First Date

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Brew-medic

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Ok So here is the dish, I am married, Happily, we live with a roommate who has a horrible time with first dates with first dates, and she wants to know what she does wrong.

She approached my wife asking if she could borrow me for a first date and be brutally honest. No funny business of course, but I promise Ill take her to my place :) (We live together)

Now I think that this would help us, that is my wife and I, as most of you married men know, the thrill of the chase is gone for some people, and It might inspire a better love life.

She wants us to fill out a questionaire after such as would he/she got a kiss at the end of the night. How did you enjoy the date. things that annoyed you, etc. But Im stuck I was wondering if yall could help me think of a few things
 
Oh, man, don't do it! There is NO way you can come out of this intact. Either your wife will be pissed because you had a "too good of a time" or the roommate will be hurt, and/or both. Don't do it. You can not win when dealing with two women, even though they are great friends.
 
Have you lost your mind? NOTHING good can come of this and even if they are best friend 20 years down the road when you leave your socks in the middle of the floor your wife will use it against you.
 
Yooper said:
Oh, man, don't do it! There is NO way you can come out of this intact. Either your wife will be pissed because you had a "too good of a time" or the roommate will be hurt, and/or both. Don't do it. You can not win when dealing with two women, even though they are great friends.

this.
And how would it be a realistic first date? You know eachother...the hard parts already done.
The survey is weird...maybe if your roommate relaxed, his/her odds would pick up.
 
I wouldn't do it. Nothing good will come from it.

It's the same as answering how old am I? or How much do you think I weigh. There is no answer that is acceptable. If you guess low or young they say you are lying. If you guess right on you cheated somehow. If you guess too heavy or old .. well you know the result of that.

If things go well it might cause trouble with either the wife or the roommate or both. If it goes bad the roommate is going to resent everything.
 
So you have a solid relationship with your wife, but you think going out with your roommate will help your love life while also helping your roommate?

Someone call Lifetime, we have a movie idea here. That ends badly.

Best wishes.
 
This is one of those "Does my butt look big in these jeans?" moments that we men are destined to lose our weenuses no matter how we answer, so it's best to go find a bar and drink til it all blows over. ;)
 
I can't believe everyone is giving this guy advice without asking for the most important piece of info. We definitely need to know what all three people involved look like. Obviously pictures are a must. If this guy is a 5 or 6 and his wife is an 8 or 9, I say don't do it even if the roommate is a 10.
 
In all honesty though, here's the best thing you can do. Have her next first date be a double date with you and your wife. You'll both get a firsthand look at how she interacts with a new guy and that should help you give her some relevant advice.
 
In all honesty though, here's the best thing you can do. Have her next first date be a double date with you and your wife. You'll both get a firsthand look at how she interacts with a new guy and that should help you give her some relevant advice.

I think this is a much better idea. The other idea just seems like nothing but trouble, no matter what the outcome is.
 
Have her next first date be a double date with you and your wife. You'll both get a firsthand look at how she interacts with a new guy and that should help you give her some relevant advice.

Do this instead! It's a brilliant idea! This also gives your wife the opportunity to give her opinion of what roommate is doing wrong.

Do not do this without your wife!
 
No! Take the wife too!
The three of you go and evaluate! I am assuming you have lived well so the second female knows something about being happy with males. So you all go out and see how the inexperienced female does in the wild.
And noone get killed!
 
... I am married... She approached my wife ... borrow me for a first date ... I think that this would help us, that is my wife and I ... thrill of the chase is gone ... might inspire a better love life.

Yup, an absolutely horrible idea. I can imagine a person's significant other potentially already being quietly devastated by this ... particularly if that person was a sensitive, polite sort of person. Personally, I would be considering damage-control mode.
And for cryin out loud *don’t* tell your wife your theory about it spicing up your marriage. OMG ...
&#8220;danger, Will Robinson ... danger! danger!...&#8221; < flails arms wildly >

Regarding the girl who wanted you to do this ...
One of the best ways to have consistency in your dates, including bad ones, is to keep getting your dates at the same place ... from the same sort of circumstance ... from the same group of people, or with same type of person. I don&#8217;t know if that is what she is doing, but that is a prescription for continuing the problem.

