Funny things you've overheard about beer

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I was in a pub by Waterloo station, London (the firehouse/ the old firehouse, one of the two...) and overheard some one asking for 'a stout, Guinness if you have it...' He was then offered budvar dark and told 'have you tried this befor? It's one of my favourite stouts' I didn't know where to start!
 
BoBoBenton said:
I was in a pub by Waterloo station, London (the firehouse/ the old firehouse, one of the two...) and overheard some one asking for 'a stout, Guinness if you have it...' He was then offered budvar dark and told 'have you tried this befor? It's one of my favourite stouts' I didn't know where to start!
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I prefer to start with a slap to the back of the head followed by a swift kick to the seat of the pants :p
 
A few weeks ago, my brother-in-law, Stefan, and I went into a bar and grill to get dinner. I went straight to the table, while he went to take his daughter to the restroom. We'd had a great day out hunting, but we were frozen through to the bone - we certainly needed a beer. Anyway, the waitress came straight to the table and asked what I wanted to drink.
"What do you have on tap?" I fired back.
"We don't have a tap."
I paused for a moment, but, undeterred, asked, "What do you have in bottles?"
"Sam Adams, Bud, Bud Light, Miller, Miller Light." I don't remember the full list, but she went on in a downward spiral long enough that it got pretty awkward.
Finally, she finished and I said, "... I'll have a Sam Adams."
So, she walks off just as Stefan came back to the table. He sat down, and here comes the waitress again to ask him what he wants to drink.
"What do you have on tap?" he asks, and, as he does, I start to grin.
"We don't have a tap."
"What do you have in bottles?"
And, sure enough, here comes the whole list again in the exact same order. I can see Stefan getting sucked down the exact same vortex of despair.
Finally, she finishes the whole terrible list and he says, "... I'll have a Sam Adams."
I just started laughing. I wonder how many times that waitress had that exact same conversation.
 
Barley_Bob said:
A few weeks ago, my brother-in-law, Stefan, and I went into a bar and grill to get dinner. I went straight to the table, while he went to take his daughter to the restroom. We'd had a great day out hunting, but we were frozen through to the bone - we certainly needed a beer. Anyway, the waitress came straight to the table and asked what I wanted to drink.
"What do you have on tap?" I fired back.
"We don't have a tap."
I paused for a moment, but, undeterred, asked, "What do you have in bottles?"
"Sam Adams, Bud, Bud Light, Miller, Miller Light." I don't remember the full list, but she went on in a downward spiral long enough that it got pretty awkward.
Finally, she finished and I said, "... I'll have a Sam Adams."
So, she walks off just as Stefan came back to the table. He sat down, and here comes the waitress again to ask him what he wants to drink.
"What do you have on tap?" he asks, and, as he does, I start to grin.
"We don't have a tap."
"What do you have in bottles?"
And, sure enough, here comes the whole list again in the exact same order. I can see Stefan getting sucked down the exact same vortex of despair.
Finally, she finishes the whole terrible list and he says, "... I'll have a Sam Adams."
I just started laughing. I wonder how many times that waitress had that exact same conversation.
Click to expand...

That is awesome. Cool story bro. No joke. I've been there. I'm from Ohio and it happens a lot there but I usually get the customary eyeroll when I order the only decent/non BMC beer they have. :mug:
 
I was at a bottle release yesterday and a kid behind me was boasting to his friends how experienced a beer shipper he is. He proceeded to tell them that they should never use FedEx because that is federal - and it's a federal crime to ship illegal things through them. The best bet is to use USPS - they ship anything and they don't care. :smack:
 
Barley_Bob said:
A few weeks ago, my brother-in-law, Stefan, and I went into a bar and grill to get dinner. I went straight to the table, while he went to take his daughter to the restroom. We'd had a great day out hunting, but we were frozen through to the bone - we certainly needed a beer. Anyway, the waitress came straight to the table and asked what I wanted to drink.
"What do you have on tap?" I fired back.
"We don't have a tap."
I paused for a moment, but, undeterred, asked, "What do you have in bottles?"
"Sam Adams, Bud, Bud Light, Miller, Miller Light." I don't remember the full list, but she went on in a downward spiral long enough that it got pretty awkward.
Finally, she finished and I said, "... I'll have a Sam Adams."
So, she walks off just as Stefan came back to the table. He sat down, and here comes the waitress again to ask him what he wants to drink.
"What do you have on tap?" he asks, and, as he does, I start to grin.
"We don't have a tap."
"What do you have in bottles?"
And, sure enough, here comes the whole list again in the exact same order. I can see Stefan getting sucked down the exact same vortex of despair.
Finally, she finishes the whole terrible list and he says, "... I'll have a Sam Adams."
I just started laughing. I wonder how many times that waitress had that exact same conversation.
Click to expand...

