Things SWMBO says on brewday:

Since I brew at night, once the kids are in bed, the only thing I get is: "keep it down", as I am going back and forth the garage and the basement.

Lately, I've been getting the "you are going to burn the house down if you keep brewing in the garage".

"Are you hungry? I can make some breakfast."

Not sure how I lucked out on this one, but she really does say this almost every time. Score.

"Smells good!" is what I usually get as she nudges me out of the way to get her nose over the kettle. She loves the smell of wort. Otherwise, I never hear a peep about the time spent or lack of attention. She likes it when I cook (so do I), and I think she just sees this as an extension of that.

I get "Oh, is this more of that bitter? Will I get more than one this time?"

That, or "When are you doing my coffee stout?"

In fairness I have been promising that stout for three batches now. She's been pretty amicable with regards to the brewing since I moved the operation outside last year.

"Mind if I bring my laptop out here and work?"
"Your timer went off, what needs to go in next?"
"That smells good"
"You say you have an hour while the grain mashes>"

10."Are you done yet"
9."when will you be done"
8."can you take a break"
7."whats taking so long"
6."are you going to be finished before dinner"
5."you should have started this earlier"
4."why is the floor sticky"
3."Are you cleaning the kitchen"
2."I have to mop now"

and number 1


"Did you just buy that, That looks new..."

Like most SWMBO's that I know, things that mine says can go either way.
Depending on how she is "feeling" that day, or whether the kids have plucked on her last nerve or not (or sometimes I pluck the nerves as well).

I have gotten:
1) are you almost finished?
(as I am sipping on my first cup of coffee, milling my grains and heating strike water)
** by the way, there is no correct way to answer most of these**

2) Is there anything that I can do for you?
(as she brings me my coffee, breakfast sandwich and a killer smile)

3) Do you think it's OK if the kids come out and watch?
(she only did this once when I first started brewing and after a careful explanation of the process and risk of deforming our children forever, she has never asked again)

Mostly though, I plan my brewdays out well in advance (if I know what is good for me) and we split the day.
I am up at 6am, brew and cleaned up by 11am while she watches the children and then she does WHATEVER she damn well feels like (if I know what is good for me).
She is a good woman and the other half of the day is usually spent with me, so I cannot complain.

Most commonly I get "dinner is done, do you want it taken out to you?" She gets bummed sometimes but I am so happy when I am done making a batch that she just goes with it.

I hear " God, that smells good " while mashing, followed by breakfast brought to me, followed by " You want a beer!? ". I love my wife.

Yeah, reading through most of these really makes me appreciate my wife. I have to be the luckiest guy here.

Jon73 said:

Mine says the nicest thing in the world, nothing. She says nothing about me being in the garage all day (on brew day), she says nothing when I rant to her about some eff-up that I've made. She says nothing when I steal the propane from the bbq to finish my boil. She says nothing when I carry the carboy through the house to the closet. She says nothing when I adjust the house temp to a more beer-friendly range. And lastly, she's said nothing about the amount of homebrew I pour down my neck, but I think that's gonna happen someday.

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Mine also says nothing all day .. Kind of like the cold shoulder, and she rolls her eyes a lot!

Mine encouraged me to buy a used True 2 door cooler for beer & cold crashing, plus a better brew stand & adding a sink & water line into the garage to make my brew day more efficient!

freebeertomorrow said:

"You say you have an hour while the grain mashes>"

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Right dude? This is where it's at.

Mine does not say anything about the brewing as I do it on my "extra" day off (I work a 9/80 schedule so have every other Friday off).

She has commented that:
I have not gotten as much done around the house
That I am spending more Saturdays on the race car
That the house is not as clean as it used to be (I do 75% of the cleaning and laundry plus 90% of the cooking)
That I am doing more emergency repairs on my car on Sundays than before
That the basement is more disorganized than before
That the recycling is more has a lot less beer bottles than before

She hates the smell of the wort, fermentation and the taste and smell of finished beer. I brew outside as a result.

freebeertomorrow said:

"You say you have an hour while the grain mashes>"

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I tried telling her that I had an hour to wait for the mash once! She said "No you don't you need to go heat up your sparge water!" Maybe she knows more about brewing then she lets on!!


Oh another phrase I hear a lot is "are you still PLAYING with your beer"

Fortunately mine loves beer so usually I get:
"What are you making this time?"
"Do i get half of it?"
"You can't be in control of the timer anymore!" (I'm kinda impatient so i check it a lot :cross
"Can we at least have a beer while we wait on the mash??" <- This is my favorite

Mine helps me brew while saying can't wait to keg this batch so we can start the next

Mine is great and she doesn't really like beer. Lately she has been asking if I'm going to brew today. - almost every day.
She helped brew my last 2 batches and has been wanting to start a small brewery for a while now.

