Funny things you've overheard about beer

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When we go to this bowling alley they have Bud Light or Boulevard Wheat on tap. The Boulevard always tastes funky, like feet or something, and it's WAY more expensive. So we pay the $11 or whatever it is for a pitcher of Bud Light. I usually end up having a hard time not thinking about how it tastes like salt and has banana hints.

Could that be beer gas? I've had a similar 'saltiness' issue before at a not so great place. Literally all their beers tasted salty. It's gotta be some sort of common cost-cutting shortcut.
 
When we go to this bowling alley they have Bud Light or Boulevard Wheat on tap. The Boulevard always tastes funky, like feet or something, and it's WAY more expensive. So we pay the $11 or whatever it is for a pitcher of Bud Light. I usually end up having a hard time not thinking about how it tastes like salt and has banana hints.

Can't say I've ever tasted bananas and salt in Bud Light before. All I taste is fizzy rice water that never fails to give me a headache. My pool team (mostly craft beer drinkers and homebrewers) rather deal with Amberbock than Bud Light. Sucks they won't let us bring in our own. We have been known to congregate in the parking lot prior to the match with foam cups full of "sweet tea" though. It's like an impromptu homebrew club meeting.
 
Putting my 6 pack of Zywiec on the counter to pay, the kid behind the register goes "Oh man, I didn't know we had the zy-wick. That stuff will get you F'd up!"

Now, I am only Polish by association, but man did he murder that pronunciation. It's supposed to be zhih-vee-ets. And it's a light lager...how's that supposed to f me up?
 
Putting my 6 pack of Zywiec on the counter to pay, the kid behind the register goes "Oh man, I didn't know we had the zy-wick. That stuff will get you F'd up!"

Now, I am only Polish by association, but man did he murder that pronunciation. It's supposed to be zhih-vee-ets. And it's a light lager...how's that supposed to f me up?

Well someone can hit you in the head with one of those bottles that could f u up.
 
If you're not trying to be argumentative or accusatory, I recommend not being argumentative or accusatory. It's much more effective than being argumentative and accusatory, then claiming you didn't mean to be.

Or, you could untwist your underpants and recognize that I had a debating point, and worded with tongue firmly in cheek. ;)
 
Statistics nerd - but the probability of B isn't equal to the probability of A. All ales are beers, but all beers aren't ales. So the probability of B is equal to the probability of A minus the probability of C (ordering a lager).

My own personal statistics nerd says you are correct!

"The statistics nerd is ABSOLUTELY right. The professor should be shot. - statistics nerd 2"
 
DagoBrewer said:
How bout this one?? "beer?? All beer tastes the same, nasty!" Thats what some of my family said until they tried REAL beer!

Yup my nephue on his 21 bday I offered him a beer and he said they all tast the same and there nasty. Well I hand him a craft brew ( dont remember wich kind) and he said wow thats beer? Glad to say he stopped playing beer pong( choking down crappy beer with the beast light or ice) and now enjoys founders dirty bastard. :)
 
I work at a one of the only Brewpubs in Miami, Titanic Brewery (shameless plug) so I hear a ton of these.

Customer: Yeah man, i'm totally a beer guy, what do you have on tap?
Me: Well, we have 12 brews we make ourselves, what do you like?
Customer: You know, Miller Lite, Miller 64, I really like Corona too.
Me: .... ???
 
Raenon said:
I had a debating point, and worded with tongue firmly in cheek. ;)

It didn't come across that way. Glad to hear that's how you meant it.

As for preconceptions, all I've heard is how great Yeungling is. I happen to disagree. Nor do I look down on BMC/mass lagers. I'm not a good enough brewer to make them. But I'll be damned if I'll pay for something I don't like just to be cool or to get a buzz. If that's snobbery, so be it.
 
