Moral dilemma...about a dog (long post)

My wife and I have two dogs of our own (white boxer/pointer and a black boxer/lab). I was never a 'dog person' until these two came into our lives. Now I guess you could say that helping dogs has become our calling.

The county shelter is around the corner from our house. It is a high kill shelter. People drop their animals at what they must think is the county pet shop when they have to move, didn't check with their landlord, puppy grew up, etc). Then you have ******* back yard breeders who drop off the puppies that don't fetch as much $$ from the litter. Now the former pets get put down to make room for the puppies. Though lately even the puppies are getting the axe. ...sorta

BACK ON TRACK: Earlier this year we would started fostering dogs. We would pick out a dog that was on "the list" and bring him/her home as a foster until a forever home is found. We find nothing more rewarding that getting a dog the day before it is scheduled to die and finding the proper home for it. We've saved 8 or so to date (lost a few to distemper).

We currently have a young male brindle Plott hound. He's a sweet dog but we need to watch him like a hawk because he wants to take ANYTHING outside to chew on (remote controls, shoes, candles, pillows, sheets). He even fit a broom through the dog door. He is also just a bit too rough with our cat for comfort.

Anyways, this Vietnam vet fell in love with him and has been approved to adopt him. We held the dog for two weeks waiting for him to get neutered, which finally happened yesterday. Last night we got an email from the guy who was now in the hospital. He is going into surgery and will be in the hospital for 30 days to have some kind of bypass done. He will then have extensive therapy. This is the second time he's been in the hospital since being approved for adoption.

He claims this dog reminds him of his old dog that he had for 15 years. That dog's urn is now on his mantle. From conversations and emails, it almost seems like the promise of this dog is helping him cope with his medical issues. That is where our moral issues come into play.

Even after recovery, this puppy may still be too much work for him to handle. We really don't want to hang onto this dog for that long. We've already turned down two other offers for him and really want to move onto helping the next dog.

I think we will suggest that we find Wingnut a new home and will keep an eye out for a similiar dog that will be slightly less of a handful. We've seen several already. He said he would understand if we can't keep Wingnut that long but that still leaves a feeling of guilt knowing how badly he wants this dog. Keep in mind that he has never physically even met this dog, only pictures and conversations with us. He lives pretty far away. Thoughts?

I think it's time for Wingnut to move on. There is absolutely no guaranty that the guy interested in him will be able to take possession and continuing to foster Wingnut is denying other dogs an opportunity for help. If the guy had met Wingnut, I'd feel a bit different.

The local greyhound group is getting 'clogged' up with fosters, because the placement people are seeking perfection (and routinely failing) in finding forever homes (as we call them). Bad for the fosters, bad for the dogs, bad for the people looking for companions.

I would continue to look for another home. If you find one before this guy is ready, then sorry. Another dog will be along for him. You're doing a great thing for these dogs and don't need to be taken advantage of by holding it for someone for who knows how long.

Well, IMHO...
I have a friend that’s a Vietnam Vet, and I always take my dog when I go see him because she does calm him, and he is in better mood when she's around.
But I also have neighbors that are a part of a dog rescue program, and am aware of the responsibilities there.
I think that you should keep the dog for now, and place him in a different home later. Placing a dog, and make no mistake you are choosing to put him there as opposed to giving him away, is all about the dog, not the future owners. If you're description is completely accurate, I don't see that dog making him happy. I know that my VV buddy doesn't get around well, and dealing with an avid chewer would just add frustration.
I think the best solution would be to find another dog, that fits his life style. While it might not have the exterior that he wants, a better fit on the interior is more important.
I hope this helps!

Thanks for the input. Yeah, I think we will have to just find another home. Shame about the greyhound fosters. A co-worker is 'fostering' a dog from the shelter too. But she is so picky that she's not advertised it for fear of it going to a bad home. Meanwhile, other local shelter dogs are being PTS in droves. SWMBO had the misfortune of giving input on the selection yesterday...it was a bad day.

http://www.pitbull-chat.com/showthread.php?t=63699

Here's a link where she posted a few pics. Our other foster, Daisy, has just been approved for adoption. Yay!

Irregular, you play disc golf?

I feel bad for the guy, but the dog may well be too much for him no matter how he feels about it. You are in the business of doing your best for the dogs. You will continue to do that, even when the hard decisions have to be made, I'm sure.

I agree that the dog needs to move on. I am sure there are other dogs that could use the spot in your home (which is great by the way, I hope we can do the same some day when we have more space). But, if it all possible, you might explain the situation to the new family and it might be possible that if the guy gets better, he could visit with the dog or something of that nature. I mean it may or may not work out but a few mentions might set things in motion.