I hate making them go through the whole list, especially since they normally have to go through 10 versions of BMC beers that I know I won't get. I really don't understand what's so hard about printing your beer list on the menu, or even just on a little side menu?
 
gometz said:
I hate making them go through the whole list, especially since they normally have to go through 10 versions of BMC beers that I know I won't get. I really don't understand what's so hard about printing your beer list on the menu, or even just on a little side menu?
Click to expand...

This. Buy a chalkboard and hang it over the bar if your selection changes so much that you don't want to print it. Unless the place specializes in craft beers - in which case I expect the wait staff to not only know what's on tap but to be able to talk about the beers.
 
Man made beer god made pot. .. god is good man is not..

Used to say this a looong time ago.. think its funny now :) I hope they. Serve beer in hell.. not bmc!

Sent from my SPH-L710 using Home Brew mobile app
 
dkwolf said:
The doctor banned him from exercise until he could lose 15 lbs [and] explicitly told him to start drinking at least one beer a day
Click to expand...

Uhm, how exactly does one abstain from all exercise, drink 2 beers a night, and still lose 15 lbs?

Seriously... figure that out and you're sitting on a gold mine.
 
Here's an old one that my grandmother told me long ago, not sure if it is true.

As we know, Doppelbocks were developed by Franciscan monks to be drunk during fasting time. They weren't allowed to eat food during these 40 days, so the nice and heavy Doppelbocks would sustain them. Well some of the other orders started questioning if this was cheating or not and approached the pope. The pope then asked the Franciscan monks to send him a barrel so that he could decide. Munich to Rome is about 1000 km, so when the beer arrived at the Vatican, it was spoiled. The pope took a sip of the beer, spat it out and declared "if they want to drink this, let them!"
 
kombat said:
Uhm, how exactly does one abstain from all exercise, drink 2 beers a night, and still lose 15 lbs?

Seriously... figure that out and you're sitting on a gold mine.
Click to expand...
You would be amazed at what a simple diet change can do. A couple years ago, I was eating fast food literally every work day for lunch (there's a McDonald's across the street from my office. When you get to the point that the staff makes your order when they see you walk through the door, it's time to change something). Just by cutting that out -- NOTHING else -- I lost 10 lbs in two weeks.

In his case, he cut out almost all pop (still had one can a day to help fight the withdrawal headaches), drank only light beers (that's most of what he drinks anyway), cut out any added sodium (and went for low sodium options when available), no fast food, and multiple healthy snacks through the day instead of a large lunch and supper. No junk food, etc.

A big problem we have is when we sit down to eat, we eat until we're not hungry anymore. If you leave a table feeling full, you ate too much; you should always be just a little bit hungry. Not "starving", but always have that little feeling of "Yeah, I could eat something right about now". When I've been able to stick to that, I've lost weight. The problem is when you're following that regiment, you need to keep ALL sweets and junk food around, because they're INCREDIBLY tempting then.


Edit to add: The first 5-10, maybe 15 pounds are easy - and fast - to lose with a simple diet change. Getting beyond that requires both the diet change and exercise.
 
gometz said:
Here's an old one that my grandmother told me long ago, not sure if it is true.

As we know, Doppelbocks were developed by Franciscan monks to be drunk during fasting time. They weren't allowed to eat food during these 40 days, so the nice and heavy Doppelbocks would sustain them. Well some of the other orders started questioning if this was cheating or not and approached the pope. The pope then asked the Franciscan monks to send him a barrel so that he could decide. Munich to Rome is about 1000 km, so when the beer arrived at the Vatican, it was spoiled. The pope took a sip of the beer, spat it out and declared "if they want to drink this, let them!"
Click to expand...

Seriously cool story, if it's true. BYO seems to agree with you: https://byo.com/stories/item/1503-the-sustaining-doppelbock#startOfPageId1503
 
dkwolf said:
...In his case, he cut out almost all pop (still had one can a day to help fight the withdrawal headaches), drank only light beers (that's most of what he drinks anyway), cut out any added sodium (and went for low sodium options when available), no fast food, and multiple healthy snacks through the day instead of a large lunch and supper. No junk food, etc...
Click to expand...

I need to do that, I'm not overweight or need to loss weight but my energy levels are so crap and I think it's due to the above!

