Best News Headlines

I often come across hilarious headlines while wasting time at work or at home. Can you beat this?


Philly Weatherman Who Got Roofied And Robbed By Latvian Escorts Allegedly **** His Pants

FTW!

That is unbeatable!

camel toads. you guys make me . i have nothing further

Poll: Congress less popular than cockroaches, Nickelback


http://www.wandtv.com/story/20547812/poll-congress-less-popular-than-cockroaches-nickelback

Gordon Ramsay's Dwarf Porn Double Found Dead in a Badger Den in Wales
http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/ne...ger-den-in-wales/story-e6frev20-1226137951576

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EDIT: looks like that story has been taken down. it's still here, tho: http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/09/gordon-ramsay-dwarf-porn-double-found-dead-badger-set/

My favorite was a printing error. The headline was supposed to say "Thompson's pen is a sword." A crease in the paper eliminated the space between "pen" and "is."

Made for a disturbing image of our governor.

Here's one:

TyTanium said:

Here's one:

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I'm trying to keep it together... I almost put my coffee cup to my lips and did a spit-take... if I had read this 30 seconds later I would have.

Grammatical error AND unintentional innuendo.

Hooters theft ends up with a big surprise for a couple of boobs

http://m.now.msn.com/jukebox-not-atm-stolen-from-san-diego-hooters

The two young thieves who broke into a San Diego Hooters used a truck with a tow strap to wrench what they likely thought was an ATM machine out of the lobby of the chain breastaraunt. But when they got the free-standing machine home, they were probably sad to see it wasn't stuffed with stacks of bills. Instead, it was full of the greatest hits of the ‘80s and ‘90s, because they stole the Hooter’s juke box. Police are pretty sure the thieves thought it was an ATM. (Because thanks to mp3 players, unless you’re an uncle with a billiards room you don’t need a jukebox.) Sucks to be you, dummies! Enjoy the Lynyrd Skynyrd.

interestingly, there are no canolas in nature. Canola is a word made up to replace its prior name "rape-seed"

I seldom cook with canola or rapeseed oil. Doesnt seem right.

Sorry - no photo on this one, but a classic from my childhood...

"Problem with teenage sex is mounting"

Penguins Summon Satan


http://www.cbc.ca/sports/hockey/story/2009/04/10/sp-penguins-satan.html

HoppyDaze said:

Naked Florida Man, Threatens Cops On Facebook Then Tasers Officer

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You could pretty much make a live feed from Florida Man on Twitter.

You blew my cover!

Pennsylvania Man Caught Naked in Hog Barn Drunk on Hamm’s Beer
Key Quote: "Asked by police to explain his presence in the barn, Henry said, 'I just like pigs.'"

Famous last words:

m_c_zero said:

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Been a news helicopter pilot for eight years and this was my first chase. They just don't happen, or last that long here unlike SoCal.

^ somewhat

"Women's Football - Minus Lingerie" - so they're playing completely naked except for pads, helmets and shoes???

sweetcell said:

^ somewhat

"Women's Football - Minus Lingerie" - so they're playing completely naked except for pads, helmets and shoes???

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Maybe its just womens football. normal style. Basically lingere league without the revealing uniforms and instead jerseys and real pants. In other words. No one is going to watch it.

Here are a couple

Shameless plug but I feel the need to post this article that was written about me recently:
Homebrewer Awakes from a Coma Only to Worry About His Beer