Funny things you've overheard about beer

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RCCOLA said:
I know this probably isn't right and have no idea why Lagunitas put it on there, but right from the label-->Made with 43 different hops and 65 various malts, this redolent ale will likely float your boat, whatever planet you’re on.

Everything from Lagunitas (printed) is silly and humorously self-deprecating.
 
DoctorMemory said:
they taught us to right the way we speak.

Now just learn your grammer and you'll have it made! :)

J/k, but as a former English major myself, I couldn't resist.

It's hard to resist, but grammar.

On topic: my uncle found out I brewed and wanted a beer. Said he liked "ales or lagers, but nothing too hoppy". Cool thanks for the guidance
 
It's hard to resist, but grammar.

On topic: my uncle found out I brewed and wanted a beer. Said he liked "ales or lagers, but nothing too hoppy". Cool thanks for the guidance

I hear things like that all the time.

My "On Topic" contribution: my buddy tried my Black IPA and said "dude! your stout went bad!" I'm not judging him but it made me laugh :cross:
 
I know this probably isn't right and have no idea why Lagunitas put it on there, but right from the label-->Made with 43 different hops and 65 various malts, this redolent ale will likely float your boat, whatever planet you’re on.

So. Maybe each glass is composed of 65 malt grains (count) and 43 hop cones per as well. Talk about an exacting recipe.
 
I went up to the BP near the corner to get some Dale's pale ale & vodka,7 found out the lady who waits on me was making lemon citrella or however it's called. Her brother used to brew she says,till too much fruit got the best of him. She liked the idea of my Maori IPA though. so I told her I'd try to bring her a couple bottles.
 
I went up to the BP near the corner to get some Dale's pale ale & vodka,7 found out the lady who waits on me was making lemon citrella or however it's called. Her brother used to brew she says,till too much fruit got the best of him. She liked the idea of my Maori IPA though. so I told her I'd try to bring her a couple bottles.

Limoncello?
 
OK, while not technically something that I "heard"...

In West Virginia, what I brew is legally defined as "non-intoxicating beer". If it's so "non-intoxicating" why do I get so wobbly after a few too many? :drunk:
 
unionrdr said:
I went up to the BP near the corner to get some Dale's pale ale & vodka,7 found out the lady who waits on me was making lemon citrella or however it's called. Her brother used to brew she says,till too much fruit got the best of him. She liked the idea of my Maori IPA though. so I told her I'd try to bring her a couple bottles.

Drinking citronella doesn't actually keep mosquitos away contrary to popular belief
 
Watching "Good Morning America" today and saw the pre teen band of the 80's, The Hansons (mmm bop), now have a beer. It's called "MMMM HOP". The proceeds are going to disaster relief for Oklahoma, which is good but I just can't wrap my head around that band promoting a beer.
 
nasty_rabbit said:
Watching "Good Morning America" today and saw the pre teen band of the 80's, The Hansons (mmm bop), now have a beer. It's called "MMMM HOP". The proceeds are going to disaster relief for Oklahoma, which is good but I just can't wrap my head around that band promoting a beer.

Hanson debuted in the 90's, don't make us older than we already are please! I remember reading about their beer a couple years ago so it's not brand new. I have never seen it available in Illinois. Anyone know where it is sold?
 
It's not out yet, mustang is still doing pilot bathes for it but gave some out at parties.
 
OK, while not technically something that I "heard"...

In West Virginia, what I brew is legally defined as "non-intoxicating beer". If it's so "non-intoxicating" why do I get so wobbly after a few too many? :drunk:

I just looked at this, so apparently beer up to 12% ABV is "non-intoxicating" in WV?

I must be a lightweight then :drunk:
 
Chelada.jpg
 

That's what I said.

"Don Chelada
Michelada Mix
Beer Booster &
Hangover Helper"... in the 99-cent store.

