Friends paying for beer?!

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I have one - my brother in law actually - who completely and utterly takes the piss. I have a keg of cream stout that he's particularly zeroed in on (after almost single handedly demolishing my Belgian Summer Ale) and any time he comes over, it's with an empty growler (or two). (When he does come over, this is usually the only reason he's doing it too, not to hang out or see his sister...)

And of course, being "family", I've been informed that it's not right to ask for or expect payment.

My planned solution is to give him his own tap on the second keezer I'm making. Whatever beer is on that tap is going to be his, he gets to brew it with me, and pay for the ingredients. Everything else is off limits unless he's drinking at the house. And if he encounters a beer that he really really likes on one of my taps, then he needs to hurry up and drink what he has, and then we can brew a batch of that.
 
You should have put a stop to that a long time ago. I'm trying to think if anyone has ever even poured a beer from my tap without asking - besides my wife. I seriously don't think it's happened a single time. And no one has ever left the house with a beer that wasn't a gift from me, specifically where the gifting idea originated in my head.

I can't decide if some of you are nice guys, or just flat out being taken advantage of!
 
Don't get me wrong - he asks permission first, but I've already been informed by his sister, my wife, that saying no isn't an option. Although at this point, since she's been harassing me about credit card charges, it is now.

"Honey, what's this charge from Morebeer?!"
"Had to get more grain and hops!"
"What? Didn't you just load up last month?!"
"Yep!"
"And it's gone already?!"
"Yep. Although I wouldn't be buying it so soon if your brother wasn't inhaling my beer!"
 
There are a lot of people in this thread that need to man up and assert themselves with the same demeanor that likely got them permission to brew in the first place... ;)

Seriously, what type of "friends" are these?? If you're not able to just say "hey guys, this is something I love doing and love sharing, but you've got to meet me halfway here...", then kick them to the curb. I can't think of a single friend that I've let try my homebrew that wouldn't GLADLY pay up if I asked them.

Thing is, I've never asked. Mainly because, as with "loans" to friends and family members, I never give out expecting to get back. I CHOOSE to share it, so I don't feel the need to be compensated for it. I've even turned down $10 for a bomber of my robust porter from a friend that had already drunk it, who insisted it was the best beer he'd ever had... and he's a fellow aficionado. I told him as long as he enjoyed it that much, I would enjoy making it and sharing it. :)

I think each brewer has to decide what they want out of the homebrewing experience... for me, I can't imagine drinking 5 or 10 gallon batches of beer on my own, so I love sharing. If you're THAT emotionally invested in your beer that you can't stomach other people drinking it with less than the fanatical savoring that you employ, it might be time to stop sharing at all. :)
 
I think each brewer has to decide what they want out of the homebrewing experience... for me, I can't imagine drinking 5 or 10 gallon batches of beer on my own, so I love sharing. If you're THAT emotionally invested in your beer that you can't stomach other people drinking it with less than the fanatical savoring that you employ, it might be time to stop sharing at all. :)

I definitely don't mind sharing, its how that arrangement is arrived at. I brought a growler to a party this weekend, and even went home and refilled it because it was so well recieved, but that was my idea.

I would have a serious problem with someone - anyone - coming into my home expecting beer. That's a serious lack of respect. If my brother in-law showed up with two growlers expecting me to fill them, I would, with my piss! But now when he comes over to hang out, I have no problem filling his glass as long as he's there, because he knows not to abuse the privilege and respects my house and my things.
 
I think your best option is inviting them to help out on your brewdays. Both in terms of helping to buy ingredients and labour. That way you're not feeling used and are helped out with your brewing. Plus, maybe some of them will catch the bug and start brewing themselves. Then you won't be shouldering the burden by yourself.

I disagree that the idea of a tip jar is tacky. I've had too many friends who are only around when there's beer/money/food to mooch and can't be bothered to contribute in any way. After a while it gets old and they stop being invited over.
 
I LOVE sharing my brews. It is better to me than drinking them myself. I do NOT like the guys who expect you to hand them over and they chug em down so fast there is NO WAY They even tasted them. I have a family member that you could probably piss in a bottle, tell him it had alcohol in it and he would chug it down and proclaim it to be fantastic... He is also the one who constantly asks ' WHY AINT I GETTIN ANY OF THAT BEER YOU ARE MAKIN" even though I take him some from about every batch. I had a small get together here the other night and a couple of the guys tried to give me money. I told em no but I DID want them to realize that this is not free beer. There is a lot of time involved especially in the barleywine they just had. SOO a couple of them declared that they were gonna go on a Grolsch drinking spree and bring me all of the empties lol.
 
