Funny things you've overheard about beer

Williams 728
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Ryush806 said:
I wasn't going to do it but you provoked me...

Well actually...boiling the wort for an extended period of time increases the concentration of sugars and flavors leading to a stronger batch. It also allows more Maillard reactions to take place which darken the wort and add even more flavors.
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well, actually... it would make a darkER beer, not necessarily a dark beer. the way ChshreCat told it, seems like the guy said that's the way ALL dark beers are made.

so, how long would it take to boil a pale ale into a stout?
 
Ryush806 said:
I wasn't going to do it but you provoked me...

Well actually...boiling the wort for an extended period of time increases the concentration of sugars and flavors leading to a stronger batch. It also allows more Maillard reactions to take place which darken the wort and add even more flavors.
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Yes, but he was referring to making a stout by boiling a light lager wort longer. I just nodded and held my tongue.
 
ktblunden said:
This thread took a turn. It's one thing to post amusing things people have said, but it's another to look down your nose at people who like beer you feel is beneath you. Remember guys, there's a big difference between beer enthusiast and beer snob.
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Just felt like this bore repeating
 
"Well, actually..." he wasn't far off. They are the same ingredients. Yeast, hops, and grains, only the grains is cooked longer to make it into those higher lovibond ingredients that cause the color. So he was right... in a sense.
 
This is from the Willamette Weeks 2013 Beer Guide. I just really hope this is sarcasm, especially coming from a beer magazine :/haha

image-983672881.jpg
 
I think it's tongue-in-cheek, but more or less accurate. I sort of question the definition of lacing though. I always thought it was considered a good thing?
 
Definitely sarcasm/humor.

From the list:
Mouthfeel: Ugly term for how thick, bubbly or oily a beer feels in your mouth. Also the name of Wisconsin’s 16th-most-popular grunge-influenced jug band.

Oaked: Beer sat in an old wood barrel or on wood chips until it tastes like sawdust.
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Not so much something overheard as experienced. We went to a "brewery" yesterday which boasted 17 beers on tap. Six of those were their own beers (brewed for them by Firestone Walker and others according to the menu). Of the other 11 beers, half were BMC. That should have been our clue to go elsewhere. Unfortunately we sat down anyway. My wife and her friend both ordered the "Blueberry Ale." Her friend's husband ordered the house IPA and I ordered a Dr. Pepper (I made the smartest decision by far.) The IPA was unremarkable at best, the blueberry was terrible. Their blueberry "ale" consisted of dumping a handful of blueberries in a glass and filling it with Bud Light (or some other light lager). Zero flavor and a glass full of floating blueberries. My wife and her friend each took about two sips of the beer and we had them remove them from the bill. This was the worst case of "fruiting the beer" I've ever seen.

I actually have half a mind to send an email to Firestone and tell them their affiliation with this place reflects badly on them.
 
drainbamage said:
I think it's tongue-in-cheek, but more or less accurate. I sort of question the definition of lacing though. I always thought it was considered a good thing?
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Yeah that's the one I was pertaining to. I've always read/been told that lacing was from a CLEAN glass as opposed to a dirty one. I guess I should have prefaced that :) but yes, the other ones were quite humorous.
 
Between an obviously drunk, and I assume drunk, pair of 20 somethings at a Denny's around 1:30AM

"What were you drinking"
"Jaeger bombs"
"You know what you should get into? IPAs"
"Dude, I'm into IPAs"
"Yeah, I'm a bartender and I recently got into IPAs"

How big does an IPA have to be so you can get into it?
 
Halbrust said:
Between an obviously drunk, and I assume drunk, pair of 20 somethings at a Denny's around 1:30AM

"What were you drinking"
"Jaeger bombs"
"You know what you should get into? IPAs"
"Dude, I'm into IPAs"
"Yeah, I'm a bartender and I recently got into IPAs"

How big does an IPA have to be so you can get into it?
Click to expand...

at least 1.075
 
I recently went to a bar/restaurant that boasts the biggest selection of beers on tap in town. Now, they do have a few Montana craft beers on tap, but the majority of them are BMC beers...they are especially excited about their newest beers on tap, Batch 19 and 3rd Shift (I believe both are Coors products, not positive). The most fun had while enjoying my lunch was the conversation between the bartender; sporting a pretty sweet Git'R'Done sleeveless shirt, and the gentlemen sitting at the table behind us as they discussed beer and their extensive knowledge of beer.

Bartender: " do you like really hoppy red ales?"
Patron: "yeah, I do!"
Bartender: "oh, you should try this new beer we just got called 3rd shift!"
Patron: after taking a sip of the beer "wow! You're right, that is really hoppy! You know what? It really reminds me of Killian's Irish Red!"
Bartender: "wow, I never thought of that, but it really does!"

