Wife got mad.. did I do the right thing!?

I guess I'm looking for alittle guy back up here..


My buddy shows up last Saturday arounf 9pm I'm out in the shed working on stuff. He comes in We have a couple beer. about 10:30 he says lets go out. I want to but the last weekend I ended up getting lost on my wheeler (with the same guy) and got home late.. You ask so what! well we have a very happy 7 months old that refuses to sleep more then 2-3 hrs in a row a night.. EVERY NIGHT! so I was already in hot water.. Anyway he said lets go I did the right thing I came in asked the wife (why does that sound so bad.. "well I have to go ask 1st") Anyway by some miracle she said yes.. So where off to play Pool..

So we're the pool hall 1.5-2 hrs beer are following pretty good we're have a GOOD time.. boys night out!!
My buddy is a smoker, so he says he has to go for a smoke.. whatever, stupid smokers..
so I get us a couple more beer and go play abit.. 10 min past.. 15min.. I'm thinking WTF.. common ,, I drank my beer I'm going to drink yours now slow a$$.. my buddy is "chatty" when he drinks, in a nice way, just friendly out going. So I think he's out there talking to someone.. So about 20 mins is passed I figure common!!! I better go get him.. I walk to the door and all I see is people stand around and him rolling on the ground in the parking lot with some guy. I take a few seconds to look and and there isn't much rolling mostly him on the ground. So without thinking I fly out the door door into the parking lot and tackle the other guy head on. So now I'm standing over this guy and I say "that's it!" I turn to my buddy who is on the ground obviously messed up and start walking to him when this punked gets up and nails me in the back of the head, I stumble turn around and he nails me right on the cheek, I stumble again and he keeps pounding me. Probably hit me 5-6 times. Someone pulled him off me and then the bunch of them ran off. I ended with a black eye and a few brusies on the back on my head.. My buddy had to go to the Hospital to get checked out..

Anyway beyond the many other things that are wrong with this my wife was mad at me for getting involved!?? It's gotta me a chick thing.. My buddy told me that when I hit the tackled the guy he was actually choking my buddy out.

The real kicker is that My friend has no idea why this happened, he can;t even remember what this guys face looked like. All he remembers is standing outside smoking and going over and talking to a few people outside.

anyway.. big rant.. sorry

FWIW my wife thinks you were in the right.

I don't think your wife is saying you should have left your friend to get choked to death.

But the guy roughed your friend up pretty good and gave you a shiner. She's thinking that's you that could have been in the ER or choked to death. And with a new baby, that only adds to the worry.

Glad you're doing okay. Hope yor friend gets better.

You did the right thing. What did she want you to do? Watch your buddy get his ass whooped? Its too bad you didn't get out there sooner. Not your fault of course, but you did what anyone would have.

Both as a guy, and a guy with a kid I can see both sides of this story.

Your wife is probably pissed because so much more "could have gone wrong" plus she's at home dealing with a new baby and your out getting into a bar fight.

On the other hand your buddy was getting his face handed to him, you have no idea what caused it so you did what any good friend would do and tried to help him out.

Either way time heals all, both your face and your wife. Good lookin out for your bud, even though I'm sure you felt guilty leaving your wife with the kid, I know I did.

Beernik said:

I don't think your wife is saying you should have left your friend to get choked to death.

But the guy roughed your friend up pretty good and gave you a shiner. She's thinking that's you that could have been in the ER or choked to death. And with a new baby, that only adds to the worry.

Glad you're doing okay. Hope yor friend gets better.

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I also Hope yor friend gets better.

She's reacting out of fear. Give it some time, be contrite and buy her something sweet and thoughtful (though not necessarily expensive), maybe something like offering to take care of the wee one while she goes out with her own friends.

As a wife, I'd be unhappy, too. I'd wonder how it is that you still have friends immature enough to get that messed up at a bar and fight like a frat boy. I'm sure that's part of her anger, too.

Speaking from my own point of view... I have kids and a wife and I choose not to go out with friends that are immature enough to get that tanked at a bar, or get involved in a bar brawl. To me, that just comes with being a dad.

Sure I have "friends" that fit those criteria, but I would never even fathom going out with them to a bar while leaving my wife and kids at home.

That being said, you had to intervene, but I wouldnt go out with friends of this caliber anymore, it isnt flattering as a father or as a husband. Your wife was scared, and rightfully so, and she probably has every right to NOT allow you to go out with "friends" like this anymore. My $.02

Next time, stay home... have a homebrew and play darts.

willynilly said:

Speaking from my own point of view... I have kids and a wife and I choose not to go out with friends that are immature enough to get that tanked at a bar, or get involved in a bar brawl. To me, that just comes with being a dad.

Sure I have "friends" that fit those criteria, but I would never even fathom going out with them to a bar while leaving my wife and kids at home.