Straight from Wiki: "Michelada (Spanish pronunciation: [mitʃeˈlaða]) is a Mexican cerveza preparada made with beer, lime juice, and assorted sauces, spices, and peppers.[1] It is served in a chilled, salt-rimmed glass.[2] There are numerous variations of this beverage throughout Mexico and Latin America.[1][2]

Some people in Mexico believe micheladas are a good remedy for hangovers, although that's more a custom between drinkers.[3][4][5] There are different variations of Micheladas; for example in Mexico City, the most common form of a Michelada is prepared with beer, lime, salt, and particular hot sauces or chile slices. There are several other optional ingredients such as Maggi, Worcestershire sauce, Chamoy powder, serrano peppers, Clamato, or slices of orange."

I don't think I'll be mixing any homebrew with this... maybe a Corona or Dos Equis just to try it.
 
That's what I said.

"Don Chelada
Michelada Mix
Beer Booster &
Hangover Helper"... in the 99-cent store.

Straight from Wiki: "Michelada (Spanish pronunciation: [mitʃeˈlaða]) is a Mexican cerveza preparada made with beer, lime juice, and assorted sauces, spices, and peppers.[1] It is served in a chilled, salt-rimmed glass.[2] There are numerous variations of this beverage throughout Mexico and Latin America.[1][2]

Some people in Mexico believe micheladas are a good remedy for hangovers, although that's more a custom between drinkers.[3][4][5] There are different variations of Micheladas; for example in Mexico City, the most common form of a Michelada is prepared with beer, lime, salt, and particular hot sauces or chile slices. There are several other optional ingredients such as Maggi, Worcestershire sauce, Chamoy powder, serrano peppers, Clamato, or slices of orange."

I don't think I'll be mixing any homebrew with this... maybe a Corona or Dos Equis just to try it.

Take a Modelo especial or something similar and combine it with your favorite bloody Mary recipe. For example

Modelo Especial
Clamato
Lime juice (good amount)
Salt
Worsterchire
Olive and a little brine
Old bays
Tabasco

Then consume said drink around 11:00 am or so in 90 plus degree weather by a pool.
 
Take a Modelo especial or something similar and combine it with your favorite bloody Mary recipe. For example

Modelo Especial
Clamato
Lime juice (good amount)
Salt
Worsterchire
Olive and a little brine
Old bays
Tabasco

Then consume said drink around 11:00 am or so in 90 plus degree weather by a pool.

the BigHair would say, "the very definition of FOUL"
 
Take a Modelo especial or something similar and combine it with your favorite bloody Mary recipe. For example

Modelo Especial
Clamato
Lime juice (good amount)
Salt
Worsterchire
Olive and a little brine
Old bays
Tabasco

Then consume said drink around 11:00 am or so in 90 plus degree weather by a pool.
Um....no. I think I will drink my rice wine instead.
 
It's hard to resist, but grammar.

On topic: my uncle found out I brewed and wanted a beer. Said he liked "ales or lagers, but nothing too hoppy". Cool thanks for the guidance

It's my priority at the next event I attend, where people are drinking Miller, to explain in the most convincing manner that "triple hopped" means the hop flavor becomes more pronounced if you hop three times while holding the can/bottle before opening.
 
Yesterday at upscale seafood restaurant

Me: What do you have on tap?

Waiter: We just got in LA-31. It's an imperial IPA. High gravity.

Me: (giggle). Ok I'll have one

Later,

Me: What else do you have on tap?

Waiter: We have Fascist Pig. It's my favorite IPA on tap.

Me: (sigh). Ok If it's your favorite. I'll have one

WTF????
 
geniz said:
Yesterday at upscale seafood restaurant

Me: What do you have on tap?

Waiter: We just got in LA-31. It's an imperial IPA. High gravity.

Me: (giggle). Ok I'll have one

Later,

Me: What else do you have on tap?

Waiter: We have Fascist Pig. It's my favorite IPA on tap.

Me: (sigh). Ok If it's your favorite. I'll have one

WTF????

Except Fascist Pig is an imperial red by Finch's in Chicago. Hence the name. The recipe is by a friend of mine.
 
