Stone Cold Lead Pipe Lock'd N00b Advice

When it comes to meaningful posts, less is more.

...you're not getting paid by the letter...

If your post is meant to be tongue-in-cheek, sarcastic or otherwise witty, use the smileys. That's what they're there for...

See what I mean...

No homebrewer ever stopped kegging and went back to bottling.

No sanitizer is best. Some will fit your process better than others.

Poindexter said:

No sanitizer is best. Some will fit your process better than others.

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But regardless of your preference, use a sanitizer, preferably a good one. "Clean" is never clean enough for bacteria, don't trust soap.

It is important to be familiar with beer styles so you can talk to other people who also know beer styles.

Spell check.

Informal/conversational writing is fine, but use capital letters and punctuation.

DON'T use txt-spk.

Though it may seem nit-picky, following this simple advice will result in better answers to your questions.

And don't start a thread with ambiguous titles like:

Should I ...

Can I do this ...

Will this work ...

Or especially the queen bee of all worthless thread titles:

Question...

Pay attention to style as a means to learn and develop your brewing palate, not as a straightjacket for nazi brewer wanna-bes.

QUESTION...

Controlling fermentation temperatures are important in preventing unexpected flavors. Find out what your yeast requires, and do it.

Yes you should take hydrometer readings. No you won't hurt your beer opening the bucket to draw your samples.

Remember there's a cushion of co2 protecting your beer. Just be conscious of how/where you set down your lid while drawing your sample set it on clean paper towels, or just half on you bucket.

Or better yet have someone help you. Sanitize both sets of hands, your hydrometer and wine theif or turkey baster, have a friend open the bucket...drop your theif or turkeybaster in and draw a sample, then have friend slam lid down...

You Should be able to do it in less than 30 seconds.

BierMuncher said:

And don't start a thread with ambiguous titles like:

Should I ...

Can I do this ...

Will this work ...

Or especially the queen bee of all worthless thread titles:

Question...

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Stone Cold Lead Pipe?

read this
http://cruisenews.net/brewing/index.php

Yes that sulphur/rotten eggs/Elephant or Rhino Fart smell coming off your batch of Ed Wort's Apfelwein is normal. If you read his comments in the first couple posts on his thread, he mantions that it happens often.

It will dissipate in a few days...

All is well.

All you need to know about sanitizind with Starsan or Iodophor can be found here;

http://www.basicbrewing.com/index.php?page=basic-brewing-radio-2007

Scroll down til you see these episodes.

March 29, 2007 - Sanitizing with Bleach and Star San
Charlie Talley from Five Star Chemicals tells us best practices in using household bleach and Star San in sanitizing equipment.

March 22, 2007 - Sanitizing with Iodophor
Murl Landman of National Chemicals talks to us about sanitization techniques in general and using Iodophor specifically.

The internet is cool but it is better to go and physically speak to someone. Go to a brewery tour, a brew pub, local homebrew store (LHBS) and talk to anyone about anything related to beer.

If you don't have on of those everyone has a friend of a friend of a friend that brews. If they are local go and talk to them.

Also shaking a fermenter to aerate can lead to disaster and O2 systems can be expensive for a noob. You can use a sanitized whisk to get the job done easily.

The bottlers mantra...

21 days at 70 degrees...
21 days at 70 degrees...
21 days at 70 degrees...
21 days at 70 degrees...
21 days at 70 degrees...

No less, no cooler...

Otherwise, that's why your beer is flat.

Just wait.

Your best friend is your hydrometer.

If it reads 1.000 submerged in distilled water at 60F your friend is being honest with you.

Gammon N Beer said:

If it reads 1.000 submerged in distilled water at 60F your friend is being honest with you.

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It's like a polygraph, only cheaper, and no hurting your friends' feelings

Get a long-handled metal stirring spoon. Don't bother with those plastic ones that come with kits. My first couple batches had trace amounts of scorched plastic from the thing burning up against the bottom of the pot.

