Never out cook your mother in-law.

Learn from my mistakes.

If it's your first thanksgiving with the new family after you are newly wed.. do not take over the chaotic kitchen, save the turkey from death, make a gravy that makes the wifey's mom cry in humiliation and then sit down with a beer after saving the day without breaking a sweat.

it will end badly.

I had the opposite happen. When my wife (then girlfriend) too me to meet her mom for the first time, I threw her out of the kitchen and cooked dinner for all of us. When I was in cleaning up afterwards, she told SWMBO to keep this one.

Oh geez.....really? So the family should rather suffer from bad food, when someone perfectly capable of saving the day is present?

oy vey.....

LOL.
The thought I was a keeper, until I was able to identify grandma's secret ingredient that no one else had ever identified. LOL.

Promptly put on the "Hate You" list

the first thanksgiving after my divorce... I ended up cooking for a thanksgiving party. Little did I know that I was the only male in the room.
I have pictures somewhere. :cross:

Revvy said:

Oh geez.....really? So the family should rather suffer from bad food,

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that family -- bad food = tradition.

It's kinda funny. My sister is a great cook...but every holiday she tries to out Martha Stewart Martha Stewart, with huge, multi sided, complex dishes...where we'd gather at 3 pm and would be lucky if we ate by 7pm....and she'd spend the entire day in their kinda cramped kitchen, the food, delicious though it might be would often come out a different times and inevitably by the time everything was out on the table, it would be cold. And she'd inevitably break down

So about 3 or 4 years ago I got her for Christmas a set of catering grade chafing setups. You know the big ones that use 2 sternos, and with the right inserts can hold two items per unit?

So along with the gift I started expediting everything. Getting all the sides off the stove/oven and into a warming pan...and thats when I also started making the gravy for whatever the main was.

And like I said in the taproom, today culminated in a really fun, and smooth holiday, where the 5 of us (it was a small group this year) all stayed in the kitchen for most of the time tasting beer and wine and having a great time....and the gravy I made this years was phenominal also....

It's gotten really better the last few years, a lot less stressfull, and we really get to enjoy the food all at it's prime, instead of luke warm.

I kinda thought the same thing when I jumped in a few years ago...but she just realized that with me calmly expediting it worked out much better.

Revvy said:

It's gotten really better the last few years, a lot less stressfull, and we really get to enjoy the food all at it's prime

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I would venture that you enjoy each other more as well.

Never outdo your mother-in-law in such a way as to insult her, but do prove your worth in the kitchen. Your relationship with the infamous MIL may improve by leaps and bounds.

Feel free to point out the painfully obvious faults in food cooked by your aunt who went to culinary school and remains inept. She needs to be knocked down a peg, anyway.

Yuri_Rage said:

Never outdo your mother-in-law in such a way as to insult her, but do prove your worth in the kitchen. Your relationship with the infamous MIL may improve by leaps and bounds.

Feel free to point out the painfully obvious faults in food cooked by your aunt who went to culinary school and remains inept. She needs to be knocked down a peg, anyway.

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This from todays purveyor of food porn. :rockin:

The greenegged smoked turkey looked like it should be illegal in at least 37 states.

Revvy said:

The greenegged smoked turkey looked like it should be illegal in at least 37 states.

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the 38th state allows marriage to said smoked turkey.

thataintchicken said:

the 38th state allows marriage to said smoked turkey.

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LOL!!!!

I miss smoked turkey...or having a smoker or anything like that in general. THAT's the part of loft living that sucks, no yard.

That's why I have to haul my turkey fryer to friend's to brew full volume AG.

The smoked turkey at this year's family feast was unholy good.
There were pentagrams in the meat when we cut them.

I decided yesterday that I LOVE my future son-in-law. LOVE him. He peeled potatoes (without being asked) during the packer game, and quartered them into the pot. He enjoyed the dinner, and ate even the squash (which my daughter has never even tasted in her entire life).

He got up while the "older" people (and his lazy fiancee) were still having coffee, and quietly cleared the table. The dishwasher was loaded, and he came back quietly and sat down and it was like he'd done it for 20 years. No fanfare, and he did it so unobstrusively that it didn't interuppt the guests' conversation.

He loved the desserts, especially the pumpkin cheesecake. Upon getting ready to leave, he thanked us and told us how wonderful everything was.

LOVE that guy.

