Breast pump to replace march pump?

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instapman

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Just a thought...

I am having a hard time justifying an expensive pump to SWMBO to use for home brewing.

I figured if these things are ok for babies they are ok for my beer...

Some questions arise:

Whats the average GPM for a breast pump?

How much head can you get from one of these breast pumps?

If you can throw these bad boys in the dishwasher would they handle the heat from the wort?

Since there are two suckers, could you use one breast pump in place of two march pumps for wort transfers/sparging?

I would not expect to run any boiling water through one. I doubt it would be ok for temps that high....


Thoughts?
;)
 
i'm pretty real sure that won't work all.

the pump action is different than a regular pump. the pumping force on a breast pump is a sine wave, it's not continuous suck.
 
Eeeewwwww!

Seriously though, I think you'd be disappointed in the flow rate. It's not like mommies are sucking a couple gallons of milk out in a siting.
 
I dont think the flow rate is high enough... If it were, it would rip off peoples nipples.
 
What about a penis pump? It might not give you the best flow rate, but it could increase the size of your beer. :)
 
You could do a manual breast pump...

tobar-ltd-classic-bike-horn.jpg
 
Ever seen one? They basically just trickle the milk out. take 10 minutes or so to get a few ounces.

Do you think I could modify one Tim Taylor style? If I decide to produce and sell these supercharged breast pumps I would have to put a disclaimer on the box. Something like "If there are more than two breast pumps in the house be sure to label the pump for the proper usage/safety" or something along those lines...
 
I dont think the flow rate is high enough... If it were, it would rip off peoples nipples.

It scares me that you didn't specify "women" - Dwain
 
ROFLOL! Thanks guys! I needed this therapy today.

All these things do is create a very slight vacuum in a collection cup. They don't actually pump anything. At least that's all the $$$$$$$$$$$$ one we bought did. You could buy about 3 March pumps for what that thing cost us.
 
ROFLOL! Thanks guys! I needed this therapy today.

All these things do is create a very slight vacuum in a collection cup. They don't actually pump anything. At least that's all the $$$$$$$$$$$$ one we bought did. You could buy about 3 March pumps for what that thing cost us.

At most, I had considered using our for a mash stirrer. The gear box on ours is insane.
 
Do you think I could modify one Tim Taylor style? If I decide to produce and sell these supercharged breast pumps I would have to put a disclaimer on the box. Something like "If there are more than two breast pumps in the house be sure to label the pump for the proper usage/safety" or something along those lines...

No. Just market it to the BDSM community.
 
I suppose that even if it did work a brew session may go something like this:

"Hey, father-in-law, grab your daughters ole breast pump over there. we're going to use it to transfer the wort into the boil kettle now."
 
I don't know about using the breast pump for wort, but if you are trying to use one pump for both, I'd try to convince the wife to use a march pump for breast milk. Just ratchet down the output and she'll be fine.
 
Just a thought...
Whats the average GPM for a breast pump?
AND from SankeyPanky
I don't know about using the breast pump for wort, but if you are trying to use one pump for both, I'd try to convince the wife to use a march pump for breast milk. Just ratchet down the output and she'll be fine.

That is just TOO funny! Glad I didn't have a beer with me (I'm at work) or I'd have lost some brew for sure!

Though I really love the suggestion of talking the wife into using a pair of March Pumps....
 
...all that other stuff and have you priced a breast pump? You could buy two March pumps for the cost of a nice breast pump.
 
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