I guess I'm a drug dealer now?!

Qhrumphf said:

Bring over some ziplock bags full of corn sugar, DME, whole hops and clear rock Belgian candi sugar. Offer to sell them some.

:rockin:

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Now THAT'S FUNNY!!!

They are just lonely, paranoid folks with no friends. Sad, really.

You should give them a "How to know if your neighbors are making meth" pamphlet. That way they can easily spot the differences between a meth lab and a homebrewing system.

I'd still invite the police over so the neighbors can see that you and the police are ok with what you are doing.

Qhrumphf said:

Bring over some ziplock bags full of corn sugar, DME, whole hops and clear rock Belgian candi sugar. Offer to sell them some.

:rockin:

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Best idea. Hands down.

SittingDuck said:

Right, so then you can blare the music and brew nekkid. In fact, you need to start faking some cult ceremony at least once a month.

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This is exactly what I was thinking!

I like the idea of inviting the police over when you're brewing. Get the grill out, throw some burgers on it, and tell the dispatcher that if any on duty officer wants to stop by for a free burger, they can do so. When your neighbor sees the steady flow of cops, they'll think you're selling drugs to the cops.

Are you married or live with a woman? Even a roommate? My landlord had a habit of walking into the apartment to check the thermastats, and finally I reasoned "if I came into your house while Mrs. S******* was undressed, I think you would probably hit me. Thats what you did last week, even if you dont realize it." It worked.

I'm all for deescalating problems before they get out of hand, but if its war they want, let the PD know that the people next door have been peering through your fence, and your windows by proxy, while SWMBO was just out of the shower. You dont KNOW that they were looking at her, and you dont care, its still unacceptable.

Unless you have a real crap PD I suspect the behavior would stop quickly.

Also, kudos to my fellow brewers, winemakers and mazers for being so rational. This is the kind of thing where people usually get hot-headed advice online.

I say fork 'em!

No. That is NOT a way around a chat filter. Plastic forks are VERY cheap. Buy a box of 1000 per friend that you can get to help you. Then about 3:40am, dressed in black like ninjas, crawl across the lawn while sticking forks, tines down, all over the place. 10,000 is good but more is better.

FACT: Plastic forks make dangerous shards when ran over with a lawn mower and a helleva noise and they do not biodegrade. This means they will have to pull them all out themselves by hand this is back destroying labor unless they crawl across the lawn and the idea is there was more of you than them.

After the mess is all cleaned up, stop by and tell them that they need to stop forking spying on you through the fence and spreading lies, unless they really like forking with you in which case you would be happy to service them as needed.

Then in the next moment when they look like they are about to explode tell them that you make beer and hand them a bucket of chicken and a homebrew and to mind their own forking business...

homebeerbrewer said:

I like the idea of inviting the police over when you're brewing. Get the grill out, throw some burgers on it, and tell the dispatcher that if any on duty officer wants to stop by for a free burger, they can do so. When your neighbor sees the steady flow of cops, they'll think you're selling drugs to the cops.

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This is a good idea, if you actually liked PO. Personally I can't stand any of the PO I have ever met let alone the ones in my town so I would go to war with the neighbors.

i.e. report them as peeping toms on the kiddies. even if I didn't have kids.
Order weird magazine subscriptions. like real weird stuff. plant it in their yard.
put those little jacks all over their yard.
weed killer their entire lawn.

If their doors swing out, screw a 2x4 to the frame of their house at the bottom of the door so it won't open.

Luckily, most of my neighbors have never pissed me off and I'm cool with them all. Otherwise. WAR!!

I'm loving this thread - I'm about to move in with SWMBO and set up the big outdoor brew rig on the back parking slab. I've met most of the neighbors and they all seem really nice (the one right next to the parking slab even has an enormous raspberry patch and maybe she'll contribute to a raspberry wheat?) but part of me kinda wants to see if other neighbors start the "meth lab" rumor about the new guy.

To the OP:

You've done pretty much everything reasonable that you can. You've tried talking with the neighbors and even speaking with the police. It's time to just move on. If they don't like you're brewing, too bad. You're not breaking the law and there is nothing they can do about it. Just relax and enjoy your brew days.

I thought you were going to go down the Moe Szyslak route "BAM! the 'ol fork in the eye!"


I say just ignore them...and patch anywhere in your fence that they can look through. Some razor wire wouldn't hurt either.

