Wish Corruption thread

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snowveil said:
Granted. You now work in a flower shop.

I wish I hit all of my numbers on this brew today.
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Granted. Too bad your brewstand fails just as you're done chilling and are about to rack.

I wish that dog would shut the $%# up
 
Granted, he is no longer barking, because he has a firm grip on your testicles.

I wish I was out hunting instead of at work.
 
Ceedubya said:
Granted, your head is now so full of knowledge of algebra you have lost all other information you ever knew on any other subject.

I wish I could get a decent nights sleep.
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Granted. You have slept through the apocalypse and now the only people left on the Earth to repopulate the species are you, Rosie O' Donnel, and Janet Reno.

I wish beer only took 24 hours to be ready.
 
snowveil said:
Granted. You have slept through the apocalypse and now the only people left on the Earth to repopulate the species are you, Rosie O' Donnel, and Janet Reno.

I wish beer only took 24 hours to be ready.
Click to expand...

the world is doomed.......


wish granted but you only have 23 hours to live.... sorry.

I wish for a huge house with a swimming pool.
 
gestyr said:
Granted. The games will no longer be broadcast in your area... or any other area you might be in.

I wish more people would run with scissors. :ban:
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Granted. Everywhere you go random people with scissors charge you with blades extended.

I wish Trappist beers were $1 a bottle and available at the gas station.
 
Granted. $1Trappist beer everywhere but it has been stored in clear glass bottled in the corner of a greenhouse.
I wish I knew the recipe of any beer just by tasting it.
 
JebCkr said:
Granted, but one of the wishes was that your wish wouldn't come true. :confused:

I wish I had a brand new Lexus LFA.
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Granted but an uninsured redneck driving a 1985 F250 just totalled it while spinning cookies in the parking lot.

I wish the IR reciever on my tv hadn't died so the remote control still worked :mad:
 
Ceedubya said:
Granted but an uninsured redneck driving a 1985 F250 just totalled it while spinning cookies in the parking lot.

I wish the IR reciever on my tv hadn't died so the remote control still worked :mad:
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Remote fixed, however the only channels that are working are CSPAN and QVC.

I wish all beer no matter the style had zero calories and never filled you up, but still had all the flavor.
 
strat_thru_marshall said:
Remote fixed, however the only channels that are working are CSPAN and QVC.

I wish all beer no matter the style had zero calories and never filled you up, but still had all the flavor.
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Done! The secret ingredient is arsenic.

I wish this cold or flu or whatever I have would just go away!
 
strat_thru_marshall said:
Granted. Your cold is cured. Unfortunately now you have VD.

I wish my boss would give me a huge raise and a company car.
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granted, but the "raise" is in his pants and the car is a 1978 AMC Pacer with a broken drivers side door so you have to climb in on the passenger side.

I wish my dog would stop rolling in poop
 
strat_thru_marshall said:
Granted. Your cold is cured. Unfortunately now you have VD.

I wish my boss would give me a huge raise and a company car.
Click to expand...

Granted. Unfortunately he gave you that raise and company car because he felt bad about what happened between him and your wife.

I wish I was more creative.
 
Ceedubya said:
I wish my dog would stop rolling in poop
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Granted. Everytime your dog finds poop that needs to be rolled in, you must roll in it in his stead.

TXCurtis said:
I wish I was more creative.
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Granted. Now no one in the world can stand you because you won't STFU about how creative you are. You become so lonely you decide that you will kill yourself in the most creative way ever. No one even cares.

Sorry, that got a little twisted.

I wish it were Friday night again and that I didn't have class tomorrow.
 
Granted, you've been cast in a National Lampoon produced sequel to "Groundhog Day" in which you play Bill Murray's raucous child, and must repeat the same Friday night party until you learn your lesson. It's called "Friday Night Fever."

I wish I hadn't eaten this entire bag of almonds.
 
vast_reaction said:
Granted, you've been cast in a National Lampoon produced sequel to "Groundhog Day" in which you play Bill Murray's raucous child, and must repeat the same Friday night party until you learn your lesson. It's called "Friday Night Fever."

I wish I hadn't eaten this entire bag of almonds.
Click to expand...

Granted, you only ate HALF the bag before you remembered you're severely allergic to almonds.

I wish I had a personal chef on call 24/7.
 
scrambledegg81 said:
Granted. You are now standing next to Elvira. *boiiiiiing* :cross:



I wish my EMT license wasn't so damn hard to renew.
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Wish Granted. They changed the forms so renewing is a 5 minute process. Too bad you just got laid off.

I wish my dog could speak English with me.
 
Granted, but then the Secret Service hacked in and removed it because you are not supposed to know he is still alive. Also, as a result, you are now on their watch list.

I wish I had a full head of hair.
 
jacob1484 said:
Granted. too bad you're stranded on a mountain in the northernmost part of Siberia. Maybe you can burn those dollars to keep warm.

I wish I had a Jet Pack
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Your wish for a Jet Pack is granted. Unfortunately, when you were using it it blew up, scattering body parts all over the mountain in the northernmost part of Siberia that you and Laughing_Gnome_Invisible were on at the time. Laughing_Gnome_Invisible laughed all the way home.

I wish I was living in Tahiti.
 
sacrifice said:
I wish I was living in Tahiti.
Click to expand...

Granted. Your neighbors to the north run a cocaine production facility from their garage, and your neighbors to the south are drunken, spoiled surfers that stay up all night playing Xbox and watching Wild Boys. Loudly.


I wish Taco Bell hadn't put that damn creamy sauce on my chicken quesadilla.
 
granted, by eliminating monday you have competly thrown off the calander, and thus the space time continuum and when you wake up Biff will own your ass.

I wish we would shot a deer this weekend.
 
Ceedubya said:
granted, by eliminating monday you have competly thrown off the calander, and thus the space time continuum and when you wake up Biff will own your ass.

I wish we would shot a deer this weekend.
Click to expand...

Granted. You would shot a deer. Nobody is sure what that means, and nobody takes you seriously. You have to clean would shot deer by yourself and none of your friends will eat the deer sausage they believe doesn't exist.

I wish I wasn't going to be hungover in the morning.
 
gestyr said:
Granted. You don't wake up until tomorrow evening and have the worst hangover in history.

I wish the sky was green.
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Granted the sky is green, which is a common occurance right before a tornado. The tornado took your house and car.

I wish I had some homebrew right now.
 
Ceedubya said:
Granted the sky is green, which is a common occurance right before a tornado. The tornado took your house and car.

I wish I had some homebrew right now.
Click to expand...

Granted. Your refrigerator is completely full of homebrew. I brewed it with water from my septic tank.

I wish the coffee at work was a little higher quality...
 

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