Kid rant

So my son's a biter. He went from being the bitten to the biter. Today's the third time we've had to pick him up because he's bitten 3 times in a day.

The teachers say it's because he's more advanced than the other kids in his class. He talks more and is more interested in group play. They think he's bored and irritated that the other kids don't talk to him.

He's not quite 22 months old and tomorrow they're moving him to the 2 year old room, ahead of the rest of his class. If it doesn't stop, he'll probably be kicked out of his daycare.

Oh, that sucks, Cheese. I *think* it's usually just a phase, but I do know that what the teach says is true - most toddlers, especially that you, tend to play individually, not as a group. They play in the same space, but they don't interact with their play. Something we've seen with Cassie, she's just barely starting to become comfortable playing with other kids.

Hopefully, the move to the bigger kids will help. You sure you're not just bragging?

the_bird said:

Oh, that sucks, Cheese. I *think* it's usually just a phase, but I do know that what the teach says is true - most toddlers, especially that you, tend to play individually, not as a group. They play in the same space, but they don't interact with their play. Something we've seen with Cassie, she's just barely starting to become comfortable playing with other kids.

Hopefully, the move to the bigger kids will help. You sure you're not just bragging?

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Suspended from school three times before he's two is hardly braggable.

Just talked to the wife, she says that the explanation given by the teachers sounds completely plausible and that the move to the older kids' room is a good idea. She's also advocating a zero-tolerance policy. The natural consequence of biting your friends is that you don't get to play with them, you have to be by yourself. Is he biting at home or anywhere else, too?

EDIT: Sorry, I know, this is a "rant," not asking for solutions... just passing along the wife's words of wisdom.

Ours was a biter until he was moved into an older class also. right around 2- 2 1/2. It did get better, but we also scolded him directly about the biting if he tried it when throwing a tantrum.

the_bird said:

Just talked to the wife, she says that the explanation given by the teachers sounds completely plausible and that the move to the older kids' room is a good idea. She's also advocating a zero-tolerance policy. The natural consequence of biting your friends is that you don't get to play with them, you have to be by yourself. Is he biting at home or anywhere else, too?

EDIT: Sorry, I know, this is a "rant," not asking for solutions... just passing along the wife's words of wisdom.

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Our new house has a park in the back yard. More than anything, he loves playing at the park. He can see it from the living room, through the sliding glass doors and from the 3-seasons room. We tell him that he doesn't get to go to the park if he bites, but that seems to make things worse.

Hopefully the bigger kids will kick his ass back to the no-biting days.

Cheesefood said:

Our new house has a park in the back yard. More than anything, he loves playing at the park. He can see it from the living room, through the sliding glass doors and from the 3-seasons room. We tell him that he doesn't get to go to the park if he bites, but that seems to make things worse.

Hopefully the bigger kids will kick his ass back to the no-biting days.

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Natural consequences is key at that age. He bites mommy and daddy, he doesn't get their attention, he has to be by himself. The consequence of "you can't go to the park if you bite" may still be a little bit too abstract for him (although it's amazing what they do understand). In any case, good luck!

the_bird said:

Natural consequences is key at that age. He bites mommy and daddy, he doesn't get their attention, he has to be by himself. The consequence of "you can't go to the park if you bite" may still be a little bit too abstract for him (although it's amazing what they do understand). In any case, good luck!

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He also gets "time-outs" and "naughty spot".

My little guy is a biter too. He's teething and chews on everything possible. 3.5 month old German Shepard

When he bites, bite him back. He'll learn real quick that biting does not get him the results he was looking for.

I heard Einstein was a nipple twister.

BierMuncher said:

I heard Einstein was a nipple twister.

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LMFAO!........

pldoolittle said:

When he bites, bite him back. He'll learn real quick that biting does not get him the results he was looking for.

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I hope your talking about the shepard and not the kid.

orfy said:

I hope your talking about the shepard and not the kid.

