The God#%!$ Cops Thread

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so there i am, at work, having ONE beer (sierra nevada PA) while i swept and mopped.

hop in my car to drive home, pass a parked cop on the way home. i know i have a burnt out tail light, and it IS 4:15am, but I had the pizza place I work for's sign on my car signaling i'm a delivery driver. we never get pulled over as long as we put that sign on our car, cops SHOULD have something better to do.

BAM, 2 cops on my tail immediately.

i had had that ONE beer about a half hour ago, and he still smelled it on my breath. all right, fine. but i was completely coherent, very polite, and completely compliant. no field sobriety test or breathalyzer necessary.

but alas, the cops didn't agree, so i had to waste 20 minutes of good drinking-at-home time pleasing the boys in blue.

but looking back, it was a bit funny:
Cop: So how many drinks have you had tonight?
Me: Just one.
Cop: Just one? What did you have?
Me: A Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.
Cop: Sierra Nevada huh? Is that like an IPA or something?
Me: Well actually, an IPA is an india pale ale, while this is just a pale ale. see the difference is in the hop content and usually the alcohol level. while an IPA might average around ~8% alcohol, a pale ale is usually a bit lower. they named it an india pale ale because in the 1800's.... oh wait. this isn't relevant, is it?
Cop: Can I have you step out of the car please?

long story short after an extensive field sobriety test and breathalyzer he let me go with a verbal warning. he was kind of being unnecessarily dickheadish, and left me with a slight case of the shakes after the ordeal. but no harm no foul.

so what experiences have you guys had with the cops? any close calls? should-have-gotten-arresteds? gotten completely screwed over?
 
Wow, so you were drinking at work, and then broke the law by drinking and driving. Gotta say I'm on the cops side on this and most other issues. If you're gonna take the chance to risk another persons life, no matter how good of a driver you are, you'd better just buck up if you happen to get pulled over and quit your whining. I have nothing but respect for police, even the dickheads and the crooked ones. They're out there every day doing a job to make this country a better place to live. Anyone who has a problem with cops has a problem with America and yadda yadda blah blah blah explicative you know where I'm going with this.
 
Yeah, comon. I goto dinner and have 1 beer. YOu telling me I am breaking the law? Please I've seen other things affect drivability more than 1 beer.

A few years ago, I was installing a window unit AC at my mom's house. It took me about an hour, but it was 101 deg F outside. After I was done, she gave me 1 beer, I drank that in about 2 sec. I immediately left to go home. Got pulled over for Registration sticker being expired. Luckily I had the new sticker in my visor, just hadnt applied it. He kept asking if I'd been drinking. I kept saying know. I got the shakes then too!
 
one time a cop pulled over a drunk driver and took them to jail, the driver was going to crash head on into me and my family while we were coming home from visiting with family.... Could have happened.

While it was an inconvenience for you, it was 4am, only a small fraction of people who are out at this time are not committing a crime. You just happened to be on the right side of the percentage.

I have been pulled over for worse, but I just accept it as the price to pay to keep the streets safe for my family.

FWIW, I was driving from my office to a gas station 4 blocks away to get a pepsi. I was pulled over in my truck for not having a seat belt on.

In Indiana there is no motorcycle helmet law, but I have to wear a seat belt. I received a $25 ticket. Was I happy? Hell no, but I knew the law and paid my ticket.
 
When I used work as a pizza delivery driver I went through cars like crazy; all beaters, of course. One particular night I got off of work (at 3 in the am), drove home and walked down to the Quickie mart to buy some groceries - or not. The all night quickie mart was closed for 2 hours for cleaning. So I get back in my beater car and drive to a grocery store, which I'm not even sure is open, and toddle on down the road. Now bear in mind that one head light works and neither brake light comes on. Now watch me as I pull into the parking lot only to discover the store is also closed, the cop (who I didn't see) flips on his lights and the conversation went something like this:

Cop: How ya doing?

Me: Fine, is there a problem officer?

Cop: Yeah, did you know that you've only got one headlight working and no lights in the back?

Me: (look of surprise) Really? Aw, ****...

After an explanation in which I pleaded ignorance and poverty...

Cop: Well, look... I'll just drive behind you to make sure you get home safe, ok?

Me: Riiight....

