Obnoxious Football Trash Talk Thread

I'm at 15016 pages.

Wait, 15017 now.

AZ_IPA said:

That's not a relevent fact until you tell us how many posts per page your settings are set for.

Click to expand...

all of them.

The draft always makes me nervous. It's one of those "divide by zero/universe imploding on itself" moments. On the one hand you have a team that really can't get any better yet on the other hand you have that same team, who by definition is awesome, making picks (which they will obviously do an awesome job of) to make the team better. It's against most basic laws of physics.

Cape Brewing said:

The draft always makes me nervous. It's one of those "divide by zero/universe imploding on itself" moments. On the one hand you have a team that really can't get any better yet on the other hand you have that same team, who by definition is awesome, making picks (which they will obviously do an awesome job of) to make the team better. It's against most basic laws of physics.

Click to expand...

And then there's the Cardinals...

Or the Bungles... Even when they're successful they fail.

Lions

The Lions tend to luck into their success though. The Bengals have been known to make a few quality decisions but the end result is still hemhorraging. Playoffs? Sure. Chance of winning? 0%.

Jets. I'm sure we'll draft two forgettable defensive linemen, even though defensive line wasn't throwing the ball to the other teams or running full speed with their eyes closed into other people's asses and fumbling the ball away. Worst scenario is to grab another pretty boy USC quarterback with a noodle arm with one of the 1st round picks we have this year.

But would it be worth chancing noodle boy on a 2nd round pick?

Accidic said:

But would it be worth chancing noodle boy on a 2nd round pick?

Click to expand...

Our 2012 starting RB is the backup for the Titans this year. The receiving corps is a joke. We lost our starting TE. The O-line is getting old. The linebackers are old/gone. We just traded our likely Hall-of-Fame caliber starting CB. We have no safetys worth mentioning. Westhoff is gone - our special teams coordinator and a personal favorite.

There are so many holes on the roster that I don't think we can take a QB early on in the draft. The entire AFC East should thank us because you can circle on a W on your teams calendar when you play us.

On a side note, I've seen Mike Glennon's (NC State) name mentioned as a 2nd/3rd round pick. Ha! I wonder if anyone actually watched Glennon play. Yeah he's got a cannon arm, but he has a habit of throwing it to the other team, and he's slow as ****.

Sounds like the makings of a "nobody believed in us" kind of season.

Of course, it also sounds like a top 5 pick in the 2014 draft kind of season too.

Sorry Darwin.

(I'm really, really not)

stratslinger said:

Sounds like the makings of a "nobody believed in us" kind of season.

Of course, it also sounds like a top 5 pick in the 2014 draft kind of season too.

Sorry Darwin.

(I'm really, really not)

Click to expand...

No, no, it's fine. I wonder how Johnny Manziel will like playing in NJ. It doesn't matter if he likes or not, he WILL play there.

Cape Brewing said:

The draft always makes me nervous. It's one of those "divide by zero/universe imploding on itself" moments. On the one hand you have a team that really can't get any better yet on the other hand you have that same team, who by definition is awesome, making picks (which they will obviously do an awesome job of) to make the team better. It's against most basic laws of physics.

Click to expand...

you...uh.....don't really know how physics works, do you?

Darwin18 said:

No, no, it's fine. I wonder how Johnny Manziel will like playing in NJ. It doesn't matter if he likes or not, he WILL play there.

Click to expand...

How'd that work out for Baltimore with Elway again? Also, wasn't he a freshman last year? Is he even eligible to enter the draft after finishing his sophomore year? I thought you had to complete your Junior year? In any event, I'm not convinced yet that Manziel will translate to success in the pros yet although he does at least have great tools that look to be a fit.


That said, your running game has been abysmal for a while. Unless you're going to keep Tebow and put him back there (which to be fair I'm not foolish enough to think would be successful) then honestly I'd consider drafting that position in the 1st and coaching up the other positions as best you can. Also, didn't you gain some cap room and some extra picks for Revis to work with? I can't see them playing for top draft picks to try and nab any one person or position next year (people talked a big game with "Suck for Luck" but honestly I don't think they strove for it). Honestly though, even if you target filling those holes, they're going to be top 5 for picks next season with their current QB monstrosity. I will admittedly admit I'm not convinced Barkley will be great but having seen him play in a few games I think noodle-arm might be a stretch. Just so long as he ends up being a Palmer (yes he sucks but still) rather than a Sanchez I can't see how you'd have too much heartburn over him even as a 2nd rounder (They've got 2 picks in the 2nd anyway don't they?).

