PistolsAtDawn
Well-Known Member
Roommates are miserable hell spawn sometimes. WTF is wrong with some people!? My girlfriend has now had TWO roommates in a row who help themselves to anything in the house, food in particular.
I know what you're thinking already: she makes poor choices in roommates. You're half right. The first one was an awful, ill-conceived choice. He really was a miserable POS. Never had rent on time, ate anything in the house, never bought any of his own groceries, never helped clean up.... the list goes on.
When he'd moved out, another guy moved in. Now this second guy wasn't a stranger to me. I'd met him several times. We'd gone to dinner, out for drinks. He seemed all right by all accounts. He talked about the things he does as a roommate - all the right stuff said there. He was employed at a good company in good position. He paid rent up front as soon as he'd moved in, and he initially did a lot of yard work (and nobody even asked him to do so since what he did was nice but unnecessary).
I don't know if the guy has emotional problems or not. I think he does. Sadly, I think it's from being in combat (he's a veteran). Something really off with him, which will be covered later in this rant. Initially, he was always hanging around my girlfriend and I. Very buddy, buddy. Everything needed to be a group activity with him, including sharing groceries. That was fine for a while. He seemed nice and he wasn't awful to be around or anything like that, and he bought the shared groceries when it was his turn. I have to say that I would never share groceries with a roommate, but it wasn't my living situation.
After a while, it got to the point where we had to make it obvious that the two of us were going to go do something as a couple without him because otherwise he seemed to assume that he was invited. That should be reasonable. But thus started a change in his personality. He started going out and getting drunk on a regular basis (and yes, driving too), stopped doing anything to help out around the house, stopped buying his own groceries and started eating my girlfriend's food.
She told him that she wasn't interested in sharing food anymore and he needed to buy his own stuff because he was no longer keeping up with buying things when it was his turn. Okay, says he.
Now, my girlfriend has a heart of gold - to a fault, unfortunately. She let this go on for too long before saying anything. Unfortunately, nothing changed. The only positive thing I can say about him living there is that he pays his rent on time and in full. She's asked him to stop using her tools, stop eating her food, help out with keeping the house clean, etc. Nothing changed.
So recently when she confronted him about using her tools yet again after she'd said he needs to ask, he blew up. He said he was >this< close to moving out because he was tired of being accused of things, that I was a ********* (admittedly he might be right, but that's just uncalled for) and he didn't appreciate me "getting in his face" about his habits. I certainly did no such thing. I sat down with him outside while he was smoking a cigarette (NOT stolen from my girlfriend for a change!) and explained to him that I was tired of my girlfriend stressing out about this stuff since her stress becomes my stress, and that makes it my business too. Simple conversation and no drama there.
Well, when she told me the way he'd reacted to her, I stomped outside to where he was working on his car WITH her tools still in his hands and told him that if he had something to say to me, he'd better say it to my face. I called him on his BS when he claimed he wasn't doing anything and I told him that yes, he should move out. And then I went back inside. I was actually fairly proud that I'd kept my head as well as I had. The total exchange lasted less than a minute.
He says he's planning on being out by the 15th of July since that's 30 days since the conversation occurred. By SC state law, he has to have a minimum of that amount of time to move. Fine. Nothing we can do about that, BUT he's STILL eating her food and helping himself to whatever else he wants. AND lying about it when confronted. Milk doesn't open and drink half of itself.
What worries me is that he's not emotionally stable. The GF told me that he actually followed a girl he was seeing after she stopped returning his calls/texts, and he actually walked up to her car and knocked on the window when she was out with another guy. So he told my GF anyway, seemingly clueless that he'd done anything wrong. He also likes to get all handsy with girls he's just met in bars, rubbing their shoulders in a very familiar way. He's a creepy dude sometimes.
Legally, we can't change the locks on him and put his stuff outside. But I want him to know that I won't tolerate him screwing with my girlfriend. He's stealing from her! It may be petty theft, but it's theft all the same. She's killing herself trying to open a catering business right now and this is the last thing she needs to worry about since she can hardly afford to live while she's got no income.