We went to a bar, sat down at a bar table. Waitress came over and asks for our order. I said, "What do you have on tap?". She replied, "We don't have a tap."... ("Crickets" for a minute...) Then I said, "Okay, what do you have in bottles?". She replied, "The case is over there, you can go look.". I seriously thought I was on candid camera...
 
She replied, "The case is over there, you can go look.".

Haha. This happened at a little town dive bar my wife and I stopped at while camping. The guy who waited on us was the owner it turns out, but the placed was packed and I think he was flustered. I am pretty sure he knew what they had, just didnt have to say it in a while. As I looked around 90% of the people were drinking Busch Light in cans.
 
Setting: A small liquor store with a tiny beer selection in Massachusetts. I'm talkin' Sam Adams, Wachusett, and some unknown "Hops R Us" marketing trainwreck.

Checkout clerk: "nice choice!" (referring to beer, obviously lying)
Me: ... (skeptical)
Clerk: Do you drink wine at thanksgiving?
Me: No (not in the mood to talk)
Clerk: So you only drink beer then?
Me: ... Fine, I drink wine.
Clerk: We got thanksgiving wine! (points to a flyer advertising pumpkin wine)
Me: ....Thanks. (WTFH?)
 
Clerk: We got thanksgiving wine! (points to a flyer advertising pumpkin wine)
Me: ....Thanks. (WTFH?)

Funny story!

But, to be quite honest, I have a similar reaction to pumpkin beer... and I've never seen a winery who thinks bacon would be a great addition....

:D
 
Fat guy sitting at the bar at a local BBQ place. Orders a Pumkin Porter from the tap. Gets it and proceeds to brag to the whole establishment in a loud voice. "I know my beers and I love a good German beer" as he raises his glass and takes a sip. SWMBO thought my facial expression was priceless. Just another reminder I live in a backwater.
 
"can't you brew something more simple & better... like a PBR?"

Did you kick them in the junk man or woman should have been kicked in the Junk!!!!!!

My response - Cant your dumb redneck ass come to Grips with Flavor! My piss has more Flavor then PBR!
 
I have a few stories to add to this...

1st - at a Buffalo Wild Wings in Niagara Falls USA on lunch from work. I wasn't drinking, but I had to take a look at the beer menu. They listed Southern Tier IPA and Flying Bison Rusty Chain as "Imports". Flying Bison is a local brewery about 10 miles down the road, and Southern Tier is about a 2 hour drive from Niagara Falls. Where exactly were they imported from??? If I remember right, the same menu had Corona as "domestic".

2nd - I was at a small pizza place around the corner from my house. I asked the waitress for a beer menu. I wasn't expecting much, as the place is small and somewhat of a dive - maybe just a Sam Adams? She says "Oh, we have EVERYTHING, what do you like?". Ok, I'll bite - I'm sure they don't have what I *want*, and I did ask for the menu... I respond "Do you have Southern Tier Krampus?"
Her: "huh? no..."
Me: "Ok, do you have Ithaca Nut Brown?"
Her: "No.... I'll just tell you what we have.... we have bud, bud light, miller, miller lite, coors, coors light, Heinekin, Yeungling, and Shock Top".
Me: "ugh, I'll have a Heinekin please..."

3rd - We have a good brewpub downtown that typically has 10+ taps of their own brew, and only one other tap that's not theirs. They keep Labatt Blue on tap there as their American headquarters are a few blocks away, and they get a lot of Canadian visitors due to their proximity of the Sabres Arena... My roommate at the time and I went there one night, and the place was kind of dead. We spent the night talking to the one bartender who knew a lot about their brewing process. He seemed really interested to talk to us about the beer and we were equally happy to chew his ear off all night. At one point a customer comes up to the bar and is leaning over with his cash waiting for the bartender. As he steps away from this great discussion about craft beer and the brewing process, all happy to have customers just as interested he walks over to the other customer.... The customer says "uh, yeah, can I get a Labatt?". The bartender seemed kind of angered by this - turn around, quickly grabs the bottle, opens it, slams it on the bar and says "that'll be $4". The guy pays him and walks away.
My roommate and I thought this was pretty funny, but sad for him at the same time... I can't blame him really - you're in a brewpub with 10 GREAT beers available. They even charge the same for Labatt as they do their own beers... why would you pick Labatt? The brewpub has a beer similar to Labatt on tap that tastes better anyway.... Not trying to be a snob, but it just seems like going to Red Lobster for chicken...
 
