Funny things you've overheard about beer

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jerrodm said:
I can't usually get 'em because my girlfriend's a vegetarian, which pretty much makes me a vegetarian. But I do enjoy the taste of a good burger...

I've noticed that this tends to depend on WHY she is a vegetarian. If it is a moral issue, you are pretty much screwed but I know a few who just don't like meat. Those have no problem with others eating meat.
 
at applebees over the weekend...

me: "what do you have on tap?"
waitress: "miller, coors, bud, blue moon, sam adams winter, troegs alpine something...alpine lace i think"

i was thoroughly confused...alpine lace is a is a brand of cheese. i think maybe they had sam adams alpine spring on and she mixed the two up. so i ordered the troegs and received their pale...(not cheese ale).
 
I've noticed that this tends to depend on WHY she is a vegetarian. If it is a moral issue, you are pretty much screwed but I know a few who just don't like meat. Those have no problem with others eating meat.

Wait, surely you are kidding. You have not seen this? I'm truly sorry but due to section 3a, paragraph 7, of the manhood charter.....

revoked_card.jpg
 
Evan_L said:
Wait, surely you are kidding. You have not seen this? I'm truly sorry but due to section 3a, paragraph 7, of the manhood charter.....

Personally, I wouldn't give up meat for Jessica Alba but to each their own....
 
Went to the local Bennigans and asked what they had for craft beer. The waitress was having a tough time with remembering the list so she just brought tasters of like 3 of them so I could try them.

This is going above and beyond.

Then she delivered the Christmas Ale in a pilsner glass.

:headsmack:
 
Several years ago, when my wife and I were still dating she took me by her dad's house to meet him for the first time. He's a BMC kind of guy who drinks something with pretty much every meal.

You'd think I'd want to make a good first impression here...

Anyway, she introduces me and he asks me if I'd like something to drink. I ask what he has and he says Coors Light. I then say that if I had a squirrel willing to piss in my mouth in one hand and a Coors Light in the other that I would still need to flip a coin to figure out which way to go. Lucky for me he'd killed more than a few brain cells over the years, so his initial response was a blank look at me then at her...Then he asks...Is that a no? At this point my future wife jumps in and tries to cover for me and says, that was a no, and he's just trying to be funny, blah, blah, blah...

To this day I have no idea why I said it, and especially at that particular moment....but I still think the statement is valid.

She still doesn't trust me talk to other grownups unsupervised :)
 
"Anyway, she introduces me and he asks me if I'd like something to drink. I ask what he has and he says Coors Light. I then say that if I had a squirrel willing to piss in my mouth in one hand and a Coors Light in the other that I would still need to flip a coin to figure out which way to go. Lucky for me he'd killed more than a few brain cells over the years, so his initial response was a blank look at me then at her...Then he asks...Is that a no? At this point my future wife jumps in and tries to cover for me and says, that was a no, and he's just trying to be funny, blah, blah, blah...

To this day I have no idea why I said it, and especially at that particular moment....but I still think the statement is valid.

She still doesn't trust me talk to other grownups unsupervised "



That is soooo funny!
I've been known to speak before I think and put my foot in my mouth. I think SWMBO waits for me to speak up just to see what I may say!
 
I've noticed that this tends to depend on WHY she is a vegetarian. If it is a moral issue, you are pretty much screwed but I know a few who just don't like meat. Those have no problem with others eating meat.

My girlfriend is vegetarian, but fortunately not the moral kind. I still get to enjoy my meat. She doesn't like too many beers though :( they all are "too hoppy."
 
I've noticed that this tends to depend on WHY she is a vegetarian. If it is a moral issue, you are pretty much screwed but I know a few who just don't like meat. Those have no problem with others eating meat.

We have a vegetarian friend we camp with and she'll actually cook meat. I thought that was very cool and very strange.
 
My daughter's nanny is a vegetarian and part of her duties is to cook meat for my daugher :) Although I'm a proponent for having 1 vegetarian meal per day, so most of her lunches are vegetarian. She doesn't seem to mind the idea of cooking meat, though.

