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medusa1066

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My wife (stay at home) and I have a 2.5 year old boy. He has always been attached to me. It has become more apparent now that it is warmer outside and have been spending WAY too much time prepping to paint my house as well as other chores he can't be around me for. He cries a lot for me.

He started a pretty high fever last night so he was not happy about me leaving for work today. I planned on going to my first homebrew competition an hour away on Saturday. I also agreed to take a friend's entry up AFTER he found out I was going. I very rarely take any solo time for myself (other than brewing and dangerous chores). My wife is upset that I still want to go to the competition because he will be probably be a mess.

Try not to be biased. Should I stay or should I go?
 
In my honest opinion, I think you need to stay home. Your son obviously needs you, and though your wife should be able to handle the situation, you really should be there for him because he's sick. In the longer term, your wife needs to figure out how to satiate him so you can get things done, whether that be projects or "me" time. As for your friend, you promised this only when he found out you were going, not because you invited it. If it's that important, then he needs to do it on his own. Kids gotta come first.

But that's my opinion. Your results may vary.
 
Don't mean to be harsh but ... what's more important to you.... your familiy or your beer..?

Does your wife get time for herself...?

There were alot of things I passed up while my kids were growing up but looking back, I don't regret one bit of it. Now that I have one young'un off in college and the other a HS senior who isn't around much, I have plenty of time for myself and SWIMBO and I are are enjoying being a couple again.
 
This is always a tough situation. Once in a while you have to stop everything and spend a solid hour with the kid, no distractions, no interruptions. On the same token, you have to drop everything to do exactly what YOU feel like doing once in a while too. It's very simple for a SAHM to get pissed because they feel like they are 100% focused on the kid 24/7. I'd say go to the comp and reciprocate by setting aside time with the kid, take him out of the house for a few hours so your wife can catch up on 50 Shades of Grey.
 
I appreciate the solid advice!!! She does get time to herself, she has gone to two concerts in the past month. And I do spend time with him, esp. on rainy days, weekend mornings and I always do bath time and bed. I am obviously torn. Part of me feels like we coddle him too much, but he is ONLY 2 1/2. thanks again!
 
my kid is that age. it is hard. you can't really expect perfect fairness and division of responsibility between partners right now -- daily life is so taxing, with your kid needing attention literally every waking hour, that parents cope differently and need different things at different times. So, I guess I'm saying, stay home and do your best with the fam.
 
Take the kid with you to the competition?

Otherwise, if you're not sure, err on the side of the wife/kid. The returns are far greater.
 
I have kids at that age too, and I would stay home if taking the family with you isn't an option.

Having a happy wife is worth more than a thousands first place prizes.

Sooner or later you'll miss being the favorite. :)
 
I gave up brewclub because it wasn't conducive to a life with kids.

I take my me time at night while they sleep.

However, I also had to teach my 2 sons (5 and 3) that there is a time for work and a time for play. The sooner the work is done the more time there is for play.
 
My kids are a little older but I would say if hes not feeling any better tomorrow than stay home. I know this is tough to pass up but in the long term you will be glad you did. This is the best age IMO because their personality is really starting to break out and when older you will miss this age so much
 
I have kids at that age too, and I would stay home if taking the family with you isn't an option.

Having a happy wife is worth more than a thousands first place prizes.

Sooner or later you'll miss being the favorite. :)

I could take the fam. The thing that sucks is we were going to a MASSIVE yard sale in the stadium from 7-930, then they were going to a Bday party while I was at the competition. Unless his fever is gone, he is NOT going to the Bday party (parents can thank me later). I already notified my buddy that its probably a no go.

Thanks ALL!
 
Happy wife happy life.

Words to live by.

You could try to change her mind?
 
Put the kid and the wife in suspended animation. They won't miss you and you'll have time to yourself.

images


I know, I know. Obvious solution, but if it's good enough for a mad scientist, then it's good enough for everyone. Just don't forget to wake 'em up.
 
I say it depends on how often you attend the comps and how important you think this one is.

There's no way mr z would have ever canceled anything if I were available to stay with a sick kid, but then again, he wasn't helpful at all. :)

It wouldn't kill your wife to stay home if your son is sick. Pick her up something cool from the sale.
 
I am no expert on raising kids. My three are all grown up now. As a young father I tried to do my best.. whatever that was. Two of my kids are now into their early 20's, the relationship with all three is loving and they are doing well, my youngest graduates high school in a week.

Best advice I can give is to follow your heart.
 
what did you end up doing?

I didn't go. After posting I got home, and my little guy look awful! He ended up being diagnosed with Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease. He bounced back quick and has some bumps. On a positive note, my wife found Papazian's Homebrewer's Companion at a yard sale for me.

Tell your wife to shut up. Tell your kid to shut up. Think about it, what would Don Draper do?

"You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one."

Yea, I'm not Don Draper.

get drunk and hit both of them.

Buddy, this is kinda offensive. Your lucky my parents weren't abusive alcoholics, or I probably would report this.:mad:.

Edit: I don't mean to sound whiney, but that's way out in left field, at least for me.
 
Buddy, this is kinda offensive. Your lucky my parents weren't abusive alcoholics, or I probably would report this.:mad:.

Edit: I don't mean to sound whiney, but that's way out in left field, at least for me.

He meant that as in, what Don Draper would do, not that you should do that to your family.
 
My wife (stay at home) and I have a 2.5 year old boy. He has always been attached to me. It has become more apparent now that it is warmer outside and have been spending WAY too much time prepping to paint my house as well as other chores he can't be around me for. He cries a lot for me.

As a father of 2 little girls, I do make sacrifices for the wife and kids, give up some things so we can have family time or the wife can have some "me" time (she is not a SAHM, mind you). And she does the same for me as we generally split duties fairly evenly.

However, I am also a firm believer in raising independent kids and to not placate their whining, crying, pining, etc. JMO and I am sure some will take that as "bad parenting" in this day and age of spoiled rotten children who expect the world to stop for them, but that is not my view.

Now, as to your kid having a fever and you having a SAHM who is upset about you going off for half a day? I would go but also make a concession to allow for additional free time for Mom, but only you know your wife and how she will react to you going anyway.
 
As a father of 2 little girls, I do make sacrifices for the wife and kids, give up some things so we can have family time or the wife can have some "me" time (she is not a SAHM, mind you). And she does the same for me as we generally split duties fairly evenly.

However, I am also a firm believer in raising independent kids and to not placate their whining, crying, pining, etc. JMO and I am sure some will take that as "bad parenting" in this day and age of spoiled rotten children who expect the world to stop for them, but that is not my view.

Now, as to your kid having a fever and you having a SAHM who is upset about you going off for half a day? I would go but also make a concession to allow for additional free time for Mom, but only you know your wife and how she will react to you going anyway.


I'm not sure we should take your advise. In one of your pictures you are CLEARLY brewing a small child. :D:ban:
 
I didn't go. After posting I got home, and my little guy look awful! He ended up being diagnosed with Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease. He bounced back quick and has some bumps. On a positive note, my wife found Papazian's Homebrewer's Companion at a yard sale for me.

Thanks for the follow up.
 
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