I'm thinking of putting laxatives in some select, but known to us, food items in the house. Talking to him has thus far been useless.
What would you do?
I know what you're thinking already: she makes poor choices in roommates. You're half right. The first one was an awful, ill-conceived choice. He really was a miserable POS. Never had rent on time, ate anything in the house, never bought any of his own groceries, never helped clean up.... the list goes on.
When he'd moved out, another guy moved in. Now this second guy wasn't a stranger to me. I'd met him several times. We'd gone to dinner, out for drinks. He seemed all right by all accounts. He talked about the things he does as a roommate - all the right stuff said there. He was employed at a good company in good position. He paid rent up front as soon as he'd moved in, and he initially did a lot of yard work (and nobody even asked him to do so since what he did was nice but unnecessary).
I don't know if the guy has emotional problems or not. I think he does. Sadly, I think it's from being in combat (he's a veteran). Something really off with him, which will be covered later in this rant. Initially, he was always hanging around my girlfriend and I. Very buddy, buddy. Everything needed to be a group activity with him, including sharing groceries. That was fine for a while. He seemed nice and he wasn't awful to be around or anything like that, and he bought the shared groceries when it was his turn. I have to say that I would never share groceries with a roommate, but it wasn't my living situation.
After a while, it got to the point where we had to make it obvious that the two of us were going to go do something as a couple without him because otherwise he seemed to assume that he was invited. That should be reasonable. But thus started a change in his personality. He started going out and getting drunk on a regular basis (and yes, driving too), stopped doing anything to help out around the house, stopped buying his own groceries and started eating my girlfriend's food.
She told him that she wasn't interested in sharing food anymore and he needed to buy his own stuff because he was no longer keeping up with buying things when it was his turn. Okay, says he.
Now, my girlfriend has a heart of gold - to a fault, unfortunately. She let this go on for too long before saying anything. Unfortunately, nothing changed. The only positive thing I can say about him living there is that he pays his rent on time and in full. She's asked him to stop using her tools, stop eating her food, help out with keeping the house clean, etc. Nothing changed.
So recently when she confronted him about using her tools yet again after she'd said he needs to ask, he blew up. He said he was >this< close to moving out because he was tired of being accused of things, that I was a ********* (admittedly he might be right, but that's just uncalled for) and he didn't appreciate me "getting in his face" about his habits. I certainly did no such thing. I sat down with him outside while he was smoking a cigarette (NOT stolen from my girlfriend for a change!) and explained to him that I was tired of my girlfriend stressing out about this stuff since her stress becomes my stress, and that makes it my business too. Simple conversation and no drama there.
Well, when she told me the way he'd reacted to her, I stomped outside to where he was working on his car WITH her tools still in his hands and told him that if he had something to say to me, he'd better say it to my face. I called him on his BS when he claimed he wasn't doing anything and I told him that yes, he should move out. And then I went back inside. I was actually fairly proud that I'd kept my head as well as I had. The total exchange lasted less than a minute.
He says he's planning on being out by the 15th of July since that's 30 days since the conversation occurred. By SC state law, he has to have a minimum of that amount of time to move. Fine. Nothing we can do about that, BUT he's STILL eating her food and helping himself to whatever else he wants. AND lying about it when confronted. Milk doesn't open and drink half of itself.
What worries me is that he's not emotionally stable. The GF told me that he actually followed a girl he was seeing after she stopped returning his calls/texts, and he actually walked up to her car and knocked on the window when she was out with another guy. So he told my GF anyway, seemingly clueless that he'd done anything wrong. He also likes to get all handsy with girls he's just met in bars, rubbing their shoulders in a very familiar way. He's a creepy dude sometimes.
Legally, we can't change the locks on him and put his stuff outside. But I want him to know that I won't tolerate him screwing with my girlfriend. He's stealing from her! It may be petty theft, but it's theft all the same. She's killing herself trying to open a catering business right now and this is the last thing she needs to worry about since she can hardly afford to live while she's got no income.
I'm thinking of putting laxatives in some select, but known to us, food items in the house. Talking to him has thus far been useless.
What would you do?
