You might be on the toilet but you're still in public

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schneemann

schneemann

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2008
Messages
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Location
AA County, MD
My rant for the day:


Man, what's with some of you people?
This is a huge federal agency. This is a professional atmosphere for God's sake.

Stop grunting like you're having a baby and stop shouting like you're at a black southern baptist church. Its a turd not a basketball. If your ass hurts that much from crapping, try getting more fiber in your diet.

HAVEN'T ANY OF YOU MOTHERF***ERS EVER HEARD OF A "COURTESY FLUSH"?!?!

Just because you're in the bathroom doesn't mean you're not in public anymore. Show some F**KING respect for those around you!
 
schneemann said:
HAVEN'T ANY OF YOU MOTHERF***ERS EVER HEARD OF A "COURTESY FLUSH"?!?!

Just because you're in the bathroom doesn't mean you're not in public anymore. Show some F**KING respect for those around you!
Click to expand...

Be Nice,
Flush Twice


I really don't need to see your poop crumbs first thing when I walk into a stall.
 
The last hotel room I was in had the bathroom situated where you could sit and see the flat screen TV. The remote worked from that distance as well.

Awesome!!! :D
 
EdWort said:
The last hotel room I was in had the bathroom situated where you could sit and see the flat screen TV. The remote worked from that distance as well.

Awesome!!! :D
Click to expand...

maybe not so awesome when you realize the person before you might have had the same plans for that remote you're holding!
 
EdWort said:
The last hotel room I was in had the bathroom situated where you could sit and see the flat screen TV. The remote worked from that distance as well.

Awesome!!! :D
Click to expand...

Sounds like paradise! :mug:


Edit:
KingBrianI said:
maybe not so awesome when you realize the person before you might have had the same plans for that remote you're holding!
Click to expand...

Crap, not paradise anymore. Thanks, King! :D
 
url


luxury%20bathroom.jpg




Here is some more bathroom tech!
 
I hate it when people talk on their cell phones on the toilet.

It's bad enough I have to hear you pooping (which I can deal with, it is a bathroom after all), but now I have to hear one half of your asinine conversation as well?
 
I was waiting for a Senator joke.
Click to expand...

Or perhaps some tidbit from the LBJ years?

Johnson often shocked official Washington with his public displays of cruelty to his aides. He once publicly addressed his press secretary, George Reedy, as "you stupid son of a *****." The most loyal member of Johnson's staff was jack Valenti, about whom it was said, "If LBJ dropped the H-bomb, Valenti would call it an urban renewal project." The loyalty only seemed to invite Johnson's humiliating public rages. On one occasion he shouted, "I thought I told you, Jack, to fix this ****ing doorknob!" Once when Valenti walked into the Oval Office, he was greeted with "Where the goddam hell ya been? How many times have I got to tell you not to leave your desk without telling me where you're going?" The President's discourtesy was extended even to low-ranking White House employees. In May of 1964, a minor secretary with a messy desk got a note from the President: "Get this desk cleaned up right away or else I'll come back tonight and do it myself." Johnson also upset aides with his habit of adjourning a conversation to the bathroom when the need arose. Those who were reluctant to follow him to the toilet were a source of great amusement to him. He frequently recounted a story about "one of the delicate Kennedyites who came into the bathroom with me and then found it utterly impossible to look at me while I sat there on the toilet. You'd think he had never seen those parts of the body before. For there he was, standing as far away from me as he possibly could, keeping his back toward me the whole time, trying to carry on a conversation. I could barely hear a word he said. I kept straining my ears and then finally I asked him to come a little closer to me. Then began the most ludicrous scene I had ever witnessed. Instead of simply turning around and walking over to me, he kept his face away from me and walked backward, one rickety step at a time. For a moment there I thought he was going to run right into me. It certainly made me wonder how that man had made it so far in the world."
Click to expand...
 
schneemann said:
My rant for the day:


Man, what's with some of you people?
This is a huge federal agency. This is a professional atmosphere for God's sake.

Stop grunting like you're having a baby and stop shouting like you're at a black southern baptist church. Its a turd not a basketball. If your ass hurts that much from crapping, try getting more fiber in your diet.

HAVEN'T ANY OF YOU MOTHERF***ERS EVER HEARD OF A "COURTESY FLUSH"?!?!

Just because you're in the bathroom doesn't mean you're not in public anymore. Show some F**KING respect for those around you!
Click to expand...

I work in a lab where the majority are PhD's, etc. Not that they are better than anyone, that's not my point. These are supposed to be well learned, professional people. You wouldn't believe the amount of times I see people's crap in the toilet, stains on the seat, water left running, and yes folks even graffiti. Go figure.
 
zoebisch01 said:
I work in a lab where the majority are PhD's, etc. Not that they are better than anyone, that's not my point. These are supposed to be well learned, professional people. You wouldn't believe the amount of times I see people's crap in the toilet, stains on the seat, water left running, and yes folks even graffiti. Go figure.
Click to expand...


+10!

I work with very well (sometimes overly) educated people, and our building maintenance has had to put up signs in EACH stall (obviously, I'm a girl, we have lots of stalls) to please manually flush if the auto-flusher does not dispose of your "goods."

