The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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Cape Brewing said:
... Like I was saying before.... you just need to somehow make the toboggans bouyant and as long as you don't have any big waves, it should be fine. If you can get the thing to pretty much float, you shouldn't have a problem having the "rider" holding the tow rope as long as you start off reasonably slow and build momentum. I would think having the rider hold the rope would be safer only because they can let go in case of immenent death. Steering this thing seems like a long shot. My suggestion would 100% be to get this bad larry to float somehow. If not, at the first sign of any hiccups (which there is about a 100% chance of that happeneing within the first 12 seconds), the thing will simply sink right to the bottom... and you've done all sorts of work in order to achieve 12 seconds of fail and a pile of trash at the bottom of the ocean. How about sealing up a couple 1/2 bbl sankes... attaching them to the bottom of the couch itself... and making sure that the toboggans are a good 6 inches lower than the bottom of the kegs? The couch would float like a pontoon boat and when you started pulling, it should slowly come up on a plane. If there was a problem, the thing would just stop and float.
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Even better yet empty plastic malt drums.
 
nhwrecker said:
I'm a little late to the couch surfing party, but why don't you start with an inflatable couch? Must be wicked comfortable - just look how happy they are.
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Lame Mort. Lame. You'll be begging me for the video of the Barka-skiing Couch for next years Sea Rovers Show. If you ask nice I might even be a guest speaker.

Speaking of which, when is this years show?
 
PTN won't listen to my reason, but I'd humbly suggest Washburn Island in Waquoit Bay for your couch skiiing shenanigans. Campsites, easy boat access, watersports in the the bay or boating out past the breakwater, sandy beach, no hassles. Really nice area. You have to reserve campsites in advance.
 
paulthenurse said:
Ya.

Uhhhh no. Not even close.

Nice try.
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You need me to keep this pathetic whine-fest of a thread from devolving into complete banality. You can deny all you want, but you need me to be here. Otherwise there would be nothing left but Melana's avatar (which is pretty kickin', I admit, but she could change it).

The one thing you need to watch for on Washburn is that there are a lot of ticks there. They like to suck on big fat sweaty guys in summer. If PTN shows up everyone else should have a nice, tick-free experience. They swim, so pulling up offshore won't help.
 
Thunder_Chicken said:
PTN won't listen to my reason, but I'd humbly suggest Washburn Island in Waquoit Bay for your couch skiiing shenanigans. Campsites, easy boat access, watersports in the the bay or boating out past the breakwater, sandy beach, no hassles. Really nice area. You have to reserve campsites in advance.
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"Watersports" are really more Dakota's thing. That bastard loves nothing better than pissing on a chicken.
 
Thunder_Chicken said:
You need me to keep this pathetic whine-fest of a thread from devolving into complete banality. You can deny all you want, but you need me to be here. Otherwise there would be nothing left but Melana's avatar (which is pretty kickin', I admit, but she could change it).

The one thing you need to watch for on Washburn is that there are a lot of ticks there. They like to suck on big fat sweaty guys in summer. If PTN shows up everyone else should have a nice, tick-free experience. They swim, so pulling up offshore won't help.
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Was already planning on changing my avatar after Christmas... Back to my boring Cadillac. I think the Caddy is sexy....
 
Apropos of absolutely nothing, I get a huge kick out of those insurance commercials where the guy is a walking talking disaster. I should send them a script for their next commercial...

"I'm a couch. And you decided it would be a spiffy idea to rig me up with a couple of toboggans underneath my feet just so you could tow a few of your pals behind your boat while they drink beer sitting on me. Their widows attorneys giggled when they heard who your insurance company is. By the time they are done with you you'll wish you were with your pals on the bottom of the ocean, strapped down on me..."
 
Bruins are hanging tough on their Canada Tour 2013 trip. Johnson did a good job in net tonight and if they can manage one more win they'll have swept a four game trip and get to come home...

Cheers!
 
happy friday the 13th everyone. I have already walked under a ladder, a black cat crossed my path and broke a mirror....today is gonna be a wonderful day
 
paulthenurse said:
Hey Cape,

Given the call for a foot of snow, will the Bog be frozen over tomorrow or will you put your own spin on things and allow hockey in the fermentation room?
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You're welcome to stop in here for beer Paul...
 
paulthenurse said:
Hey Cape,

Given the call for a foot of snow, will the Bog be frozen over tomorrow or will you put your own spin on things and allow hockey in the fermentation room?
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Jack Abbey already stole the idea. They lost a whole tank of beer. Somehow I think Cape is already thinking of out doing this publicity stunt.




Melana can you post the front of your avatar in your heatless house please?
 
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TheDudeLebowski said:
Melana can you post the front of your avatar in your heatless house please?
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Wow, even I, PTN, of the Thousand and One Tasteless Posts wouldn't go there.

I appreciate the offer Melana. We'll see what tomorrow brings, running the usual gazzillion errands before Christmas all weekend. I've got your #. If I'm in the area I'll give you a shout. Be nice to see you guys again.
 
paulthenurse said:
Wow, even I, PTN, of the Thousand and One Tasteless Posts wouldn't go there.

I appreciate the offer Melana. We'll see what tomorrow brings, running the usual gazzillion errands before Christmas all weekend. I've got your #. If I'm in the area I'll give you a shout. Be nice to see you guys again.
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I'll PM you my number.
 
paulthenurse said:
Wow, even I, PTN, of the Thousand and One Tasteless Posts wouldn't go there. I appreciate the offer Melana. We'll see what tomorrow brings, running the usual gazzillion errands before Christmas all weekend. I've got your #. If I'm in the area I'll give you a shout. Be nice to see you guys again.
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If it doesn't work out this weekend perhaps we could meet up for lunch one day. Since Mrs. The Nurse works about 5 minutes from our house.
 
Cape - I might actually be able to get to the Bog tomorrow. Don't run out of beer.

Although, I did just bottle 10 gallons of beer and have another five about ready to pour...missus is starting to think I have a beer problem. The situation will require some finesse.
 
Thunder_Chicken said:
Cape - I might actually be able to get to the Bog tomorrow. Don't run out of beer.

Although, I did just bottle 10 gallons of beer and have another five about ready to pour...missus is starting to think I have a beer problem. The situation will require some finesse.
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Just tell her you're doing holiday shopping....
 
Thunder_Chicken said:
Cape - I might actually be able to get to the Bog tomorrow. Don't run out of beer.

Although, I did just bottle 10 gallons of beer and have another five about ready to pour...missus is starting to think I have a beer problem. The situation will require some finesse.
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As I look over the seven cases that I have on hand and the four more cases sitting in carboys, I dip down into my stock list of excuses and diversions:

-- I've got to brew more now, once kidding season is here I need to shut it down...

-- See, I don't have a drinking problem, otherwise all this beer would be gone...

-- Well, I'd only have half as much if I didn't do some of the recipes you asked for...

-- So you're saying you want me to stop cleaning the kitchen every weekend?
 
Is it REALLY a good idea to say "You're 16, you made it around the block without running over an old lady, you're good to go for the rest of your life?"

That's a snowblower hanging out the back of Moms minivan.

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