When it comes to a gift for my wife... I receive an EPIC FAIL!

I don't care what most SWMBO's say, when they agree to go frugal it means that they will buy cheap for you but you'd better pull out all the stops for them.

You can't go wrong with expensive. Jewelry is most often a can't miss. Maybe something with her birthstone or a gem of her favorite color, something like that. Just make sure it's not too flashy that she'll never wear it. I can't tell you the items of jewelry that sit in a box in a drawer that only get worn once a year.

Another great idea brought up by a PP is spa time. Arrange for some pampering for her and a friend. Maybe in addition to a massage, she get's her hair done and a manicure and pedicure. Look into a package.

My SWMBO likes gadgets so I have gotten her things like an ipod or the new latest greatest cell phone.

Do some research and see if there is a concert, play, musical, ballet, or symphony playing in your area and buy tickets for you and her or her and some friends. This will more than likely entail you sucking it up and suffering through some sort of miserable cultural activity for an evening. You could even add-on dinner reservations or a gift certificate to her favorite restaurant to make a night of it. Try this website Vermont Arts Council Home or you may have to make a day trip to Montreal, lol. Whatever it is, show her you are willing to happily suffer through something that she may love knowing that you hate and that is a gift in itself.

That's all I've got for you. You could brew her a commemorative holiday brew or something like that, but I doubt it's going to be well received.


Good luck!

YooperBrew said:

NO toasters, mixmasters, roombas, etc.

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I'd DIE for a roomba for christmas. I've been telling hwmbo about it for the last 3 months. I'm sure I'll end up with gun parts for the rifle he can't wait for me to be done with, but what can ya do.

bearkluttz said:

Z, Two words... Coach Bag. Frugal? NO. Happy SWMBO? HELL YES!

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+1, and they can be found on eBay (even new ones) for less. My wife and I were in a store and she saw a Coach bag that she fell in love with post-Valentine's. I make mental note for her birthday. Go back to store to buy, D'oh! Sold out, and just my luck - it was a limited edition so they're not getting anymore. When I buy my wife the diamond earrings in a jewelry store in NYC, I tell her at dinner what I wanted to get. She is now bummed, and is frustrated I didn't go back immediately after we saw it and put it away. We buy fake, sorta looks like it bag in China Town. Little does she know that after many hours invested on eBay, she now has the Coach bag she originally wanted wrapped up under the tree. $110 isn't bad for the look on her face.

You and my wife share the gift ideas in common. I start dropping hints for what I want around November, and she still has no idea what to get me. The way we solved the problem? We have amazon.com wishlists (because you can add any product that is for sale on the internet to their wish list). I keep mine updated throughout the year, and it covers all price points (from $5 all the way up to $1000) so all she has to do when something is coming up is buy something off the list. And amazon has a filter set up, so I can't see that she's bought it until after the event. Might be good to try.

curt656 said:

I don't care what most SWMBO's say, when they agree to go frugal it means that they will buy cheap for you but you'd better pull out all the stops for them.


Good luck!

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I disagree with this- I'd feel like a total **** if we agree to be frugal this year because of the economy and the commercialization of Christmas, and I got an expensive gift. I'd feel like I'd been "had", if that makes sense.

Seriously, it's the thought that counts. That's why buying gifts is so hard- it's easy to pick up a pair of diamond earrings. It's not so easy to get something thoughtful and meaningful that doesn't cost much. That's why it's appreciated more.

See, my wife and I are not your typical couple. When she says frugal she really means frugal for both of us.

She is not into stereotypical gifts for a "woman"

Our idea of a fun weekend when we lived in a city was going on a thrift store shopping spree to every thrift store we could find. When we occasionally have a date these days (two very young kids & baren landscape for babysitters...) We often go to the one thrift store in town.

We have often done only handmade gifts too.

Yoopers suggestions had us pegged pretty well.

I guess the problem is I never get a "wow" out of her and often the gifts I get do not get used.

