Wife's reaction to new brewing hobby?

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I've only been dating my girlfriend for a little over 6 months. We recently moved in together and i've already heard

"So you are brewing, and now you don't have to buy any beer at the store?"

Lol. I haven't had the heart to tell her the truth just yet
 
Like LarryC said, if it keeps me home, she's usually alright with it. She's put up with the homemade bread, the fresh jelly and today's canned pears, so this is just another thing on the list.
I am going to drink beer anyway and after the gear is amortized over a few batches I can prove to her it saves money.
She likes beer but just nothing hoppy so I promised something she likes for batch number two.
 
You know you're in trouble when your girlfriend/wife calls the box you have in the closet or garage containing all your brewing supplies a "hobby box".... sigh....
 
My wife became much more amenable to the whole brewing thing when I started keeping soda water and root beer on tap.....
 
sulawesi said:
Another IT guy here (programmer). My girlfriend gives me a hard time about it too, but I think that's just because she doesn't like beer. I don't think she would care as much if I was making wine.
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Wine is actually easier than beer, I've found (gasp!). Make her happy, grab another carboy, find a grape juice shop in little Italy in your region (for me, right around the corner), throw in a little EC-1118, wait 6 - 8 weeks, filter, bottle, and let her get ripped on wine while you get ripped on beer.

That's what I did.
 
I'm pretty new to brewing and my wife has been very accepting of it thus far.
Much more accepting than she is of me golfing or riding my motorcycle.
 
After 17 years, a new hobby doesn't surprise the wife. She just want to know what it is going to cost. Brewing is fun because my 11 year old daughter is interested and is involved in every step except drinking, says its nasty. Like my wife she doesn't like the smell. I don't get heckled, the wife just rolls her eyes.
 
My wife considers me a "Hobby Whore" because i like doing manly sheit: Brewing, Fishing, Hunting, Smoking, etc.

As for brewing, i found that making a "for her beer" tends to win them over ;)
 
My wife doesn't mind too much unless (like yesterday) I have a mess in the kitchen when she's trying to make dinner.

We both hate the smell that boiling wort leaves in the house, so I seep the grains in the house and then when it's time to boil, I move out to the turkey fryer in the garage. ;)
 
My wife's reaction? Bemused indifference. She gets a day to skedaddle to the big city once a month and visit with her mother (who gets to play with the kids) and I get a day alone to quietly contemplate brewing beer. Works out great for both of us.

We just celebrated out 9th anniversary and still love to spend a quiet evening together but the individual times are important too.
 
My wife is only worried about the cost.

I tend to get into a new hobby and hit it big, then forget about it. Case-in-point, I took photography classes in college. I got done with them, and dropped 400 bucks on various darkroom equipment to build my own. I built a darkroom in my apartment, then we moved. I built it again in my townhome. I spent hours designing things, (mobile, quick disconnecting sinks, activated charcoal air filters, etc.), but in the end, only actually developed ONE ROLL OF FILM.

The darkroom stuff is on Craigslist now for $175. And once I get that money, guess where it's going? Into my brewing stuff. I've already invested a good $500, (carboys, kegs, fridge, turkey fryer, IC, etc), and have plans to go all grain, plumb the garage, etc....

She's just worried that, like the photography, and this summers' earlier project, (a free boat that quickly became very expensive), my interest will peak and fizzle.

It hasn't yet though! 3 batches under my belt, 1 already in the keggerator, Centennial Blonde, (extract), planned next....

My only problem is she can't stand my first batch...(it's green, and I effed up the batch...didn't crush the grains before steeping, so it's missing a lot of flavor and color).....and I've got to convince her that the money WILL pay out, and I WILL make good beer...sooner or later....I just hope the Honey Weizen and/or Porters work out.
 
My wife suggested I start homebrewing (while we were dating)... I wasn't interested at the time. So she was thrilled 2 years later when I decided to start brewing. She loves my beer and actually likes the smell (at least in the garage)...
 
shortyjacobs said:
My wife is only worried about the cost.

I tend to get into a new hobby and hit it big, then forget about it. Case-in-point, I took photography classes in college. I got done with them, and dropped 400 bucks on various darkroom equipment to build my own. I built a darkroom in my apartment, then we moved. I built it again in my townhome. I spent hours designing things, (mobile, quick disconnecting sinks, activated charcoal air filters, etc.), but in the end, only actually developed ONE ROLL OF FILM.

The darkroom stuff is on Craigslist now for $175. And once I get that money, guess where it's going? Into my brewing stuff. I've already invested a good $500, (carboys, kegs, fridge, turkey fryer, IC, etc), and have plans to go all grain, plumb the garage, etc....