MIL thinks she makes the greatest gravy ever made by anyone, anywhere, anytime, in the first of cooking. There is not one single piece of real food in it. Just different powders and mixes and some ketchup. No drippings, no gizzards, no anything. I made a simple gravy with some chicken stock mixed with the drippings a little salt and pepper and some flour to thicken. I am now officially banned from her kitchen.

YooperBrew said:

I decided yesterday that I LOVE my future son-in-law. LOVE him. He peeled potatoes (without being asked) during the packer game, and quartered them into the pot. He enjoyed the dinner, and ate even the squash (which my daughter has never even tasted in her entire life).

He got up while the "older" people (and his lazy fiancee) were still having coffee, and quietly cleared the table. The dishwasher was loaded, and he came back quietly and sat down and it was like he'd done it for 20 years. No fanfare, and he did it so unobstrusively that it didn't interuppt the guests' conversation.

He loved the desserts, especially the pumpkin cheesecake. Upon getting ready to leave, he thanked us and told us how wonderful everything was.

LOVE that guy.

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He knew that he was on thin ice!

Even sober I'm Still mis reading this thread as "Never cook your mother in-law."

YooperBrew said:

He peeled potatoes (without being asked) during the packer game, and quartered them into the pot.

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Buy a potato ricer and stop peeling potatoes. Quarter them, boil them and rice them--- skins come off in the ricer.

My first LTR, we went to her mother's for TD. Mom never made gravy because "It's too hard." So, I took 5 minutes to make some. Then they wanted me to carve the turkey with a knife that had not been sharpened in decades. The steel helped some and her father's comment was, "So, that's what that thing is for."

And the only smoke was from the chains hanging out of both their faces. Blarg!

No, I did not volunteer to cook the next year, or any year thereafter.

Note: I mash the skins in with the spuds.

david_42 said:

Note: I mash the skins in with the spuds.

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When I make them, that's a +1. Roast some garlic (whole cloves) in the oven for a while and squeeze that goodness in there as well.

the first yr i went to swmbo's 'rent for tday i was in the kitchen helping and her sister pulled her aside and asked if i was real. apparently the males in that family sit and smoke while the women cook all meals.


the swmbo also says she thought she could cook until she had my food

Yoop!

I hope this means things are going better for you. Sounds like he's pulling his weight... Good for you. I was worried for you after your past post.

OP: careful what you wish for... I did the same thing with my MIL, and she now expects top-notch cooking all the time when she visits. Even Martha Stewart has bad days!

I love to cook and do it every day. Do what you love.

Not really related but just an observation. Between my wife and I we spend over 8 hours in the kitchen yesterday for a meal that was gone in under 1/2 hour.

r2eng said:

Yoop!

I hope this means things are going better for you. Sounds like he's pulling his weight... Good for you. I was worried for you after your past post.

OP: careful what you wish for... I did the same thing with my MIL, and she now expects top-notch cooking all the time when she visits. Even Martha Stewart has bad days!

I love to cook and do it every day. Do what you love.

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Well, better is relative, I guess. I mean, I love the guy. He's a good guy. I'd like him better if he and my daughter waited 5 years before starting a family, though.

I usually DO leave the skins on the potatoes, but this time it was for "company" and they were redskinned store bought potatoes that I wanted peeled. I did make garlic mashed potatoes, and lots of butter.

The Thanksgiving guests that were unable to make it yesterday due to illness are now on their way. So, we're having Thanksgiving dinner take 2 in a few hours.

My biggest hit was the double layer pumpkin cheesecake. The second biggest hit was the fresh turkey on the charcoal grill, after being brined. Probably the best turkey we've ever had.

My MIL is an excellent cook, so don't get me wrong, but this year's thanksgiving? We had ham (Very nice) Turkey (very nice).....Everything else? Ther was some kinda cranberry thing that everyone loved because it was sweet. A yam and nut thing that everyone loved because it was so sweet that it was like a dessert. Potatoes that were somehow like dessert potatoes.......Anyone want pie for desert? All I could think was no thanks! I've just had a main course of fooking dessert with maybe a dash of savoury! Ick!!

I'm a crap cook, but honestly, I think i should do it next year! At least we would get some taste and crunchy bits! I felt like I had battled my way through a fooking trifle!