Beerrific said:

I agree that the dog needs to move on. I am sure there are other dogs that could use the spot in your home (which is great by the way, I hope we can do the same some day when we have more space). But, if it all possible, you might explain the situation to the new family and it might be possible that if the guy gets better, he could visit with the dog or something of that nature. I mean it may or may not work out but a few mentions might set things in motion.

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Not a bad idea at all. One of the people originally interesed in the dog even lives fairly close to the vet.

Add my name to the list who thinks he should have to pass on this one. First, it will be a while before he could even think about taking care of him, and second, it sounds like that particular dog will be too much in the end anyway.

I'd be honest with him and let him know that for both their sakes, you decide to let someone else adopt him, but hopefully another, easier dog will show up when he is ready for it.

Thanks for all of the replies everyone. It has helped to solidify my gut feeling. Now I'll compound the dilemma.

1. We have two foster dogs, Wingnut and Daisy
2. Vet wants Wingnut and gets accepted to foster but has medical issues.
3. Someone else calls about Wingnut but can't have him as an app was just filled out.
4. They meet Daisy instead and instantly like her. Daisy likes them and their hyper dog.
5. Daisy then met their grandson (who is 6) and barks like crazy at him. Obvious aversion.
6. Despite this, they want Daisy. They state that they will work with her and see if she can get over her fear of the kid.
7. We are uneasy about this and let the shelter know about our fears. Daisy is a good girl and we don't want to set her up to fail. It is the last thing her breed needs, irresponsibility leading to another bite.
8. The shelter approves their application anyways since the family said they were going to work with Daisy.

We are trying now to get them to have a visit with Wingnut, since that is the dog that they originally inquired about. They seemd ho-hum about it because they were already sold on Daisy. They still agreed to visit with him. *crossing fingers*

It sucks to do so much for proper placement but really have no part of the decision making process. I really liked everything about the people wanting to see Daisy, except for the kid which I have big fears about.

In all reality, I think Daisy is a better fit for the vet. But where he lives he cannot have a pit bull. Wingnut reminds him of his old pit but is actually labeled as a Plott. As a plus for the vet, the VA has approved to send whatever dog he gets through training for free.

Whew, what a sticky situation. We're going to have a bit of a chat with the shelter tonight to try to iron out these kinks. Never again will we have two fosters at once...this time was just a fluke.

i know where you're coming from. i worked at a vet clinic for a short time. they had one designated kennel for adoptions. after walking past all the cute furry dogs, there were another 25 or so that just make you think: ok, these are the ones that will be dead in two weeks. it really made me mad to see so many full grown rots there. you just want to smack the owners-oh, you bred it to be vicious killer and now it hates everyone? no more pets for you ever.

there were dozens of dogs that i wanted to take home, but i'm restricted to one dog where i live.

Well some dogs are afraid of kids for whatever reason.
Perhaps you could ask the Daisy likers for a plan to condition her to be around children, and make them sign something that says they will take her to classes, or something like that.
Investigate what the training that the VA will pay for is. I know with my dog, American Bulldog, I have chewing trouble with her unless she has a wide variety of toys. Such as a Kong, a little soft animal shaped toy, big animal shaped toy, an antler, a nylabone, and a rope. Until I figured out that she needed more than one at a time, she was a terror. Maybe that will at least get Wingnut to drag his own toys outside, and not the sheets off your bed! I don't know if that will help Wingnut, but it worked for me.
I know that, in my area at least, most rescue programs place dogs conditionally. Even going as far as making the person sign a document that says ‘if you don’t do this and this, and the pet does this and this, we’re going to re-home them’.

FromZwolle said:

i know where you're coming from. i worked at a vet clinic for a short time. they had one designated kennel for adoptions. after walking past all the cute furry dogs, there were another 25 or so that just make you think: ok, these are the ones that will be dead in two weeks. it really made me mad to see so many full grown rots there. you just want to smack the owners-oh, you bred it to be vicious killer and now it hates everyone? no more pets for you ever.

there were dozens of dogs that i wanted to take home, but i'm restricted to one dog where i live.

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We are restriced to 4 here. Though after this 'experiment' we will stick with our two and a foster. 4 dogs is just a bit too much even when they all get along great.

Here's the thing that bothers me about idiots and and over crowded shelters. Lets say every kennel in the shelter has two dogs in it except for one, which has one dog in it.

DOG #1: Cute brown dog. Owner surrender for (insert BS excuse here). Dog is great with kids, housebroken, loves tummy rubs, but is totally dog aggressive.

DOG #2: Cute brown dog. Picked up as a stray. Not house broken, medical history unknown, but is NOT dog aggressive.

Both dogs come to the shelter at the same time. Guess who gets the last spot? Granted, stray dogs have a 'hold' time just to make sure someone doesn't claim it...one more thing working against dog #1. There is no regulation that says a pet turned in can't be put to sleep immediately.

