The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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so... I had randomly tossed out the idea to Trinity (the bah down the street from the Bog) of doing some sort of summer party/tap takeover. They were immediately in. They then said, "hey, maybe we can do some sort of fundrasier"... and we would be down with that. While this was going on, I was thinking, "Hmm... a 'Bog Iron 5K Road Race' would be cool"... but then I found out what that entails. You need permits, cops to close streets, and EMT and ambulance on call, DPW needs to weigh in... so... EFF that.

and then I realized... organizing a road race would be way easier if you didn't have to deal with all of the running crap.

Thus was born....

The First Annual Bog Iron 0.0K Road Race.

We're waiting for Trinity to lock down the date but... the event will start at... say 2:00pm on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. The race will start at maybe 3:00 and we'll let folks know the race is expected to last about 15 minutes. At 3:00, we announce "Ready?? Set! GO!!!"... and everyone just stands there.

Around the 15 minute mark... we encourage people to keep up the pace! Almost there!! Annnnnnnnd DONE!!! and everyone ties for first place.

burgers, dogs, etc out on the patio grills... food from the kitchen... discount pints and we'll have 7-8 beers on... live music... etc.

We are going to open it for the first 30 days just to "racer registrations". We THINK to register for the race, it'll be $40 but for that $40, you get an official Bog Iron 0.0K t-shirt, a numbered running bib, and a medal for coming in first place. (those things are about $20). The other $20 is the ticket to get in... all proceeds go to charity. If we don't sell out the 200 spots at Trinity with racers, we'll open the event up to "spectators" at just the $20 a head. They can get in for $20 but don't get the t-shirts etc. We'll probably do raffles... prizes for best running outfit, etc.

Slogan is going to be "We stand for charity".

I've been training for a week solid now.
 
Cape Brewing said:
so... I had randomly tossed out the idea to Trinity (the bah down the street from the Bog) of doing some sort of summer party/tap takeover. They were immediately in. They then said, "hey, maybe we can do some sort of fundrasier"... and we would be down with that. While this was going on, I was thinking, "Hmm... a 'Bog Iron 5K Road Race' would be cool"... but then I found out what that entails. You need permits, cops to close streets, and EMT and ambulance on call, DPW needs to weigh in... so... EFF that.

and then I realized... organizing a road race would be way easier if you didn't have to deal with all of the running crap.

Thus was born....

The First Annual Bog Iron 0.0K Road Race.

We're waiting for Trinity to lock down the date but... the event will start at... say 2:00pm on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. The race will start at maybe 3:00 and we'll let folks know the race is expected to last about 15 minutes. At 3:00, we announce "Ready?? Set! GO!!!"... and everyone just stands there.

Around the 15 minute mark... we encourage people to keep up the pace! Almost there!! Annnnnnnnd DONE!!! and everyone ties for first place.

burgers, dogs, etc out on the patio grills... food from the kitchen... discount pints and we'll have 7-8 beers on... live music... etc.

We are going to open it for the first 30 days just to "racer registrations". We THINK to register for the race, it'll be $40 but for that $40, you get an official Bog Iron 0.0K t-shirt, a numbered running bib, and a medal for coming in first place. (those things are about $20). The other $20 is the ticket to get in... all proceeds go to charity. If we don't sell out the 200 spots at Trinity with racers, we'll open the event up to "spectators" at just the $20 a head. They can get in for $20 but don't get the t-shirts etc. We'll probably do raffles... prizes for best running outfit, etc.

Slogan is going to be "We stand for charity".

I've been training for a week solid now.
Click to expand...

You almost sound like you are in marketing!
 
bluemoose said:
Sounds like way too much work just to get some of your beer. Standing for 15 minutes? Seriously?
Click to expand...

No, no... you don't have to do anything to get beer... you can just order one at the bar.

The RACE is about 15 minutes. That's only if you want to participate.

Then... next year... for the 2nd annual, we'll see if everyone can beat this year's time.

I think we're going to water stations set up around the bar also in case anyone needs to have a water during the race to stay hydrated.
 
I love the idea. I'm in. I have to get to training though. Standing for 15 minutes is no mean feat, I'll definitely need some music - maybe stuff from Rocky I - CMVII (CMVI was the best, where Rocky won that boxing tournament after two weeks of hospice care) or Karate Kid or Chariots of Fire...
 
Random question: I entered and paid for a homebrew contest. Brewed two batches of the beer to have a back up but I'm not happy with either batch. I don't have alternative - enter the substandard beer or just eat the entry fee and don't worry about it? Thoughts?
 
I'm in for the Bogathon. I'm smoke all of you *****enozzles, I've been standing around for way longer than most of you.

The only one I'm worried about is the_bird. He's been practicing. How in the world can anyone expect to keep up with Mr Cottontail.

And no, that was NOT Photoshopped.

