Funny things you've overheard about beer

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jevers said:
Man Code dictates that sending back a Delerium Tremens and asking for a Coors Light demands a b*tch slap
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LOL:rockin:

After a delerium tremens, drinking that Coors light would have tasted like it had about as much body as a club soda. ;)
 
logan3825 said:
I think Ale yeast causes fast zombies and lager yeast causes slow zombies.
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Actually ale yeast causes top-feeding zombies and lager yeast causes bottom-feeding zombies. So, as a zombie, if you drank a lot of ales you'll eat brains, if you drank a lot of lagers you'll eat ass.
 
Though it may not be very funny, my experience is at least demonstrative of the South Texas beer scene. My wife and I went out to a steakhouse for dinner and the following exchange happened with the server:

Me:"What kind of beer do you have on tap?"
Server: "Coors Lite, Bud lite, Zweibock and Sam Adams."
Me: "Which Sam Adams?"
Server: "Hugh?"
Me: "Which Style of Sam Adams? They make about twenty."
Server: "Um ... They do?"
Me: "Yes, is it the Boston lager? They Winter Ale? or one of many others?"
Server: "We have the winter one in bottle."

That was about as helpful as being told they have "Anheuser Busch" on tap.
 
I always like:

"What have you got on tap?"
"We have Coors light, bud light, dos Equis, and hefeweizen"
"What hefeweizen is it?"
"Umm. It's called hefeweizen"
"Yes, what brand is it?"
"It's hefeweizen, it's a wheat beer"
"Thank you, I'll have a Coke"
 
Skeptidelphian said:
Not so much funny but a victory. My mother has a friend who I've been slowly turning into a beer snob. She had been putting lime into her SA Winter Lager...because some dumb bartender told her to. Apparently after a holiday party, the report is that she admits it's better without the lime. It's not some cheap ass Corona, it's a good winter drinkin' beer. I'm glad to have won.
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Sounds like someone isn't excited about their mom's new "special" friend.
 
Last night a gentleman came in and discovered I was the brewer so we talked a bit about beer...well he talked and I listened a lot and he apparently knew a lot about beer, just ask him.

Anyways during the conversation he asked me, "Do you still use IPA extract in your brewing?"

I explain we have never used extracts in our brewing which led to him telling me with no uncertainty that we did...meh whatever man, obviously you know better than the guy who has read every recipe we brew ansd has seen no mention of extract anywhere.
 
Nightshade said:
Last night a gentleman came in and discovered I was the brewer so we talked a bit about beer...well he talked and I listened a lot and he apparently knew a lot about beer, just ask him.

Anyways during the conversation he asked me, "Do you still use IPA extract in your brewing?"

I explain we have never used extracts in our brewing which led to him telling me with no uncertainty that we did...meh whatever man, obviously you know better than the guy who has read every recipe we brew ansd has seen no mention of extract anywhere.
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There is a lot of truth in the saying that empty vessels make the most noise. Don't know if I could have held my tongue.
 
isn't overheard, but the look on my in laws faces when they tried my Falconer's American Lager tonight. I'm still laughing over that. they were drinking BL & CL.
 
I can't believe I just read through 77 pages of this this thread in the past few days. Thank you all for the laughs about ignorant people, and thank you fall for the econ and distillery talk, it helped me skip pages ahead and get to the end faster. I hope to have something to contribute one day, but it seems most people I talk to are apparently informed about craft beer/home brewing or are willing to listen and change any misperceptions they had.
 
cluckk said:
Though it may not be very funny, my experience is at least demonstrative of the South Texas beer scene. My wife and I went out to a steakhouse for dinner and the following exchange happened with the server:

Me:"What kind of beer do you have on tap?"
Server: "Coors Lite, Bud lite, Zweibock and Sam Adams."
Me: "Which Sam Adams?"
Server: "Hugh?"
Me: "Which Style of Sam Adams? They make about twenty."
Server: "Um ... They do?"
Me: "Yes, is it the Boston lager? They Winter Ale? or one of many others?"
Server: "We have the winter one in bottle."