I have one - my brother in law actually - who completely and utterly takes the piss. I have a keg of cream stout that he's particularly zeroed in on (after almost single handedly demolishing my Belgian Summer Ale) and any time he comes over, it's with an empty growler (or two). (When he does come over, this is usually the only reason he's doing it too, not to hang out or see his sister...)

And of course, being "family", I've been informed that it's not right to ask for or expect payment.
I think if I had this problem, I would go on strike. I brew for fun, and if someone else is sucking the joy out of it, I'm done (for now).

"What do you mean, you don't have any beer?!?"
- Well, I'm just too dang busy these days to brew often enough to keep up with you. But there's diet Coke in the fridge, have one.

I'm lucky, though. No one I know has been abusive of the privilege.
 
invite them over on brew day............let them know that it is a hoby and a labor of love these things cost money..........plus a tip jar..........they should get the hint. I have pub night once a month......for now the guys bring thier own beer until I get a pipeline going. They know the plans for the future, 2 guys have already picked up the costs of kits......

Good Luck and CHEERS
 
Thing is, I've never asked. Mainly because, as with "loans" to friends and family members, I never give out expecting to get back. I CHOOSE to share it, so I don't feel the need to be compensated for it. I've even turned down $10 for a bomber of my robust porter from a friend that had already drunk it, who insisted it was the best beer he'd ever had... and he's a fellow aficionado. I told him as long as he enjoyed it that much, I would enjoy making it and sharing it. :)
Ah, that's the thing - that's how it started out. I have absolutely ZERO problem in giving my beer away when folks come over, and revel around like a pig in poo when I'm showered with the "Holy crap, you made this? You MADE this?!?! This is amazing!" compliments. When people are at my house, I make sure I tell them where the keezer is, where the glasses are, and that's it - help yourself.

But there's always the folks - like my brother in law - who take advantage of it. Started off he came over to watch a ball game, sampled the beers, enjoyed them. Next time he came over, had a couple of beers, and asked if he could take a growler home to his wife, since he'd told her how good they were, and she was dying to try them. Sure! Now he doesn't come over without a growler, and recently a second growler appeared. When that happened, I actually made a comment like "Dude, you're pushing your luck, here!" and he hesitatingly offered to pay for them, but of course I can't charge family. And so it goes, I get a visit a couple times a month from the anti-beer fairy, usually for just enough time to fill the growlers and ask one or two questions, and lose a gallon each time. Hah!
 
But there's always the folks - like my brother in law - who take advantage of it. Started off he came over to watch a ball game, sampled the beers, enjoyed them. Next time he came over, had a couple of beers, and asked if he could take a growler home to his wife, since he'd told her how good they were, and she was dying to try them. Sure! Now he doesn't come over without a growler, and recently a second growler appeared. When that happened, I actually made a comment like "Dude, you're pushing your luck, here!" and he hesitatingly offered to pay for them, but of course I can't charge family. And so it goes, I get a visit a couple times a month from the anti-beer fairy, usually for just enough time to fill the growlers and ask one or two questions, and lose a gallon each time. Hah!

Yeah, you have got to talk to your wife about that crap... I mean seriously, who DOES that?? At least get her to tell him that she's proud of the fact that you have a hobby you enjoy and are good at, and that he should be respectful and not try to empty you out when he comes over... that's just disrespectful crap right there.

I like your "run the CC bill up method as well... use it while the getting's good. :) I'm thinking several 55# bags of grain, a mill, several 5# bags of specialty, and a crapload of hops you wouldn't be able to justify otherwise...? :)
 
You can make them buy ingredients and brew it for them.... to me thats different then selling beer.


I thought we weren't even allowed to do that (here in Mass). It has been a while since I read the Commonwealth's laws concerning "malt beverages".

Call me paranoid of the Gestapo state police.
 
I'd ask him to being a 6 pack of something for every growler he wants to fill. Unless I give it as a gift, you can only take beer out if you bring beer in.
 
I got into home brewing because I helped a couple of friends with their beers and altough most of them were doing kits only, it was fantastic and the beer was nice too. Prices here are insane for beer. I recently paid 24$ for a 12 pack of Bud Light Lime for my girlfriend. 24$ ! So I never dreamed of going to one of the guys who brewed and just expect free beer. And that's the mentality the group of people I hang out with has: no one is rolling in piles of money and it makes us uncomfortable when we just mooch. I don't go anywhere and expect to be fed or entertained or anything. I get the feeling that the drinking culture is different. Many may not realize that producing home brew is more expensive than buying a 8$ case of BMC (or whatever insanely low prices some of you Americans are paying)...