Sounds like they broke at least two laws by invading your privacy and then spreading false and malicious rumors.

You're putting your hop trellis on that side of the yard, right?

If I saw my neighbors peeking through the fence I'd ask if there was something I could do for them. If they ran off from the fence I'd come knock on the door and politely confront them. Let them know I don't appreciate being spied on and if they are curious about what I'm doing I would be happy to show them.

However if I found out they were spreading rumors that I was making meth I'd be a lot less civil by that point. I'd invite other neighbors over for a party and show them the equipment and give them beer so they know the truth.

If you really wanted to let them know what's up, when you see them at the fence, just water the yard by the fence at high pressure and accidentally spray too high up.

ScoRas said:

Sounds like they broke at least two laws by invading your privacy and then spreading false and malicious rumors.

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No invasion of privacy if they can see what you're doing outdoors. Even if they rented a helicopter and watched you from the sky.

Here's what I dont understand... I live in NYC, and have worked in just about every part of Manhattan. I know what most drugs look like, and what many of them smell like.

Even with that said, if I knew absolutely nothing about what brewers do and I noticed that the nextdoor neighbor had a large kettle on his stove or going in his garage I wouldnt think "meth lab" Id think "Crab boil?" or "frying a turkey where its safe?"

I think there is still hope for me now that I know that someone who has not been living in NYC for 10 years is considerably more paranoid than I am.

you should wait at their peephole spread for action, so when they look through, they get a nice shot of the brown eye. Seriously - it sounds like you are screwed, so at this point you may as well actually cook meth. get their kids hooked and then they will have so many worries, they won't care what their neighbor does.

CreamyGoodness said:

Here's what I dont understand... I live in NYC, and have worked in just about every part of Manhattan. I know what most drugs look like, and what many of them smell like.

Even with that said, if I knew absolutely nothing about what brewers do and I noticed that the nextdoor neighbor had a large kettle on his stove or going in his garage I wouldnt think "meth lab" Id think "Crab boil?" or "frying a turkey where its safe?"

I think there is still hope for me now that I know that someone who has not been living in NYC for 10 years is considerably more paranoid than I am.

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Those things don't use a coil of copper wire.

I doubt a boiling pot of anything is going to make people think of meth.

But honestly, the real bottom line is that anyone would have to be retarded to think someone would cook meth out in their back yard. "Oh, hey, I just wanted you guys to know that I'm going to be cooking up up some meth this morning, so you might want to stay indoors. It smells pretty bad and the fumes are toxic. K thanks!"

Jaysus said:

You're putting your hop trellis on that side of the yard, right?

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Awesome!!

whahaahha!! here in south africa there is NO homebrew culture, I was thinking the other day when this will happen to me.- big pot, -funny green stuff. they wount believe me when i tell them!

jy?

Gustavo said:

Well, I tried talking to them today and the guy just ignored me and went inside. I had the opportunity to talk to the local PD. The officer laughed and said. Yup you in fact have some nosy neighbors. They call the PD at least once a week about suspicious activity. Guess I'm stuck

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At least the local PD sounds reasonable, and at least one of them is now aware of what you're really up to.

Sorry to here about the crap neighbors though...

CreamyGoodness said:

jy?

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oops, (i am afrikaans speaking) "jy" means "you" but its a typo anyway

Well you ARE making drugs. Just a legal drug. Tell em you're making drugs and to come over if they want any.

Dan said:

Invite them for a homebrew, explain what you're doing and they'll change from suspicious to groupies.

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Do you really want nosy, gossiping jizz bags as friends?

In the "old" days, when you bought and moved into a house, you would have a party and invite all of the neighbors. That gives them all a chance to meet you, and for you to talk and show them your brew setup and to sample the results. Who knows, you might also find a few interested in joining you in brewing.

Another good practice: I sometimes have a spring party at my house. Last year there were over 50 people and their cars. I make sure I invite the neighbors.

In the same frame as copyright, when SWMBO and I moved in, we made paper plates of homemade cookies and brought them to our immediate neighbors. Worked swimmingly. Sounds like these dunderheads didnt give OP a chance to do anything like that, however.

landshark said:

This is a good idea, if you actually liked PO. Personally I can't stand any of the PO I have ever met let alone the ones in my town so I would go to war with the neighbors.
...

