Beer Fetching Robot. I want one!

It has been my dream to own a monkey that will fetch me beer. After talking to my girlfriend I have learned that I am not allowed to have a beer monkey. And since it takes a long time to raise a child to beer fetching age I am forced to look into other alternatives.

I thought of training the dog but then the dog will have access to the fridge. She already opens all the ground level cupboards.

So in this world of electronic everything why can't I find a nice BeerBot? Does anyone have one that works for them? I have seen RC coolers, beer throwing mini fridges, and beer pouring bots.

RC coolers are dumb. If I had the foresight to load the cooler with ice and beer why wouldn't I have a brought it to the couch?

Beer throwing bots are even more stupid. Not only could I put the mini fridge next to the couch, but it also shakes the beer.

And I do not need a robot that will pour my beer. I am lazy but come on.

So I have 3 plans to deliver beer.

1. You know those chutes at the bank the take you paperwork and deliver you money? So the "bank" side is in the fridge and the other side is either at the desk or the couch.

I am sure I can get the thing to move with a shop-vac motor and some pvc pipe, but how do you do the bends? I mean there would be some fabrication involved in making a 90 degree turn.

2. Two words. CENTRAL BEER! You put a mini fridge at each "BeerSpot." In the fridge you a have a cold plate in a bucket of water.

I pretty much already am using this on a small scale. I have a mini fridge with a coldplate in it. The kegs sit on the outside of the fridge (one is inside the fridge as well.) The Central Beer idea would just mean more hose. I may not get the pressure I need to get up to the attic but still not a bad plan.

This project ignores the fact that I could just put bottles in the fridges

3. This one is a bit more complicated. You take one RC car and put a wireless webcam (or one that transmits on TV frequency) and some kind of beer basket on it.

Install a doggie door in your fridge and maybe a ramp. I am not sure how to deal with condensation or how to keep it charged in the fridge.

You bring up the webcam on your computer (or TV) and use the remote to drive it to you.

That seems like a lot of work. Isn't this why you have a girlfriend?

Yeah but it save the 15 second walk to the fridge.

mkay that was funny

Good thing I have a 4 year old that loves fetching beer...

Of course, In trade I have to go to the outside freezer to get her pop-i-cle...

What you need is a centralized soda vending machine of sorts, and on the exit point hook up that vacuum tube system the bank uses. Install a remote to press the button on the vending machine and active the vacuum system.

shecky said:

That seems like a lot of work. Isn't this why you have a girlfriend?

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I was wondering the same thing.

OK you mentioned training a dog, that reminds me of something - this is a true story. Some buddies I knew back in college had an apartment together, so I go over to their place one afternoon and there is like this rag/towel thing tied onto the refridgerator door. So I asked them "Hey whats this about ?" and they said, thats so the dog can fetch you a beer. I was all like "No way!" and they said "Yeah its true, one dog will go and open the fridge and bring you a beer and the other dog will go and close the refridgerator door". I still didn't believe it, so we all went into the living room and sat down where we could see into the kitchen and they told the dogs to go fetch a beer. I **** you not, the first dog went into the kitchen and bit the towel hanging on the refridgerator door and pulled it open. Then the dog got in the fridge and took out a beer and brought it too them. Then the other dog went in there and pushed the refridgerator door closed. Coolest dog trick I ever saw. Dogs did everything but open the beer and pour it in a goddamn glass - no kidding.

LOL that sort of an idea reminds me of :





sounds like someone is posting their ideas past their bed time

x2 on the g/f or wife fetching the beers in time of need ....delivered with a smile and some enthusiasm

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TJN_2kuH3s]YouTube - The Best Beer Fetching Dog on Youtube![/ame]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHsVjG9LyXo]YouTube - Beer Robot[/ame]

OK, let's see if I got this straight.... you want your beer brought to you by any means other than you having to get it yourself. Then you can loaf around doing what you do and not be bothered by such a long arduous journey to the fridge. What happens after two or three of these? You still have to get up off your big ass and tote your junk to the can, right?
You aren't thinking this all the way through. Put a TV, small workbench, and mini-fridge beside the commode! Problem solved! :rockin:

bull8042 said:

OK, let's see if I got this straight.... you want your beer brought to you by any means other than you having to get it yourself. Then you can loaf around doing what you do and not be bothered by such a long arduous journey to the fridge. What happens after two or three of these? You still have to get up off your big ass and tote your junk to the can, right?
You aren't thinking this all the way through. Put a TV, small workbench, and mini-fridge beside the commode! Problem solved! :rockin:

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When I was single at my old place the bathroom was on the second floor. I know it sounds gross but as long as you are not really aroused a Gatorade bottle is great for peeing in. It is hard to pee more than 32 oz. If you are drunk there is no aiming.