She's just worried that, like the photography, and this summers' earlier project, (a free boat that quickly became very expensive), my interest will peak and fizzle.

It hasn't yet though! 3 batches under my belt, 1 already in the keggerator, Centennial Blonde, (extract), planned next....

My only problem is she can't stand my first batch...(it's green, and I effed up the batch...didn't crush the grains before steeping, so it's missing a lot of flavor and color).....and I've got to convince her that the money WILL pay out, and I WILL make good beer...sooner or later....I just hope the Honey Weizen and/or Porters work out.
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I am KIND-OF the same way! I am a Ham Operator and I still use the radios but it might only been on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. I still hang antennas and talk to mostly hams and whatnot. I started gardening and shes complaining that I don't go out to the garden anymore! (Everything is about spent).

She just doesn't want me to spend more money than she does on a hobby ;) hahaha. I have to evenly divide it up so she can do what she enjoys also (which is totally understandable).

I would like to MAYBE try and get her interested in making wine...hmmmm what a great idea. I can only get her to like super sweet and non alcoholic-tasting wines though so that may be a bit of a challenge.
 
brrman said:
My wife suggested I start homebrewing (while we were dating)... I wasn't interested at the time. So she was thrilled 2 years later when I decided to start brewing. She loves my beer and actually likes the smell (at least in the garage)...
Click to expand...

I didn't actually think about brewing in the garage until you said that. It's a beautiful idea! I might be able to use the stove on the propane grill (or the gas stove inside..whichever). It's getting cooler out so the fermentation would be a lot cooler outside in the garage (i would think).

Even though temperatures go up and down if it stays in the "good range"; that's OK isn't it? I don't know how im going to pull that off but yeah. During the winter months I could always have one of those warming bands around it keeping it the right temp or something. I'll have to see when the time comes!
 
rrittenhouse said:
I have been happily married for 3 (going on 4) years now. I am 25 years old and I like to "make" things. I think part of this comes from me having an IT job and all of my work isn't on a tangible object, rather it's something virtual.

I'm a Ham Operator and I love working with electronics to "make" things. I also like to garden and grow things. Now I am wanting to start the brewing hobby to see if I'm successful at it and if I like it or not. The wife has heckled me about each and every hobby I take up.

Do any of you guys experience this or am I alone here? :D
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Must be a guy thing. Women don't understand hobbies. I constantly start new ones, and they're not usually cheap. from Tournament Paintball and general Gun Whore to Motorcross to Brewing. I have also recently picked up disc Golf. Disc golf is at least cheap. $25 startup and no course fees.
 
My secret:

Plan ahead. I put brew days on the calendar, so she knows when I'm brewing (after asking if she has anything planned for that day first).

Accomplish something else during down times. Lots of time watching grains mash, wort boil, wort cool, etc. It's pretty easy to mow the lawn, weed, shovel snow, etc. I would get bored anyway, so I like to keep busy with something else.

Last - point out that in the long run (if I can stop buying stuff!) homemade beer is SO much cheaper than store bought.
 
I can't say that every time I've mowed the lawn this Summer I had wort boiling but definitely every time I had wort boiling I mowed my lawn.
 
I personally don't like beer, I brew mead. My suggestion to those of you that wifes don't like the smell or taste, brew a batch of mead. It is simpler that beer, no mash stage or sparging. The smell of heated honey is a great thing. For those that don't like the smell of beer, Mead is so much better. Yes it will take an extra year in the bottle to age but I like the taste better. Or even try a braggot, 1/2 way between beer and mead.

My wife only worries about the cost. She says out of the kitchen when I am doing it and insists that I clean up the kitchen throughly afterward. Honey mess can be very sticky if you spill a little on the floor. So, I am thinking that my wife appreciates a clean kitchen when I am done. It works out. Unfortunately she is a diabetic and her medicine does not allow her to drink much at all. I bring my wares to parties we go to of freinds houses.
 
My wife actually bought me my brewing kit for my birthday one month ago, so she's supportive. She does heckle though, especially since I'm on this forum a lot (200+ posts in under 30 days! Wooo) and am ALWAYS looking for my next recipe. I'm also trying to figure out how I can make a large cabinet in our garage into a fermentation chamber / keg dispenser. When I make note of these things to her, she just keeps saying, "Remember, I'm student teaching for the next 5 months, that means no pay from me. Wait another year until you get that software engineering job." Hah.

I think I can wait that year, bottling my beers and fermenting in the guest bathtub with ice bottles, so that she can be more at ease.
 
shortyjacobs said:
My wife is only worried about the cost.

