SWMBO being COMPLETELY unreasonable

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CreamyGoodness

CreamyGoodness

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Need a little support here, someone to tell me I was right. So, after making a lovely (read: cheap) pork shoulder into crock-pot pulled pork, I was left with a large shoulder bone. Awesome!

So my plan was to get a bunch of these together over the span of a year and make a long string of shoulder bones tied together with twine for the front balcony.

The other day, SWMBO decides she is going to clean up THE MAN ROOM, and I hear a shriek. Crap. So I ask, "did you hurt yourself?"

"Noooooo... James... what the *deleted* is THIS?!"

"Why, sweetheart, its just a pork bone bleaching in hydrogen peroxide!"

*closes eyes, touches the bridge of her nose*

"Ok... I shouldn't have asked that like that... what I should have asked is WHY THE *rudies* IS THERE A WHITE MEAT BONE IN MY TUPPERWARE ON A BOOKSHELF IN THE GUEST ROOM??!"

"...MAN room"

"NO! DAMMIT JAMES... sigh... my mother is sleeping in this room next weekend..."

"Like she'd ever know..."

"Oh My God... can't believe I'm discussing this. James... what are you doing with a white meat bone? Why would you possibly need this?? And what's the crap floating on the top of the peroxide??"

"Fat from the marrow I think..."

*gags* "Throw it away!!"

"No, Im keeping it for Halloween"

"Almost a year from now?!"

"... yeah?"

After more back and forth I decided there was only one unbiased party I could turn to. My father. He was no help. I'm very disappointed in him.

In the end... she won. The bone I had spent literally weeks bleaching is now in a landfill. There is no justice domestically.

*sigh* it will pass.
 
solved:

605.jpg
 
Wow, that is hysterical. Creamy, your house must be a laff riot a minute.

Actually, you sound a little like my dad. I can't tell you how many times I came home as a kid to find some random animal skull, bone, etc. on the counter. When I was ten, it was the best thing in the world. One time, he even found a dead falcon by the side of the road (hit by a car) and brought it home in a plastic bag. We thought it was so awesome! My mom did not.
 
While I think that is a fine idea. I would have opted to use a glass jar with lid and tuck them away under a bed or something...

Women do not like anything even remotely "nasty" in the house but what she don't know wont' hurt her. Your downfall was using her tupperware...big no no. I once used SWMBO's baking dish as a drain pan for the car...i never heard the end of that one.
 
See the problem is that you are going about it all wrong. First thing you need to do is go down to the pond and get yourself some frogs, maybe at different stages in their life cycle. After you get some of those you need to get some embalming fluid and mason jars (which I am sure you already own). Now I am sure you know what to do with these. Prop them up on said shelf and wait..... After she discovers them in disgust offer to replace them with a less disgusting option. A bleached pork bone perhaps. If that does not work see above post involving slap a *****.
 
Dude, my wife doesn't even question anymore some of the stuff I do. I have skulls, bones, skins, feathers, antlers, etc.
I have stuff fermenting, aging, waiting and 'acquiring a patina'.
I just wore her down with persistance and after the kids were moved out we each took over our own rooms.
I don't question her about things in her "Fairy" room and she don"t question about things in my "Old Fart's Room".
 
I think in all my years here we may for the first time have come closest to the sheer awesomeness that was the porch couch rant. I'm going to give this a 9 outta 10. It may have tied or even beat said post......had you been druck when posting this.

But, but but.....You have achieved near greatness.....

legendary_thread.jpg
 
Creamy, couldn't you have told her it was for a new kind of mead? With all the other science experiments you've got going, I'm betting she would have bought it...
 
Well, there's only one thing to do. Start pretending to search around the house, when she asks what you're looking for, act startled and say "nothing!" and then when she's in earshot, pretend to be on the phone saying "I can't remember where i put the rest of the bones!"

Or get extra adventurous and say "yes, they all escaped! No, I don't know where they went!"
 
The real issue here is that you allow her to have a key to your man room.

If it needs to be cleaned every couple of years just hire a maid, no need to have the old lady in there.
 