And after a night of heavy drinking it is good to fill up on liquids. Though be careful you drink the Gatorade and not the piss.

Since the little lady would probably not approve of my Gatorade plan I am looking into the stadium pal. If you do not know what a stadium pal is google it. Or listen to David Sedaris:
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBdymtyXt8Y]YouTube - David Sedaris on Letterman[/ame]

madewithchicken said:

When I was single at my old place the bathroom was on the second floor. I know it sounds gross but as long as you are not really aroused a Gatorade bottle is great for peeing in. It is hard to pee more than 32 oz. If you are drunk there is no aiming.

And after a night of heavy drinking it is good to fill up on liquids. Though be careful you drink the Gatorade and not the piss.

Since the little lady would probably not approve of my Gatorade plan I am looking into the stadium pal. If you do not know what a stadium pal is google it. Or listen to David Sedaris:

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I stand corrected! Obviously, you have thought through this more than I gave you credit for...
If you are on a crawl space, a piece of vinyl tubing down the side of the recliner into a hole in the floor would eliminate the need for bottles. 1/2" tubing would work for me, but you may need to go larger....size to fit.
If you are in an apartment, 2nd floor or above, this might not be a great solution.
Never though I would get involved in a thread like this on a homebrew site..

get a wife

madewithchicken said:

Since the little lady would probably not approve of my Gatorade plan I am looking into the stadium pal. If you do not know what a stadium pal is google it. Or listen to David Sedaris:
YouTube - David Sedaris on Letterman

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I actually just watched this the other day, absolutely hilarious.

Pivzavod said:

get a wife

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My girlfriend would be upset if I got a wife.

While you dismissed the child labour idea I have had good success with it.

My younger daughter was able to recognise her name (written) before she was 3 years old. A popular lager here is called Victoria Bitter. I took very little effort to teach Victoria to "go and get Dad something with your name on it"

A little word of warning. It is wise to buy cans rather than bottles early in the "learning curve".

Yes but it would take me a year tops to make a robot (or fail to make a robot which is more likely.) It would take 3 years and 9 months to make a 3 year old. And that is if I started right away.

I like the dog training idea, but I"m not sure I could teach it how to properly use the taps, and I'm not about to go back to bottling.

If you already have some kegging going on, just run refrigerated lines to your beer drinking stations.

The robot idea has reminded me of an old joke.

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts."

The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts."

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute."

The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore ..."

The man sighs and says, "It's started ..."

my friend has a robot arm. he's going to make it serve beer in time.

DeathBrewer said:

my friend has a robot arm. he's going to make it serve beer in time.

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In time for what?
Pretty crappy post for your #8000, by the way....

I was going to teach my dogs to do the beer thing but then I got thinking about how they'd probably start doing it in the middle of the night and leave the fridge wide open.. Then all my beer would get warm.. didn't like that idea..

meh...i gave up on my x000th posts a long time ago

bad phrase..."in time" he will make it serve beer. that better there, mister smarty pants?

DeathBrewer said:

meh...i gave up on my x000th posts a long time ago

bad phrase..."in time" he will make it serve beer. that better there, mister smarty pants?

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Brag, brag, brag..... And actually, it's Mister Smarty Pants, Sir. But, it's all cool. I am sure you won't let it happen again.

here is an economic approach...

you get a CO2 fire extinguisher and you leave a 12 pack of cans of your favorite beer and set them beside the couch. Then every time you want a cold beer, you set in on the floor in front of you, and shoot C02 from the extinguisher at it. Bottles would work fine as well, I just find that cans transfer the cold faster. It is vital that you use CO2 and not dry chemical (the wife/girlfriend/roomate will not be pleased). This works best on concrete in a garage, but if you are in a living room with carpet, test a hidden area for color fastness. Concerning the urine disposal, you're on your own. But I am a fan of the 32 oz. Gatorade bottle theory...it has been a friend of mine on road trips.

yes, I am the guy driving in the middle of the road because I am pulling up my zipper... I apologize to all of those whom I've run off the road!

remember...always aim the extinguisher at the base of the beer can or bottle.

TJ-Bill said:

I was going to teach my dogs to do the beer thing but then I got thinking about how they'd probably start doing it in the middle of the night and leave the fridge wide open.. Then all my beer would get warm.. didn't like that idea..

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I thought I might put a spring on the fridge door. But I think the dog would get scared if the door was trying to shut on her. Maybe if I use one of those screen door spring things. Correct me if I am wrong but I think that they close a door slowly.

About training a dog, yes I would have to switch back to bottles. If I got my dog fully functional I would make that switch.

I figure I make a purse like bag. I teach the dog to bring it to me on command. The command of course is, "Bring me a beer."

Then I start showing her how to open the fridge with the rope. Then of course I start putting the purse in the fridge.

If you can not tell already, I have a lot of free time at work to think of these things.