That being said, you had to intervene, but I wouldnt go out with friends of this caliber anymore, it isnt flattering as a father or as a husband. Your wife was scared, and rightfully so, and she probably has every right to NOT allow you to go out with "friends" like this anymore. My $.02

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Well said.

Friends don't let friends get their asses kicked in the parking lot... 'nuff said.
Regards, GF.

gratus fermentatio said:

Friends don't let friends get their asses kicked in the parking lot...

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unless WITHOUT A DOUBT they deserve it. hey, sometimes you gotta let the kid touch the hot stove right?

+1

willynilly said:

speaking from my own point of view... I have kids and a wife and i choose not to go out with friends that are immature enough to get that tanked at a bar, or get involved in a bar brawl. To me, that just comes with being a dad.

Sure i have "friends" that fit those criteria, but i would never even fathom going out with them to a bar while leaving my wife and kids at home.

That being said, you had to intervene, but i wouldnt go out with friends of this caliber anymore, it isnt flattering as a father or as a husband. Your wife was scared, and rightfully so, and she probably has every right to not allow you to go out with "friends" like this anymore. My $.02

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willynilly said:

Speaking from my own point of view... I have kids and a wife and I choose not to go out with friends that are immature enough to get that tanked at a bar, or get involved in a bar brawl. To me, that just comes with being a dad.

Sure I have "friends" that fit those criteria, but I would never even fathom going out with them to a bar while leaving my wife and kids at home.

That being said, you had to intervene, but I wouldnt go out with friends of this caliber anymore, it isnt flattering as a father or as a husband. Your wife was scared, and rightfully so, and she probably has every right to NOT allow you to go out with "friends" like this anymore. My $.02

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note to self: NEVER get married :rockin:

gratus fermentatio said:

Friends don't let friends get their asses kicked in the parking lot... 'nuff said.
Regards, GF.

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This is true. However, this also means that friends should reconsider being in public with friends that fight.

The wife isn't mad at you for helping your friend once you discovered his situation. She's mad at you for being in public with the type of person who found that type of situation.

Your wife was afraid for you and reacted to it, however.....

maybe you shouldn't be getting yourself in these situations since you are a married family man. If you continue to let your friends lead you around without taking responsibility for yourself, you are somewhat at fault.

willynilly said:

Speaking from my own point of view... I have kids and a wife and I choose not to go out with friends that are immature enough to get that tanked at a bar, or get involved in a bar brawl. To me, that just comes with being a dad.

Sure I have "friends" that fit those criteria, but I would never even fathom going out with them to a bar while leaving my wife and kids at home.

That being said, you had to intervene, but I wouldnt go out with friends of this caliber anymore, it isnt flattering as a father or as a husband. Your wife was scared, and rightfully so, and she probably has every right to NOT allow you to go out with "friends" like this anymore. My $.02

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+1

Being a husband and a father means you have responsibilities that an unattached person doesn't have. Now your "friend" doesn't even know why he was in the fight to begin with? Could it be that he is lonesome for the good old days when he could drink and fight with his buddies, and now they are all growing up without him?

Your wife is rightfully upset, but probably more at your buddy than at you. So where are all the people who should have broke up the fight when it got down to "Choking"?

I'd like to see an update from the OP, if he doesn't mind sharing.

I don't understand the "being with a person that gets into this situation" comments. If your friend is remembering correctly its sounds like he was jumped. Maybe yes, maybe no. You will have to decide based on what you know about him if the situation may have been something he started or not.

Your wife is definitely reacting to the "what could have happened to you" not the fact that you saved your friend. She is wording it incorrectly, my wife does this a lot and we have finally gotten to a point of understanding the "what is said" vs "what is meant".

However, I suggest you by a pool table and drink at home its cheaper and you won't get jumped there.

Well, it's guy code for sure to always have your friend's back. I'd have done the same thing.

Having said that, as Willy said, if I had a handful of a 7 month old at home, my first impulse wouldn't be - or at least SHOULDN'T be - to head out with friends who like to get hammered or into fights.

You're a husband and a father, that needs to come first. Something a lot worse could have happened in that situation, and where would that have left your family? What if instead of a punch in the face you got a broken bottle in the face? Or if they pulled a knife? Or worse, a gun? (Worst case scenario, sure, but it's not outside the realm of possibility)

Fair play for asking first, though - no shame in that. I do it all the time, and I could give a rat's arse what my friends think. I'd rather deal with a couple of seconds of ribbing and that "whip" noise, then deal with the aggro of a pissed off missus!

You did the right thing.

I understand her concern for your health and welfare as a means to provide financially and emotionally for your family. You saw a friend getting the snot beat out of them and you reacted. Getting in fights isn't ideal; but she can't fault you for that. She also can't expect you to stay holed up in your home forever for fear of what the boogie man may bring.