You went about it all wrong. Boil the meat off the bone, maybe bury it in the backyard for a couple months (mid summer) and let the bugs eat off it for a while, then buy a skull bleaching kit for european skull mounts of deer. Bleaches white overnight.
 
dkwolf said:
You went about it all wrong. Boil the meat off the bone, maybe bury it in the backyard for a couple months (mid summer) and let the bugs eat off it for a while, then buy a skull bleaching kit for european skull mounts of deer. Bleaches white overnight.
Click to expand...

dk, I think you were confused...helpful advice is simply not called for in a situation like this.
 
dkwolf said:
You went about it all wrong. Boil the meat off the bone, maybe bury it in the backyard for a couple months (mid summer) and let the bugs eat off it for a while, then buy a skull bleaching kit for european skull mounts of deer. Bleaches white overnight.
Click to expand...

This is actually a really cool idea.

Alternatively, bury it in the front yard in a shallow grave. As the spring and summer rains happen, it could clear away some of the dirt, and by the time Halloween comes around, you have a realistic graveyard, compete with partially exposed limbs.
 
mcbaumannerb said:
I think the moral of this story is that your man room is only such when it isn't going to be used as a guest room! Perhaps you want to find a darker cave to hide these treasures?
Click to expand...

This story is a travesty. The real moral is that there is no such thing as a 'man room'. It's just an illusion created by your wife to make you think you have some control in your own home.

I built an awesome room in my basement. I came home one day to find my wife had setup a 'scrapbook nook' in the corner. Then she plugged-in those stupid deodorizer/nightlights shaped like butterflies. It sucked the testosterone clean out of the room.

I say we take back our homes. Is anyone else with me?
 
I handle these situations like this.

1.) Argue (check)
2.) Pretend to give-up. (check)
3.) Hide said object in the trunk of the car for 1-2 weeks.
4.) Replace said object in another place in the room.
 
jerrodm said:
Just have to say out loud that the hitting women jokes are uncool. For those forum members who grew up watching their moms get beaten around the room by their dads, it's not a funny joke.
Click to expand...

I apologize, it was all in jest, but life is too short to be so overly sensitive.
 
take the bone, put it in a plastic pail ( ice cream bucket ) cover with ammonia and let it sit for a week or so to get the fat out. Switch the ammonia out once or twice.. take it out and wash it off good when it's not floating grease anymore...wash in hot water, let dry. get a hair bleaching kit I get from Sally Beauty Supply. I use the beauty shop strength 40 volume and the powder to go with it...mix it up according to directions, paint on the skull, wrap it with saran wrap and put under some lights..I use the clamp on dome lights...just don't get so close to melt the plastic wrap.leave for a few hours...wash the stuff off and repeat if necessary. let dry, then spray with none yellowing clear matte sealer. I do taxidermy and this is the method I use for deer skulls.
 
Just start bringing dead things home.

I dated a yuppie girl once, scared her wen I brought home what she called dead animals and I called food.
best one is when I found a dead ram sheeps skull. I put it on a boil and went to take a shower.
She came and and said "honey whats cooking it smells great", I started giggling to myself... waiting

I heard the pot lid hit the flor an a four minute long string of explatives.. I fell over laughing.
I also feed the girl squirrel, goat, bobcat, muskrat, beaver tallow, groundhog, raccon, deer, and mourning dove. Cooked it all seasoned up nice in a roadkill stew. All of them recieved rave reviews until I told her what they were.
 
I read the first post to my wife....she seemed less than entertained. Read her b-boy's post, she found it funny. Something's up here. Kyle
 
AZ_IPA said:
You should be tar and feathered for making pulled pork in a crock pot. :p
Click to expand...

Don't listen to him.

Jayhem said:
While I think that is a fine idea. I would have opted to use a glass jar with lid and tuck them away under a bed or something...

Women do not like anything even remotely "nasty" in the house but what she don't know wont' hurt her. Your downfall was using her tupperware...big no no. I once used SWMBO's baking dish as a drain pan for the car...i never heard the end of that one.
Click to expand...

This.

JordanThomas said:
I would have thrown it away. Sorry, man. Have to agree with your lady-partner-friend-wife-whatevs-thing.
Click to expand...

"partner". It's like that, huh? That's cool, man. That's cool.

JonM said:
Well, there's only one thing to do. Start pretending to search around the house, when she asks what you're looking for, act startled and say "nothing!" and then when she's in earshot, pretend to be on the phone saying "I can't remember where i put the rest of the bones!"

Or get extra adventurous and say "yes, they all escaped! No, I don't know where they went!"
Click to expand...

We should all do this.
 
huntingohio said:
Just start bringing dead things home.

