Rushed during brew day more stressful than relaxing

Anyone ever felt rushed during brew day causing you to make a mistake forget a addition Mia. Step or anything else to cause the relaxing hobby to become a stressful near disaster? Today for me it was from SWMBO. Today was marked for brewing but when it came down to it she was all over me " how much longer". I ended up being a tad lax on my sanitizer use and not getting to cool my wort down as much as I'd like because we just HAD to go to target... Why she can't go to target by herself I dunno but I just shut up and hurried. Anyways once I was done I said ok bane let's go to the store.... Then I get this answer " oh I am really into this show I'll just go tomorrow"....
Love my wife. I'm just kidding I really do but geez

Women......
.........

I suggest earplugs as vital gear for future brewdays.

"Why don't you brew in the morning?"
"Brew Day always gets in the way of Family Time."
"We have to schedule this around Brew Day? Of course!"
"This is starting to conflict with our life."
Okay, if you would rather brew than be with your daughter."

I brew once every 3-4 weeks, averaging about a 4 hour brew day. During that time I am usually in the house (1 hour mash, popping out to throw hops in the boil, etc.) Am I neglecting my family? Sheesh!

Hmmmm. Ya I feel your pain. You need to let her know that when your brewing its going to take a long time and she needs to respect that. I had similar issues in the early days. Now my wife knows better. Now that I'm a more organized and confident in my brewing skills, I can still do other things around the house while I'm brewing but leaving the boil is not one of them. I have no problem leaving to do the grocery shopping during cool down and such but brew day is my day end of story and as long as i get other things done she leaves me alone. Last mon i made a patch of ipa and cleaned the gutters, then went grocery shopping during cool down. One thing that helps is i start my brew day around 6/7am this way i have time to do what i want and what she wants.

I now feel spoiled.

I hear ya same with me. It's raining here do I brewed in my garage so I would go inside during mash and only had three hop additions and one was at 60 and one was at 10 and 5. She was just chillin inside. We watched crappy tv but I just felt like I was being rushed. I also hear this a lot " you have brewing stuff everywhere it's in every room of the house" " do you need to save every bottle of beer you have" um yes!.

That's why I brew when my wife is out with her friends!

Yea planned to brew early but I promised I'd go with her to the farmers market so then I'd brew. She doesn't mind me brewing we compromise on time.

I can't brew to a schedule. Every time I do, I mess sones going up and it takes an extra 60 - 90 minutes.

I am lucky enough to brew weekday mornings. Everyone is at work/school and I concentrate on the "job" at hand.

I only brewed once so far but I made sure that the kitchen was mine! At least she didn't mind the house smelling like beer, which I loved.

I haven't gotten to brew as much as I'd like. Is there any way to split a brew day up into two days? Mash and Sparge. Store the runnings then on day two do the boil and put into primary?

Man I totally remember those days... SW(thinks she)MBO would come out into the brewery from time to time and give me crap about the time it takes, the smell, the wasted water, the wasted 8 hour day..... ETC.... I threatened if she didn't stop giving me crap about my hobby I would make a business out of it.......LOL



What can I say, she didn't stop......

Phunhog said:

I am lucky enough to brew weekday mornings. Everyone is at work/school and I concentrate on the "job" at hand.

Click to expand...

Same here^^^^^

Sounds like you've got bigger problems than missing your mash temp.

I have a no bitching policy when I'm brewing.

Meh. That’s just people. We all want and NEED to know we’re important to the one who WE feel should make us feel that way. As we grow we begin to understand this dynamic. Her questioning attitude and pressure can be interpreted (in my experience) as “do you think I’m important?” “Is ‘beer’ more important to you than me?” Simple questions – stemming from basic needs – but HUGE ramifications if not dealt with. Understanding people and learning each other’s queues for acceptance and value are far more important than the TIME itself spent on each other / with each other / with our external “hobbies.”

On brew day, at least in the beginning should, yes, be self-centered but if external hobbies cause internal strife for our loved ones – simple gestures of reassurance are in order… And, if peace and solitude (i.e. desire for focus on the task at hand) is expected you have to explain those expectations. YOU expect to be focused on your “love of the moment” but HER (or his) expectations may be different. Discuss expectations, arrive at an understanding, and reassure through simple gestures that they are indeed important, needed, loved, desired, etc.

Granted, YOUR brew day may be the one and only solitude you get and you just want to be alone. It’s hard for loved ones (Including us) to understand that others WANT to be alone…Away from the other. Solace is certainly achieved individually but at what cost? Again, back to expectations… In a nut shell, discuss expectations and conclude with an understanding that fares well with both sides. The discussion alone may be the only tool needed in order to reassure value. Communication…. It’s the only link between feeling happy and BEING happy. Cheers mate and warmest regards.

-JM

I'd love if my wife would brew with me. I did make sure that during the down times I spent time with her watching our fav show and cooking lunch so we still had fun. Maybe that's why we stayed home

It is threads like this that make me glad I am single. I would say you need to make a rule. Brew day is ___ and brew day will take as long as it takes. If that doesn't work there are 2 options.

1) Divorce
2) Give up homebrewing.

I would opt for #1 if you can't get a brew day set aside.

Sometimes I think spouses like that know the day was set aside for brewing but just can't stand the fact that they aren't dominating your attention 100% of the time. They have their own lil ways of controling you without your feeling it. When that gets taxed,you're going to here it. It's a form of jelousy imo. And I've been at it 36 years. They have to understand that they knew this was going to be your time to do______,so let me do it,then we'll do what you want. This can't be stopped once started,so be patient.
But in my case,she loved the beers I made,thought the BK smelled like some kind of barley soup. Then she decided to come into the lhbs with me after taxes came in. She picked out a kit she thought she'd like. I showed/explained what to do,but I let her do it. Just lending a hand when one was needed. Since we both can cook,& brewing is similar,she didn't have much problems with it. When I'm brewing,she's likely to be playing her favorite game over in the living room.