Back on topic... Went to a hipster restaurant in Toronto a couple years ago, and I asked the waitress which keg lines were the cleanest and she flat out said "Steamwhistle's - the rest are neglected". I was both impressed and disgusted at the same time. Why would you openly admit to having dirty lines? Either way, I had a Steamwhistle, which I don't usually care for, and it was delicious. So crisp and clean... she wasn't lying!
 
my wife is a vegetarian. our boys & myself are not. she cooks meat for us, but most our meals are vegetarian. we feel that our boys will make which ever decision they feel is right. but if my wife asked me to go vegetarian, I would. my wife's happiness is more important to me than meat. or beer.
 
How did this thread go from funny beer stuff, to pulp fiction quotes, to vegetarians? If people want to talk about wether or not they eat meat start a new thread.

Back to funny stuff
My FIL was over a few years ago and asked what I was drinking I told him a milk stout. He said get me one ( my fil doesn't like beer just BMC and his favorite is land shark) I told him I wouldn't get him any of my stout because he doesn't like beer ( I have gave him my home brew before with bad results) he says well here just give me a try. He then hands me his little four oz juice glass I said that's not a beer glass I will grab you a sample glass but he insisted on the juice glass. So I pour him maybe 3 oz probably less. He taste maybe a 1/8 of a teaspoon of the beer and says ew this is nasty you drink the rest. Now he never tries my beer.
 
haha! don't flatter yourself. I call a lot of people cowboy. you look more like a brofrush anyhow.


"If you can't slam it, it's not worth drinking." heard at a house party when my brother started handing out some of his Imperial Porters.
 
Billy-Klubb said:
haha! don't flatter yourself. I call a lot of people cowboy. you look more like a brofrush anyhow.

"If you can't slam it, it's not worth drinking." heard at a house party when my brother started handing out some of his Imperial Porters.

Don't know what a brofrush is but sounds neat. And the the imperial porter statement is priceless I guess it people like that that think "drinkability" is a word.
 
Back story: my SWMBO (i still crack up every time I see that posted) hates beer, I love beer... so obviously I do everything in my power to change that :) I've known countless "non-beer" people who I have converted with a specific beer. I'm a firm believer that everyone likes beer, they just don't know it yet. All it takes is that one beer that you find tasty, and it's all downhill from there. So in an effort to convert her she tries (and I love her for being such a good sport) a sip of any new beer i'm drinking...which is at least weekly if not daily. Closest we have come is DFH Tweason'ale...go figure. She is usually pretty tame in her reaction, she likes some parts but overall doesn't dig it.

Tonight's selection is Founders Red Rye IPA, pretty excited cuz a local packy is stocking Founders and I love rye ipas.

I'm like hmm this is really balanced and damn good, "babe, try a sip, not a tongue touch thing but a good swig, look for a grapefruit mixing with rye thing goin on" her instantaneous reaction:

"That is not beer, what the hell did I just drink. I think I just drank dead body juice"
 
"That is not beer, what the hell did I just drink. I think I just drank dead body juice"

Oh great, now we're going to get back onto the zombie apocalypse tangent!

But seriously I LOL'd a bit when I read your post, and I think I might have dated your SWMBO in the past...I feel fortunate that while the eventual and current SWMBO still isn't a big beer drinker, she definitely has a bit more of a palate, and getting better all the time...

Case in point: back when we were dating, she described beers in terms of whether or not they had more "flowers" (hops) or "crackers" (malty)...she kind of shocked herself the first time she actually said "hoppy" instead of "oohh, that's nice flowers!"
 
i bartend at a local beer and shot type of bar and a ton of the customers refer to anything that is not bud or miller lite as a "wheat beer"
drives me nuts
 
i bartend at a local beer and shot type of bar and a ton of the customers refer to anything that is not bud or miller lite as a "wheat beer"
drives me nuts

Face palm. Why do people fall into advertisements and crappy beer lies and think that those are the only beers out there?
 
NewJersey said:
i bartend at a local beer and shot type of bar and a ton of the customers refer to anything that is not bud or miller lite as a "wheat beer"
drives me nuts

Where in NJ are you?
 
