Funny things you've overheard about beer

CornyKegs 728
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Araknaphob1c said:
A little off topic, it isn't so funny as much as frustrating. I was at a place in Austin called Red's Porch and I was trying to ask what seasonals they had on tap then the waiter cut me off mid sentence and asked "Light, Dark, or hoppy?" I was a bit frustrated by this because he completely ignored my question and treated me as though I had no idea what I was looking for.
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I went to a nice restaurant a little while ago and was drinking a Great Lakes nosferatu at the bar waiting for the others in our party. So we get to the table and I ask to waiter for an ipa this time. Well he cuts me off saying "that's too dark to be an ipa, that's more like a stout" ......uhhhh no but okay. And i didn't ask what i was drinking, i asked what ipa's were on tap. And he keeps going on about it until I have to interrupt him and ask for a 60 minute.

I'm the only one who noticed the false information and annoyingly interruptive waiter so I just let it go.
 
I was at Market Garden Brewery in Cleveland with my girlfriend and her mom. Mom asks the waitress "What do you have that's similar to Leinenkugle Summer Shandy?" The waitress politely recommended their lightest lager or their wheat beer. No big deal.

I ordered a Stone 12.12.12. I offered her a sip and she says, "oh, its just like Guinness!"

Eh, what can ya do? I let it slide.
 
Araknaphob1c said:
A little off topic, it isn't so funny as much as frustrating. I was at a place in Austin called Red's Porch and I was trying to ask what seasonals they had on tap then the waiter cut me off mid sentence and asked "Light, Dark, or hoppy?" I was a bit frustrated by this because he completely ignored my question and treated me as though I had no idea what I was looking for.
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So is hoppy a color?
 
Did anyone else read the Cracked article "5 Alcohol Ads That Confirm Your Worst Fears About Drinking"?

There was a guy in the comments section who posted (and this is verbatim):

"You've gotta remember that when you buy commercial or corporate alcohol you're most likely paying taxes. Taxes, of course go toward imprisoning nonviolent people for victimless crimes and waging wars of aggression against brown people in faraway lands. Budweiser and Jack Daniels build our fascist police state. That's why I homebrew."

Now, in no way am I trying to turn this thread into a political debate, but I've never heard anybody cite that as their primary excuse for getting into homebrewing.
 
drainbamage said:
Did anyone else read the Cracked article "5 Alcohol Ads That Confirm Your Worst Fears About Drinking"?

There was a guy in the comments section who posted (and this is verbatim):

"You've gotta remember that when you buy commercial or corporate alcohol you're most likely paying taxes. Taxes, of course go toward imprisoning nonviolent people for victimless crimes and waging wars of aggression against brown people in faraway lands. Budweiser and Jack Daniels build our fascist police state. That's why I homebrew."

Now, in no way am I trying to turn this thread into a political debate, but I've never heard anybody cite that as their primary excuse for getting into homebrewing.
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*clears throat, takes a sip of coffee, clears throat again* huhuh *clears throat again, harmonizes* Bwahahahahahaha!!!
 
I was once at a bar and a friend ordered a Rolling Rock. When he asked why it cost more than another friends Bud he was told "Rolling Rock is an import. It comes in a green bottle."
 
Jsaga said:
I was once at a bar and a friend ordered a Rolling Rock. When he asked why it cost more than another friends Bud he was told "Rolling Rock is an import. It comes in a green bottle."
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Ah yes the international green bottle law, it's so we can tell the difference, to encourage us to buy American to pay taxes to the right place to fund the police state so we can wage wars of aggression. The green bottle law is oppressive in nature to immigrating beer and should be repealed! I have a dream that ALL bottles are created equal.
 
They're green because they're what used to be called "greenhorns". It was derogatory slang for a "DP" or person from another country. They sure can chop up & throw the mortadella around,can't they? :D
 
what's funny is I have heard comments before about BMC/Jack Daniels/Marlboro being "Nazi corporations" because WP folks use their products. I even knew a guy that claimed that Lynard Skynard were nazi's because of the Neil Young comment in Sweet Home Alabama. I asked how he figured. he replied, "Because Neil Young is Jewish and that's why they hate him." and it couldn't have been the song "Southern Man" that ticked them off a little? and that is why I home brew.
 
Old story, but was referenced in today's paper.
Dan Rooney, who owned the General Braddock Brewery, which closed in 1937, was asked by someone who saw a beer labeled 'premium', "How do you become a premium beer?"
"Young man, the first thing you do is tell your printer," Rooney replied.
 
cluckk said:
I'm a pastor, so I started homebrewing to torque off the legalistic church folks who pontificate with "Alcohol is sin!" and "Thou shalt not..." That's what Jesus would do.

Great! We've gone from the topic of the thread, to politics and now to religion! Oops!:eek: :off:
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I love the "alcohol is a sin" folks...I am a "what would Jesus do" sorta guy...Jesus turned water into wine...I turn water into beer.
 
I'm in the same camp. As a brewer and a Christian, it's made for many fun conversations. We're (God willing) opening a nano in the next year or so. We have plans to have a brews and the bible weekly meeting, probably start by going though "God made wine".

On to the funny things,
My brother in law asked my wife and I if we'd tried this new kind of beer. IPA. He really liked it though, except he had a few batches that were too bitter. My wife shot me a look that made me love her even more.
 