Part of it is she is just not a person who shows much emotion easily. I suppose I am just being too critical of myself, as usual. Guess its part of her being a Minnesotan.

"Oh yah, that's pretty good, thanks."

I got an idea.... I didn't see it in any of the previous posts... but I know that MOST women would like to get these.....

CASHMERE SOCKS. They go nuts for them. Soft and warm. And cheaper than, say, a cashmere sweater.

Otherwise... Make Your Own Gift Basket with a gift card to a nice restaurant, a gift card to a movie theater (or play or whatever), a gift card for somewhere dessert-y afterwards (bonus points if your town has a Cheesecake Factory... mine doesnt. ) ...

Or one year I made SWMBO a basket with her favorite things... mugs, hot cocoa and nice tea, bags of Peanut m&m's, popcorn, Blockbuster gift certs, some random lotion/etc from Bath & Body Works, a bottle of Coffee liqueur, etc. It was just a big heaping ol' basket of things I knew she'd like, use, and would normally pay money for.

You said she doesn't like Victorias Secret... but what about somewhere else? SWMBO gets a new pajama set every year - she likes the Nick And Nora brand that Target sells around christmas time... they're soft as hell

Zymurgrafi said:

She is not into stereotypical gifts for a "woman"

I guess the problem is I never get a "wow" out of her and often the gifts I get do not get used.

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Zymurgrafy, reading this thread I'm inclined to think we're married to the same woman. I feel your pain brother.

Here's something I did once. It wasn't a "main" gift, but rather just one gift in the pile. She likes wine. I didn't just want to buy her some wine, because we buy wine all the time. So I made it a point to buy six bottles, each from different countries or areas, and then I made up small little dinner menus for each one reflecting something that would be properly paired with each wine, ie a Spanish meal with the Spanish wine, etc. I attached the menus to each bottle, and so when she wanted to break open a bottle she'd give me the menu and I'd prepare that meal to go with it. She loved it, and still talks about how thoughtful that was. She probably can''t even remember anything else I got her that year.

You don't have to do six like I did. Two or three would have the same effect. Just an idea.

Good idea, Stunned. I might just gank that idea from you, and go buy the wine right now. (SWMBO is still sawing logs next to me, her favorite Saturday morning-and-afternoon activity. )

I thought a gym membership was a good idea.

I found out later that a gym membership is NOT a good idea.

Do not buy her a gym membership.

Get her a $??? gift card from her favorite store (this can be found by checking your credit card statements or checkbook Leger)

After 22 years with my wife I have found Gift cards to be the perfect gift, she is always happy (she gets to go shopping), I am Happy since I don't have to put any thought into it at all, and never get that "I hate this you ignorant fool" look while she is telling me how much she loves it and how thoughtful it is.

Chriso said:

I got an idea.... I didn't see it in any of the previous posts... but I know that MOST women would like to get these.....

CASHMERE SOCKS. They go nuts for them. Soft and warm. And cheaper than, say, a cashmere sweater.

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Yeah! The chick from the Progressive Insurance commercials (Flo) likes them! OR You can get your wife a big tricked out name tag!
-Me

schweaty said:

Really, we both benefit from them because I get to look at her before I take them off!

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Just to change things up, try letting HER wear them. :rockin:


I got SWMBO a new purse and wallet combo. She tends to use the same purse until it finally falls apart into rags.

I paid for SWMBO's hair to get cut and colored, manicure, pedicure... This helps in a couple of ways...

1. kinda like getting in on with another girl when she does something drastic to her hair.
2. She feels pretty and tends to get unclothed easier...:rockin:

You mentioned she liked Suduko...so get her a Nintendo DS with Brain Age. I got one for my mom this year. D'ya know, it might even help stave off Alzheimer's Disease?

To me, the perfect gift is something I'd like to own, but don't want to buy for myself, either because it seems too silly or extravagant. And I must admit that I, too, subscribe to the whole "rather you put some thought into it than just pick up some shiny piece of something at a jewelery story" theory. El Hubbo is an engineer, so has some trouble wrapping his practical, logical little head around this notion.

