Messing with SWMBO

Williams 728
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PistolsAtDawn said:
I just won't speak to her for a long while rather than get some sort of revenge. I just won't sink to her level, which is most likely the reason why she did it in the first place: a sick way to keep me in her life by making me angry at her.
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Good point. Never listen to my advice about dealing with people... its usually "never speak to them again".
 
CreamyGoodness said:
Good point. Never listen to my advice about dealing with people... its usually "never speak to them again".
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Ha. Well, that would be an option if not for the fact that she got to be good friends with one of my oldest friend's now-fiance. So while I don't expect to never see her again, I did make it abundantly clear that I was very angry with her for her behavior and it would be a good long while before I wanted to see or speak to her again.

Back to the topic of this thread: I actually owed her a really good prank. She scared the bejebus out of me one time by hiding around a corner and jumping out at me after a particularly long and frustrating day. That was the one time she managed to startle me. And lord how she tried so many other times, but I always saw it coming.

Now I wish I'd have gotten her back for that before we broke up rather than saving it up for something perfect. Oh well.
 
beaksnbeer said:
Had a friend jerk off and put it in his ex's toothpaste tube. She let her friends and the movers drink all his brew while he was on the road. (we did Rubber Extruded Press installs) :drunk:
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A guy on my floor in Air Force tech school did that to his roommates shampoo bottle over the period of a couple weeks.
 
USAFSooner said:
A guy on my floor in Air Force tech school did that to his roommates shampoo bottle over the period of a couple weeks.
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That reminds me of an absolute classic SWMBO prank... Nair in the shampoo bottle. Hilarious!
 
Sometimes ill brew her coffee with a tin of skoal. Boy howdy is that a lark. Even better if she's hung over
 
Wife is maid-of-honor in a wedding tomorrow. We don't have a printer at home, so she just forwarded me her speech to print off a couple copies for her here at work.

Replaced some words in there with 'penis'. Should be funny tomorrow, we'll see.

Some classics: "Another night of great penis thanks to Lisa!", and "She had fallen on her penis and broken it."
 
paulster2626 said:
Wife is maid-of-honor in a wedding tomorrow. We don't have a printer at home, so she just forwarded me her speech to print off a couple copies for her here at work.

Replaced some words in there with 'penis'. Should be funny tomorrow, we'll see.

Some classics: "Another night of great penis thanks to Lisa!", and "She had fallen on her penis and broken it."
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Wow that's hilarious. Though you might want to find a really good divorce attorney.
 
paulster2626 said:
Wife is maid-of-honor in a wedding tomorrow. We don't have a printer at home, so she just forwarded me her speech to print off a couple copies for her here at work.

Replaced some words in there with 'penis'. Should be funny tomorrow, we'll see.

Some classics: "Another night of great penis thanks to Lisa!", and "She had fallen on her penis and broken it."
Click to expand...

I've pulled many wedding pranks like the soles of the grooms shoes painted with whiteout saying Help Me for a ceremony when they knelt, and jello in champagne glasses and a hot air wedding cake and vinegar in a champagne bottle for the toast at the rehearsal dinner BUT THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE HEARD YET.....I am dying to hear about this.....
 
SWMBO has many hair pieces...falls, clip knots, whatever the damn things are called.... When she takes them off, it can be anywhere....tends to leave the damn things on the couch or wherever. Then asks me if I've seen such and such hair thing, like I know WTF she's talking about.....so I just go in a room and find one and put it on my head and go back....she hates that to some degree but it's better when she asks for one when we are getting dressed to go out and I ain't dressed yet.....I love to put them in my shorts and have it drapped out with the ole johnson right next to it .... sets her off like crazy.
 
paulster2626 said:
Wife is maid-of-honor in a wedding tomorrow. We don't have a printer at home, so she just forwarded me her speech to print off a couple copies for her here at work.

Replaced some words in there with 'penis'. Should be funny tomorrow, we'll see.

Some classics: "Another night of great penis thanks to Lisa!", and "She had fallen on her penis and broken it."
Click to expand...

Didn't work. She saw it coming. "I'd expect no less from you, Paul."

I need to mix it up a bit. Lay low for a year, then spring my trap!
 
friend sent this to me

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Bringing this thread back from the dead since I just thought of another way to mess with my wife. The new phone I just got today is capable of controlling TVs, cable boxes, pretty much anything capable of receiving an IR signal. She doesn't know this. When she gets home Sunday night, all hell will break loose. Volume/channel up/down, video source change, TV on/off, all without anyone touching the remote. Muahahaha!
 
nukebrewer said:
Bringing this thread back from the dead since I just thought of another way to mess with my wife. The new phone I just got today is capable of controlling TVs, cable boxes, pretty much anything capable of receiving an IR signal. She doesn't know this. When she gets home Sunday night, all hell will break loose. Volume/channel up/down, video source change, TV on/off, all without anyone touching the remote. Muahahaha!
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I have a bluetooth mouse for my laptop. I can access my PC with the BT mouse from about 10 ft away. My wife hates the mouse, and always uses the touchpad.