Forget Tebow; even the JETS can't be stupid enough to keep him around.

The X-factor for the JETS (and by this, I mean "the variable that might help them win four games instead of two") is David Garrard. Garrard hasn't played in ages, but he looked... well, like a professional QB for Miami before he got hurt. He probably would have won the starting job. He's certainly not going to get them to the playoffs, but he's a solid professional who doesn't **** too much **** up.

I've got to believe that, Sanchez-tattoo-or-not, Rex Ryan's going to have to give him a shot at the starting job.

**** David Garrard. He's old, washed up, and immobile - sounds just what we need. No. Someone at some point though Mark Sanchez was worthy of a top 5 pick. He's playing for his job now and I hope he realizes it. He needs to perform or he's getting cut next season and no one is going to be lining up for his services. Tebow needs to go. I'll never understand why he was brought in or why they didn't give him a chance last year but they gave Greg McElroy a shot instead.

Forget the Jets, that's my personal burden and shame. Let's keep the talk to some real teams.

HAHAHAHAHAHA, David Garrard. What a f'n joke. I'd honest to god take Tebow over Garrard in a heartbeat AT QUARTERBACK no less. FFS, I'd even take Sanchez over Garrard's worthless ass. Garrard is fragile, inept, and 3 or 4 tolerably decent plays in what was little more than a scrimmage total does not a great quarterback make. I have to agree with Darwin here... I'm pretty sure you fell off your chair and hit your head Bird.

McElroy starting was simple... Ryan felt it made it look like he was actually trying and if there was any hope at salvaging his job it gave him the best chance. Even had he went Tebow with the year they had last year he'd have much more likely received the axe than had he started McElroy. It's simple NFL bias, perhaps even justified, but bias nonetheless. I must admit though I was kind of hoping he'd do it as a way of flipping the bird to the rest of the league. Had he succeeded all the better.

The Jets are, simply put, a f'n trainwreck. And while the wheels appear to be falling off for Ryan, I'm not convinced he's the real problem.

I never said he was good; I said he was better than Sanchez!

All I'm saying is... he's a guy who might be able to come in, complete 55% of his passes, and not give his offensive lineman a rim-job mid-play. Did you watch him in Miami's preseason at all last year?

the_bird said:

I never said he was good; I said he was better than Sanchez!

All I'm saying is... he's a guy who might be able to come in, complete 55% of his passes, and not give his offensive lineman a rim-job mid-play. Did you watch him in Miami's preseason at all last year?

Click to expand...

I did thanks to the redzone!

Darwin18 said:

**** David Garrard. He's old, washed up, and immobile - sounds just what we need. No. Someone at some point though Mark Sanchez was worthy of a top 5 pick. He's playing for his job now and I hope he realizes it. He needs to perform or he's getting cut next season and no one is going to be lining up for his services. Tebow needs to go. I'll never understand why he was brought in or why they didn't give him a chance last year but they gave Greg McElroy a shot instead.

Forget the Jets, that's my personal burden and shame. Let's keep the talk to some real teams.

Click to expand...

Have no fear Darwin ... You now have Cliff Harris. He'll score more TDs than tebow Sanchez and McElroy and he plays defense!!!

Today is draft day. A day of hope for even the worst teams, unless you are the Browns and are going to be drafting another QB in the 1st round. That is all.

the_bird said:

I never said he was good; I said he was better than Sanchez!

All I'm saying is... he's a guy who might be able to come in, complete 55% of his passes, and not give his offensive lineman a rim-job mid-play. Did you watch him in Miami's preseason at all last year?

Click to expand...

The giant stinkie dump I took this morning is better than Sanchez.

Surely to god the Browns won't draft yet another QB. I'm still not clear on what was wrong with the one they had when they went for one last year. Yeah, he didn't do too great with absolutely no running game whatsoever and a fairly weak team. SHOCKER.

And to be fair... Sanchez can be a successful quarterback. Just run your routes with a TE and place a concurrent route about 10 yards deeper with a wide receiver. Every pass will have a fair shot to actually be caught! I was always amazed at how he always seemed to overthrow Keller by 4 feet or so so that should clear that right up! As for the repeated fumbling well... You're probably stuck there.

Didn't Garrard get hurt before he could even take a snap in the preseason last year? Heheh. IIRC, they were pretty much sold on the new kid starting from the getgo. It was him versus some scrub I'd never heard of and some really lousy backup qb. I don't remember Garrard actually taking a snap last year but I only watched 2 of the games (which were to be fair, god awful). It kind of amuses me as that they came within closing out a few games of making the playoffs.

