How to not drink that first batch in two weeks or less...(kinda long)

I've been reading on here and everyone keeps saying pipeline, and as simple and reasonable as that sounds I think everyone here knows how hard it is to keep your grubby little hands off your beer as soon as it's in the bottle especially when it's one of your first batches.



I drank my very first batch in probably a week and a half. (A jubelale clone)
It was obviously completley flat but it was delicious, and everytime I drank one I was amazed that made this myself from water yeast grains, and hops. I was dissapointed how fast it went and that I never got to taste it fully aged....or even carbonated so I came up with a plan.

After bottling my next batch (an APA) I made myself a couple (5) rum and cokes....and once I was thuroughly drunk I took about 10 bottles of the APA and proceeded to hide them around my house. I woke up the next morning not remebering any of this and not remebering why I had one of my neck ties around my head rambo style.

I had a little bit better self control on this batch. I managed to save 5 or 6 bottles untill carb was complete, they were amazing but still a bit greenish.

but then to my suprise for the next 3 months later I would randomly run across a lone bottle of beer. I found one in with my camping gear, one at the bottom of the bag of dog food, one not suprisingly in the bottom of the drawer were I keep all my ties, and various other rediculous places.

They became like little treasures and they were all so delicious. uncovering one was like finding a $20 bill in an old jacket.once you brush of the dog food crumbs or thuroughly wash it down because it was floating in the tank of your toilet they are perfectly aged and very rewarding.

Since then I have grown more patient and have created a pretty decent pipeline, but what I am saying is I don't think you should torture yourself when that first batch is sitting in the closet just calling out to you. Just appreciate what you have made and drink them as fast as you damn well want to.

And I apologize for the spelling/grammer I have already had a couple rum and cokes tonight

~joe

Great story! How will you know if you have found them all?

Brilliant! I salute you, my drunken friend!

Denny's Evil Concoctions said:

Great story! How will you know if you have found them all?

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Well I guess I wont..... I can imagine myself 9 years from now cleaning out an AC Vent or something and coming across a dust coverd bottle of what will then be reffered to as "The Holy Grail"

I think this is one of the funniest things I have read on here!
Props for thinking outside the box to make sure you wait long enough to enjoy the brew.

I guess the only problem is now when you want a beer you have to tear the house apart

That was hilarious!!!

And a great idea too!!

Lando said:

I think this is one of the funniest things I have read on here!
Props for thinking outside the box to make sure you wait long enough to enjoy the brew.

I guess the only problem is now when you want a beer you have to tear the house apart

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ha ! yeah I have been tempted at times

I have a couple of thoughts. One is that I must tell you how impressed I am with your problem solving abilities. Anybody who thinks along those lines is my kind of people. Your gonna go far my friend.

But just in case you would like to hear a couple of alternatives; one might be to ask someone to hide them for you and that way you don't have to hammer yourself with Bacardi and Coke, unless of course that's the whole point, in which case hammer away. You could also give some to a close friend and have him swear to keep them from you until some pre-determined time in the future, although that comes with the risk that your friend just might drink them himself. Maybe seal some bottles in a titanium time capsule with a couple of pounds of C-4 and a timer that will detonate if opened before a certain pre-programmed date. The obvious risk there is that you get back into that rum and coke one night and try to hack into the time capsule and blow yourself and your beer to smithereens.

Or just try to find some self-control.

All kidding aside - beer is so much better when given time to mature. This is advice that was given to me after my first batch and since then I have found that patience is definitely rewarded. Sometimes it takes a long time too. I have a Dortmunder style beer that I bottled back in February. I didn’t touch it for 6 weeks. I tasted it then and it wasn’t done. I tasted a bottle again at 8 weeks, and still not there. Just a few days ago I did a 10 week taste test and voila! my Dortmunder had arrived. All the flavors have found their place. And I know from experience now that it will continue to get better. I can drink it now but if I wanted to wait another month or two it would be noticeably better than it is today.

Dennis

HAHA, this is great.

My luck I'd get wasted and then remember when I put every bottle!!

Good story, looking back I wish I had been more patient with my first two brews....still have a few of the first but the Hefes are history.