I tend to get into a new hobby and hit it big, then forget about it. Case-in-point, I took photography classes in college. I got done with them, and dropped 400 bucks on various darkroom equipment to build my own. I built a darkroom in my apartment, then we moved. I built it again in my townhome. I spent hours designing things, (mobile, quick disconnecting sinks, activated charcoal air filters, etc.), but in the end, only actually developed ONE ROLL OF FILM.

The darkroom stuff is on Craigslist now for $175. And once I get that money, guess where it's going? Into my brewing stuff. I've already invested a good $500, (carboys, kegs, fridge, turkey fryer, IC, etc), and have plans to go all grain, plumb the garage, etc....

She's just worried that, like the photography, and this summers' earlier project, (a free boat that quickly became very expensive), my interest will peak and fizzle.

It hasn't yet though! 3 batches under my belt, 1 already in the keggerator, Centennial Blonde, (extract), planned next....

My only problem is she can't stand my first batch...(it's green, and I effed up the batch...didn't crush the grains before steeping, so it's missing a lot of flavor and color).....and I've got to convince her that the money WILL pay out, and I WILL make good beer...sooner or later....I just hope the Honey Weizen and/or Porters work out.
Click to expand...

That is one expensive roll of pictures. I hope they were museum quality at least. :) Same story for cheese making with me. I didn't just try a mozzarella kit for $25 to see if I liked it. I bought the TWO largest kits they sold for about $100 apiece, then I bought a fridge specifically for aging cheese. $130. Then I bought new kitchen equipment for it. Another $100. I made three subpar batches of mozzarella, one cheddar that is aging all by itself in the cheese fridge, and a batch of camembert that got infested with bugs. Once I saw those bugs I never wanted to eat cheese again.

One of biggest, I'm talking HUGEST, mistakes that a new brewer can make is, in their enthusiasm for their new brewing hobby, they let their SWMBO try a green batch. It is their first taste of homebrew ever and it tastes like ass. They may come around but they will never forget that first taste of bad brew and you watch - every time you give her a new batch to taste from now on, she will kind of hold it at arm's length and get that 'do I have to' look on her face.
 
ThreeTaps said:
I think I can wait that year, bottling my beers and fermenting in the guest bathtub with ice bottles, so that she can be more at ease.
Click to expand...

Two words: Haier Nucool.

(an $80 fermentation chamber, well $120 with temp controller, but just forget to mention that part to the wife.)
 
ThreeTaps said:
My wife actually bought me my brewing kit for my birthday one month ago, so she's supportive. She does heckle though, especially since I'm on this forum a lot (200+ posts in under 30 days! Wooo) and am ALWAYS looking for my next recipe. I'm also trying to figure out how I can make a large cabinet in our garage into a fermentation chamber / keg dispenser. When I make note of these things to her, she just keeps saying, "Remember, I'm student teaching for the next 5 months, that means no pay from me. Wait another year until you get that software engineering job." Hah.

I think I can wait that year, bottling my beers and fermenting in the guest bathtub with ice bottles, so that she can be more at ease.
Click to expand...

my wife also bought me my first kit for christmas so she can't complaint too much :) Plus she's nearly the beer snob I am now! :) She complains, and rightfully so, when I leave beer equipment in the sink for a week or more after brew day :)
 
my wife is generally supportive of the brewing, although she does give me sh@# for the mess afterwards, even after I've already cleaned up!! however, no complaints whatsoever when it comes time to drink the beer-she's my biggest fan! to sweet? green? poor carbonation? poor head retention? she don't care. and, yes, she also drove me to the ER at midnight after my glass carboy incident. she's a good lady!
 
Since I'm a chef and do most of the cooking in our house and I basically built the kitchen by hand, I own it and my wife is just a guest, so even if she did want to say something about the mess she wouldn't. :)

But much more importantly, because I'm a chef and I basically built the kitchen by hand and spent a fortune on the appliances and counters and cabinets when I get done brewing that kitchen is so sparkling spotless clean you could, well . . . eat off of it. Just years of habit in a professional environment. Start clean. Work clean. Finish clean.
 
I have the agree with the other gentlemen's comments...
Mark your brewdates on the family calendar so to avoid confusion and overlapping of family plans. If your misses is anything like my lovely wife, she'll take the kid(s) out of the house while you are brewing so that you can fully concentrate on your brew. Less distractions from curious 5 yr olds definately makes better beer.
Also, be sure to support your wife in all of her hobbies as well. Make sure that she gets equal or slightly more hobby time to keep the household happy. My wife recently has gotten into making spagetti sauce, dill pickles and canning with our successful efforts in gardening this year. I make sure that our son stays out of her hair by taking him fishing, or out to my parent's farm. She gets some quiet time to enjoy her hobby and I get some bonding time with our son.