10 min ago at bar in NC. patron drinking budlight (probably a joke). George Bush makes good beer
?????????
 
At a recent gathering, guy shows up empty handed and is going around asking if he can " bum " a beer. Someone offers him a Michelob Amber, he says " eww, a dark beer, those give me a headache. Got anything else?"
 
At a recent gathering, guy shows up empty handed and is going around asking if he can " bum " a beer. Someone offers him a Michelob Amber, he says " eww, a dark beer, those give me a headache. Got anything else?"

someone neds to learn that beggers can't be choosers :D
 
I was having beers with some trainees from work last night. I had been working all week with one of them and he told some of the guys that I brew my own beer, this was the conversation after his comment...

Trainee #1: "oh that's cool! And it's stronger than normal beer too"
Me: "what?"
Trainee #1: "home brewed beer, isn't it like 6%?"
Me: "well, it depends on what you brew...this one is 7.6%"
Trainee #1: "NO WAY! Are you gonna be drunk off of one of them, or what?"
Me: (trying to be nice) "haha...no"
Trainee #2: have you ever had that Bud Light Platinum? It's like 12%!"
Me: "haha!!! No, it's like 6%."
Trainee #2: "oh, so it's like home brewed stuff?"
Me: "I have to go, I'm getting a headache
 
The local Big W (think Walmart) has a tiny brewing section which I like to browse from time to time for a laugh. To give you an idea, they have packets of 'Hops' which come in a circular freeze-dried cake and don't even mention what variety of hop it is. It's just Hops. Yeah.

As I'm reading the packet trying to figure out just what the hell I was actually holding, some random guy comes up to me and says,

Him: So do you brew your own beer?
Me: Yeah, I do.

I put the Freeze Dried Mystery Hops back and pick up a packet of generic finings to read it.

Him: Mate you don't need that stuff, it wrecks your beer. Stay away from it.
Me: Oh?
Him: Trust me on this one. I teach my mates how to brew, they call me "Mr. Beer"!
Me: Is that so?
Him: You bet. All you need is this *points to a can of extract* and some of these *grabs a packet of 'Hops'*, mix them up and in 10 days you'll have yourself a proper BOUTIQUE BEER.
Me: Okay. I'm going now. Bye.

Told the owner of my LHBS about this exchange and he couldn't stop laughing.
 
OK, while not technically something that I "heard"...

In West Virginia, what I brew is legally defined as "non-intoxicating beer". If it's so "non-intoxicating" why do I get so wobbly after a few too many? :drunk:

Because in that part of the world most folks are whippin up batches of good ole Appalachian white lightning up in the hills. Compared to a jar of that, homebrew could be considered fit for consumption by small children.
 
In a fancy restaurant in NYC:
Me: I'll try the Birra Lursia
Waiter: good choice
(Water returns with bottle)
Me: I'll pour it thanks.
(I pour it just the way I like it and leave the dreggs behind)
(waiter returns when my glass is half empty, swirls the bottle and proceeds to dump it into my clean beer)
Me: woah, that's ok I don't want the rest
Waiter: it's the best part, that's where the most alcohol is!
(waiter dumps the rest of the bottle into my glass, I stare at the cloudy mess)
Friend: that guys an idiot
Me: ...at least my beer is stronger (tongue in cheek)
 
In a fancy restaurant in NYC:
Me: I'll try the Birra Lursia
Waiter: good choice
(Water returns with bottle)
Me: I'll pour it thanks.
(I pour it just the way I like it and leave the dreggs behind)
(waiter returns when my glass is half empty, swirls the bottle and proceeds to dump it into my clean beer)
Me: woah, that's ok I don't want the rest
Waiter: it's the best part, that's where the most alcohol is!
(waiter dumps the rest of the bottle into my glass, I stare at the cloudy mess)
Friend: that guys an idiot
Me: ...at least my beer is stronger (tongue in cheek)

Baha, his tips went back in your pocket, eh?
 
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