10270031_10154031248555302_289171678_n.jpg
 
the_bird said:
Meh. It was the "Bunny Hop 5K" fundraiser for a local homeless shelter. What did you ******** do with your Saturday morning?
Click to expand...

Not much. I pruned the orchard. I pruned the vineyard. I fertilized the yard. And I mixed 35 eighty pound bags of concrete mix in a wheelbarrow by meself, bucketed it into place and smoothed it off. Then I drank a beer and went to bed. Other than that I screwed off all day.
 
paulthenurse said:
Not much. I pruned the orchard. I pruned the vineyard. I fertilized the yard. And I mixed 35 eighty pound bags of concrete mix in a wheelbarrow by meself, bucketed it into place and smoothed it off. Then I drank a beer and went to bed. Other than that I screwed off all day.
Click to expand...


Sissy!


Sent from the kingdom of beer.
 
paulthenurse said:
Not much. I pruned the orchard. I pruned the vineyard. I fertilized the yard. And I mixed 35 eighty pound bags of concrete mix in a wheelbarrow by meself, bucketed it into place and smoothed it off. Then I drank a beer and went to bed. Other than that I screwed off all day.
Click to expand...

Custom cement shoes?
 
Plied her with fruity rum drinks. Works every time ;)

Cheers!

ps: we were both happy to see the Marathon went so well. Plenty of peeps talking about it down here, lots of emotion and well wishes from them all...
 
Hey Cape...
I volunteer to be the Grandmaster Cheif Poobah Official Muckeymuck for you at the Bogathon. I can be the Starter and I can also come in off the bench and close. I'll station myself at the finish and take the Official Photo Finish. I'll man the First Aide Tent and give out those cool aluminum foil blankets. And I can start IV's and mainline some Bog Water into the not-runners who might get dehydrated. Waddah ya say? I just want one of those spiffy Bog Strong tee shirts.
 
So I lost my brand spanking new iPhone. Sucks. The battery was just about dead when I lost it and by the time I figured out it was really lost 24 hours had gone by and it was all the way dead and the find my phone app didn't work. So I bought an El Cheapo phone to last me till I get annoyed enough to spend $1000 for a new one. But I'm technologicaly challenged and cant figure out how to get my phone numbers off the cloud. So who wants to meet me at the BBC this afternoon and fix it for me? I'll buy the beer.

Chris? Why thank you. Say around 4?

The rest of you can text me your phone numbers in the meantime. Be sure to say who its from. Thanks.
 
paulthenurse said:
Hey Cape...
I volunteer to be the Grandmaster Cheif Poobah Official Muckeymuck for you at the Bogathon. I can be the Starter and I can also come in off the bench and close. I'll station myself at the finish and take the Official Photo Finish. I'll man the First Aide Tent and give out those cool aluminum foil blankets. And I can start IV's and mainline some Bog Water into the not-runners who might get dehydrated. Waddah ya say? I just want one of those spiffy Bog Strong tee shirts.
Click to expand...

ehhhhhhh... no

Confirmed today that Joe Andruzzi is going to be a "celebrity bartender" for this thing. Kinda cool.

the response on the Book of Faces for this thing has been nuts. I honestly think it's going to sell out in under an hour.
 
Joe Andruzzi is Celebrity Bartender and I'm not invited to be Celebrity Hot ****? Really?

I mean I'm sure JA is glad, none of those B list stars like sharing their precious moments in the sun with Glitteratti like me but you should have told home to shut his pie hole and just be glad I'm willing to share the stage with him.

You still have time to swallow your pride and beg me to participate.
 
Cape Brewing said:
ehhhhhhh... no



Confirmed today that Joe Andruzzi is going to be a "celebrity bartender" for this thing. Kinda cool.



the response on the Book of Faces for this thing has been nuts. I honestly think it's going to sell out in under an hour.
Click to expand...


Don't forget your urban challenged friends up here. Let me know 3 days ahead so I can mail my money order.


Sent from the kingdom of beer.
 
Cape Brewing said:
ehhhhhhh... no

Confirmed today that Joe Andruzzi is going to be a "celebrity bartender" for this thing. Kinda cool.

the response on the Book of Faces for this thing has been nuts. I honestly think it's going to sell out in under an hour.
Click to expand...

Saving tix again for your 'friends'?


Sent from my iPod touch using Home Brew
 
I really have to see what the heck I am going to do about friends. I already have requests for about 30 tickets. The problem is, and this is what happened with the holiday party.... I "reserved" 20 tickets and then had friends #21-35 royally pissed at me because I didn't save tickets for them... so all of a sudden they "weren't good enough?"

It's a no-win situation.

I am heavily leaning towards simply making absolutely sure that friends know exactly when tickets go on sale and will then leave the ball in their court.

It's a nightmare trying to do it otherwise.







Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew because it impresses people
 

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