But homebrew isn't like eggs or steaks or clothes or anything: selling it is against the law, so it adds just another level of complexity to the whole issue and many seem to be taking advantage of it. The only enforcement wich can be had is a swift kick to the curb. I doubt that friends who don't offer to pitch in or split the cost when they come specifically to get growlers filled or get their piss on will understand when a tip jar appears.

Myself, I get friends so rarely these days that I don't see when I will have the problem. I also like session English Ales and Stouts, wich is not to everyone's liking. But I can see myself brewing something ridiculously cheap like Apfelwein to have around when people just want to get ****faced.
 
Prices here are insane for beer. I recently paid 24$ for a 12 pack of Bud Light Lime for my girlfriend. 24$ !

I was just in Ontario for my honeymoon, and the best beer value was buying a Heine mini-keg for $35. Used the hotel trash can to ice it down, changed the ice three times a day... the maid laughed. She understood... Canada charges too much for beer!

Many may not realize that producing home brew is more expensive than buying a 8$ case of BMC (or whatever insanely low prices some of you Americans are paying)...

We're going camping this weekend, so SWMBO wanted some beer to take along. Of course the pipeline is SHOT b/c someone (hint: not me) didn't want the mess of brewing for a month or so before the wedding. I've got two sixers of homebrew beer left, and we're not taking those camping for danged sure. A 24-pack of Coors Light was only $14, and man, I would have *loved* that kind of deal in the magical land of Canadia!

The only enforcement wich can be had is a swift kick to the curb. I doubt that friends who don't offer to pitch in or split the cost when they come specifically to get growlers filled or get their piss on will understand when a tip jar appears.

Hear, hear. Mooches will be mooches... they think everything costs whatever *they* pay for it... which is nothing. So they don't care. Good people (i.e., not so selfish) already realize things have a cost, so they strive to *not* take advantage.

But I can see myself brewing something ridiculously cheap like Apfelwein to have around when people just want to get ****faced.

Cheap, and it gives a *nasty* hangover if they over-do it! That'll teach 'em! Maybe conjure up a "yeast special" to hit 'em at both ends... BWAHAHAHAHA!!! :D
 
lol...i already told them i didn't want to sell them the beer, but i need them to pay for the ingredients... im just a bit worried about how to enforce this, at the end its up to them.

Just watch which friends contribute to your jar. Pull them aside, ask them to help give a hard time to those who do not contribute. Now you do not look like an *******, and you employ the honest ones to do your griping for you.
 
"And so it goes, I get a visit a couple times a month from the anti-beer fairy, usually for just enough time to fill the growlers and ask one or two questions, and lose a gallon each time. Hah" Your BIL is taking advantage of you. He's thinking, why should I pay for crap beer when I can get better beer for free? Invite him over for a brew day. Maybe he'll get the bug (more like liquid crack...) and start making his own. If he doesn't, you gotta start getting some compensation.
 
Man, here in Winnipeg people are paying $42 for a two-four of "meh" beer in 341 ml bottles.

Just got back from a week in Munich and we were picking up 500 ml bottles of much, much, much, much (did I mention "much"?) better stuff for under a euro in the grocery store.
 
My rule is simple; if you come over and have more than three or four in a sitting, you really should contribute. The guys that drink with me will often leave a 20 or bring a bottle of wine or liquor over if they plan on having quite a few. They understand that it costs a small amount of money and a large amount of time, and neither one is free.
 
When I have a poker night (2-3 times per month) I usually have 10-12 friends over who enjoy beer. I always tell them not to waste $$ on store bought beer. I haven't homebrewed up until recently so the kegs were commercial but good beer. (Sam, Yuengling, Flying Bison or Great Lakes) Anyways I wasn't going to sponsor "free beer night" so I made a sign and friends got the idea:

Keg System $200
Fridge $100
Two Kegs $160
Co2, Electricity $100/mo.

12oz Draft Priceless But $1 per or 5 for $5 is highly recommended!