Turns out we both had a mutual friend too so no harm, no foul type of deal. Still, the next day I went out and fixed everything that I could afford on my car.
 
pizzaman said:
Wow, so you were drinking at work, and then broke the law by drinking and driving. Gotta say I'm on the cops side on this and most other issues. If you're gonna take the chance to risk another persons life, no matter how good of a driver you are, you'd better just buck up if you happen to get pulled over and quit your whining. I have nothing but respect for police, even the dickheads and the crooked ones. They're out there every day doing a job to make this country a better place to live. Anyone who has a problem with cops has a problem with America and yadda yadda blah blah blah explicative you know where I'm going with this.
Click to expand...

Did you have your glass of DEE DE DEEE this morning? LOL
 
pizzaman said:
I have nothing but respect for police, even the dickheads and the crooked ones.
Click to expand...

How is that? :confused:

To the OP,
You have to expect that if the cop can smell beer on your breath, he/she has to assume you had more than one. I takes a few BMCs to get the same strength of smell that 1 SNPA would give. I am sure they have smelled people with a similar aroma that have blown over the limit.

Plus, your little speech about IPAs might not have helped. ;)
 
size, jesse and meaty, The moral of these stories are don't drink and drive with known equipment violations. As each of you pointed out, you knew about the problems with your vehicles. These are the type of things that cops use to get up close and personal with you. Any time I go to the bar I always walk around my car checking for equipment violations and repairing them before heading out. A tail light only takes about 15 seconds to replace. A head light takes longer but could have been switched to hi beam so both sides were working.
 
beerthirty makes a great point. driving around at 4AM with lights out is like walking around the south side with $20 bills hanging out of your pockets. Its just asking for it...
 
Oh, I wasn't bitching at all. Someone else made a post about respecting crooked cops and I replied that no cop who's crooked deserves any respect.
 
Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a Highway Traffic Cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop's heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow, but he won't know what to make of your blinker signal that says you're about to turn right. This is to let him know you're looking for a proper place to pull off and talk. It will take him a moment to realize that he is about to make 180 degree turn at speed... but you will be ready for it, braced for the G's and the fast heel toe work.
 
If someone was a pathological control freak with an overriding desire to wield power over others, then law enforcement would be an attractive job. I'm not saying that all cops are like that, but if you ARE, this might be a good area of employment for you. I always keep that in mind when dealing with cops. Heck, if you run into one, being polite and submissive is the best way to deal with them. It massages their ego and makes them more likely to grant you a royal freakin' pardon.
 
pizzaman said:
Wow, so you were drinking at work, and then broke the law by drinking and driving. Gotta say I'm on the cops side on this and most other issues. If you're gonna take the chance to risk another persons life, no matter how good of a driver you are, you'd better just buck up if you happen to get pulled over and quit your whining. I have nothing but respect for police, even the dickheads and the crooked ones. They're out there every day doing a job to make this country a better place to live. Anyone who has a problem with cops has a problem with America and yadda yadda blah blah blah explicative you know where I'm going with this.
Click to expand...

Wow, I do believe this is the first time I've ever heard someone say that they have "nothing but respect" for crooked cops.
shocked-smiley-9456.gif


I can think of few people less deserving of respect than public servants who abuse their position. The very fact that they are crooked means that they are not making this country a better place to live. Methinks pizzaman might be a troll...
 
I've gotten pulled over a couple times for minor speeding (like 65 in 55 or something) though I usually driver the speed limit. Both times I had my son and fiance/wife in the car. The cops were very nice and let me off with a warning.

Now another time I was on my way to work at about 7. I was taking a country road I like cause it is a much more peaceful morning drive that the interstate. There was a cop behind me for miles and miles. I knew he was there so I was very careful. After him being there about 5-6minutes, he all of a sudden flew up very close behind me, probably reading my plate. I knew what was coming and sure enough he pulled me over. He said my car came up as unregistered...sure. Gave him everything, nothing wrong. He says it must be a computer problem. About 200 ft ahead of me is the sign for entering Ingham county. He's a Livingston county officer. After I leave, very late for work, he turns around and heads the other way. I think he was rolling the dice before he had to turn around.

What sucks is I was at least 20 min late. I don't think my boss believed me that I got pulled over for non reason.
 
hammacks said:
...What sucks is I was at least 20 min late. I don't think my boss believed me that I got pulled over for non reason.
Click to expand...
You should have told him he made you late for work and to give you a note for your boss...;)

Whenever a cop got behind my dad he just put on his turn signal, slowed down and stopped. Sometimes the cop would just go by and others would stop and ask why he stopped.

