The harder they fight the harder they fark.

My upstairs neighbors have been fighting recently. Unbelievably loud shouting matches where you can hear exactly what they are saying and you can hear them hitting things and breaking things (never got the impression that they are violent towards each other, though). This can go on on and off for an entire day.

Well, last night was a particularly loud fight, but shortly after the shouting stopped my wife and I heard them effing like crazy upstairs. Ceiling creaking like crazy, they were banging into the wall, and, again, shouting like crazy. They've lived upstairs for almost a year, and we have had two neighbors before them, and never heard them fight or fark. Hopefully they found a way to resolve their difference. I just hope the do the resolving a little earlier so they don't wake me up.

Thats Hot!!!!!

Leave a gift basket on their front door letting them know you're glad they worked things out.

EvilTOJ said:

Leave a gift basket on their front door letting them know you're glad they worked things out.

Click to expand...

BWAHAHA!!!!!!

Evil genius there!!!

Little subtle hinting often works.

:rockin:

I had neighbors like that once

I tried to talk my wife into having spirited sexy time
Just to let the neighbors know that we could hear them

My wife said that was a dumb idea

Just tape record their sessions and send them the tape in the mail.

Call them after they are done and ask if it was as good for them as it was for you.

When I used to live in an apartment my wife to be and I could hear our upstairs neighbors getting it on. One night I clapped when they finished, which I think they heard , I never heard them screw again.

I like the gift basket Idea, Maybe some boxing gloves and box of rubbers with instruction for Yahoo Live video Feed.

EvilTOJ said:

Leave a gift basket on their front door letting them know you're glad they worked things out.

Click to expand...

Yah - Leave them one of those cheap voice recorders of them farkin'

Ha, brilliant ideas. I feel like I should take a poll.

No seriously. If you don't leave them a gift basket the internet will hate you.

Don't for get to offer them a smoke!

SWMBO and I spent last Valentine's Day at a nice hotel in Chicago. Late at night, we heard the couple in the room going at it, loud enough to wake both of us, and this was not a cheap place.
The next morning, I got up early and went for a quick run along the lakefront, but on my way out, I slipped a note underneath their door that said, "I hope the video was as good as the audio last night."
After I got back and showered, and SWMBO was getting dressed, I heard a loud female voice next door yelling, "Oh my God ! Did you see this note ?"

It took all the effort I could muster not to laugh as we left to go to breakfast.

BugleBrew said:

My upstairs neighbors have been fighting recently. Unbelievably loud shouting matches where you can hear exactly what they are saying and you can hear them hitting things and breaking things (never got the impression that they are violent towards each other, though). This can go on on and off for an entire day.

Well, last night was a particularly loud fight, but shortly after the shouting stopped my wife and I heard them effing like crazy upstairs. Ceiling creaking like crazy, they were banging into the wall, and, again, shouting like crazy. They've lived upstairs for almost a year, and we have had two neighbors before them, and never heard them fight or fark. Hopefully they found a way to resolve their difference. I just hope the do the resolving a little earlier so they don't wake me up.

Click to expand...

Yeah, sorry about all that.... We'll try to be more quiet next time... She likes it rough, what can I say...

But seriously, leave 'em a Dr. Phil book and a box of Trojans.... Maybe they'll get the hint.

kjung said:

SWMBO and I spent last Valentine's Day at a nice hotel in Chicago. Late at night, we heard the couple in the room going at it, loud enough to wake both of us, and this was not a cheap place.
The next morning, I got up early and went for a quick run along the lakefront, but on my way out, I slipped a note underneath their door that said, "I hope the video was as good as the audio last night."
After I got back and showered, and SWMBO was getting dressed, I heard a loud female voice next door yelling, "Oh my God ! Did you see this note ?"

It took all the effort I could muster not to laugh as we left to go to breakfast.

Click to expand...

I'd pay cash money to have seen the look on their faces as they read the note! (not to mention the tape!)

Bluelinebrewer said:

Yeah, sorry about all that.... We'll try to be more quiet next time... She likes it rough, what can I say...

But seriously, leave 'em a Dr. Phil book and a box of Trojans.... Maybe they'll get the hint.

Click to expand...

Part of me really hoped that my neighbors are on here, but the few times I've past him outside as I was going to throw out spent grains and hops he looked at me like I was a martian. Really creepy looking guy. His wife is pretty hot though.

gratus fermentatio said:

I'd pay cash money to have seen the look on their faces as they read the note! (not to mention the tape!)

Click to expand...

I told SWMBO about the note at breakfast, and she freaked out ! As we went back to the room, she rushed past their door and ran back into our room. I walked as slowly as possible, hoping that I'd run into them.

Holy effing shiat, they were at it again last night. For two hours we just heard this pounding upstairs that sounded like moving really heavy furniture over hard wood floors, except that our apartments have carpet. I heard the guy shouting over and over again "open the door. Open the door! This is rediculous. This is absolutely unacceptable!" over and over again while pounding on the door REALLY loudly. Apparently she locked herself in the bedroom after some fight, and the guy sounded seriously pissed.

Then came the funny part. He was shouting at her to let him in so he could just brush his teeth and wash his face, then go to bed, saying he didn't want to talk to her anyway. She refused, more pounding, then he turned the airconditioning on full blast (I could hear the unit turn on outside) and said, "Fine, you can come out when you're cold enough. The ******* apparently didn't realize that she was in the bedroom with all the blankets, so two hours later he turned off the AC and was pounding on the door again to try and get in. This was at about 11:30, and I was damn near ready to call the police, both for the noise and worrying what this really loud angry guy was going to do. Seriously, when he's shouting I can hear him clear as day from downstairs.

Well, I guess they worked things out, because I was woken again to pounding at about 1:30 in the morning. This time much more... rhyhmic.

This is fun for me. I'll keep you all posted.

Maybe its all a role playing fantasy. Even the fighting bit...

Pics or it didn't happen.

Just saying.

bernerbits said:

Pics or it didn't happen.

Just saying.

Click to expand...

That might be tough. Its probably illegal too. I can see him drilling a hole through the ceiling and running a fiber optic video cable into the room (Think 24)

A audio recording is more likely a do able thing. They have no expectation of privacy if they are so flippin' loud.

He could record it then play it back on a very loud stereo, so these can hear what they sound like boinkin'

My wife and I lived down stairs from a couple like this. They'd slam doors and through things. It was mostly her doing it.

The night after a really good fight, the guys wife liked it in the back door. We knew this cause she'd be screaming, "F*&% me in my a$$! YEAH! YEAH! (moan, scream, moan) F*&%-ME-IN-MY-A$$!"

What was really funny was one night they had a fight about sex. She was screaming that she only let him back door her so she could feel something from his little tiny d!*& and how she didn't think he could get it all the way hard and so on, just berating his manliness and lack of a good job for hours.

If it was an act, she was good at it.

We used to go away boating up north when my son was very young, instead of sleeping on the boat, as we did when he got a little older,we would stay at a hotel, like Holiday Express or equivalent, and I started to try to guess what the couple looked like,after hearing them tearing it up next door. I always had a big smile when I said hello either Sat or Sun mornings, whenever I ran into them. I'm talking about a lot of weekends a year, for a few years....