"The only time you're ever in the kitchen is when you brew beer. Maybe you could cook dinner once in a while?"

Ok, I gotta admit, she does have a point.

I've been brewing for 20 years and I've been with my wife for longer than that. She still asks me if I can "finish early".

Wasn't my wife, but had the neighbors over awhile back. She tried one of my IPAs.... she's a Bud Light drinker, and doesn't drink Bud Light very often. She took a sip and asked - in disgust - "What is that I'm tasting?". I simply said.... "Beer".

The hops were overpowering to her... it was a very bitter beer.

At first, when racking to the fermentor or secondary, my wife would ask me in a smart ass tone - "are you rackin' off again? Jeez, you're always rackin' off.. can't help yourself..."

Now when when I even mention that I am going to be brewing the "rackin' off" jokes start. I am just waiting for her to move to hairy palms and "you'll go blind" jokes...

As an addition,, I was in my brewing room (you all have one of those right? A room, your wife helped you set up in the house just for your brewing stuff)
And the wife came in and said " I was looking at the Barley And Hops Facebook page, they racks they just got in done make sense, you can only dry or store empty's on them.. I found these crates that are plastic, they can store and dry empty's or hold full bottles... We should, buy a bunch of those"

Did I mention my wife is the one that went to Austin Brew supply and bought me "The Works" to get started

To those that have to suffer though cold shoulder / silent treatment. Hey at least you can drown the silence in good Home Brew .. To those that have a wife that ROCKS, and enthusiastically supports the Brew.... Rejoice.

E_Marquez said:

To those that have to suffer though cold shoulder / silent treatment. Hey at least you can drown the silence in good Home Brew .. To those that have a wife that ROCKS, and enthusiastically supports the Brew.... Rejoice.

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I would kill for the silent treatment. Atleast she wouldn't be talking instead of voicing her complaints about me brewing.

I got this at least three or four times yesterday:

"How's my stout coming?"

MedicMang said:

Mine usually says... "Are you done yet?"

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I usually only hear that in bed

On brew days she always has this look/tone like "oh, isnt that cute, you're playing with your beer stuff again" kind of like how you would comment on a 8 year old's Lego creation. I'm like, dammit woman, I'm creating the nectar of the Gods here...which only seems to validate her position somehow

Mine is always: "Wow the kitchen looks nice!" Then Im thinking thanks,but ugh all that cleaning,now Im ready for a beer. She likes when I make beer its the only time I have the kitchen spotless,especially bottleing. Cleaner than she gets it.

I dont particularly like how the house smells when brewing so I open all windows and turn on fans. Its not terrible kinda smells like dogfood though,Im thinking Im just smelling dms pretty much-I dont know why everybody loves it so much.

The wife - "you didn't tell me you were going to brew today", "why does it take so long", & "you need to start this earlier".
My 4 yr old daughter (who sometimes needs to be obeyed)... says "is it time to put the seeds in yet?"....referring to the hop pellets.

SiriusStarr said:

My mother in a nutshell. She's tried every single thing I've made and despises it all because it tastes "like beer." Even said that about a cider I made, where I used US-05. I think it's something about the yeast... Kind of glad I moved 2000 miles away and she can't taste them anymore.

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My wife has told me that raspberry sparkling mead from Redstone, and EdWort's Apfelwein that I made both "taste like beer".

Power of suggestion, I think. There's neither barley nor hops in either, and the Apfelwein at least I can vouch is a wine yeast, not a beer yeast. Still, it's cold and carbonated and she knows it's not champagne, so it tastes like beer.

"No, I don't want to smell the mash. It's gross."
"No, I don't want to smell the wort. It's gross."
"Are you done yet?"
"How much longer are you going to be?"
"This beer is really good, but it's even better if you mix it with these other two."

My wife bought me a conical for my birthday. Named it R2D2. Likes to go into the brewlab and tell me :

"R2 is doing his job monitoring the fermentation. The force is with us."

Mine just wants to help or be apart of it. She helps me when I'm fighting the wort chiller. And she helps me bottle.

She helps me bottle and is glad to do so.

I'm damn lucky!

freebeertomorrow said:

"You say you have an hour while the grain mashes>"

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THAT could make the hour-long mash fly by!!!!

"How much longer is this going to take?"

During grain steep. "That smells amazing!".

After first boiling hops. "That smells disgusting."

freebeertomorrow said:

"You say you have an hour while the grain mashes>"

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Best reason I have ever heard to try a 90 minute mash, or even an overnight mash!

Monster Mash said:

I've been brewing for 20 years and I've been with my wife for longer than that. She still asks me if I can "finish early".

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Never thought that finishing early was a good thing...

Melana said:

Never thought that finishing early was a good thing...

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It is if she's a busy woman.

CreamyGoodness said:

It is if she's a busy woman.

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Never!