You owe your wife 2 nights out (so she doesn't resent you for being the only one that gets to go out) and a massage. She is FAR more stressed out than you are.

Waking up every 3 hours was terrible - I feel for you two. Do you have a bedtime routine for your baby? Once we started this routine his bedtime became more normal and he slept longer and longer. Every night around 9pm we give our little guy a bath, put him in a sleeper, fed him, wait for him to doze off and put him in his crib. He is 3 months old and slept for 7.5 hours last night. Also do you have a feeding schedule? We never feed before 3 hours since the last feeding and we are shooting for 4 hours between feedings.

I know it may be a little late but if the waking up is colic related get Mylicon and Gripe Water ASAP. We had a colicky baby. Mylicon breaks up the gas bubbles making them easier to pass - and Gripe Water calms the stomach and eases gas (this stuff is amazing). The first time we gave our son Gripe Water he was wailing at the top of his lungs - within 20 seconds of administering he was sleeping.

Best of luck with everything! I can only imagine how stressful your life is right now.

My wife would have been pissed to...... that I got my ass kicked, and Im serious.

Its all been said.

Shame on you for being in the situation, but you have to have you friends back in a confrontation (especially as serious as it sounds).

Wife got mad.. did I do the right thing!?

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Obviusly, yes.

Now whats this you got beat up on? How he eben got up? Oh you tacklr him. THIS AINT FOOSBALL! What the bvar you go to serve beer in plastic botles?

OK step one
break bottle
step two
push n twist
step 3
win

Um... OK, err WHAT?

You did what you had to do, you got your friend out of a bad situation, but you never turn your back on an aggressor. Never.
Good job getting your friends back.

curtis97322 said:

This is true. However, this also means that friends should reconsider being in public with friends that fight.

The wife isn't mad at you for helping your friend once you discovered his situation. She's mad at you for being in public with the type of person who found that type of situation.

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I have made many friends over the years... years ago I made friends with some obnoxious loud party animals who find themselves in confrontations due to drinking and partying in public. They are all tough guys and drink too much. They let their emotions get the best of them after consuming too much alcohol.
I am not married, but I am attached, and I have no kids. But I find that 5 years after we first started hanging that I have mellowed out . . . while I love to hang with these guys at house gatherings, I do not like going out in public with them because they are trouble makers.

I can understand where your wife is coming from. She should be sympathetic to the situation to a certain extent. But then again... your buddy probably pissed of the wrong guy and derserved what he got.
But you did the right thing. SWMBO will be upset no matter what (IMO)

Zul'jin said:

Obviusly, yes.

Now whats this you got beat up on? How he eben got up? Oh you tacklr him. THIS AINT FOOSBALL! What the bvar you go to serve beer in plastic botles?

OK step one
break bottle
step two
push n twist
step 3
win

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What ?....I don't even........What??


Dude you did the right thing. She'll come around. Oh and don't buy her **** this is a all to common event that I for one will be boycotting .....unless I buy a 1962 C-10 Chevy stepside RatRod on eBay without telling SWMBO ....manohman the 9th of July is gonna be interesting

Sorry, I can't answer. I never got into the 'go get wasted at the bar' scene, because stuff like this happens.

My wife would probably be a little peeved at me, because I'm not a fighter.

That said, I would be hard pressed not to assist a friend in need, regardless of WTF happened.

shamrockdoc said:

What ?....I don't even........What??

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I think I can translate:

Obviusly, yes.

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Obviously, yes you did the right thing

Now whats this you got beat up on? How he eben got up? Oh you tacklr him. THIS AINT FOOSBALL! What the bvar you go to serve beer in plastic botles?

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How did you manage to get beaten up? How did he manage to get up? Oh, you tackled him. That was foolish, this isn't football. Does the bar you go to serve plastic bottles or something?

OK step one
break bottle
step two
push n twist
step 3
win

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The way to do it is to break a glass bottle and stab him with it.

I had a bunch os posts quoted, but really, It's (duh) been said already. You've grown up to the point of needing to remove yourself from these situations, your friend hasn't. That being said, you were out with him, good on you for having his back. Just take a look and re-evaluate which is more important. Catching flack from a friend for being "lame" or whatever, or coming home to your wife and kid safe and sound. You're doesn't even remember the events, he was obviously tanked. Not saying I've not tied a good on with the guys since having a kid, but you need to be aware of the types of places you're going to do so.

Zul'jin said:

Obviusly, yes.

Now whats this you got beat up on? How he eben got up? Oh you tacklr him. THIS AINT FOOSBALL! What the bvar you go to serve beer in plastic botles?

OK step one
break bottle
step two
push n twist
step 3
win

Click to expand...

Memorex88 said:

Um... OK, err WHAT?

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It's Zul'jin, you're not supposed to be able to comprehend, yet somehow you understand