Not trying to be a snob, but it just seems like going to Red Lobster for chicken...

Good point. But a large majority of people don't know beer. It only gets funny when this majority thinks they know beer in a public place. This guy probably walked up to the bar and asked for the only thing he could pronounce. I pity the foo.
 
Setting: A small liquor store with a tiny beer selection in Massachusetts. I'm talkin' Sam Adams, Wachusett, and some unknown "Hops R Us" marketing trainwreck.

Checkout clerk: "nice choice!" (referring to beer, obviously lying)
Me: ... (skeptical)
Clerk: Do you drink wine at thanksgiving?
Me: No (not in the mood to talk)
Clerk: So you only drink beer then?
Me: ... Fine, I drink wine.
Clerk: We got thanksgiving wine! (points to a flyer advertising pumpkin wine)
Me: ....Thanks. (WTFH?)

LOL you probably came off as a ******.
 
At a local craft beer bar that has 52 taps and doesn't carry any BMC I over hear someone loudly telling his friends "IPAs only come from India".

Also when my homebrew group pours beers at beer festivals we get asked a million times over for either the strongest beer, or where they can buy our beers, when we tell them they can't buy them because we're not a brewery a few go "Then why do you make beer and not just buy it"

And lastly at another craft beer bar the bartender was describing Jolly Pumpkin La Roja that was on tap to someone, the person tries it and goes "this isn't beer must be expired, there's no way anyone would want to drink that, it tastes like sour milk"....La Roja is one of my fav beers so i just face palmed.
 
Not beer, but tonight at a local brew pub's Octoberfest there was a guy and his wife promoting their Honey wine that they will be selling in PA. I asked the guy if it was similar to Mead, and he said " well it is Mead, but we call it honey wine". Ok....I'm not a Mead guy, so maybe this is an excepted term in the Mead world. Then I say " That must require a lot of Pre-planning given how long Mead takes to age." (Now keep in mind I think he said they make something like 43 different flavors). " Nope, our honey wine is ready to be shipped 3 months after starting a batch."

Again....not a Mead guy, but raw ingredients to shipping in 3 months? He said they use a special yeast technique that has it ready to go that quick. I don't doubt he was telling the truth, but that seems awful quick to me.

For the life of me I can't remember the term he used when he described this yeast usage technique....think it was "S" something, but it was at a beer festival so I was already loosing my short term memory:cross:
 
Not beer, but tonight at a local brew pub's Octoberfest there was a guy and his wife promoting their Honey wine that they will be selling in PA. I asked the guy if it was similar to Mead, and he said " well it is Mead, but we prefer to call it honey wine". Ok....I'm not a Mead guy, so maybe this is an excepted term in the Mead world. Then I say " That must require a lot of Pre-planning given how long Mead takes to age." (Now keep in mind I think he said they make something like 43 different flavors). " Nope, our honey wine is ready to be shipped 3 months after starting a batch."

Again....not a Mead guy, but raw ingredients to shipping in 3 months? He said they use a special yeast and technique for using that yeast that has it ready to go that quick. I don't doubt he was telling the truth, but that seems awful quick to me.

For the life of me I can't remember the term he used when he described this yeast usage technique....think it was "S" something, but it was at a beer festival so I was already loosing my short term memory:cross:

I just listened to a brewing network podcast. Some super mead dude said that with the right spacing and application of nutrients, his stuff was good to go in about 6 weeks.
 