While things don't really run quite that way at the shelter, it isn't too far from the reality as I've witnessed. Another troubling thing is that people can dump animals here (either pets, unwanted from breeding, or accidental births) without consequence...all the while being a burdon to the tax payers who support the county shelter. [/soapbox]

Sitting here at work wanting a beer now.

dleonard said:

Well some dogs are afraid of kids for whatever reason.
Perhaps you could ask the Daisy likers for a plan to condition her to be around children, and make them sign something that says they will take her to classes, or something like that.
Investigate what the training that the VA will pay for is. I know with my dog, American Bulldog, I have chewing trouble with her unless she has a wide variety of toys. Such as a Kong, a little soft animal shaped toy, big animal shaped toy, an antler, a nylabone, and a rope. Until I figured out that she needed more than one at a time, she was a terror. Maybe that will at least get Wingnut to drag his own toys outside, and not the sheets off your bed! I don't know if that will help Wingnut, but it worked for me.
I know that, in my area at least, most rescue programs place dogs conditionally. Even going as far as making the person sign a document that says ‘if you don’t do this and this, and the pet does this and this, we’re going to re-home them’.

Click to expand...

If I were fostering for a rescue group then conditions like that would be very likely. However, when dealing with an understaffed and over crowded county shelter things don't go quite so smoothly.

As far as wingnut, he has no shortage of toys to chew on. He's particularly fond of kongs and very hard rubber squeaky toys. He still likes to carry anything around that can fit in his mouth. He's such a sweet dog that it is hard to even get mad at him for it. I pretty much say "my bad for leaving that out." He seems to slowly be learning what to do and what not to do. He was picked up as a stray and I think ne's never been inside of a house before mine.

fezzman said:

If I were fostering for a rescue group then conditions like that would be very likely. However, when dealing with an understaffed and over crowded county shelter things don't go quite so smoothly.

As far as wingnut, he has no shortage of toys to chew on. He's particularly fond of kongs and very hard rubber squeaky toys. He still likes to carry anything around that can fit in his mouth. He's such a sweet dog that it is hard to even get mad at him for it. I pretty much say "my bad for leaving that out." He seems to slowly be learning what to do and what not to do. He was picked up as a stray and I think ne's never been inside of a house before mine.

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i had the same situation with my dog now. coc-a-poo(sp?) when animal control picked him up, his hair was 24" long and he looked like a giand wad of chewed cotton. it took him a long while to get used to not being abused. he still growls at people in long leather jackets, but that's the only quirk left.

FromZwolle said:

i had the same situation with my coc-a-poo

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Hey, hey, hey! Let's keep it clean 'round here. j/k

I know whatcha mean though. My white dog is very afraid of other people. Interested...but very afraid.

Fezz -

Cool you do what you do.

I have a smaller place but i have a pound cat i saw on TV. Reporter said something to the fact his days were numbered so i went and adopted him.

Second cat was abandoned in a large field behind my house. Took a while before she would come close enough to me to let me grab her and bring her in the house. She is a alley cat and had the battle wounds to prove it. She is a sweet cat too. She is just going to stay till i found her a new home. 10 months later and no advertising later still haven't found her a home yet.

Love animals too and it amazes me how people can treat life so carelessly. Letting their animals roam, not spay or neutering them, dropping them off at the pound like the last version of Sony play station. So sad. Wish i could do more, but i donate dog/cat food to the local shelter and take care of these two discarded souls the best i can. (they are spoiled rotten.)

Cheers to your good work with wingnut and Daisy.

You are doing plenty more than most people and I'm sure the animals at the shelter are thankful. Too bad there aren't more people as compassionate to shelter animals. I've been up there and see people come in with donations (food and blankets). I always make a point to personally tell them thank you even though I'm not even an employee.

UPDATE on the two dogs.

1. We told the vet that we had to find another home for Wingnut as he couldn't wait that long.
2. We encouraged the family that wanted Daisy to visit Wingnut instead.
3. The grandson (who Daisy was barking so much at) instantly loved getting kisses from Wingnut. Seemed a great match.
4. They adopted Wingnut and are very happy with him.
5. We still have Daisy...going on 4 weeks now. She is such an awesome dog except for her fear of small children. She is perfect in our household as my son is an adult and we never have small children over. Hopefully we can find a responsible person for her. I am willing to drive her anywhere necessary to find a home for her. Though she is welcome to stay as long as she needs as I already love her as much as my own.

Good move. Greyhounds, mostly, don't understand kids. And people do not understand how big greys are, how fast they can react and how much they sleep. My local group had a lot fewer bounces when they stopped placing in households with small kids.