He told them directly that with them driving right behind him they made him nervous and instead of waiting for him to do something the cop thought was stupid he just stopped to let them go by. Some cops didn't like his answer, but that's the way it is. You can be nervous around them and be completely in the right.

Personally, I'm thinking about taking a couple of law classes after I retire so learn more about citizen's arrest. I would like to signal to cops to pull over and announce a citizen's arrest notice for speeding by me. I'm guessing that if I had a police scanner in my car and there wasn't any emergencies over the airwaves he's probably breaking the law. ;)
 
hammacks said:
I've gotten pulled over a couple times for minor speeding (like 65 in 55 or something) though I usually driver the speed limit. Both times I had my son and fiance/wife in the car. The cops were very nice and let me off with a warning.

Now another time I was on my way to work at about 7. I was taking a country road I like cause it is a much more peaceful morning drive that the interstate. There was a cop behind me for miles and miles. I knew he was there so I was very careful. After him being there about 5-6minutes, he all of a sudden flew up very close behind me, probably reading my plate. I knew what was coming and sure enough he pulled me over. He said my car came up as unregistered...sure. Gave him everything, nothing wrong. He says it must be a computer problem. About 200 ft ahead of me is the sign for entering Ingham county. He's a Livingston county officer. After I leave, very late for work, he turns around and heads the other way. I think he was rolling the dice before he had to turn around.

What sucks is I was at least 20 min late. I don't think my boss believed me that I got pulled over for non reason.
Click to expand...

Another Michigander? ;) I grew up in Ingham County (Mason).


+1 to not understanding how anyone can have respect for a crooked cop...

I also don't see the point in driving after drinking, even one, but that also doesn't mean someone is automatically breaking the law.
 
homebrewer_99 said:
Personally, I'm thinking about taking a couple of law classes after I retire so learn more about citizen's arrest. I would like to signal to cops to pull over and announce a citizen's arrest notice for speeding by me. I'm guessing that if I had a police scanner in my car and there wasn't any emergencies over the airwaves he's probably breaking the law. ;)
Click to expand...

... and maybe on holiday you can take up the exciting sport of shark poking. A couple of jabs in the ribs to get their attention, and when they turn to strike, BAM! Right in the eye!
 
Man, I should still be in jail or straight up prison for the stuff I've had in my vehicles. The only time I ever got stopped riding dirty (guns with weed and stuff I won't even tell the internet about) was for broken gear I didn't know about. CHECK YOUR GEAR! If you do get a gear stop, be cool, play dumb about it, promise to fix it right away and don't get assey. Ware your seat belt. Give po-po no reason to stop you. Have your plates and stickers current. Have your papers handy. Every second spent searching for them is a second closer to elevated interaction.
 
Flyin' Lion said:
Another Michigander? ;) I grew up in Ingham County (Mason).


+1 to not understanding how anyone can have respect for a crooked cop...

I also don't see the point in driving after drinking, even one, but that also doesn't mean someone is automatically breaking the law.
Click to expand...

Yup, I was driving to a Parker plant on Cedar in Mason, or maybe Holt (Kinda in between). I'm actually moving from East Lansing towards Holt right off 96 on Cedar. Your neck of the woods hmm?
 
One of my friends was pulled over going to a bar. He passed all the field test and blew a 0.0.

Cop still arrested him and took him in. The Fist Sgt had to come get him. The cops never filed charges and he had to pay 300$ to get his truck released from impound. Where the bastards raked the thing down the passenger side breaking his mirror and leaving a 1/4" tear in the door that was about 3 ft long.

WTF
 
Fingers said:
... and maybe on holiday you can take up the exciting sport of shark poking. A couple of jabs in the ribs to get their attention, and when they turn to strike, BAM! Right in the eye!
Click to expand...
Oh come on...laws were written for EVERYONE...EVERYONE has to abide by them...;)

I could take up shark poking...sounds like fun. We used to catch 6-8 ft sand sharks by hand in Jersey...of course, they're not that big around, just long...
 
I once got pulled over going 32 in a 30. I was told to watch myself because school was starting the next day and there would be kids walking home from school. Never really understood that one...

I used to get pulled over for speeding a bit when I was younger. Nothing crazy but maybe 5-15 mph over the speed limit. I always acted polite, turned down the radio, addressed the officers as "sir" etc,etc, and have never been given a written citation. Sometimes you just have to be nice even if they might be acting like dicks.
 