That was about as helpful as being told they have "Anheuser Busch" on tap.
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This happens a lot at places where SA is the token craft entry, but it's almost always the Boston Lager or whatever basic seasonal is out at the time, and rarely the more obscure stuff. If I order SA at a restaurant, I just assume it to be a crapshoot and not expect anything in particular.
 
drainbamage said:
This happens a lot at places where SA is the token craft entry, but it's almost always the Boston Lager or whatever basic seasonal is out at the time, and rarely the more obscure stuff. If I order SA at a restaurant, I just assume it to be a crapshoot and not expect anything in particular.
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If you go to a bar in Boston (even ones with a hundred crafts on tap) and ask for a Sam Adams you will get Boston Lager, the two are synonymous. Similarly if someone says we have Sam Adams, they are talking about the lager...anything else they are going to call out what seasonal or other offering by name.
 
I one heard a friend say that wine was way healthier than beer, and I laughed at her

Idk, I thought that that was rather funny ^_^
 
Brought some SNPA to a Christmas party. My uncle goes, "oh wow, you like that dark beer."

I let it go. Later he starts talking about cocktails. Then after a few. I decided to correct his remark. I asked him what his favorite beer was. Heineken. I told him I could brew Heineken with a half pound of debittered black malt and it would taste pretty much the same. His revelation, "so you're telling me it's the malt and not the color that had to do with flavor?"

He's learning by Jove!
 
Brought a ton of homebrew to a family Christmas party. My brother and I are chatting and drinking pints of Haus Pale Ale, a very light-looking beer.

My BMC-drinking cousin sees it, and asks what it is. I explain it's homebrew, and offer him some. He says, "No thanks, I don't have the taste for it. It would be wasted on me."

Hmm, didn't think they would realize they don't know good beer. Only one way to correct that, though... Hate to see people not taking the red pill.
 
skullface1818 said:
I one heard a friend say that wine was way healthier than beer, and I laughed at her

Idk, I thought that that was rather funny ^_^
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Red wine actually does have some health benefits. Provided you don't drink it in excess. Though it is not entirely clear if it is actually more beneficial then other kinds of alcohol.
 
I live in South Alabama where there are only 3 types of beer; bud light, coors light and miller lite. Anyway, I was sharing some homebrew IPAs with family during Christmas dinner today and got many comments about it "being good for a dark beer" etc... But to top it all off my Grandpa tells me that I need to let my barley sprout first so that it can "make its own yeast". I don't bother trying to explain anymore.....

Oh! And my step dad asked me if Yuengling was a Chinese beer!
 
A guy at a table next to me at a craft beer pub asks the waiter "what do you recommend for a guy who likes drinking ales and lagers?"

I could tell the waiter was trying pretty hard to keep a straight face especially after I started snickering softly lol.
 
I made some beer for my step daughters wedding back in September. One was an Anderson Valley Summer Solstice Cervesa and a Blue Berry ale. They were handed out as paty favors after the ceremony, overheard by the mother of the bride a guy says, "blueberry beer? I'll make sure the girl friend gets that ". This coming from a guy that was at the pool party the day before drinking a Bud Light out of an aluminum bottle.
 
Brewskey said:
But to top it all off my Grandpa tells me that I need to let my barley sprout first so that it can "make its own yeast". I don't bother trying to explain anymore.....
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That is interesting because I was watching Moonshiners the other day and two of the guys were malting their own barley and using that in the mash because the price of corn was up due to a drought. The guy said something along the lines of the barley acting like the yeast. I was utterly confused. The only thing I could think of was that by letting the barley malt out in the sun for a few days, it would pick up some wild yeasts, which would in turn be used to ferment the mash.
 
gcdowd said:
That is interesting because I was watching Moonshiners the other day and two of the guys were malting their own barley and using that in the mash because the price of corn was up due to a drought. The guy said something along the lines of the barley acting like the yeast. I was utterly confused. The only thing I could think of was that by letting the barley malt out in the sun for a few days, it would pick up some wild yeasts, which would in turn be used to ferment the mash.
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I too, find myself scratching my head on this one, and thought it might be wild yeast as well. I'm skeptical as to how much of these shows are really scripted. I don't watch them regularly, but sometimes I'll turn it on just to hate on them.

Last night I watched "Hillbilly Blood" for the first time. These two guys trekked into the woods carrying what looked to be about 5 gallons of their mash, so they could make a batch of moonshine. After a treacherous hike, and taking all of their hazardous precautions, they set up their "still". They simply covered the coil with some damp cloth, and that miraculously did the trick (makes me wonder why Tickle and the boys go through so much trouble, lol). At the end, they said they netted 8 quarts of hooch. From a 5 gallon bucket of mash? 8 quarts? Something in that math doesn't add up for me, but then again, I don't make moonshine.
 