Instead of spending $9 on a six pack they would throw a few bucks in the jar and it was a win-win. If I had friends or family over and it was casual I would flip the sign over which read "Free Draft Beer"
 
For those of you who act as if this is no big deal or it is tacky to want compensation.. how many of you have friends who will kill a 30 pack EVERY NIGHT and go looking for more beer? IF I do not subtly hint, there are a couple of guys who come here who can kill a full keg in a night EASY. I finally told one of the worst offenders that there is no more free beer..... get your ass over here and help me brew and clean up... Another thing is to do like one poster said and tap something that is REALLY potent. It tends to slow em down lol...I recently hinted that since money here is REALLY bad right now that I am almost out of 2 row and a bag will have to be bought before I can brew anymore...wonder if anyone takes the hint lol.
 
I just lucked out. A friend who likes the homebrew that my roommates and I make just offered to buy us a new mash tun for the trouble and he wants to start brewing too. He's a good friend.

A different friend wanted to work out something where he buys the ingredients and we make it but suddenly we can't brew on our own schedule because he's not ready when he is and we have full fermenters when he's looking to start. It makes me feel likes it's a power grab. I don't want to work for him as his own personal brewer when he only is buying the ingredients.
 
If I invite people over then of course the beer is free....However I have developed a very good reputation over the years of making really good beer. Friends now stop by for growler fills for a weekend party or just to have around. I enjoy providing this service and I have some super cool friends. They either leave money, homebrew, or commercial beer on the workbench. I don't ask to be compensated but it sure is nice to have a few dollars for the next batch.
 
If I'm just having a buddy or two over, I don't charge or try to get money out of them. I view it all as an educational expense, and the faster I go through my beer, the sooner I can get to brewing the next one. My friends are also really cool when it comes to money and I know it will get paid forward some how. If I'm having a party, generally I'll either make it pot-luck or just throw my "Beer-Fund" jar on top of the keezer with a couple bucks in it.

I've also told my friends that if they want me to brew them something, just tell me what kind of beer they want, I'll tell them what they need to order to brew it and then I'll either brew it for them or let them brew it on my equipment and will help them along.
 
I think it is really dependent on the type of friend. Most of my friends are the type that we take turns picking up the tab or we will go to their place and have a few beers too so it even outs. There are a few friends though that only mooch and never pay it back. Over the years most of those people I don't hang out with anymore because it gets old and the friendship becomes a one way street which is not what a true friendship is. So I choose not to hang out with them. So the friends that remain I would never charge, problem fixes itself.
 
I had this problem when I started brewing.after them not getting the hint I started storing all my Equipment in front of the keezer so no one could get to it(was on dollys so I could roll it out of way) and told them "no man.hadnt brewed in a long time. dont have any extra money with all the bills". they stopped coming over. I still love to share my beer. but only to friends, not good time buddys. I do feel bad for Alcoholics, but they arnt my problem and I wont help enable them.
 
Haha I was just discussing this with a friend the other day. My two roommates help me brew (not financially, they stand in our garage with me while I brew. Sometimes they'll toss in a hop addition). But i've noticed they drink the finished beer at a slightly greater rate than I do. They also give away singles to people who pass through, telling them "take one of our beers home and try it out." Haha, I guess that's just part of the game. I always throw a six pack of each batch in my closet anyway, to drink at my leisure as it ages.
 
My friends are BMC guys, which is good because I can keep the good stuff for myself. :tank:
 
Haha I was just discussing this with a friend the other day. My two roommates help me brew (not financially, they stand in our garage with me while I brew. Sometimes they'll toss in a hop addition). But i've noticed they drink the finished beer at a slightly greater rate than I do. They also give away singles to people who pass through, telling them "take one of our beers home and try it out." Haha, I guess that's just part of the game. I always throw a six pack of each batch in my closet anyway, to drink at my leisure as it ages.

one of my frat bros was just like this. he always felt he had the right to come to my room and poor himself a brew. taking the advice from HBT, i asked him to help me with one of my batches in order for him to get an idea for all the work that goes into brewing a batch. "oh yea, i'll definitely help out bro!"

come brew day, i get all my equipment set up, and begin getting everything prepared for mashing while my frat bro just sits by and watches. sure enough about 30 minutes into mashing, "hey bro, gotta go do something really quick." i wouldn't see him until later that night...well after clean up.

however, this didn't stop him from telling all my other bros about the beer that he "brewed". to make matters worse, he even tried to come off as a beer-brewing expert.

drove me absolutely insane.

...on the other hand, now that i'm graduated and living with my parents for the time before i head off to med school, i really wish i had more people to drink my beer.
 
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