Went to TGI Fridays today because I got a gift card. Beer selection was pretty bad so I settled with one I hadn't had but seemed most likely to be a decent "craft" brew

Me: ill have a newcastle brown ale
Waitress: a Newcastle?? (Looks confused)
Me: (trying to help the confusion) do you need my ID or something?
Waitress: umm it's a drink?
I nod
Waitress: um yes please let me see it, anyone who looks under 40 sorry no offense
Me: oh no problem
Waitress: so a new, castle? That's a beer or a cocktail? Sorry I don't drink much

I tend not to be rude to people handling my food and drinks, also I am fairly certain she was new, and she was extremely polite, and apologetic, so I'm not going to flip out on some poor waitress like a dbag, but if she wasn't new then what the hell is wrong with her? I don't care if you don't drink you should know what your restaurant is selling. I have a feeling many people besides myself ask before almost anything else, "what do you have on draft?"

Oh and she came back to tell me they were out of newcastle, so I still haven't had it, is this a good beer?

It's a good beer. Who hasn't had a Newcastle though?
 
Here's one from tonight. I'm currently home for the holidays and was out shopping at Trader Joe's with my mother (who despises all beer, though she tolerates my addiction). I was checking out the beer section and was excited to see that they had this:
84791-vintage-ale.jpg

which is made by Unibroue (my personal favorite brewing co) and is supposed to be excellent. They had cases of it stacked in the middle of the aisle between the wine and beer sections, though the bottle I grabbed was actually from the beer shelf. I was remarking on my excitement about this find to my mother, when a young couple (though I probably shouldn't call them such, since they were probably only a year or two younger than I) comes up to us and the girl picks up one of the bottles and says to me, "Oh, is this really good?" I should mention that, while I try not to stereotype, this pair looked quite like the college-age-but-probably-not-attending-college-BMC drinkers, so I was delighted to see her taking an interest in craft beer. Of course I immediately launch into my explanation that while it's "TJ's", it's actually made my Unibroue and that they make excellent Belgians and are my favorite brewing co. and that I've heard great things about the beer, and for the price ($5) you really can't beat it for a decent Belgian. I get to the end of my explanation and she only has one thing to ask, "So, is it like about the same as this?", and proceeds to hold up a bottle of this:
charles-shaw-white-zin.jpg

Yes, that is Two Buck Chuck. Or rather Three Buck Chuck where I live. And that is most definitely wine.

I was slightly confused by this and explained to her that the beverage in question was beer, not wine, to which she remarked, "Oh! But it's in a wine bottle!" My mother was pretty much kicking me by this point to not have a complete pedantic flipout on the poor girl, so I just calmly explained to her that many Belgian style beers are bottled in champagne-style cork and cage bottles, ignoring the fact that that most certainly is not a wine bottle. Maybe champagne bottle I could understand. If the bottle didn't say "ALE" across the front in two prominent places.

Once she figured out it was beer, she proceeded to tell me that she liked "any alcohol, beer, wine, whatever," and asked what the difference was between that and the beer next to it (also in champagne bottles), a golden ale. I explained that they were both Belgian styles, but this one was darker, and she made the "Eww, Guinness" face, i.e. the "I think dark beers means massive roasted malts and bitterness" face. I started to explain that BSDA's are more likely to have nice raisin/dark fruit notes than bitterness, but I did actually get kicked by my mother at this point, and it was hopeless. She walked out with the bottle of golden ale, thinking it would be closer to the fizzy yellow tasteless lagers she so adores. I only wish I could be a fly on her wall tomorrow when she tastes it.
 