The best bottle in your batch will be the last one. The worst will be the first one, and it will be great.

Some brewers never use hydrometers and still make great beer.

There is only one hard and fast rule (and even this one has exceptions): Sanitize everything thoroughly.

Everyone who uses plastic fermenters has pushed the o-ring through the top and into the filled fermenter at least once. Don't worry, your beer will be fine. Keep an extra o-ring handy for the next time.

You can change any recipe from one style of malt to another. Meaning if you find an AG recipe you like, but want to replicate it as an Extract you can. If you don't like working with liquid malt extract (LME) and want to convert it to dry malt extract (DME) you can use the following formulas.

LME to DME * 0.89
DME to LME * 1.10

And for those that want to convert an all grain:
1lb Base grain = 0.67lb DME = 0.75lb LME

Don't post the same question in two different sub-forums at the same time. One post will suffice.

There are many tables out there that give great descriptions of all the malts and hops you want for your brew. Run a search for several different types and you'll get tons of references.

Northern Brewer has some great descriptions on their website as well. Read through it to familiarize yourself with the characteristics of different malts/hops.

NB Grains

NB Hop Pellets

c.n.budz said:

Read this. Actually, read it a couple times

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Read it a couple times, then hold on to it and refer back to it whenever you're not sure about something. Suddenly what was confusing on the first read makes perfect sense!

Don't post another, "what should I brew next?" thread - they're annoying and often very ambiguous. Find a style you like and brew a beer in that style. Once you decide upon a style, feel free to ask for help with a recipe.

We're not here to make hooch so don't ask us how to do it.

If you're a teenager looking for a way to make a batch of Bud without your mom finding out, go away.

Don't use leet or texting lingo in your posts. It's hard to read and just makes you seem lazy.

Home brewed beer won't make you go blind.

If you're thinking of adding fruit to your first batch of beer, don't.

Keep your brews simple and brew styles you already know you like until you get more comfortable with the brewing process.

I would suggest getting a book of clone brews. In fact, I got the book called Clone Brews. I personally thought it was beneficial for me to use a few recipes out of this book of my favorite beers. That way when they were finished, I could taste them against bottles of my favorites and see how well I did. You can compare color, smell, taste, hoppiness/sweetness, etc this way. If I tasted something different, then I could check HBT for reasons why and correct it for the next attempt.

Pick up a copy of one of the many brew books out there. Yes that is right, Read! Oh my god, why would I buy a hard copy of something, when I can bug the hell out of people about on the internet? Books are our friend. Here is a hint if you don't know where this phrase comes from... go find out where.

"Relax, don't worry, have a homebrew!"

:rockin:

Read "How to Brew" every 4 months for a year while brewing. Every time you will understand something else and/or the same things better. And keep it close as a reference - even when you think you know the answers.

NWernBrewer said:

Read "How to Brew" every 4 months for a year while brewing. Every time you will understand something else and/or the same things better. And keep it close as a reference - even when you think you know the answers.

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I had How to Brew open the entire time during my first AG session.

When in doubt, wait.

• Worried your beer is infected? Wait.
• Worried your yeast is unhealthy? Wait.
• Worried about whether you can transfer to a conditioning tank (secondary) yet? Wait.
• Worried about whether you can bottle yet? Wait
• Worried your beer is still too green to drink? Wait.

Learning to wait, be patient, and allow your captive yeast to do their job on their own time will improve your beer more than nearly anything else. Just wait it out. There is no problem leaving your beer in the primary for 3-5 weeks, and you are more likely to get better beer.

If a member with 1500+ posts offers you advice

LISTEN TO IT !!!!! and DO IT !!!!!!

99% of the time they are right !!!!!!!!

One more:

Yeah, it's not exactly the color you hoped for. Chances are, it is darker than you expected. Don't sweat it - what matters is the taste.