Redbeard5289
 
My wife bought me a Barley Crusher for my birthday last year, then in the fall she bought me my Sanyo. We both have hobbies and we both give each other time for those hobbies.

My brewing is not an issue with her.
 
Compared to driving race cars, brewing is the least of my wife's worries!:rockin:
 
My wife (married 21 yrs) is proud of my beers and supports my brewing. If we've got an party coming up, she'll even tell me I need to brew. Now my mother-in-law is mostly supportive, but doesn't fully understand the obsession. I'm her favorite son-in-law (of 3). Apparently one time she told my wife, who then of course told me (she wasn't suppposed to), that she thought I spent too much time brewing, and should spend more time cleaning. Our house is not the neatest (but better then the other 2 sisters) and the MIL wishes it was cleaner. My wife and I are about 50/50 with household chores.

Well, just last week we were having dinner with the MIL at her place and we were having what turned out to be very lovely chicken "pot pies" from Omaha steaks. So I said, "you know, it would be fun to make learn how to make these". So she says, "when do you have time? What are you going to give up?" So I stopped, looked her in the eye and said "CLEANING".

We ALL bust a gut! It was a good minute before it was comfortable to go back to eating. My wife was glad she wasn't drinking when I said it!
 
rrittenhouse said:
I have been happily married for 3 (going on 4) years now. I am 25 years old and I like to "make" things. I think part of this comes from me having an IT job and all of my work isn't on a tangible object, rather it's something virtual.

I'm a Ham Operator and I love working with electronics to "make" things. I also like to garden and grow things. Now I am wanting to start the brewing hobby to see if I'm successful at it and if I like it or not. The wife has heckled me about each and every hobby I take up.

Do any of you guys experience this or am I alone here? :D
Click to expand...

Not only are you not alone, I suspect you are really me! I'm also IT, like building things, growing, HAM, etc. My wife also picks on me about my hobbies, but I've managed to hold back on most of them. The trick is to seem interested in so many new ones, that it APPEARS that you don't have that many you are actually doing.

Also remain active in the family life and kids if you have any (But since you are really me, I'm betting you have 2.)
 
On a second marriage here and only been married a little over 2 years. SWMBO gave me a Coopers kit Xmas of '07. She now jokingly complains that I didn't quit after a couple of batches like her father did years ago when she gave him one. She has however, referenced alcoholism on a couple of occasions. But her family is rife with alcoholics, so she is super sensitized. Now she knows it's a good half day where I'm unavailable for other things. I get the garage and half the driveway to myself. In return, I keep one of the 3 taps with something I know she likes. Heck, after I made the kegerator, she said it was so nice and looked so good, it should go in the house!?!

All told I have invested around $2000 in equipment for this hobby so far. All the major items are done. Now it's just revision (converting ferm chamber from ice to refrigeration scavenged from milk dispenser) or updating.
 
I bought one of those Bayou Classic burners so I could boil in the garage. Best brewing investment I ever made. My wife objected to the smell and even though I liked it, I have to say that it did penetrate every crevice of the house and hang around for quite a while.

Last night I was bottling and left the bottling wand sit in an empty bottle while I did something else. A few minutes later I see beer dripping onto the floor. The wand was pressed just enough to let beer run out. So I ended up drinking a bottle of unconditioned APA and cleaning up a big mess on the counter and floor. The house smelled like my fraternity bar room from 30 years ago but she knew I would clean it all up and after opening the windows for a half hour so, the smell was gone and she was happy. She knows how to put up with me.

Married for 26 years and the sex is still great :ban:
 
My wife loves beer, although its mostly wheats or light body beers but hey at least I still get to brew and I only have to do a few batches for her. She did have one small problem with my brewing in the kitchen, I nipped a bag of DME and it poured all over her new flat top ceramic stove. Oh yeah, it was bad. Big puff of smoke and that stuff instantly melted into this thick putty like goo. Brewing was ceased. I couldn't even say the word "beer" without getting "that" look from her. So what did I do you ask? I put in a 20 X 12 brew shed, aka Da Man Cave. All is right in the world once again!
 
after 28 years I can effectively block out my wifes voice. I can do it without even thinking about it, till she smacks me upside the head and say's get your hearing looked at.


This hobby is cheap compared to my others. And she knows where I am so she don't complain that much. And she likes some of my beers.
 

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