But, over the years, we've reached an understanding. I love practical gifts, if there's some thought behind it. For instance, my favorite gift he ever got me was for our first Valentine's Day. He got me a new rear shock for my motorcycle. Perfect! I needed one, but wasn't about to blow dough on it. I was just planning to limp along until next riding season. It was lovely and thoughtful.

Now, the WORST experience was for my last birthday, when he got me a fancy-schmancy fold-up portable chair. The chair itself was just fine, but he got a bit carried away with the "presentation" so to speak. There he was, extolling the features of the tricked-out chair, showing me the various items...double cup holders, pouch in the back, blah, blah...then he blurts out proudly, "...and it has a weight limit of 300 pounds!"

D'ya know that it's awfully hard to walk with a portable chair shoved up your ass? Or so he tells me.

Jill, It sounds like I can relate with your husband on so, so, so many levels. Analytical nerdy engineer brains are GREAT for getting things done, or rattling off features of a product, etc etc etc.

But...

Those same brains cause HAVOC when they are put too close to Females! They just don't TRANSLATE right! And out comes stupid ****!!! SWMBO catches me on a foot-in-mouth statement almost every single day. :/

Honesty is the best suicide policy.

I bought my wife several gifts this year(several for different hobbies) and this Hot Stone Massage Book & Kit, Alison Trulock, Item - Barnes & Noble.

With that I gave a book of gift certificates for a massage from me whenever she wants it.

just be creative and caring and you'll be good

I bought my wife lasiks eye surgery (or however you spill it)

Tell her to make an Amazon wishlist next year. HWMO and I maintain wish lists for computer-aged relatives to have access to things we'd like. This year we each gave each other 2 things from our wishlist and one addtional thing that we each came up with on our own (I got pearls, he got salt and pepper mills - I sucked a little in this situation).

Update? Did you experience enlightenment and make her weep with joy at your thoughtfulness?

Updates please!

I wanna know how it ended...

Zym's silence on the matter may be an indication of how things went.

Of course, I hope differently.

Maybe he got grounded from HBT?

Oh, sorry folks. Yeah, you could have asked me a week ago! We only celebrate the winter solstice so we exchanged gifts last Sunday.

No weeping for joy but I did okay. She of course still gave the better gifts imo, but I did alright.

I gave her a marble bookplate/envelope applicator, and a certificate for a reprint of some custom bookplates I had carved and printed for her on another occasion. A couple of puzzle books (one suduko and one new type of logic puzzle she has not tried) and a set nice flannel PJ's. Yeah nothing too romantic but she was happy.

I got socks and underwear!

Wicked cool hand tie-dyed obnoxious socks and underwear! I am a happy guy. :fro:

My wife is awesome!!!

All is well. Plus I got some great ideas for the future.

Yay, I love a happy ending... well done... your gifts were great!

Epic Christmas Win here.

got her this
Tiffany & Co. | Item | Tiffany 1837™ interlocking circles lariat in sterling silver. | United States

I completely suck at the gifts too and this year was worse than most. We had agreed not to get each other anything because we recently bought new sofas (and they were not cheap) so that was going to be our gift for the year. Then she goes out and buys me 4 or 5 "small" things. This means now I have to go buy something, and fast. Luckily I went on a business trip to South Africa and scored a really nice throw blanket (since I at least know she has a thing for African textiles, but I only know that because she recently went to a museum exhibit on them). If it had not been for that trip her biggest gift from me would have been a DVD.

What did work for us in the past was that she circled literally everything she liked in Tiffany's permanent collection, that got me through 2 years of birthdays, anniversaries, christmases, and valentines. This year is our 10 year anniversary though and I am epically screwed.

A lot of great ideas here! My wife gave me a magazine with things circled etc. Turned out that they were out of most of it, so I had to do the great internet search of 2008 to find it all, but did get lots of cute things besides her main presents (She loves anything musical, so I'm lucky in that regard)

Now I need to set up my amazon wishlist like you all have so that she can point relatives to that instead of me getting several home depot gift cards, which is nice, but can be a little bit of a letdown. I really prefer to get something personal than a gift card (especially from her).

