The anti-halloween thread.

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sonofgrok

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I hate Halloween. I hate it. The only time I ever liked it was back in my college days because chicks wore slutty costumes and we threw mad parties.

I live in a neighborhood that people have decided is Halloween friendly. Parents from all over town literally bus (not joking) their kids into my neighborhood to trick or treat. The population in my neighborhood quadruples on this one night a year.

Now the first 2 years after we moved here, we tried to be good sports about the whole thing. We bought full size candy bars, were super friendly, and all that bullsh!t. You know what we got in return? Kids being ********. I cannot tell you how many kids are just jerks when you give them candy. Add that in with going through $50 worth of candy in 30 minutes, the doorbell every two seconds freaking my dogs out, and the ungrateful little sh!ts smashing up my yard and bitching about only being allowed one fullsize candybar or one handful of candy... I am done. No more Halloween at my house. Now, the lights stay off and the doorbell gets taped up.

Oh, people still come to the door and try to knock and even jiggle the handle. 4 years of this so far and I still dread every Halloween. Its like night of the living poorly raised children... my own personal hell...

Grrrrrrr.
Yes, I am a bitter bastard.
 
LOL Wow!

What you need to do is have fun with it. Dress up like a scarecrow, wear dark glasses, ski cap, hat, bulky clothing to obscure your breathing. Sit motionless on your porch with a sign hung around your neck stating "please take only one."

If the kid takes one, remain motionless and say goodbye to the kid after he is a good 10-20 feet away... Just a little startle. But if they try to take more than one, jerk violently and shout in your best demonic voice, "I SAID TAKE ONLY ONE!!!!!"

It's hilarious. You will have the older kids (the worst of the brats), literally ****ting their pants!!! It makes Halloween worth it for me.
 
+100
My wife and kids have been upset with me about this for years. I don't participate. The family used to go off and do the neighborhood tour and leave me at the house with the understanding that I would answer the door pass out candy. Never happened, as soon as they left, off went the outside lights. Yet none of them would miss out on collecting their own treats and watch the door at home. Annoying, and the family calls me "grumpy old fart" and "don't you like to see all the little children in their costumes?" No, I don't.
 
I do remember one year, this really sweet kid came up with his dad. For some reason my MIL had bought us a bunch of raisin boxes to hand out that year and of course none of the kids were taking them. This kid got genuinely excited "Oh yay raisins! Thank you so much sir." His dad looked genuinely embarrassed. Me: "Sure kid. Here is a whole bag of them.". The kid looked like he might just pass out from genuine ecstasy.
 
One year when I was young and single, my roommate and I decided to embrace Halloween. We made some really horrible pumpkins and I just shoved candles through the sides of the pumpkin, dripped fake blood around the incisions asnd lit them on fire. We had death metal playing and when he answered the door, i stood in the background wearing an evil costume and stared at them crazy.

We got three trick or treaters. I heard several kids crying to their parents "But I don;t want to go to that house"
 
I do remember one year, this really sweet kid came up with his dad. For some reason my MIL had bought us a bunch of raisin boxes to hand out that year and of course none of the kids were taking them. This kid got genuinely excited "Oh yay raisins! Thank you so much sir." His dad looked genuinely embarrassed. Me: "Sure kid. Here is a whole bag of them.". The kid looked like he might just pass out from genuine ecstasy.

:cross:
 
I do remember one year, this really sweet kid came up with his dad. For some reason my MIL had bought us a bunch of raisin boxes to hand out that year and of course none of the kids were taking them. This kid got genuinely excited "Oh yay raisins! Thank you so much sir." His dad looked genuinely embarrassed. Me: "Sure kid. Here is a whole bag of them.". The kid looked like he might just pass out from genuine ecstasy.

I like this kid! :)
 
We still have Halloween decorations up from last year. And there's no way I'm taking down zombie garden gnome this year. We hung the spooks in the tree yesterday and are carving another jack-o-lantern tonight.

We'll be handing out DEs and straights all night too.

I mean candy. Totally safe candy.
 
This is going to be my first Halloween in the new neighborhood, so we'll see how this plays out. SWMBO bought a bunch of candy to hand out, but I usually don't give a **** about handing out candy. I'd rather just sit on the couch drinking beer all night. First kid that gives me **** about not getting enough candy, lights out. My actual light, not like punching the kid or anything. Unless they really deserve it.
 
Im a holiday grinch, 12 years of retail management for a national drugstore chain (won't name names) but when you deal with the same inventory (from here on out will be referred to as crap) year to year. You can literally go through a stockroom and know what crap is in what cheap Chinese box just by the size of it. Every year this time listening to 30 customers (from here on out refered to as idiots) a day saying "isn't it a little early for Christmas", really your the first idiot to say that to me in 12 years.

The only holidays I enjoy are turkey day (two family's that like their drinks and tons of good food), and New Years (relaxing at home with good homebrew and my good friends)

Your not a miser.
 
+1
the only thing I enjoy about the holidays is the food. when I was 20 I moved to the opposite side of the country from my family so I haven't had a holiday with my family in 14 years. if it wasn't for my wife and kids I wouldn't do nothing for the holidays.
 