The Browns are under new management (again) this year and apparently they're not thrilled that the previous management team drafted a 28 year old quarterback with a 1st round pick last year. Jason Campbell is a good backup but he's not going to carry a team. A lot of the mocks (including Don Banks from SI) I have seen have Geno Smith going to the Browns....

Honestly I think I'd rather have Jason Campbell starting than Weeden. He's not going to blow the doors off any of your opposition, but he proved to be solid making a very crappy Oakland team look moderately respectable before getting drug through the mud with Palmer. He didn't do it by scoring a lot of points though but rather by not making a lot of mistakes. Trent Dilfer was like that and won a Super Bowl with the Ravens by not losing the game for them. Campbell is pretty much just like that. He does a little better with a good TE though. Not sure the situation for the Browns at that position.

On the upside, I've seen a lot of mocks who don't have Geno going in the first round at all. I find most of them rather suspect as there are a lot of desperate teams out there and very poor prospects at the position. Better Smith than Barkley though. Even if he doesn't work out at QB, he's got good hands. I can think of a few past QBs turned WR that have done tremendously well in the NFL after the change.

I like the Browns. They're a cute little team.

Must suck when most of you losers see other teams like the Packers have a great couple of QBs for 20+ years. Even if Favre went full mental the last 6 of his career.

lol. Goodell may go after him for betting on the NFL

That #3 pick was for you Tom Brady.....

Love Desmond Trufant .Falcons need a DE

Typical Patriots genius last night. And they didn't even have to buy the Vikings a drink before hand. The Vikings are so slutty.

Dee Milliner was a logical choice, but drafting ANOTHER defensive lineman in the 1st round for the third year in a row really, really pisses me off. Especially one that has motivation/maturity issues. We had the 30th ranked offense last year - TE Tyler Eifert was still available and would have fit a major hole. This is why certain teams continue to stink year in and year out while others (Green Bay, Baltimore) understand how the draft works.

At least the Jets didn't draft E.J. Manuel like the Bills did. What a joke! The guy has a NFL body, but if you watched him play it was apparent that he was extremely raw and definitely, definitely NOT a 1st round pick.

Manuel wasn't even a 2nd or 3rd round project pick. A couple years ago the best thing that happened to FSU against Oklahoma was Manuel getting hurt ffs. I'd literally want to actually START Tebow over Manuel and I'm not even joking. The only way that kid would have been drafted before the 4th was had they had a run on qbs in the 2nd and 3rd. Even then, how could you not draft someone else and wait to get him uncontested in the 2nd or even the 3rd? Or for the love of all that's holy, trade the pick to Jax for the 34th and one of their 4th round picks. You'd still get the guy you want and a 4th round project as well.

As for the vikings megatrade, I just hope Patterson works out. If he excels it still wasn't an awful deal.

For the Bungles I'm slightly surprised. Apparently they're trying to imitate the Patriots? Good for them I guess. Should be somewhat interesting to watch next year at least.

@Darwin, looks like the Noodle arm pick still might be plausible. Seems as if all the picks they needed got pulled out from under them.

hoppyhoppyhippo said:

Love Desmond Trufant .Falcons need a DE

Click to expand...

Trufant is a softie. He will fit in well with that vagina defense.

McBrewskie said:

Trufant is a softie. He will fit in well with that vagina defense.

Click to expand...

I'm sure he'll be a softie when gets to awkwardly grope the Lombardi trophy in February.

hoppyhoppyhippo said:

Love Desmond Trufant .Falcons need a DE

Click to expand...

He'll flop like all UW players...

Now Dion Jordan...he's a late first round stud; third overall pick not so much. He'll still be really good because he can drop back in coverage.

hoppyhoppyhippo said:

I'm sure he'll be a softie when gets to awkwardly grope the Lombardi trophy in February.

Click to expand...

Not ****ing likely. Bunch of choke artists in a pathetic sports town.

HoppyDaze said:

He'll flop like all UW players...

Now Dion Jordan...he's a late first round stud; third overall pick not so much. He'll still be really good because he can drop back in coverage.

Click to expand...

Trufant will flop but Jordan will be a big old bust having traded up to 3 to get him. That was not smart. I guess he could go all JPP and I'll be completely wrong but I'm expecting Vernon Gholston.

Haha love it Hoppy he came from Oregon he's guaranteed to succed (harrington)