Just went to famous Dave's BBQ....which was definitely not the best BBQ but back to beer:

I overheard a customer asking for a 90 schilling when the "head" bartender replied, "sorry we don't carry that but we have Avalanche from Breckenridge Brewing which is just like 90 schilling"

i listened as the guy laughed and responded with "um....definitely not the same"

Lol
 
GrogNerd said:
“At no time in my life, prior to me becoming an alcoholic, was I ever informed that alcohol was habit forming and addictive.”

yeah, I call BS
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Yeah you gotta love the litigious society we live in. Ignoring personal responsibility whilst on the hunt for the deepest pocket seems to be the new American Dream. I remember a story a while back where a lady was suing Jack Daniels because her baby was born with birth defects and nobody told her that drinking a fifth of whiskey a day while pregnant was a bad thing.
 
I was at my girlfriends house for the holidays and somebody offered her grandfather a Leinenkugels. He responded by saying, "If I drink one of those, I will probably start talking like those people." We explained it was brewed right here in Wisconsin and he proceeded to drink one exclaiming, "This is pretty good." I was dying inside with laughter.
 
logan3825 said:
I am not sure how this is funny. Stupid people like this is why we have dry counties and such restrictive liquor laws. Stupid frivolous lawsuits.
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Sorry I have to disagree with you, super human levels of stupidity is a great source of comedy. Once I realized, if you let human stupidity make you frustrated and mad all the time you will be miserable, I was a lot better off. Trust me, I spent several years of my life furious about how stupid people are, one day I just laughed at somebody in line at a fast food place. She was dumb and rude and it hit me why get mad and let her bring me down with her. She walked up from behind me when I had been in line, and insisted she was next? I didn't argue or anything, probably a first for me. Instead, I just laughed right in this woman's face, I promise it felt better then trying to argue back or reason with her. Some people just aren't capable, and we can't control or fix them.
 
GrogNerd said:
“At no time in my life, prior to me becoming an alcoholic, was I ever informed that alcohol was habit forming and addictive.”

yeah, I call BS
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No doubt they remembered the "hey, I didn't know my hot coffee would burn me" lawsuit against McDonald's and figured they couldn't lose.

Expect to see a "CAUTION: Contents may exacerbate existing brain damage" (no pun intended regarding my username) warning on your next bottle of store-bought beer... *facepalm*
 
Coupleathree said:
I was at my girlfriends house for the holidays and somebody offered her grandfather a Leinenkugels. He responded by saying, "If I drink one of those, I will probably start talking like those people." We explained it was brewed right here in Wisconsin and he proceeded to drink one exclaiming, "This is pretty good." I was dying inside with laughter.
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People in Wisconsin do talk kind of funny (I used to live there and I still say wis-CON-sin)
 
bergen69 said:
People in Wisconsin do talk kind of funny (I used to live there and I still say wis-CON-sin)
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*another off topic post*

Yup my wifes from there i live on the boarderline illinois and wisconsin. They talk similar to canadians. They say road like chris farly and david spade in black sheep :) rOAd
 
drainbamage said:
No doubt they remembered the "hey, I didn't know my hot coffee would burn me" lawsuit against McDonald's and figured they couldn't lose.

Expect to see a "CAUTION: Contents may exacerbate existing brain damage" (no pun intended regarding my username) warning on your next bottle of store-bought beer... *facepalm*
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If you research the McDonalds case with the coffee you will realize that the woman that got burnt deserved every dollar she got. I use to think it was stupid too until I read the details. Sorry off topic.
 
JoeyChopps said:
If you research the McDonalds case with the coffee you will realize that the woman that got burnt deserved every dollar she got. I use to think it was stupid too until I read the details. Sorry off topic.
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Why do you say that?
 
off/on topic regarding human idiocy: when I lived in Vegas, a couple was suing one of the big casinos, each with their own lawsuit. the man claimed he went into their bathroom to drop a deuce and gut his hairy walnuts squashed between the seat & rim of the terlet. how in the giant floccing squirrels he did that on accident goes beyond the normal perimeters of public crapper etiquette. the woman was suing because he could not preform his husbandry duties.
 
JoeyChopps said:
If you research the McDonalds case with the coffee you will realize that the woman that got burnt deserved every dollar she got. I use to think it was stupid too until I read the details. Sorry off topic.
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190 degree coffee good god no wonder she was burned so bad.
 
JoeyChopps said:
If you research the McDonalds case with the coffee you will realize that the woman that got burnt deserved every dollar she got. I use to think it was stupid too until I read the details. Sorry off topic.
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Maybe they were serving the coffee hotter than necessary, I'll give you that. But still, potentially hot (or sharp, for that matter) objects getting around my crotchal region tends to raise a red flag in my mind.

But I digress...sorry for the OT.
 
Not only was the coffee nearing boiling the kid at the window basically dropped the coffee in her lap. In other reports the kid running the window had been reprimanded for not putting tops on drinks properly and spilling them into cars. The woman suffered third degree burns and disfigured/ burned vagina for the rest of her life. Sorry to be off topic I get so sick of hearing about BS lawsuits and the McDonalds coffee lady comes up and saying that she didn't deserve or shouldn't have sued is just plain wrong. Again sorry OT
 
Punity said:
190 degree coffee good god no wonder she was burned so bad.
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The optimum temp for the water when brewing coffee is 195d to 200d...so Micky D's was doing what should be done.
 
JoeyChopps said:
Not only was the coffee nearing boiling the kid at the window basically dropped the coffee in her lap. In other reports the kid running the window had been reprimanded for not putting tops on drinks properly and spilling them into cars. The woman suffered third degree burns and disfigured/ burned vagina for the rest of her life. Sorry to be off topic I get so sick of hearing about BS lawsuits and the McDonalds coffee lady comes up and saying that she didn't deserve or shouldn't have sued is just plain wrong. Again sorry OT
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Reports I read said she spilled it in her own lap after her son pulled the car away from the window and parked the car for her to remove the lid and put cream and sugar in the cup herself...
 

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