EMEGERNCY!!! tell me about this!!

my mom told me she has white wine grapevine yard, I checked it out, lot of animals did picked it and ate lot of it, she asked me to find out how to make wine out of that vineyard, please help me so we can get it started picking the white grapes, its offically wine vineyard itself!! so how do I make homemade wine out of it?


please please help me out!! I even will do with my feets!! im newbie so crank me up please!!

Are you serious?

You've just now discovered that your mother has a white grape vineyard?

And all this time here he was, thinking it was a toolshed or possibly a tennis court...

Oh, let's not be mean. After all, how many wine emergencies do we get to handle around here that don't involve wine hypochondria or bottle bombs?

Papa, quickly race into your mother's newly discovered vineyard and fight off the animals eating the grapes, gathering all the fruit into a giant burlap sack. Race to KMart and buy an appropriately sized above ground swimming pool, and roll the burlap sack full of grapes into the empty pool. Now, quickly! Gather up your friends and family, and have them all cannonball from a tall stepladder onto the burlap bag until there is a pool full of grape juice.

Now put a really large lid on the pool, with an airlock. Toss in a bucket of yeast.

Wait a few months and let us know how it turns out.

...............

first look into this:



Then, follow Hoopers advice.

If you are above 21, and actually interested in making wine from grapes, we can help you. However, when you post as above, we will all assume you are underage and attempting to make prison hooch without your parents knowing about it.

If you actually want to make wine from grapes... I highly suggest first reading "grapes to wine" it is a great book on vineyard care and wine making. Then come back with things you don't understand. Or go buy a wine kit from your local homebrew shop and practice with that.

Papabeach1 go to a Barnes and Noble and get a wine making book, or google online how to make wine from grapes. There are ingredients that are needed, as well as carboys or fermenting buckets.
Plan on investing a little bit of money to get started.

Also don't let the guys get you worked up. Many times kids come on these forums trying to learn how to make hooch. Being deaf, I am sure it was hard to learn all proper grammar.

Good luck with your grapes, but remember that wine making will be a slow process so don't get in a hurry.

And what's the emergency again?

Coastarine said:

And what's the emergency again?

Click to expand...

He didn't say he had an emergency... he said it was an emegerncy. See? now it all makes sense...

Wine Emergency..it's a lot like needing emergency pants!



Never know when a roving swarm of moths will strike...Like animals eating grapes...


I got nothing.

Boerderij Kabouter said:

first look into this:
we will all assume you are underage and attempting to make prison hooch without your parents knowing about it.

Click to expand...

speaking of that "prison hooch" i made.
god it was like kool-aide and vodka.
then after having it opened for a little while it became very vinegar-esque.
so no one listen to me when i think of a random idea... ever.
I am going to try the one they have on here that uses the juice from concentrate.

as for you're emergency:

wow, yeah... you just found out about it, or did she just purchase it out of random?

in the month I've been a member to this forum I've learned that if you want to make wine in a hurry then just give up now because DAMN this stuff takes months and years even! so no emergency stuff here.

as everyone else said, B&N, grab a wine making for beginners book and read it front to back, ask us on here what you cannot understand, and in the meantime... nurse your vineyard.

And now you know how to make red wine vinegar.
Do yourself a favor and throw the rest of it on a salad.

will_cbe said:

And now you know how to make red wine vinegar.
Do yourself a favor and throw the rest of it on a salad.

Click to expand...

yeah, I'll put some olive oil in it and some herbs and have a lovely salad before work tonight

papabeach1 said:

my mom told me she has white wine grapevine yard, I checked it out, lot of animals did picked it and ate lot of it, she asked me to find out how to make wine out of that vineyard, please help me so we can get it started picking the white grapes, its offically wine vineyard itself!! so how do I make homemade wine out of it?


please please help me out!! I even will do with my feets!! im newbie so crank me up please!!

Click to expand...

If you're for real, try reading "From vines to wines" by Jeff Cox, or "The Backyard Vinter: an Enthusiast's Guide to Growing Grapes & Making Wine at Home" by Jim Law. If you use TDD/TTY give your county extension agent a call, or just email them, you should find them in the blue pages of your phone book; or do a google search using the keywords "county extension agent" and the name of the county your Mom's grape vine(s) are in. Your local library is a good source of info too. You might consider trying something simple at first, maybe Ed Wort's apfelwein recipe. That would let you get familiar with the basic process & would be both inexpensive & pretty much goof-proof. You will be needing some basic equipment & supplies, so Check the yellow pages for a home brew store, or there are several home brew stores (HBS) online, some of them advertise on this site. You can also find some good info online at The Winemaking Home Page I'd suggest you at least read through Keller's winemaking page so you have a basic understanding of the process, then try a simple recipe. In the meantime, find out what variety of grape(s) you have & be aware that not all grapes make good wine. Hope you find this info useful, GF.
DISCLAIMER: His profile says he's 27, far as I know, he's legal.

Boerderij Kabouter said:

first look into this:

Then, follow Hoopers advice.

If you are above 21, and actually interested in making wine from grapes, we can help you. However, when you post as above, we will all assume you are underage and attempting to make prison hooch without your parents knowing about it.

If you actually want to make wine from grapes... I highly suggest first reading "grapes to wine" it is a great book on vineyard care and wine making. Then come back with things you don't understand. Or go buy a wine kit from your local homebrew shop and practice with that.

Click to expand...

By the way, when I first saw this I almost blew homebrew out of my nose from laughing so hard!

yeah Boerderij Kabouter, that was classic

if this is serious, your first step, and you need to find this out as soon as possible, is to find out what kind of grape it is, as harvest times, and winemaking approach will vary depending on the variety. white or red? vinifera or labrusca? etc.

gratus fermentatio said:

try reading "From vines to wines" by Jeff Cox

Click to expand...

Doh... This is the book I meant to recommend. It is very good. The one I listed is a pamphlet and is terrible

just spray your grapes with some sort of animal repellent and forget about it until they're ready for harvest.

i kike to freeze the fruit if fresh when it unthaws its easyier to work with

Nerro said:

And all this time here he was, thinking it was a toolshed or possibly a tennis court...

Click to expand...

Bahahahahaha..... ahhh thats good stuff...