I used to love halloween. It was the 1 day/night of the year you could be anyone or anything you wanted to be. It was always in good fun, even the scary stuff. There used to be halloween parties where everyone would be in costume & most people didn't know exactly who each other were, which made pickups more interesting; though you could still always tell males from females.

Even without the costumes, there were the harvest parties or barn dances. Lots of food, fun, games & music; not to mention beer & cider. There were still hookups, but you always knew a bit more without the costume.

Even as a kid, it was a time to pretend to be a witch, superhero or monster, get candy, have fun & no harm done. It was simple: no porchlight on=don't knock/ring.
Sometimes you played tricks on the dicks in the neighborhood, but they always deserved it.

When I 1st moved to the NW, I bought about $30 worth of halloween candy to hand out to the trick or treaters, carved a jack o' lantern, turned the porchlight on & popped a HUGE bowl of popcorn, settled in to watch scary movies & wait for the doorbell to ring...

Not 1 trick or treater. not one. In 17 years, not one trick or treater has rung my doorbell. I quit buying cndy & waiting for them after the 1st year, but I'm still just a little disappointed. I used to decorate & dressup in scary costumes to hand out candy, I thought it was fun; it was the adult version of trick or treating. Now nobody seems to want to have fun anymore. No parties, no trick or treat, no nothing.

Now I buy about $10 worth of candy & eat it from Halloween to Christmas. I might watch a scary movie on Halloween, I might not; mostly I work or sleep. My girlfriend doesn't even dressup in slutty costumes anymore. Used to be (for me at least) Halloween was 2nd only to Christmas in the amount of fun to be had. Now modern society has killed it. Christmas is next, though it's been on life support for years.
That's my 2 cents worth. Happy Halloween folkes.
Regards, GF.
 
The only trick or treaters we get are my girlfriend's bratty little cousin. They didn't even bother to dress up last year and came to collect their candy on the 30th.

I would like to have genuine little kids come to the door, but it'll never happen since the house is on a little private street and you can't see it from the road.
 
We normally get 150 kids or so, except for last year when it was raining. People bus their kids in here too. However, I still give out good candy. What I don't get is that there is not Mischief Night on the 30th here in VA. That was more fun than Halloween!
 
I like to hide in the bushes with a chainsaw (chain removed). Our neighborhood is fairly nice but pretty close to some less desirable areas. I let the little kids and anyone who is acting as they should make their way to the door, but the thugs and older teens (who aren't with little kids) get the crap scared out of them.

What makes it better is that one of my saws had the muffler gutted and is ported so it makes quite a bit of noise.
 
This is going to be my first Halloween in the new neighborhood, so we'll see how this plays out. SWMBO bought a bunch of candy to hand out, but I usually don't give a **** about handing out candy. I'd rather just sit on the couch drinking beer all night. First kid that gives me **** about not getting enough candy, lights out. My actual light, not like punching the kid or anything. Unless they really deserve it.

Your going about it wrong....I sit on the front porch drinking beer and hand out candy. Make a drinking game out of it. Each kid is a swallow. Makes for a lot more interesting night. Sometimes it's nice to even have a fire going.
 
We get about 130 kids or so. I don't mind it at all, cept after 9 pm. About 4 hours (5-9) is enough. But I used to enjoy it as a kid, why shouldn't these kids be able to?
 
We spend 364 days of the year telling our precious children to not talk to strangers, AND to never take candy from strangers. I dont understand why its ok one night a year.

Halloween has only really became a big deal in NZ in the last few years, I wish it never had.
 
I like to hide in the bushes with a chainsaw (chain removed). Our neighborhood is fairly nice but pretty close to some less desirable areas. I let the little kids and anyone who is acting as they should make their way to the door, but the thugs and older teens (who aren't with little kids) get the crap scared out of them.

What makes it better is that one of my saws had the muffler gutted and is ported so it makes quite a bit of noise.

That's the spirit! :rockin:
 
Can you believe I dont have too much to complain about regarding halloween? Nevermind the slutty costumes, it always annoyed me when some guy would bring his wife to a party wearing two cocktail napkins and then want to get froggy with the guys who look at her, I mean the for-kids stuff.

We lower three buckets down from out second story balcony. If the kids choose the right buckets they get one of two kinds of candy (purchased from RiteAid in the big "mixture" bags). If they choose wrong they get frozen brussels sprouts. No buckets are lowered without a "trick or treat!" unless you too young to speak or have autism (happened last year) but then the adults get to "play". Two years ago the police stopped by to make sure the herd of costumed youngsters storming the castle to get candy wasnt a riot of some sort. Good times.
 
We get about 130 kids or so. I don't mind it at all, cept after 9 pm. About 4 hours (5-9) is enough. But I used to enjoy it as a kid, why shouldn't these kids be able to?

That really is how I feel about it. I did have fun with Halloween as a kid. Dressing up, running around in the street like a fool, getting candy and seeing all the pageantry of it.

And in some small way, it feels good to know the community can get along and participate in something together, even if just ceremonial, and not poison each other.
 