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Which would you rather have? Cops that come over and ask you what you're doing? Or cops that come over for free burgers, and shoot the **** while you brew? I'd rather have the latter. Get on the cops good side, and if you ever need them, they'll do everything they can to help. Get on their bad side, and they'll be looking for you to F up.

I'm wondering if the reason you've never met a cop you like is because you gave them a reason to not like you. Cops are people too, and first impressions always leave a mark. You give them an attitude, and they'll remember that the next time they meet you. You invite them over for lunch, and they'll remember that too.

My first girlfriend was (well she still is, haha) South African, though neither her nor her mother spoke Afrikaans. Redheaded, Jewish South African girl, I'm lucky to be alive really.

DannyD said:

oops, (i am afrikaans speaking) "jy" means "you" but its a typo anyway

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Yeah all this, try to make friends talk is ridiculous. These people are fools plain and simple. Good thing you tried to talk to the police before the neighbors had them convinced to talk to you.

When I'm brewing (always in the driveway) I make a point to wave and greet any person who might be walking by just so they don't think I'm trying to hide what I'm doing. As if I could hide a 10 gallon orange cooler and a 15 gallon keg sitting on a roaring burner in the middle of my driveway.

I'm lucky with some of my neighbors though. During my first all grain batch my immediate neighbors saw my friend and I frantically moving buckets around and came over to ask if my basement was flooding and if we needed help HAHA. I told them I was brewing and they said "oh we have a friend who does that!"

When I first set up everything in the shed outside to start homebrewing, my wife joked to me "Looks like we're running a meth lab". Funny this actually happened.

I started kind of worrying a bit, but once I realized the old man across the street from me was smoking weed on his porch late at night, I stopped worrying about getting a visit from the cops and having to explain to them. Not that I'm doing anything wrong, but that's a hassle I'd want to avoid.

ao125 said:

I'd start brewing while wearing a gas mask, Breaking Bad style

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Ha ha, good one. Don't forget the yellow HAZMAT suits and rubber gloves.

The kid in me says to have fun with it and play with them for a while.

The adult in me says to have a house warming party and invite them over. For meth.

Or you can rock Dr. Horrible attire.

When the wind is just right, light a few hop pellets and walk around with a hand rolled cig.
Smells a lot like pot!

ReverseApacheMaster said:

No invasion of privacy if they can see what you're doing outdoors. Even if they rented a helicopter and watched you from the sky.

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I thought that the fence demonstrated a reasonable expectation of privacy, and that stepping on the property to look through the holes would be invading that.

homebeerbrewer said:

Which would you rather have? Cops that come over and ask you what you're doing? Or cops that come over for free burgers, and shoot the **** while you brew? I'd rather have the latter. Get on the cops good side, and if you ever need them, they'll do everything they can to help. Get on their bad side, and they'll be looking for you to F up.

I'm wondering if the reason you've never met a cop you like is because you gave them a reason to not like you. Cops are people too, and first impressions always leave a mark. You give them an attitude, and they'll remember that the next time they meet you. You invite them over for lunch, and they'll remember that too.

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So, one is expected to essentially buy good service from cops? I thought our tax dollars already did that. I'll be personable with officers in social situations. But, when they're on the clock, I shouldn't have to feel like I need to suck up to them to not be hassled for doing something legal.

Jaysus said:

You're putting your hop trellis on that side of the yard, right?

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That's exactly what I am planning with my neighbors. I just started brewing this year, but have always had problems with the coming out to stare at us every time we are in the backyard playing or swimming in the pool. Tried the neighborly thing with them the first couple years, inviting them over etc. But after a while stuff like them telling us the cherries on our tree belong to everyone since it is in the front and them intentionally walking their dog to our roses to urinate we kinda gave up on that. Can't imagine what they'll do when I start brewing outside this summer.

downtown3641 said:

So, one is expected to essentially buy good service from cops? I thought our tax dollars already did that. I'll be personable with officers in social situations. But, when they're on the clock, I shouldn't have to feel like I need to suck up to them to not be hassled for doing something legal.

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Gee, I just thought it was common sense to be friendly with people who might shoot you if they don't like you. Besides which, you have some cops over for beer & burgers and they probably will look the other way next time they catch you speeding or blowing through a stop sign, etc.

As far as giving these people a beer, i would venture a wild guess to say those type of ppl prolly don't even drink beer.