Again....not a Mead guy, but raw ingredients to shipping in 3 months? He said they use a special yeast and technique for using that yeast that has it ready to go that quick. I don't doubt he was telling the truth, but that seems awful quick to me.

I think it's possible. My first attempt at mead was quite drinkable in about 6 months, so I can believe that it's possible to pull this off with some experience and experimentation.

It's a bit like wine. Not all wines need (or benefit) from years of aging. Some are best when young. From what I have read, stronger, drier meads tend to need the most aging.
 
Yup. I believe that was an interview with the o/o of Moonlight Meadery of Londonderry, NH.

Yep....that was the guy.

He and his wife seem like nice people, and are working on getting their product in to PA. If you know PA and it's state run liquor board, it's a hard thing to do. Said he started pretty much like we all do....in his basement after work. Hope he does well here.
 
My Son and I walked into a restaurant / bar this weekend. Restaurant full, the bar, an enormously long bar had nobody sitting at it. We pulled into the stools. Bartender says - "what'll it be?" I asked "what do you have in the way of "craft" beer? He says "Well, I wouldn't call it "craft" because its brewed by "Budweiser" - its called "Flat Tire".

We had the "Flat Tire" :cross:

Fat Tire, New Belgium Brewery - Ft. Collins Colorado.
 
My Son and I walked into a restaurant / bar this weekend. Restaurant full, the bar, an enormously long bar had nobody sitting at it. We pulled into the stools. Bartender says - "what'll it be?" I asked "what do you have in the way of "craft" beer? He says "Well, I wouldn't call it "craft" because its brewed by "Budweiser" - its called "Flat Tire".

We had the "Flat Tire" :cross:

Fat Tire, New Belgium Brewery - Ft. Collins Colorado.

My... god...

Which restaurant was this?
 
At a hotel bar in Florida, their menu said 6.50 import draft, 3.00 domestic drafts. I got my check and asked why i was charged 6.50 for Yuengling,
the girl said: "oh, well it's 6.50 for German beers"
Me:"there's a yuengling brewery 2 hours from here"
Girl:"really? Well i think it's originally from Germany. Besides, it's too dark to be American"
 
Matt3989 said:
At a hotel bar in Florida, their menu said 6.50 import draft, 3.00 domestic drafts. I got my check and asked why i was charged 6.50 for Yuengling,
the girl said: "oh, well it's 6.50 for German beers"
Me:"there's a yuengling brewery 2 hours from here"
Girl:"really? Well i think it's originally from Germany. Besides, it's too dark to be American"

Please tell me you only paid 3 bucks. Not your fault they had an error in their pricing
 
From behind me in the ID line for a beer tasting in Lowell MA:
Guy: “Sweet! IPA is here!"
Guy's friend: “IPA is a type of beer, not a brand, dude."
Guy: “No man, their truck is right outside!"
 
Statistics nerd - but the probability of B isn't equal to the probability of A. All ales are beers, but all beers aren't ales. So the probability of B is equal to the probability of A minus the probability of C (ordering a lager).

I was just considering that there are only two events, A and B, and lagers were not in the sample space. But yes, that would be right
 
gcdowd said:
Please tell me you only paid 3 bucks. Not your fault they had an error in their pricing

She didn't have a manager there and she wasn't understanding my logic. i think she thought i was just trying to trick her out of money or something. So i paid the full amount, then went to customer service and explained to them why their bar prices are misleading (wrong) and they knocked 30 off of my room, which was more than enough to make up for it.
 
[QUOTE="drives_a_bike"Another night I had an engineer tell me, "I only drink stouts with really high alcohol content...like Guinness." I tried telling him that Guinness was only around 4% and really Budweiser is a stronger beer. He wouldn't listen though..."NOOOOO!!! It's like 10 or 11%"[/QUOTE]

That'll be the imported west indian / Nigerian Guinness stuffs pretty nice and yep anywhere between 8-14% depending on the country
 

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