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Nope.67890

Cheesefood said:

Suspended from school three times before he's two is hardly braggable.

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Your son sounds just like mine was at that age. He was suspended several times at that age, same kind of behavior problems - biting kids. The teachers tried moving him to a higher aged class at first just like they're trying with yours.

He was kicked out of every nursery school and day care in town, until he started kindergarten - and then most days he was sent home before lunch time.

We just didn't really know what to do about his behavior because he wanted to play with the other kids, but he just couldn't seem to figure out how to play with them and get along.

He had problems in first grade as well.

Eventually we discovered that he has Asperger's Syndrome, and while it was initially shocking and sad to learn that he had that, between his therapy and medication he's now doing really well in school. He's in the 5th grade, an all A student, in school chorus, and anchors his schools daily CCTV news program.

I would never think to diagnose someone else's kid over the internet, I'm not a doctor or a health care professional of any kind at all. But I am a parent who's been through exactly what you're going through with the biting and behavior problems at preschool, and I've talked to many other parents with kids that have Aspberger's/Autism. More than 1 in 150 kids has some form of Autism these days, so just keep that in mind if his behavior doesn't turn out to be just a phase he grows out of - your story sounds all to familiar and autism is very common. Its frightening, but its not the end of the world. You wouldn't believe how many parents I've heard make comments almost exactly like your post.

Well I'm not saying thats the problem with your son or anything, all I mean to say is keep that in mind and maybe mention it to your pediactrician or family doctor and see what they have to say about it. If it turns out your son does have some kind of Autism spectrum disorder, the sooner you and your family learn about it - the better prepared you are to make sure his rights at school are protected and he gets the treatment, help, and assistance he needs.

Good luck to you, I hope it all turns out ok. Give your son a hug from me.

I have to agree. My daughter started biting and when biten back she learned real quick that it was not fun. Never did it again.

Im sure some A-hole will cry child abuse, those are the same people that think spanking is bad and creates children with problems.

I'm not close to being an expert, but it's been my experience that most kids with Aspberger's or Autism have speech issues too; is that incorrect? Seems like Cheese's kid is just being a kid. Pretty much all of them do dumb **** at one point or another. Parenting is about getting them to stop - lol

rdwj said:

Pretty much all of them do dumb **** at one point or another.

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Seriously, my nephew used to eat gravel...

My kid sister was a biter at that age and it was usually out of frustration. Hopefully the move to the bigger kid's room will help, if not, the_bird's advice is right on the money (as usual).

rdwj said:

I'm not close to being an expert, but it's been my experience that most kids with Aspberger's or Autism have speech issues too; is that incorrect? Seems like Cheese's kid is just being a kid. Pretty much all of them do dumb **** at one point or another. Parenting is about getting them to stop - lol

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some do - not all

Autism is a spectrum of disorders, it could range from severe rain-man kind of symptoms that immediately come to mind for most people where a person is mostly non-verbal, Aspberger's is on the other end of the spectrum where kids are mostly verbally typical but their sensory issues are more related to them having a hard time noticing social cues and non-verbal communications that you and I would take for granted and not even think about - things that come naturally to you and I, like not biting another child to get his attention aspberger's children have an extremely hard time with and can't just be told or taught not to do it. You can't just spank it out of them.

And also, biting other children is not just something normal that all kids do. If the other kids in the class were doing it, then they wouldn't be moving the kid up to be with older children. Aspberger's kids are often very smart and advanced in their own ways, and thats why teachers or caretakers commonly make the mistake of attempting to put them with older kids - that doesn't work because even though in some ways the child is way ahead of his peers, in other ways they are at a severe disadvantage because they cannot understand that some things are just simply not appropriate when dealing with other kids.

Anyway, as I was saying I don't know this is the problem with your boy - and I hope its not. Just keep what I'm saying in mind, because its a very common problem that teachers and caretakers for the most part are not trained to recognize or deal with. Talk to your pediatrician.