Well - you can see where this is going.... :D
 
Reviving again because my wife asked I hadn't mentioned this one yet. She has been crocheting for a couple years now and occasionally I like to sit beside or just walk up and grab the ball of yarn and toss it thereby unraveling 20 feet or more of it lol. Sometimes I just grab the yarn and start pulling it from the ball and handing it to her while she crocheting too.
 
SWMBO recently told me her iPhone passkey. I think I might teach her a lesson in trusting me with such information.

If you go to Settings --> General --> Keyboard --> Add New Shortcut, you can set the iPhone to automatically translate certain designated letter combinations to specified words or phrases. Ex "brb" becomes "be right back", "otw" becomes "on the way", etc.

I am thinking of making the following changes:
"and" --> "squirrel penis"
"the" --> "I just wet myself"
"you" --> "I sometimes have erotic fantasies about former Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan"
etc etc

Any more suggestions? :D
 
hunter_la5 said:
SWMBO recently told me her iPhone passkey. I think I might teach her a lesson in trusting me with such information.

If you go to Settings --> General --> Keyboard --> Add New Shortcut, you can set the iPhone to automatically translate certain designated letter combinations to specified words or phrases. Ex "brb" becomes "be right back", "otw" becomes "on the way", etc.

I am thinking of making the following changes:
"and" --> "squirrel penis"
"the" --> "I just wet myself"
"you" --> "I sometimes have erotic fantasies about former Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan"
etc etc

Any more suggestions? :D
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Change system language to mandarin?
Change the app icon pictures and titles to those of other apps
Rename contacts with cute nicknames
Embarassing contact photos. There is nothing like receiving a call and having the contact picture be butt cleavage.
Tell Siri to start calling her Tits McGhee or Chesty La Roux or something similar.
Set random alarms with alert sounds that make it sound like her phone has tourettes.

Your options are endless.
 
DrunkleJon said:
Change system language to mandarin?
Change the app icon pictures and titles to those of other apps
Rename contacts with cute nicknames
Embarassing contact photos. There is nothing like receiving a call and having the contact picture be butt cleavage.
Tell Siri to start calling her Tits McGhee or Chesty La Roux or something similar.
Set random alarms with alert sounds that make it sound like her phone has tourettes.

Your options are endless.
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Now that you've said it, if you don't do it your not a man lol.
 
DrunkleJon said:
Change system language to mandarin?
Change the app icon pictures and titles to those of other apps
Rename contacts with cute nicknames
Embarassing contact photos. There is nothing like receiving a call and having the contact picture be butt cleavage.
Tell Siri to start calling her Tits McGhee or Chesty La Roux or something similar.
Set random alarms with alert sounds that make it sound like her phone has tourettes.

Your options are endless.
Click to expand...

We have OITs on various equipment. I change languages all the time. :p
 
One that works with lots of things is asking a question that there really isn't an answer for

For example: what is a defibrillator?
Then she will answer something like "the thing that shocks you to save your life"

Response from me: I know what it does but what is it exactly?

Can go on for a while until she realizes that I'm messing with her :)

Sent from my SCH-I605 using Home Brew mobile app
 
unionrdr said:
Geez,am I the only one that rips a dead cow fart in bed & throws the covers over her head???
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We have a strict agreement to not fart in each others' immediate presence.

I, however, have found a loophole. Every time I rip one near her, I just say "Oh, sorry, I forgot you were there." I'll even do this mid-conversation.... while I'm looking right at her. :D

And of course, all bets are off in bed. I can't help what I do while I'm "asleep" (read: pretending to be asleep). :rockin:

Every time she lets one loose, I kindly remind her that ladies don't fart....
 
I call BS on ladies don't fart. My wife is def all girl in the strictest sense of the word. But one time (lmao!) we were facing away from eachother at one point,kinda half'asleep. Our Lab Max was sleeping between us,shnoot in the wrong position. He got it in stereo!! Suddenly raises his head & "GRRRRRRRR"...jumps off the bed & heads down the stairs. ROFLMAO! I could tell y'all some funny stories about Max & male farting prowess...
 
unionrdr said:
I call BS on ladies don't fart. My wife is def all girl in the strictest sense of the word. But one time (lmao!) we were facing away from eachother at one point,kinda half'asleep. Our Lab Max was sleeping between us,shnoot in the wrong position. He got it in stereo!! Suddenly raises his head & "GRRRRRRRR"...jumps off the bed & heads down the stairs. ROFLMAO! I could tell y'all some funny stories about Max & male farting prowess...
Click to expand...

If the dog can't stand it it must be terrible, congrats on that one lol.
 

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