And a now funny thing: I had a sample of a cider the other day, the smug sales rep, when she could see that I didn't like it from my face, said "oh you probably like a sweet cider don't you. This is what they call a dry cider."
My reply was, "No, I like a dry cider and this is quite sweet!"
I admit it wasn't sweet like aplejuice like some ciders, but it was a big brewery's cider that they obviously didn't want to scare away anyone with making it actually dry so they just made it dryer than their sweet one :D
 
I have only a small comment to add, but I think little background is needed to do it justice.

The wife and I drink a lot of water. Its pretty much all we drink when we're not drinking. I drink more craft and homebrew, but we both drink our share of mixed drinks, usually made very strong.

We used to drink Miller Lite, long ago, and I rarely will touch a light lager anymore. Neither of us are BMC bashers, we feel they have their purpose and place, we just dont drink them often. I will have a couple if I'm thirsty and dont want water, but usually when I drink them, its a social setting where I dont wanna get drunk (light lager, dont get drunk, go figure)

Anyway, we were staying in a hotel out of town, visiting family. Brought our usual arsenal of whiskey and cola, and I suggested we buy some Miller Lite, so we could have something else. Again, not wanting to get wasted, family to visit, things to do.

The morning we left, we're driving home and she says to me, "I woke up to feed the baby this morning, and I was SO THIRSTY....I almost drank one of those beers"

Maybe one of those, had to be there things, but that statement just tickled me. I was proud of my wife and her beer prowess.
 
gometz said:
I hate making them go through the whole list, especially since they normally have to go through 10 versions of BMC beers that I know I won't get.
Click to expand...

I would have interrupted her, but, once she got rolling, there was no way to stop that train wreck. I think it was just such a well rehearsed speech that there wasn't a pause where I could interject.
 
I had one a while ago that made me chuckle. We were at an Irish themed pub in Milwaukee after a brewer game. I asked the bartender if they had any stouts on tap, and he said they had Guinness and a new one from "some sheeps brewery". I was familiar with the local brewery (3 sheeps) he was referring to and was pumped because I didn't realize they had released a stout yet. To my disappointment it was not a stout at all. It was their black wheat, which I enjoy so no harm no foul. He comes back around and asks me "how's the stout?" So I politely informed him that, while it was a good beer, it was not a stout at all. He assured me that it was a stout because the bar manager told them it was and had them all try it when it came in.
I gave up after that and walked up to the bar and found out what else was on tap myself the rest of the night.
 
I was an an airport bar this AM, that happens to serve a small but decent collection of craft beer, and got to talking with the bartender about beer. She goes about telling me that while she loves the smell of Troegs hefe, she doesn't like the taste, "too hoppy!"

I managed to restrain my "well actually" long enough to figure out that she probably perceives a phenolic bitterness that disagrees with her personal set of taste buds...after that I broke the news that hefe isn't a particularly hoppy style!

Sent from my DROID RAZR HD using Home Brew mobile app
 
Went to eat at a semi chain brewery/restaurant wanted to see what seasonal was and was told it was somewhere between an amber ale and a porter. Well jeez don't back me into a corner with my choices. It was a weizenbock which they had plastered all over the promotional gear for the beer and he was even wearing the t-shirt.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Home Brew mobile app
 
Barley_Bob said:
A few weeks ago, my brother-in-law, Stefan, and I went into a bar and grill to get dinner. I went straight to the table, while he went to take his daughter to the restroom. We'd had a great day out hunting, but we were frozen through to the bone - we certainly needed a beer. Anyway, the waitress came straight to the table and asked what I wanted to drink.
"What do you have on tap?" I fired back.
"We don't have a tap."
I paused for a moment, but, undeterred, asked, "What do you have in bottles?"
"Sam Adams, Bud, Bud Light, Miller, Miller Light." I don't remember the full list, but she went on in a downward spiral long enough that it got pretty awkward.
Finally, she finished and I said, "... I'll have a Sam Adams."
So, she walks off just as Stefan came back to the table. He sat down, and here comes the waitress again to ask him what he wants to drink.
"What do you have on tap?" he asks, and, as he does, I start to grin.
"We don't have a tap."
"What do you have in bottles?"
And, sure enough, here comes the whole list again in the exact same order. I can see Stefan getting sucked down the exact same vortex of despair.
Finally, she finishes the whole terrible list and he says, "... I'll have a Sam Adams."
I just started laughing. I wonder how many times that waitress had that exact same conversation.
Click to expand...

Oh believe me I have been there many a time. It just gets more and more awkward as they quickly rattle off their various BMC light lagers, and the Mexican BMC-ish cervesas. Finally they almost invariably start slowing down their speech and give you an inquisitive look like "are you even paying attention? Are you going to pick one?" as they wind down to the slightly better (and oddly enough less commonly chosen) beers on the list. And I feel bad for them just giving them a blank stare in return, listening for the least objectionable option they have.