It's a turd, not a cherished object. Flush them b*tches down!
 
How hard is it to flush a turd, or a urinal full of p!ss? I often say at my job " How can we expect submarine crews to safely operate in hostile environments, when we can't even get them to flush a toilet?" Better yet, don't you hate watching the person who uses the facilities then walks out the door without washing their hands?
 
This thread made me think of this:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qzvvfnqo63w&feature=related]YouTube - biggest crap ever! hi-def[/ame]

One of the best SP episodes ever.
 
I'm still trying to figure out how folks manage to spray urine to the left and the right (sometimes even above) the urinal in our office. Are ya trying to put out a fire?

And to those guys in my office who manage to leave a puddle on the floor... If ya got a short bat, stand closer to the plate.

...idiots.
 
McKBrew said:
How hard is it to flush a turd, or a urinal full of p!ss? I often say at my job " How can we expect submarine crews to safely operate in hostile environments, when we can't even get them to flush a toilet?" Better yet, don't you hate watching the person who uses the facilities then walks out the door without washing their hands?
Click to expand...
'

That one always squicks me out. Listen, I may have to touch the stuff your handling, you may not mind, but I do.

The best (worst) was when I was standing at the urinal minding my own business, and my bosses boss comes up to the urinal next to me, and pats me on the back.

Him: Hey, hows it going?
Me: uh...yeah, just going fine...

<quick exit>
 
We get a lot of new foreign graduate students each fall, and up go the signs in the women's bathrooms (according to my wife) to please not STAND ON THE TOILET. This still amazes me. These are the cream of the crop, coming here to earn an advanced degree, yet they don't have the common sense to see that our toilets are obviously not designed to stand on. I can't even imagine trying as a guy.

I believe the Japanese have sound cancelling toilets, or at least ones that generate their own noise to cover up any bodily noise. Perfume too on demand!
 
Fart fart fart...

Ratta tat tat

Fart Fart

crackle...fsssst...crackle...........PLOP

PLOP....PLOP.PLOP.PLOP.

frrrrrrrrrrrrrtttttttt....

putputputputput

PLOP.

flush...


Flush.
 
Ego Archive said:
'

That one always squicks me out. Listen, I may have to touch the stuff your handling, you may not mind, but I do.

The best (worst) was when I was standing at the urinal minding my own business, and my bosses boss comes up to the urinal next to me, and pats me on the back.
Click to expand...

Reminds me of this video

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VHrNo_658I]YouTube - beer drinkers[/ame]
 
AHAHA

I eat daves insanity every day on random ****, it works way better than fiber.

Sometimes I will be laughing outloud because of the high fart to poo ratio, sounds like a pigeon is trying to fly away in the stall.:ban:
 
McKBrew said:
How hard is it to flush a turd, or a urinal full of p!ss? I often say at my job " How can we expect submarine crews to safely operate in hostile environments, when we can't even get them to flush a toilet?" Better yet, don't you hate watching the person who uses the facilities then walks out the door without washing their hands?
Click to expand...
Man, the not washing thing freaks me out. I once saw the athletic director of a major school -- big time, major school -- walk out of the bathroom without washing his hands. I couldn't shake his hand after that.

Just as well. I didn't like him anyway.;)
 
shecky said:
Man, the not washing thing freaks me out. I once saw the athletic director of a major school -- big time, major school -- walk out of the bathroom without washing his hands. I couldn't shake his hand after that.

Just as well. I didn't like him anyway.;)
Click to expand...

That's no joke!!! I once had a boss who did this right before the company BBQ and he was serving. I got in a different line!!!
 
In staggers Teddy Bloat with Pirate's blanket over his head, slips on a banana peel and falls on his ass. "Kill myself," he mumbles.

(from Gravity's Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon)
 
McKBrew said:
How hard is it to flush a turd, or a urinal full of p!ss? I often say at my job " How can we expect submarine crews to safely operate in hostile environments, when we can't even get them to flush a toilet?" Better yet, don't you hate watching the person who uses the facilities then walks out the door without washing their hands?
Click to expand...
I don't know who trained your sub crew, but can assure you every one of the crews, nay boats my father was on flushed and didn't spray the toilet. And they always washed their hands (he had some paranoid Cobs let me tell you).

My favorite memory of Spring Break was the day trip to Morocco where the stuck up brats with me had to not only use the hole in the ground at the ferry terminal but tip the attendant for the pleasure of TP. :mug:
 
I have to admit that I don't wash my hands after I piss. My piece is probably cleaner than any surface I'm going to come into contact with at any point in a day.
If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown send it down.
 
I used to work at a place that was fairly formal and had a lot of educated people. Keep in mind I said educated and not "intelligent." It was just about guaranteed that every day someone would leave a toilet full of paper and crap. At least once a week they clogged one up also. That's in addition to the inability to hit the urinals by some. I can't help but wonder if they piss on the floor at home, too. My bet is that they don't.

I was in Target yesterday and one of the employees came into the restroom, whizzed, and promptly left, omitting the "hand washing" part. Bleh.

Here's a flash game on the topic of etiquette:
GameScene Free Online Games: The Urinal Game
 

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