Tis the season to bump this thread, I still think there are good ideas here

Me and this wife just do stockings and then a big gift together. This year is a wine fridge for the new bar build.
She does not have any hobbies either. She took her one hobby (art) and made it her job (teacher). Only thing she wants this year is a couch. I tried, but her stocking is too small.

Zymurgrafi said:

I have been paying attention almost all year. Just thick I guess.

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What about a gift cert to a day spa. They usually have various packages available

I have an odd problem. Kellie works for a jewelery store. I mentioned that I might buy her "wedding knot" earrings to match her wedding ring. No dice! She can get them at cost + 10%, but she has to pay for them. (Hint: that's about 1/3 retail) Maybe I'll get a small inflatable spa to tide us over until we can build an in-ground unit. Or maybe I'll have her buy the earrings, pay her back and pretend it's a surprise.

On the other hand, we close on a monster house next week. She's never owned a house before.

Hmmm massage gift certificate and PJs it is I think. We'll see what else Target has, maybe the cashmere socks too.

Luckily I just broke up with my girlfriend...I say luckily because her birthday is during the holidays as well .

But I am very good with thinking of creative and thoughtful gifts.

Last year for her birthday I took her snowboarding and *tried* to teach her. It was an expensive gift for my college student budget. I needed something cheap for christmas a few days later.

Realizing this before hand I spent a few weeks making her an ornament for christmas...cheap, thoughtful and has made every girl who has seen it jealous.

I cut a picture of us in the shape of the country she studied abroad at the previous summer, glued it back to back with the same size map (Highlighting the areas she lived at), then suspended it with fishing line inside the ornament so it "floated" insize the orb.

Then I threw in a little glitter/winter-themed-confetti and little momentos from milestones in our relationship like: a tiny wine cork from the VA tasting tour we went on, a bent-in-half-beer bottle cap from a brewery tour, and a ton of other little things that I could fit in a clear round ornament.

ps, sorry for the typos, the light circuit tripped at work so I cant seee my keyboard haha

Germelli1 said:

ps, sorry for the typos, the light circuit tripped at work so I cant seee my keyboard haha

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... perhaps if you still had a girlfriend, she would have bought you one of these...

Ok I moved out of the barn office and am in the equestrian office...with LIGHT! Time to edit

Germelli1 said:

Luckily I just broke up with my girlfriend...I say luckily because her birthday is during the holidays as well .

But I am very good with thinking of creative and thoughtful gifts.

Last year for her birthday I took her snowboarding and *tried* to teach her. It was an expensive gift for my college student budget. I needed something cheap for christmas a few days later.

Realizing this before hand I spent a few weeks making her an ornament for christmas...cheap, thoughtful and has made every girl who has seen it jealous.

I cut a picture of us in the shape of the country she studied abroad at the previous summer, glued it back to back with the same size map (Highlighting the areas she lived at), then suspended it with fishing line inside the ornament so it "floated" insize the orb.

Then I threw in a little glitter/winter-themed-confetti and little momentos from milestones in our relationship like: a tiny wine cork from the VA tasting tour we went on, a bent-in-half-beer bottle cap from a brewery tour, and a ton of other little things that I could fit in a clear round ornament.

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ummm...WOW! That is fantastic. What a thoughtful (and cheap!) gift idea.

My wife swears that the best gift I got her was a Dyson vacuum cleaner. Either I really suck at gifts or she's crazy.

Bigeb said:

My wife swears that the best gift I got her was a Dyson vacuum cleaner. Either I really suck at gifts or she's crazy.

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My wife too does not follow the norm. If I gave her a Dyson she's freak! In a good way. But no, I'm not paying that much for a sweeper.

Bigeb said:

My wife swears that the best gift I got her was a Dyson vacuum cleaner. Either I really suck at gifts or she's crazy.

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Makes you wonder just what that thing can do huh?