My favorite cop story happened when I was 19.... I had this minivan with farm truck plates since we used it to pull livestock. Now I was on my way to the feed store one day and not paying attention was going a little fast when I hit the railroad tracks and BAM!!! I was airborne! Thinking this was pretty sweet, I of course pulled a 180 and tried it again and again. Soon it became a ritual with my friends and I to go flying over the train tracks whenever we went to town.

Fast forward about a year I was coming home from my first year at school, and giving a ride to a couple of friends who wanted to come up for a week to camp and fish. It was late at night and on the drive I told them the story about jumping the tracks, and they thought it would be fun to try. When we get there, we go over it once, I pull a 180, speed up and do it again, pull another 180, hit it again at even higher speed, and was skidding through another 180 when the engine died. I was in the process of trying to start the engine when I see a flashlight running up to me and hear screaming of "hold it right there! Boy are you in trouble now son!!!" Apparently there had been a domestic dispute in a nearby house and half the police force was across the street and witnessed everything that had just happened. Within minutes we were surrounded by several squad cars and a ton of cops.

Of course we were all pulled out of the vehicle, gave up our licenses (which was a story all in itself, because one of my friends was from Alaska and we spent a good while pleading that her ID was real....), cuffed, were put through sobriety tests, searched for drugs, hassled and questioned, then they finally said they were going to search the vehicle. Well I had all my stuff from my dorm room in the back (including a couple road signs I had procured...), so I am sweating my balls off at this point convinced that I am going to jail.

Long story short, the cops ended up letting us go laughing their asses off that we were stupid enough to be doing something like that when there were squad cars parked right there (In my defense I had not seen them). Before they let us go though we were regaled with each of their stories of what they saw and were thinking as we are flying through the air in a minivan that is at least 6 different colors (every door came from a different colored vehicle) with them laughing the whole time and me still standing there in cuffs.

I will swear to this day, the most carefully driving I have ever done in my entire life was when I was pulling away from all those cops, watching the flashing lights in my rear view while they were still hunched over laughing in the middle of the road.
 
Zul'jin said:
Man, I should still be in jail or straight up prison for the stuff I've had in my vehicles. The only time I ever got stopped riding dirty (guns with weed and stuff I won't even tell the internet about) .
Click to expand...

We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into locked a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.
 
deathweed said:
My favorite cop story happened when I was 19.... I had this minivan with farm truck plates since we used it to pull livestock. Now I was on my way to the feed store one day and not paying attention was going a little fast when I hit the railroad tracks and BAM!!! I was airborne! Thinking this was pretty sweet, I of course pulled a 180 and tried it again and again. Soon it became a ritual with my friends and I to go flying over the train tracks whenever we went to town.

Fast forward about a year I was coming home from my first year at school, and giving a ride to a couple of friends who wanted to come up for a week to camp and fish. It was late at night and on the drive I told them the story about jumping the tracks, and they thought it would be fun to try. When we get there, we go over it once, I pull a 180, speed up and do it again, pull another 180, hit it again at even higher speed, and was skidding through another 180 when the engine died. I was in the process of trying to start the engine when I see a flashlight running up to me and hear screaming of "hold it right there! Boy are you in trouble now son!!!" Apparently there had been a domestic dispute in a nearby house and half the police force was across the street and witnessed everything that had just happened. Within minutes we were surrounded by several squad cars and a ton of cops.

Of course we were all pulled out of the vehicle, gave up our licenses (which was a story all in itself, because one of my friends was from Alaska and we spent a good while pleading that her ID was real....), cuffed, were put through sobriety tests, searched for drugs, hassled and questioned, then they finally said they were going to search the vehicle. Well I had all my stuff from my dorm room in the back (including a couple road signs I had procured...), so I am sweating my balls off at this point convinced that I am going to jail.

Long story short, the cops ended up letting us go laughing their asses off that we were stupid enough to be doing something like that when there were squad cars parked right there (In my defense I had not seen them). Before they let us go though we were regaled with each of their stories of what they saw and were thinking as we are flying through the air in a minivan that is at least 6 different colors (every door came from a different colored vehicle) with them laughing the whole time and me still standing there in cuffs.

I will swear to this day, the most carefully driving I have ever done in my entire life was when I was pulling away from all those cops, watching the flashing lights in my rear view while they were still hunched over laughing in the middle of the road.
Click to expand...