SiriusStarr said:
Here's one from tonight. I'm currently home for the holidays and was out shopping at Trader Joe's with my mother (who despises all beer, though she tolerates my addiction). I was checking out the beer section and was excited to see that they had this:

which is made by Unibroue (my personal favorite brewing co) and is supposed to be excellent. They had cases of it stacked in the middle of the aisle between the wine and beer sections, though the bottle I grabbed was actually from the beer shelf. I was remarking on my excitement about this find to my mother, when a young couple (though I probably shouldn't call them such, since they were probably only a year or two younger than I) comes up to us and the girl picks up one of the bottles and says to me, "Oh, is this really good?" I should mention that, while I try not to stereotype, this pair looked quite like the college-age-but-probably-not-attending-college-BMC drinkers, so I was delighted to see her taking an interest in craft beer. Of course I immediately launch into my explanation that while it's "TJ's", it's actually made my Unibroue and that they make excellent Belgians and are my favorite brewing co. and that I've heard great things about the beer, and for the price ($5) you really can't beat it for a decent Belgian. I get to the end of my explanation and she only has one thing to ask, "So, is it like about the same as this?", and proceeds to hold up a bottle of this:

Yes, that is Two Buck Chuck. Or rather Three Buck Chuck where I live. And that is most definitely wine.

I was slightly confused by this and explained to her that the beverage in question was beer, not wine, to which she remarked, "Oh! But it's in a wine bottle!" My mother was pretty much kicking me by this point to not have a complete pedantic flipout on the poor girl, so I just calmly explained to her that many Belgian style beers are bottled in champagne-style cork and cage bottles, ignoring the fact that that most certainly is not a wine bottle. Maybe champagne bottle I could understand. If the bottle didn't say "ALE" across the front in two prominent places.

Once she figured out it was beer, she proceeded to tell me that she liked "any alcohol, beer, wine, whatever," and asked what the difference was between that and the beer next to it (also in champagne bottles), a golden ale. I explained that they were both Belgian styles, but this one was darker, and she made the "Eww, Guinness" face, i.e. the "I think dark beers means massive roasted malts and bitterness" face. I started to explain that BSDA's are more likely to have nice raisin/dark fruit notes than bitterness, but I did actually get kicked by my mother at this point, and it was hopeless. She walked out with the bottle of golden ale, thinking it would be closer to the fizzy yellow tasteless lagers she so adores. I only wish I could be a fly on her wall tomorrow when she tastes it.

I applaud your patience. When she held up the wine bottle, I would have had to walk away.
 
SiriusStarr said:
Once she figured out it was beer, she proceeded to tell me that she liked "any alcohol, beer, wine, whatever,"

Ha! I used to look for these types of girls.

Catfish78 said:
I applaud your patience. When she held up the wine bottle, I would have had to walk away.

+1
 
I applaud your patience. When she held up the wine bottle, I would have had to walk away.

I would of had to say, "Yes, yes it is, exactly like that one", and laughed out loud at least once a day for the next week when I tried to picture their faces after opening it.:D

Immature, I know, but some people are just beyond educating. There was a wine bar near my old house in AZ that sold Tshirts that said "Friends don't let friends drink white zinfandel"....didn't say anything about having a little fun at the expense of the occasional clueless stranger though.;)
 
WannabeBeerNerd said:
I would of had to say, "Yes, yes it is, exactly like that one", and laughed out loud at least once a day for the next week when I tried to picture their faces after opening it.:D

Immature, I know...

Maybe I am also immature, but I like the way you think. I would be looking crazy, laughing to myself randomly for several days. Eventually I would have to tell SWMBO why, and she would undoubtedly tell me I was a bad person.
 
Ha! I used to look for these types of girls.

We keep coming back to this male thing in this thread... :D

I would of had to say, "Yes, yes it is, exactly like that one", and laughed out loud at least once a day for the next week when I tried to picture their faces after opening it.:D

Immature, I know, but some people are just beyond educating. There was a wine bar near my old house in AZ that sold Tshirts that said "Friends don't let friends drink white zinfandel"....didn't say anything about having a little fun at the expense of the occasional clueless stranger though.;)

I only wish I could have seen my mother and my faces. She is a huge wine aficionado and I am of course a huge craft beer aficionado, so holding up a bottle of really bad wine next to really good beer and comparing them, both of our faces just took on an utterly horrified expression. Trust me, I would have had some fun at their expense, but mothers count as SWMBOs too. :D
 
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