I dated a yuppie girl once, scared her wen I brought home what she called dead animals and I called food.
best one is when I found a dead ram sheeps skull. I put it on a boil and went to take a shower.
She came and and said "honey whats cooking it smells great", I started giggling to myself... waiting

I heard the pot lid hit the flor an a four minute long string of explatives.. I fell over laughing.
I also feed the girl squirrel, goat, bobcat, muskrat, beaver tallow, groundhog, raccon, deer, and mourning dove. Cooked it all seasoned up nice in a roadkill stew. All of them recieved rave reviews until I told her what they were.
Click to expand...

OK - I'm originally from Ohio. Based on that menu I'm guessing you're from Eastern, to South-Eastern Ohio? Near the Ohio river? Maybe accross from WV panhandle? Am I close?

That's where my family is from, and I remember my Grandfather talking about eating all that stuff. He loved groundhog. He used to sit on a swing in his back yard waiting for groundhogs to sneak into his garden, then nail 'em. :mug:
 
b-boy said:
OK - I'm originally from Ohio. Based on that menu I'm guessing you're from Eastern, to South-Eastern Ohio? Near the Ohio river? Maybe accross from WV panhandle? Am I close?

That's where my family is from, and I remember my Grandfather talking about eating all that stuff. He loved groundhog. He used to sit on a swing in his back yard waiting for groundhogs to sneak into his garden, then nail 'em. :mug:
Click to expand...

eastern ohio, but i hunt the entire state and a few other states when i get the chance
 
CreamyGoodness said:
Need a little support here, someone to tell me I was right. So, after making a lovely (read: cheap) pork shoulder into crock-pot pulled pork, I was left with a large shoulder bone. Awesome!

So my plan was to get a bunch of these together over the span of a year and make a long string of shoulder bones tied together with twine for the front balcony.

The other day, SWMBO decides she is going to clean up THE MAN ROOM, and I hear a shriek. Crap. So I ask, "did you hurt yourself?"

"Noooooo... James... what the *deleted* is THIS?!"

"Why, sweetheart, its just a pork bone bleaching in hydrogen peroxide!"

*closes eyes, touches the bridge of her nose*

"Ok... I shouldn't have asked that like that... what I should have asked is WHY THE *rudies* IS THERE A WHITE MEAT BONE IN MY TUPPERWARE ON A BOOKSHELF IN THE GUEST ROOM??!"

"...MAN room"

"NO! DAMMIT JAMES... sigh... my mother is sleeping in this room next weekend..."

"Like she'd ever know..."

"Oh My God... can't believe I'm discussing this. James... what are you doing with a white meat bone? Why would you possibly need this?? And what's the crap floating on the top of the peroxide??"

"Fat from the marrow I think..."

*gags* "Throw it away!!"

"No, Im keeping it for Halloween"

"Almost a year from now?!"

"... yeah?"

After more back and forth I decided there was only one unbiased party I could turn to. My father. He was no help. I'm very disappointed in him.

In the end... she won. The bone I had spent literally weeks bleaching is now in a landfill. There is no justice domestically.

*sigh* it will pass.
Click to expand...

Sorry dude, but I gotta agree with your SWMBO on this one. Maybe if you had a garage or storage unit to put it/them (the bones, not swmbo) in, and had done so, I'd have to (reluctantly) agree with you. I mean a skull or even a full skeleton, sure; but a plain old pork shoulder bone? If you had strung this bunch of bones on your balcony, odds are good trick or treaters wouldn't know what it was anyway, or thought they were made of plastic.
Regards, GF.

EDIT: Creamy, you need one of these:
http://www.roadkilltshirts.com/I-FOUND-THIS-HUMERUS-T-SHIRT-P13674.aspx
:fro:
 
Creamy, I am COMPLETELY with you on this one!

Now, to be fair, I have my own spaces, that are generally not even access by spouse, except when cleaning is done and things in the other parts of the house are placed INTO those spaces, where they are then my responsibility.

The question is whether this particular item would have caused a disturbance to anyone if they were never to open the container. If there was no smell and a person could not see inside, what is the problem?

A man needs his own space, if only to keep his Awesome hobbies away from those who cannot appreciate them.

Clearly she did not consider an alternative to a pork shoulder bone. Realistically you could have hit the highway looking for something MUCH more cooler, like a Raccoon, or even a possum! Those things have the gnarliest teeth in almost the entire animal kingdom! (And creepy little baby fingers, but those don't keep so well as the bones...)
 

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