I wish they would just immediately answer the beer question with "do you like cheap lagers or do you want to hear about the few other weird beers that we have that I have absolutely no familiarity with?"
 
[QUOTE I wish they would just immediately answer the beer question with "do you like cheap lagers or do you want to hear about the few other weird beers that we have that I have absolutely no familiarity with?"[/QUOTE]


Need to ask which ones they wouldn't drink. That would probably get you in the right neighborhood. Or tell them you want something that will make your mouth pucker, or that you can't see through.
 
I was at a growler shop in Houston and noticed they had a Karbach Double Dry Hopped IPA on tap.

I asked them for a sample. The girl behind the counter said "This is going to be really, really, bitter, like a lot more bitter than the normal IPA." I said "Why? I thought dry hopping was to add hop aroma and avoid the bitterness altogether" She goes "Oh yeah, the difference is *dried* hops will make a beer a lot more bitter. Most breweries use fresh hops, not dried ones. Fresh ones don't have the same bitterness".

She thought "Dry hopped" meant "Dried hops"... I tried to explain to her that it was just a method of adding hops in secondary but she kind of blanked out and got defensive. How do you, as a customer, explain to the purveyor of beer at a craft beer growler shop that they are wildly wrong about something? Awkward situation.
 
Conman13 said:
How do you, as a customer, explain to the purveyor of beer at a craft beer growler shop that they are wildly wrong about something? Awkward situation.
Click to expand...

I had the same kind of situation this past weekend. Went to a growler place, with some 40 beers on tap, and I know the owner knows his stuff. He had some fool behind the counter, explaining to the lady beside me about how it's important to get this growler home and in the fridge soon, 'cause if it gets warm then cold again, and such, it'll get skunky and smell like skunk musk.

The look I gave him was probably hilarious, and I was tempted to correct him so the lady wouldn't worry unnecessarily about skunking, but I held my tongue. I was next in line to be served by this tool, after all.
 
GuldTuborg said:
I had the same kind of situation this past weekend. Went to a growler place, with some 40 beers on tap, and I know the owner knows his stuff. He had some fool behind the counter, explaining to the lady beside me about how it's important to get this growler home and in the fridge soon, 'cause if it gets warm then cold again, and such, it'll get skunky and smell like skunk musk.
Click to expand...
I've heard this far too many times. Where do people get these ideas from?
 
Conman13 said:
I was at a growler shop in Houston and noticed they had a Karbach Double Dry Hopped IPA on tap.

I asked them for a sample. The girl behind the counter said "This is going to be really, really, bitter, like a lot more bitter than the normal IPA." I said "Why? I thought dry hopping was to add hop aroma and avoid the bitterness altogether" She goes "Oh yeah, the difference is *dried* hops will make a beer a lot more bitter. Most breweries use fresh hops, not dried ones. Fresh ones don't have the same bitterness".

She thought "Dry hopped" meant "Dried hops"... I tried to explain to her that it was just a method of adding hops in secondary but she kind of blanked out and got defensive. How do you, as a customer, explain to the purveyor of beer at a craft beer growler shop that they are wildly wrong about something? Awkward situation.
Click to expand...
Woah wait, where is there a growler shop in Houston?
 
a guy told me yesterday he loves Bocks, but they are hard to get because they are only on the bottom of the lagering tank, and they only collect it when they are going clean the tank after 4 or 5 brews

I just looked at him, shook my head and said, "what a shame"

he agreed
 
In the beer aisle the other day and a fellow patron pointing to Flying Dog Old Scratch amber lager asks me if I had ever drank it?
Me: nope, why? What's it taste like?
him: he thinks for a second and says "you ever forgot a binger and let it sit on the side of the grill and then 3-4 days later take a swig after its been sitting in the sun? "
Me: really? (Alot of disbelief on my face, I'm afraid of bad beer combined with cigarette butts or it being used as a spit bottle, I've seen my brother drink cigg butts by accident and I almost puked for him, but instead composed myself and laughed)
Him: that's exactly what it tastes like!
Me: I cannot say I've ever had to drink a 3 day old binger baking in the sun man, what kinda beer do you like cold and fresh? What's good?
Him: Heineken! The good imported stuff!
Me: I recommended he give Stella a try, he said sure as he grabbed some premixed daquiri mix and left.

I understand accidents, but who would drink that grill binger? He said it like it was common practice for him.

On a side note flying dog brews two lagers according to their website, google their website, the address ends with "ales", just saying....

The most recent review on beer advocate for old scratch amber lager goes into great depth and then the reviewer ends with the quote:"
Looking for a good Amber Ale? This could be your beer!"

Just saying...
 

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