The boys in my family do all the cooking. I spent thanksgiving at my GF's (hopefully soon to be preSWMBO) parent's house. I offered to cook everything, but only ended up doing the potatoes and the gravy. According to my gf everyone was extremely grateful that I did what I managed to do, because the potatoes weren't dry and actually had flavor, and they usually use frozen turkey gravy because her mom fails at making it every year - they had the frozen gravy ready to go but opted to go for mine. I also, of course, made the beer

It was never difficult to out-cook my m-i-l. She's a horrible cook! She would overcook EVERYTHING, and her definition of "spicy" was adding pepper to her over-abbundance of salt.
After 10 years of her dry turkey, bland stuffing, and other tasteless offerings, My now ex and I decided that WE were having Thanksgiving dinner at our new house. Her mother invaded my kitchen (I was doing most of the cooking, as my ex learned how to cook from her mother) and proceeded to tell me what I was doing wrong, how she never even heard of brining a turkey, much less did it, and how bad everything was for us. Not to mention mumbling about how I was going to ruin the dinner because I was already drinking..Upon which, she was ejected from the room, under threat of force.
Once we sat down to eat, she continued to rail on about how unhealthy my sausage dressing was...and then went on to have two servings. The bird came out moist and juicy, and everyone left fattened and happy, after asking for my dressing and brine recipes.

I think if theres anything additional to learn from all of this is that homebrewers make excellent cooks. I guess thas due to the fact some of us brew in the kitchen or even make meals that are complementary to select beers or wines. wish i had thanksgiving the other day.
For the guys going to inlaws or future inlaws for the christmas holidays learn somthing from this we dont want any repeats of these negative circumstances.
Cheers!

I could serve my own room temperature feces on a bed of maggots and still out cook my mother-in-law. Holidays are hell.

Heh, I don't plan to. My girlfriend's mom is a Bosnian farmer's daughter. I usually don't cook anything more complicated than pasta carbonara. Nuff said.

ak40kush said:

I think if theres anything additional to learn from all of this is that homebrewers make excellent cooks. I guess thas due to the fact some of us brew in the kitchen or even make meals that are complementary to select beers or wines. wish i had thanksgiving the other day.
For the guys going to inlaws or future inlaws for the christmas holidays learn somthing from this we dont want any repeats of these negative circumstances.
Cheers!

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I've been cooking since I was 10, and I came into brewing through my love of food. You are right there are a ton of great cook/brewers on here. :rockin:

Just go ahead and cook a woman, Revvy. Cook her up and chow down. Don't eat any dudes though.

Isn't it DB that grindes them up and keeps them in a freezer?

I fried a turkey yesterday. My MIL threw-up after dinner...

ak40kush said:

I think if theres anything additional to learn from all of this is that homebrewers make excellent cooks.

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I'm not. I'm a horrible cook. I once made pot pies that were frozen in the middle and blackened on the outside!

Oh, wait that's my aunt, nevermind.

My MIL has learned, much like my wife, to sit at the table with fork in hand and wait for me to announce dinner. At least while at my house. She used to hover over my shoulder making suggestions, or asking if I was overspicing something, but she has gotten better about that.

This year was simple though, just SWMBO and the kids. I did the brined smoked turkey on the BBQ with my homemade rub, SWMBO did the sides, Youngest made the fresh cranberries with orange juice and zest, and the oldest made the pumpkin pies (both girls had just a LITTLE help from dad).

As mentioned, 8 hours of cooking and 20 minutes of eating, but it was all worth it. Finished up the day with a bottle of Apfelwein.

When you have cooked professionaly for 20 years and you have a blue collar family no one questions a thing you do.

Revvy said:

I've been cooking since I was 10, and I came into brewing through my love of food. You are right there are a ton of great cook/brewers on here. :rockin:

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Ditto, I prefered Julia Child, Jeff Smith, Yan Can Cook, Justin Wilson etc to Mighty Mouse and Bugs Bunny when I was a kid...

My mother made sure I could cook and do some basic sewing before I got out on my own. Most people make sure their girls have these skills, but not their boys. It's good for a boy to know how to cook. 1... they're going to be single for at least SOME point in their lives, so they should be able to feed themselves. And 2... there's no better way to impress a girl than to cook for her. Guys should know how to cook!

It's pretty sad when your ex-girlfriend calls you up to ask you if you can cook her something "Just for old time's sake"

wolfstar said:

Ditto, I prefered Julia Child, Jeff Smith, Yan Can Cook, Justin Wilson etc to Mighty Mouse and Bugs Bunny when I was a kid...

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Yup, My first cooking show was Wok with Yan on channel 9 out of Canada, I made my mom take me down to a chinese market and buy me a wok.