Some years back I was part of a large loosely knit group of people who loosely (and sometimes not so loosely) knew each other and would frequent the same places for nightlife and entertainment - a group of clubs, bars and restaurants in the West Bloomfield, Michigan area ... Ristorante di Modesto ... Excalibur ... Manuels ... Big Daddy&#8217;s ... Morton's etc.

In our group I knew one particular girl who, similarly to your roommate, was desperate to have some sort of dating success; but instead had failure after failure.
She was great looking, intelligent, classy, well spoken, had a good job and was fun to be around; yet she was constantly getting dumped, stood-up, couldn&#8217;t get a Saturday-date with the guys who she was seeing ... and seemed to be generally treated off-hand by her dates. The problem was, she was getting all her dates from the same pool (the larger group we hung around) and all the guys she was seeing fit basically the same mold ... it&#8217;s a bit of an over-simplification but the basic model was a three-time divorcee with very high disposable income and who were dating 5 girls at a time.
She did not get different results until she found her dates at very different sorts of places.
Another thing that helped was her writing a list of exactly the qualities she wanted in a guy and then carrying it (privately) with her and reviewing it periodically.
The act of writing it down helped her to clarify in her own subconscious, what she was going to go for.

Possibly, your roommate&#8217;s problem is not the &#8220;how&#8221;, but the where and the who.
 
This is one of those "Does my butt look big in these jeans?" moments that we men are destined to lose our weenuses no matter how we answer, so it's best to go find a bar and drink til it all blows over. ;)

BINGO! :mug:
Nobody wins, everybody loses. The wife will be mad if you do & mad if you don't; the roomate will be sad/mad if you don't & the same later when the wife is upset. You are damned if you do & damned if you don't.

Post a pic of the roomate, maybe somebody will volunteer to go on a 1st date with her & fill out the questionaire after; just make sure niether the volunteer nor the roomate are serial killers.
Regards, GF.
 
I am so happy to see the HBT community giving such good advice. Listen to Yooper, she's right. Also the double date idea and listing what she wants in a man are good advice too. Good luck.
 
Ok, well, No date then.. Does it matter shes 2 4 after 10 beer?

Wait, maybe thats her problem.... "but shes super nice"

Did everyone skip this post?

Sorry to say lots of guys (and gals) consider looks to be very important, especially early in a relationship.

She needs to get her dates very drunk. Trust me, get a man drunk enough and you might not get a second date, but at least your first date will last into the next day!
 
UMMMMMMM, is she paying?

Ok listen is't not going to work, she knows you. I could go out with any of my wife's friend and have a good time but she's not going to get a good answer.

This is what you do, decline. Have her tape the date,(with another man) on a pocket recorder and critique the date. No mater what is said on the tape the guy is a !@#$% bag ok? Now what you do is if she's a decent person try to steer her in the direction of a friend. If she's a slag send her to your boss.

Problems solved.
 
I read that to mean "She is a 2 (on a scale of 1-10,) that becomes a 4/10 after putting on your 10x beer goggles"

Gotcha. Thanx.

In which case we definitely need a head-to-foot photo.
That could be the issue.
True, guys are hardwired to their eyeballs.
 
Did everyone skip this post?

Sorry to say lots of guys (and gals) consider looks to be very important, especially early in a relationship.

She needs to get her dates very drunk. Trust me, get a man drunk enough and you might not get a second date, but at least your first date will last into the next day!

I'm choosing to ignore it.

Questions

1. Is she hotter than my wife? Y/N
2. Now that I'm tipsy, am I trying to grope her? Y/N
3. If I had it all to do over again would I have gotten married? Y/N
4. Why am I crying every time I look into her eyes? (Essay)
 
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