My head almost exploded...Oh, and I had a Harvest Brewery Imperial IPA.
 
I am still friends with one of my former boss's. we went out to dinner tonight with our wives and his wife asks me "so what makes some beers so hoppy?" It was insanely hard to answer "they have more hops" with a straight face.
 
bleme said:
I am still friends with one of my former boss's. we went out to dinner tonight with our wives and his wife asks me "so what makes some beers so hoppy?" It was insanely hard to answer "they have more hops" with a straight face.
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"There is no way for me to answer this without sounding like a smartass....."
 
bleme said:
I am still friends with one of my former boss's. we went out to dinner tonight with our wives and his wife asks me "so what makes some beers so hoppy?" It was insanely hard to answer "they have more hops" with a straight face.
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I hate to effin do this...

well, actually, it's a good question. not just more hops but also later hop additions.
 
drives_a_bike said:
Bartender: " do you like really hoppy red ales?"
Patron: "yeah, I do!"
Bartender: "oh, you should try this new beer we just got called 3rd shift!"
Patron: after taking a sip of the beer "wow! You're right, that is really hoppy! You know what? It really reminds me of Killian's Irish Red!"
Bartender: "wow, I never thought of that, but it really does!"

My head almost exploded...Oh, and I had a Harvest Brewery Imperial IPA.
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My head almost exploded after trying this beer. Just terrible and not red at all.
 
xtian116 said:
My aunt "you should make a light beer"
Me " this is only 3% so we can drink it all day"
Her "it's kinda spicy"
Me "it's a rye"
Her "that can't be light. You should make a good one like Bud Light"

I put ice in her glass and said "wait for it. It'll lose it's taste soon."
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A session rye ale? Sounds yummy
 
xtian116 said:
My aunt "you should make a light beer"
Me " this is only 3% so we can drink it all day"
Her "it's kinda spicy"
Me "it's a rye"
Her "that can't be light. You should make a good one like Bud Light"

I put ice in her glass and said "wait for it. It'll lose it's taste soon."
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3%. What's the point...since I started brewing my session beer is around 6% now.
 
Found this a humorous article on the brewer's association guidelines:
http://www.joesixpack.net/columnArchives/2013/031413.htm

It goes into a loving parody of the non-craft drinkers out here and suggests adding multiple new categories, including:
Dark Beer. Though technically a bock, porter, stout, brown ale or nearly anything other than pale American lager, all dark beer tastes the same. It's strong and heavy and you won't like it. Robust, roasty flavor is complemented by complaints that you "never drink dark beer." Finish is yucky.
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So I was brewing today and a lady came out of my neighbors house. She yells over, "Hey. What ya doin?" I responded with, brewing beer. She said "what kind? Like bud light?" I said no its going to be an IPA. So, a really hoppy beer. She then said, like she was a beer geek, "O really hoppy like German beers." I just responded with how not all German beers are hoppy. She looked at me like I was crazy and said "ya they are."

I guess when all you drink is bud light, German beers are really hoppy.
 
I was informed by my cousin today when I brought some IPAs over for dinner, "Oh, isn't that what all the college yuppies drink these days to feel important?"

I laughed but realized there was some truth to that, as we've seen in this thread with people calling them eepas or calling any non-BMC an IPA.
 
Skeptidelphian said:
Found this a humorous article on the brewer's association guidelines:
http://www.joesixpack.net/columnArchives/2013/031413.htm

It goes into a loving parody of the non-craft drinkers out here and suggests adding multiple new categories, including:
Click to expand...

The last style on that page is "free beer: Unanimously regarded as the world's finest style, especially when generously shared with friends. Unless it's Michelob Ultra."

I brought 12 Belgian Dark Strongs to a party, made it clear that they were community property. I brought 10 back. I am never doing that again.
 
mysteryshrimp said:
I brought 12 Belgian Dark Strongs to a party, made it clear that they were community property. I brought 10 back. I am never doing that again.
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I'm sure that word would have gotten out about how good your beer was, if the two guys who drank it weren't passed out in the corner. 9.5% may not seem out of place for many of us, but it's a fair slice into the constitution of a regular party-goer.
 
Teromous said:
I'm sure that word would have gotten out about how good your beer was, if the two guys who drank it weren't passed out in the corner. 9.5% may not seem out of place for many of us, but it's a fair slice into the constitution of a regular party-goer.
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Oh yeah, whenever I big a bigger beer to a party everyone is like, "whoa bro! I am drinking my own urine in a can, are you sure thats a beer you have, its like 9%!" Very sad actually. I don't even bother trying to get them to try it, they will cringe or try to pound it like its a Coors. I do have lots of friends who are new to the craft world side of beer, love educating them on the joys of beer and homebrewing though :).
 

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