That's a good story Deathweed.
 
hmm, driving through upstate new york I was pulled over doing 75 in a 65. The ticket said 90. 150 bucks.

I find out months later that I have to pay an additional fee (read: extortion) of 300 for the mighty privilege of driving in the state of new york.

:mad:
 
OK, another cop story. This is a good one for all the cops who pull people over and unjustifyingly treat them like dirt.

I was driving back to college from home... a 4 hour drive across Pennsylvania. This trip I made in record time and when I pulled into town, I was still in the mind-set of highway speeds. It was late at night, about 11:00, and I ran a stop sign... there were no other cars on the road and I didn't see it for some reason. Flashing lights pull me over, cop walks up and with a very cocky, stereotypically small-town cop attitude says, "stop signs don't work for you at night!?"

Now at this point I was like, my bad... I ran a stop sign, give me a ticket, it's my own stupidity. I bite my tongue from answering his sarcasm with more sarcasm and I treat him with respect (albeit forced)... he continues to treat me like I'm a 3-year old. I give him my license, etc. He spends like 15 minutes in his car behind me.

He finally walks up to the car and hands me my license, etc. and smart-assedly explains the ticket to me. As I'm signing the ticket, he starts scanning the back seat area of my car with his flashlight. I totally forgot about the handgun lying on the floor in the back. I had brought it home to do some target shooting with friends and just threw it in the back seat floor when I started the trip back.

He sees the gun, jumps back and puts his hand on his gun and nervously asks, "do you have a permit to carry that gun?" "Yes sir," I say. "May I see it?" "Sure." I hand it to him, he studies it. It's legit. He hands it back.

All of a sudden his demeanor did a 180. He takes his signed carbon-copy of the ticket... "You have a nice night now sir," he says. I drive off, realizing I just scared the **** out of him and feeling pretty good about it for the way he treated me.
 
I was in the middle of moving and had left a bunch of stuff loaded in the back of my car that I hadn't bothered to take in, so it rode around with me for a couple weeks.

Well, all that time I was getting pulled over left and right for the most piddlyass things. But none of them gave me a ticket! They'd pull me over, tell me that I touched the white line on that last turn or that I should have activated my turn signal a little bit earlier than I did or some crap like that.

Finally, a friend of my mother's who's a state trooper happened to peek in the back of my car and asked if I was getting pulled over much. I had all my winemaking gear in the back and it looked like a rolling meth lab. Soon as I cleared that out, I stopped getting pulled over. All the cops were pulling me over to get a closer look.


The only really bad cop experienced I had was when I was living in a college town and made the mistake of being a college aged person and getting pulled over by a city cop on the edge of the college campus. The cops there HATE the students. My tabs on my car were 2 days past expiration. I'd bought my new tabs and had them in the car with me. The tabs say right on the back not to apply them if the temperature is below 40 degrees, and it hadn't been above freezing in that town in a month. Even after showing the cop that, he still cited me for expired tabs. Even though I had them there with me and showed him that I'd paid and all that.
 
so this was back in highschool and my friends and I went out that night to see a movie or something. well it was pretty late and we were driving through a two lane mountain highway when we got to a passing lane and a car from way behind us decided he wanted to pass. my friend decided to gun it and race the other car. that other car was a cop and we were all underage and all smoking cigarettes and just tried to race a cop. needless to say he pulled us over. we all put our cigarettes out and when he got to the door he just looked at as and said, "what the hell do you think you were doing?" my friend who was driving said, "I'm sorry sir. the passing lane was ending and I didn't know you were a cop." the cop proceeded to say, "do you know how fast you were going?" and my fried said he didn't know. so the cop said "so I can say you were going 100 miles per hour and you wouldn't be able to refute that?" my friend said "oh there is no way in hell this car can even go 100 miles an hour." that mad the cop laugh and he just told us to drive the speed limit and to let cops pass. we were all very excited and when we drove off my friend who was driving took a drink of his soda not realizing I used it to put on my cigarette.
 
bottleopener said:
hmm, driving through upstate new york I was pulled over doing 75 in a 65. The ticket said 90. 150 bucks.

I find out months later that I have to pay an additional fee (read: extortion) of 300 for the mighty privilege of driving in the state of new york.

:mad:
Click to expand...

Heh... try living here...

Anyway, I've been pulled over a *few* times for speeding and nearly always drive off with a ticket(guess I always run into the crabby cops.) I also have a spotless driving record thanks to a really good lawyer!
 

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