Why does this bother me?

I have a friend that I have been brewing with quite a bit for the last year and a half. I have a 1bbl system so I let him in for half of a batch about every other brew day. This way I get to brew more often and he gets to brew as well. It actually works out good and I enjoy it. What bothers me is that lately, he has been bring over people for brewery tours to see "OUR" brewery. I don't mind the tours as I always welcome beer discussion and love to see the look on peoples faces (especially BMC drinkers) when they try my homebrew. What bothers me is that he tells everyone that it's our brewery even though he didn't purchase or help fabricate one single piece of equipment (although a friend of his did donate the kegerator when he moved out of town). He buys his own ingredients and pitches in on sanitizer/utilites, but that's it. Now I know it's not that big of a deal and I haven't called him out on it, but it still erks me. If I was brewing on a friends rig and took someone over to see it, I don't think I would refer to it as ours. Our beer perhaps, but not our brewery. Thoughts?

I don't know... I guess I could see how it urks you, but I would love to have a friend who enjoyed the brewing process and split batches with me. I would say most of your guests see that it's in your house, and since it's there, and since you know what your doing more than he does, they probably naturally assume it's yours and don't actually think that you two "own" everything together. I guess it would bother me too if I spent a ton of time buying and building for someone else to take credit, but I can also see it from the perspective that you have a friend who enjoys this hobby with you, and that in itself is pretty awesome. I would try to focus on the positive.

And that's why I haven't said anything. I don't want to spoil it for him and I do enjoy having someone to brew with.

Of course when he gives those tours, you could gladly give a little more history of the brewery, like "when I bought this... and when I built this..."

Everyone is always immediately taken in by the huge kettles and don't really pay much attention to anything else.

BBL_Brewer said:

Everyone is always immediately taken in by the huge kettles and don't really pay much attention to anything else.

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sounds like guys and a well endowed woman.....:cross:

I get irked pretty easily by stuff like this also. It's that indescribable level of respect that I feel every man should understand and adhere to. I'd talk to him about it. I get pretty peeved the minute I notice that someone has become too comfortable with my taps and put an end to it right away.

You can gently "correct" him like JtheB suggested. "Those kettles? I got a great deal on these and after I bought them, I got this and that. It was kinda hard to put all this together, but I'm glad to have a brew day partner these days."

My brother is the same way. He likes to call my rig our rig. erks my wife more than me because she knows all the research money and labor I have put into brewing and he rides my coat tails even though he hasn't even offered suggestions to the setup.

I just do what others have suggested here. Casually correct him when he takes credit and sneak in that it is my brain child not his. I have never blatantly called him out. Ha the wife has been close a few times though.

I encourage my friends to treat my system like it's theirs, aside from modifying it permanently. One friend came over and kept asking permission to use each component or tool (mash paddle, liquid level stick, etc). I snapped at him (with a friendly tone), "it's your f-ing brewery, do what you got to do." If he was showing off stuff, I don't think I would mind it too much if he referred to it as "ours". Personally I like having a friend around to brew with, so even if something like that were irritating to me, I would probably just let it go. My schedule limits how much I brew, so as long as my system is producing beer, I'm happy. OP's situation may differ from mine though.

Kind of off topic, but the guy wont even take credit for beers we brew together, since I came up with the recipe and bought the grain. Helping to lift a full mash tun or boil kettle is more than enough to warrant co-brewer credits IMO.

Does he have his own brew rig? I'd think about it like living in an apartment, you don't own the apartment, you rent it, but you live in it, store your stuff in it, and pay the utilities for it. Some one else owns it but everyone who lives in an apartment calls it their apartment. If a friend comes to visits you and doesn't live their and proclaims that it is his and your apartment that is weird but if he lives there with you even if he didn't buy the kitchen table it kinda is his apartment too. So...he is not exactly renting your rig but if he is throwing in on the utilities and using what is definitely YOUR rig solely to brew beer, I don't think it is 100% improper for him to refer to as OUR rig. Anyhow kudos to you sharing your brewery with your buddy and allowing brewery tours.

All valid points. Thanks guys. I think Airborneguy nailed it. I guess I percieved it as a breach of respect. But, he has definitely caught the brewing bug and is very proud to be a part of the process, so I'll just shrug it off and let it go.

Bring up a topic on the next brewday: "What additions would you be interested in making to OUR brewery?" That way, you can discuss the issue, and give him a chance to buy into at least one small part of the rig. Throw it around some, so it's something you're just as interested in adding to the setup, and let him pay for/fab it. Then you'll both be invested in it, and he can be justified in how he refers to it.

djfriesen said:

Bring up a topic on the next brewday: "What additions would you be interested in making to OUR brewery?" That way, you can discuss the issue, and give him a chance to buy into at least one small part of the rig. Throw it around some, so it's something you're just as interested in adding to the setup, and let him pay for/fab it. Then you'll both be invested in it, and he can be justified in how he refers to it.

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I have been pining away for a conical or 2

Eh, next time it happens just describe certain parts as "My Kettle", or "My Wort Chiller".

And refer to your friend as "My Little Brew Buddy"...

Something like this would irk the crap out of me. I dont know if you need to correct it, though, because I think you feel a bit better just knowing you arent crazy. Amiright?

Homercidal said:

Eh, next time it happens just describe certain parts as "My Kettle", or "My Wort Chiller".

And refer to your friend as "My Little Brew Buddy"...

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That would actually be pretty funny since he dwarfs me. He's like 6' 6" and 280 lbs. I have to take out one of the light bulbs in the basement when we brew because he has a habbit of running his head into it. I got tired of only getting a couple months out of a CFL.

BBL_Brewer said:

That would actually be pretty funny since he dwarfs me. He's like 6' 6" and 280 lbs. I have to take out one of the light bulbs in the basement when we brew because he has a habbit of running his head into it. I got tired of only getting a couple months out of a CFL.

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LOL! In that case, you HAVE to!

Wrong battle. Let it go if you otherwise enjoy having him around.

it's when the tours are occurring, right? So just set them straight by injecting this in the conversation "I love having "Bob" over to brew on my equipment...."