I've found the show has little to do with the science of brewing and distilling and more to do with what some backwoods distillers think is happening in their stuff. I saw the episode with them grinding their homemade malt too and when they said they grind it really fine so the malt flour could act as yeast for the mash I thought, "Oh great! There's another error people are going to be taking as science."
 
gcdowd said:
That is interesting because I was watching Moonshiners the other day and two of the guys were malting their own barley and using that in the mash because the price of corn was up due to a drought. The guy said something along the lines of the barley acting like the yeast. I was utterly confused. The only thing I could think of was that by letting the barley malt out in the sun for a few days, it would pick up some wild yeasts, which would in turn be used to ferment the mash.
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I bet thats where he heard that. He loves those goofy shows.
 
Me: I'm going to start brewing beer.
Wife: Ew!

Me: Try this first batch of extract.
Wife: Eeww!

Me: This all-grain smells wonderful, don't you think?
Wife: Eeewww!

Me: At least try the hard cider.
Wife: Eeww - wait, got any more?

We have a winner!
 
By my brother in law this weekend:
Absinthe is the best beer they make.
So, beer is made with barley?

Many more I can't think of right now.
 
Epimetheus said:
Me: I'm going to start brewing beer.
Wife: Ew!

Me: Try this first batch of extract.
Wife: Eeww!

Me: This all-grain smells wonderful, don't you think?
Wife: Eeewww!

Me: At least try the hard cider.
Wife: Eeww - wait, got any more?

We have a winner!
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This was my mother. She despises every single style of beer she's ever tried (and she's tried a lot, thanks to me), because they all taste and smell too "beer-y". So I started making cider, and now she keeps trying to steal bottles of my cyser. :(
 
I got one. Was talking to my sisters bf (i have not met this fellow he lives severalllll states away) and I heard he loved good beers, so speaking over speaker phone I asked him what beers he liked, he replied that "I dont like american beers" I retorted with " so you dont like founders, seirra navada ect?" he says "I dont know iv never heard of them" then he said "I like belgian beers like trappist" and I say "well If I brewed you a belgian you would not like it because its american?" (confused)

There was a bit more to that conversation but I was talking with family and already had a few brews so I dont remember much more from that. Plus after that short convo that guy wasnt worth my time at that moment.

Im assuming he likes everything "imported" and if its not imported it sucks. Sad :(
 
Make him a big American IPA and tell him it's a Belgian. Chances are he wouldn't tell the difference...
 
luke_d said:
Make him a big American IPA and tell him it's a Belgian. Chances are he wouldn't tell the difference...
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Agreed

Kinda ironic cause now i just did a tremis and a nocturnum. Bet he would love those. (if he knows what they are)
 
EnjoyGoodBeer said:
I got one. Was talking to my sisters bf (i have not met this fellow he lives severalllll states away) and I heard he loved good beers, so speaking over speaker phone I asked him what beers he liked, he replied that "I dont like american beers" I retorted with " so you dont like founders, seirra navada ect?" he says "I dont know iv never heard of them" then he said "I like belgian beers like trappist" and I say "well If I brewed you a belgian you would not like it because its american?" (confused)

There was a bit more to that conversation but I was talking with family and already had a few brews so I dont remember much more from that. Plus after that short convo that guy wasnt worth my time at that moment.

Im assuming he likes everything "imported" and if its not imported it sucks. Sad :(
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I hate it when this happens........even when most of the top 10 beers in the world are american made

It is true that america had a dark age of brewing from prohibition up to the early 1980's, but since then I say that we make some of the finest beers in the world :tank:
 
This was a quite a few years ago.

I was in a bar and asked what they had on tap the waitress rattlled off the generic:

Bud, Coors, Miller, and every version of Light, Ice, and Dry (what ever that is).

Then came Corona, Dos Equis, Killinans red, and Sam Adams.

She said domestics were $3.00 and that imports where $4.00.

I said I'll take a Sam Adams.

The bill came and it was $4.00 a beer. I said what gives? I ordered Sam Adams. She said that was an Import.

I said Sam Adams is made in Boston. She just looked puzzled, and said it was still an import.

:drunk:
 

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