I shut the lights off and close the curtains. In four years; no one has knocked. We have three dogs and it's just not reasonable to have being ringing the bell and knocking all night. This year we'll set out some candy on a table with some decorations....That's as far as we go. I do like the holiday though. I love fall and fall decorations.
 
Last year I was replacing my sewer main, so I had a huge trench & pile of dirt next to the door, with hazard tape & caution signs, and some creepy work lights. Thought the timing was great and people would think I did it just for Halloween, and be impressed with my effort.

Nope. Guess it was too much effort for kids to walk around the trench and we watched every single kid take a look at our house, then keep walking. Seriously? Some parents even nervously shuffled their kids past our house. I don't get it. Oh well, more candy for me.
 
I used to love Halloween. Now the kids are getting older. My young one isn't even dressing up as far as I know. We live on the edge of town. Not very close to where the "Action" is for candy. I would rather dress up and walk the kids around than sit at home handing out candy. Even my wife switched to dressing up and walking around after so very few people showed up at the door.

I think a scary movie (mini) marathon is in order this year. I bet my daughter has not seen Nightmare on Elm Street (the cool 80's version) yet.
 
I like to hide in the bushes with a chainsaw (chain removed). Our neighborhood is fairly nice but pretty close to some less desirable areas. I let the little kids and anyone who is acting as they should make their way to the door, but the thugs and older teens (who aren't with little kids) get the crap scared out of them.

What makes it better is that one of my saws had the muffler gutted and is ported so it makes quite a bit of noise.

I was taking my 2 year old nephew around to a few houses last year. He was scared and still not in the groove of walking up to a strangers house. So we are at about the 3rd house, walking up their sidewalk. This redneck jumps out of the bushes with his chainsaw (chain removed). I immediately think, great... he is going to scare the $#!@ out of Joseph and he won't want to trick or treat for the rest of his life. But the guy proceeds to pull the starter cord a half dozen times and floods the carb. He then THROWS the chainsaw across the yard in disgust. I laughed. He turns and looks at me and yells through his mask "F#$% You". I threw up my arms like dude there is a 2 year old right here. So we go to the next house, Joseph is standing with a big group of kids on the doorstep. An old lady is giving them candy and Joseph says "F#$% You". Great. End of the evening for him. Thanks alot redneck with the POS chainsaw and foul mouth.

Happy halloween you grumpy old men.
 
I was taking my 2 year old nephew around to a few houses last year. He was scared and still not in the groove of walking up to a strangers house. So we are at about the 3rd house, walking up their sidewalk. This redneck jumps out of the bushes with his chainsaw (chain removed). I immediately think, great... he is going to scare the $#!@ out of Joseph and he won't want to trick or treat for the rest of his life. But the guy proceeds to pull the starter cord a half dozen times and floods the carb. He then THROWS the chainsaw across the yard in disgust. I laughed. He turns and looks at me and yells through his mask "F#$% You". I threw up my arms like dude there is a 2 year old right here. So we go to the next house, Joseph is standing with a big group of kids on the doorstep. An old lady is giving them candy and Joseph says "F#$% You". Great. End of the evening for him. Thanks alot redneck with the POS chainsaw and foul mouth.

Happy halloween you grumpy old men.

Forgive me for laughing at this
 
I was taking my 2 year old nephew around to a few houses last year. He was scared and still not in the groove of walking up to a strangers house. So we are at about the 3rd house, walking up their sidewalk. This redneck jumps out of the bushes with his chainsaw (chain removed). I immediately think, great... he is going to scare the $#!@ out of Joseph and he won't want to trick or treat for the rest of his life. But the guy proceeds to pull the starter cord a half dozen times and floods the carb. He then THROWS the chainsaw across the yard in disgust. I laughed. He turns and looks at me and yells through his mask "F#$% You". I threw up my arms like dude there is a 2 year old right here. So we go to the next house, Joseph is standing with a big group of kids on the doorstep. An old lady is giving them candy and Joseph says "F#$% You". Great. End of the evening for him. Thanks alot redneck with the POS chainsaw and foul mouth.

Happy halloween you grumpy old men.

Hey, I didn't appreciate the way you were laughing at me!!! :mad:
 
I was taking my 2 year old nephew around to a few houses last year. He was scared and still not in the groove of walking up to a strangers house. So we are at about the 3rd house, walking up their sidewalk. This redneck jumps out of the bushes with his chainsaw (chain removed). I immediately think, great... he is going to scare the $#!@ out of Joseph and he won't want to trick or treat for the rest of his life. But the guy proceeds to pull the starter cord a half dozen times and floods the carb. He then THROWS the chainsaw across the yard in disgust. I laughed. He turns and looks at me and yells through his mask "F#$% You". I threw up my arms like dude there is a 2 year old right here. So we go to the next house, Joseph is standing with a big group of kids on the doorstep. An old lady is giving them candy and Joseph says "F#$% You". Great. End of the evening for him. Thanks alot redneck with the POS chainsaw and foul mouth.

Happy halloween you grumpy old men.

Does he live in NYC?? I think that's pretty much SOP for NYC.
 
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