Maddox Quote of the Day

HoppyDaze · Jul 9, 2009

most are familiar with his work...for those who aren't Read This

Today's quote:

"Oh no, Lexmark has banned me? Good riddance. Every Lexmark printer I've ever used has been a piece of ****. One time I was trying to print a picture of me so I could give it to a friend to cheer him up after he was diagnosed with cancer, but the printer jammed, and my friend died. Thanks for nothing, ********."

jerryodom · Jul 9, 2009

I love Maddox. He's the ultimate male. I really love the crappy children's artwork bit.

This one would receive an "A" if the assignment was to throw as much random **** onto a paper as poorly as you can. I've pissed patterns on snow that look more coherent than this.

Trubadour · Jul 9, 2009

Maddox is my son's name, so he already has one point.

jerryodom · Jul 9, 2009

Trubadour said:
Maddox is my son's name, so he already has one point.

Damn dude you named your son after the most manly blogger of all time. Sweet

MeatyPortion · Jul 9, 2009

Did he actually update for once?

edit----nope

jerryodom · Jul 9, 2009

nah but it was some of the funniest stuff out there in his day.

RogerMcAllen · Jul 9, 2009

I've never read, but I did some searching and came across this gem describing his thoughts on shirts that make girls look pregnant. It pretty much sums up my thoughts exactly:

marubozo · Jul 9, 2009

MeatyPortion · Jul 10, 2009

The iPod article was one of my favorites, right up there with StarWars III: A steaming pile of Sith.

yermej · Jul 10, 2009

Reading the pun/Dave Matthews rant always cheers me up.

masonsjax · Jul 10, 2009

I love maddox. His book was pretty enteraining too. His tribute to real men is right on the money. A tribute to real men.

Trubadour · Jul 12, 2009

Not Maddox, but these are some funny-ass websites also that are worth checking out...

Jeff and his magic spandex pants

E-mails from an *******

HoppyDaze · Jul 14, 2009

"On the left is Mark David Keller, wanted for paying young homeless boys for sex. Notice the telltale sign of a man who has a penchant for boy ass: the pedophile-smile or "pedosmile." It's part smirk, part grin, and all molester. It's like he's having a two-for-one sale on rape, no refunds or exchanges."

GilaMinumBeer · Jul 14, 2009

RogerMcAllen said:
I've never read, but I did some searching and came across this gem describing his thoughts on shirts that make girls look pregnant. It pretty much sums up my thoughts exactly:

WHATEVER!

I'd stand to salute anyone of those girls. Cause preggers girls are HAWT!

captianoats · Jul 14, 2009

Here's another great website. TuckerMax.com

html034 · Jul 16, 2009

captianoats said:
Here's another great website. TuckerMax.com

Thank you so much
:rockin:

HoppyDaze · Jul 21, 2009

How to kill yourself like a man:

Headbutt the sidewalk:
Manliness: 10 Style: 3 Awesomeness: 10 Mess: 4

What you need: a sidewalk.

How to do it:

Step 1: Slam your head into the sidewalk.
Step 2: Repeat.

Headbutting is probably the manliest thing ever. Not only is it useful for suicide, it's also a great way to break up with your girlfriend. For example, I couldn't find the words to tell my ex that our relationship was over, so one day while we were watching TV I headbutt her in the tits. Then I picked up my jacket and left. No awkward goodbyes, no "still friends" bull****. Just a couple of bruised titties and a failed relationship. I rule.

HoppyDaze · Jul 21, 2009

"I have a different stance on abortion: I'm against abortion, but for killing babies. That way everyone loses, and I win. I'm neither pro choice, nor pro life; I'm pro you-shutting-the-hell-up. The only way I'd be "pro choice" is if it meant I could choose which babies I could abort, and only then if I could lift the age restriction to 80. I was at this mall the other day watching some ****ty documentary when I came out of the theater and saw old people dancing to country music in the courtyard. I couldn't remember the last time I saw a group of people begging this hard to be aborted."

MBasile · Jul 21, 2009

I really don't get that guy. Does he really think people care that much about his opinions? That's whats wrong with the internet, it gives people the false idea that because they can mass communicate their opinions, that magically people actually care.

I mean really, ranting about a printer company? He sounds like an emo computer geek.

masonsjax · Jul 21, 2009

It's called humor.

GregR · Jul 22, 2009

MBasile said:
I really don't get that guy. Does he really think people care that much about his opinions? That's whats wrong with the internet, it gives people the false idea that because they can mass communicate their opinions, that magically people actually care.

I mean really, ranting about a printer company? He sounds like an emo computer geek.

How is it possible that a guy with a small penis and a hairy back is more powerful than Pepsi on the Internet?

he's more powerful than pepsi

HoppyDaze · Jul 31, 2009

MBasile said:
I really don't get that guy. Does he really think people care that much about his opinions? That's whats wrong with the internet, it gives people the false idea that because they can mass communicate their opinions, that magically people actually care.

I mean really, ranting about a printer company? He sounds like an emo computer geek.

Sounds like he crushed you in one of his updates.

HoppyDaze · Jul 31, 2009

Alright, can we all just agree that people can't cast spells and astrology is bull****? While we're at it, let's stop using the phrase "I'm not religious, I'm spiritual." Every time I hear anyone call themselves "spiritual," it's just after they mention astrology and just before I land a flying elbow to their ovaries (as anyone who believes in astrology is undoubtedly a woman who needs to be punched in the crotch). Most people who read horoscopes also buy into other new age crap like tarot cards and self-healing.

Self healing? Self healing was perfected by Rambo in Rambo: First Blood when he stitched his arm shut after he cracked a kid's back while jumping off a cliff (and the only reason his arm split open was because he's so tough he wanted to make the bad guys think they had a chance, but yeah right.. it was like Rambo sent them all Christmas cards, but instead of cards it was murder).

I forgot about this one...

Maddox Quote of the Day

Help Support Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum:

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Internet Bartender

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

I can has homebrew?

Internet Bartender

Well-Known Member

Supporting Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Half-fast Prattlarian

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Supporting Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Similar threads

Join the conversation!

Join today and get all the highlights of this community direct to your inbox. It's FREE!