

Saw that on the football thread. What the hell happened?

i dunno, i am an absolute idiot and I havent even been banned. I was warned once, but thats it

Cape is fine and flipping you all the bird. Not the_bird, the bird.

And to be clear, he's including the_bird in his bird flipping.

He'll be back to his usual annoying self once his time out is over.

And please stop feeding the animals. I'm going to be pissed if we get re-infested by XXX again and I have to call an exterminator to get rid of him.

(Oops, I better be careful. Some halfwit could think I was threatening to shoot someone and I'd get a three day vacation.)

It seems to me you have threatened enough hookers to get a lifetime ban. Just sayin.

Shhhhhh. The manufacturers of 1099 count on me.

Nah. He's gonna come back all humble and sh*t

What did he do now?

threatened someone, well didnt but the ***** took it that way

Crickets in the Masshole thread?

Better than Massholes in the cricket thread.

Did I miss the offensive cricket-palooza thread?

WTH, i posted a viedo with crickets and that was removed. geez

Please don't feed the animals. Thank you.

Who's getting what for Christmas?

I'm getting more broke!

Nothing! I've been naughty.

Seriously though all I want for Christmas is 2016 to be mellow and uneventful. bring on Boring.

I'm getting y'all some coal

Any recommendations on what to get single females in their late 20's?

And I'm talking about my daughters, you buttwads, keep it clean.

Trip to get hair/nails done
Hats/mittens/gloves/coats/scarves
Warm fancy socks (trust me)
Chocolate
Restaurant gift cards
AAA Membership
Warm fuzzy PJ's
Sweatshirts

Does that help?

Melana said:

Nothing! I've been naughty.

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... sounds like John's gettin' something good.

the_bird said:

... sounds like John's gettin' something good.

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Not likely.

paulthenurse said:

Any recommendations on what to get single females in their late 20's?

And I'm talking about my daughters, you buttwads, keep it clean.

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They're too old for them to need legal emancipation. I got nothin'.

Can you explain the term 'fancy socks?'

I'm being serious. Socks. How can socks be fancy?

paulthenurse said:

Can you explain the term 'fancy socks?'

I'm being serious. Socks. How can socks be fancy?

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Warm fancy socks. Say, alpaca. You know, fancy socks.

Blank expression on my face...

paulthenurse said:

Can you explain the term 'fancy socks?'

I'm being serious. Socks. How can socks be fancy?

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Socks that don't come in 10 packs. The heavy ones in fun colors (my fun colors are shades of grey) that are like $4/pair. No twenty-something buys $4/pair socks.

Also, if they live on their own get them some snazzy piece of kitchen cookware - an upgrade to their current pots and pans or something that a 20-something would not be able to afford.

I just googled fancy socks.

Still don't get it. Socks. Overpriced socks.

Unlimited use of the pizza oven ... :beard:

Can't you just ask Mrs. thenurse to tell you what to get?

paulthenurse said:

I just googled fancy socks.

Still don't get it. Socks. Overpriced socks.

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https://www.sockbin.com/striped-office-dress-socks-cotton-by-excell-220.html

I thought about a le crueset Dutch oven. Reasonable?

Melana said:

Can't you just ask Mrs. thenurse to tell you what to get?

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That's the easy way out

And before you start blasting away that asking you guys is still the easy way out, I know that. I don't have a problem taking the easy way out, especially if she doesn't know I took the easy way out.

paulthenurse said:

I thought about a le crueset Dutch oven. Reasonable?

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I am up for adoption.

I make a pretty good daughter too.

No. You'd bring John. The house isn't big enough.

paulthenurse said:

No. You'd bring John. The house isn't big enough.

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No, I wouldn't.

paulthenurse said:

I thought about a le crueset Dutch oven. Reasonable?

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I gave my wife a dutch oven once, but it involved the bedspread and massive flatulence. Worst present ever, she declared.

Not THAT Dutch Oven.

What about the Squatty Potty?

I've been updating my cookware to enamel coat cast iron. I love cooking with it, unbelievable.

I just read that out loud and I sound lame.