Utopia Clone #3 Perfecting Nirvanha

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We have decided to change only one thing from the original recipe and that is to use the bigger mash tun with a few in reserve.

CB don't you have a big ass pot we can use towards the end of the boil to combine everything?
 
CB don't you have a big ass pot we can use towards the end of the boil to combine everything?

I had this conversation with Paul already... My rig has two 45 gal pots on it but they are hard-plumbed in. We would have to buy a few unions, a small amount of copper pipe and then caps in order to "plug" all of the hard plumbed connections. PTN didn't think the 60-70 bucks it would cost for that stuff was worth it.
 
Hold on for a second, kids, while Daddy and Chris have a little talk.

Chris, do you remember me saying we would need to talk more, and not to go blathering anything on the thread until we had worked everything out? Yes THIS is what I meant, you Jackwagon!

OK kids, I'm back.

Here is what my esteemed partner and the cross I have to carry in the U Brew is bleating about...

We sat down with a pencil and paper and figured out volumes of grain and strike water. The Mega Tun is big, it's huge but it's not endless. It will easily hold all the ingredients for ten gallons and probably even for 15. Twenty it can't do. We haven't' done the calculations yet, or if Chris did he hasn't told me the results yet but the quick calculations we did on Saturday indicated that we are going to be tight. We also agreed to make only one major change per year. The major change this year is the Mega Tun. We agreed to not spend the $300 for the materials to build a new pot till next year. We are still arguing about whether one big pot is more efficient than 5 small ones. I can't make him see the light on that one.

So there we are. Yes we are still doing the brew. Yes we are still on for Feb 26. Yes we will end up with more than 10 gallons and will allow whomever wants a share of it to fight it out with switchblades, winner takes all. And yes, I am going to go strangle Chris right now.

PTN
 
Uhhh... Paul... since I have an official share... I have some suggestions for the recipe i would like to discuss when you have a chance.

An entire squadron of monkeys wearing pink tutu's and golden tiaras and singing Sweet Home Alabama will fly out of my butt before that happens.


Just hung up the phone with Chris.
"Did you go back to the spreadsheet and do the calculations?"
"Uhhh. I'm going to do that tonight. I gotta go. I'll call you back."

"And that's all I remember, Your Honor. I just sort of woke up at that point, but it was weird cause I had an ax in my hands and Chris was lying on the ground at my feet and there was blood EVERYWHERE and I felt GREAT! Weird."

PTN
 
Hey Paul... could you let me know how you plan on actually running this wort off of this ridiculous MT? I know your grand false bottom scheme fell through and I'm starting to get a little concerned about my share of this beer.

I know this mash is going to stick like a rock anyway but what is your plan?? A large number of drinking straws perhaps?? Oooo... maybe you can connect them end to end and taping with scotch tape?? Just poke little holes in them with a pin. Should work!
 
Oh... Paul... sorry... one other thing. Hows the boil pot situation coming? I know you're a bit hell bent on boiling it all in one big pot for... no apparent logical reason... but that's besides the point.

How's the construction of that pot coming? Sounded like you were going to build a pot.

Sounds like a solid plan. Just keep me posted. I don't want our beer getting all effed up.
 
Oh jeez.... Where is my head this morning?!?! forgot to ask you... yeah... can you explain your grand scheme of creating the entire starter for this 1180 beer off a five gallon 1040 pale? It sounds awfully compelling and I'm guessing others would like to benefit from your wisdom on this.

Intuitively it makes sense. You wouldn't want to toss yeast into a big beer starter and stress them. Nooooo. Instead, you should put them into a nice LOW Og beer. THAT way there's just enough sugar for the cell count to... I dunno... double.. instead of a big beer where the cell count would multiple by a factor of ten. SO THAT WAY, when you pitch into the 1180... there are enough cells to actually ferment... instead of stressing them to DEATH instantly for sugar-shock.

BUT... I'm sure you read it somewhere on the interwebs on that a flask of 1040 starter should be fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine for this beer.

Hey... can you send me the link to that article.

Just getting a little nervous.
 
It's a 1050 10 gallon starter.... I wanted to do the barley wine but PTN won that argument, and I won the multiple brew pot argument. :)
 
Who said anything voting?? I'm asking what exactly your plans on here. The brew date is two weeks away and as far as I can tell you don't have a mash tun, a boil kettle or enough yeast.

Those are three things that tend to be important on brew day.
 
NOT a response that makes me confident Paul.

HEY... here's an idea... maybe to run off the wort off the MT you can just scoop out big handfulls of grain and squeeze 'em in your hands over a bucket.

Eh??? Just don't squeeze TOO hard. Don't want tannins.

Oh... nah... probably too hot to use your hands. PFFTTT!!! I said "TOO HOT"!!!! Yeah... like you're gonna be able to come CLOSE to keeping this mash warm.
 
Just tryin' to think how you can keep the mash from plummeting to room temp in the first 15 minutes of the mash.... hmmm...

I'mmmmmm thinkin' maybe an elaborate series of candles perhaps... Nah... that won't work. The plastic "tun" is probably going to get soft and leach plastic chemicals into the mash to begin with... adding direct heat to it DEF won't work.

UGGGG... back to the drawing board.
 
Just on the 0.000005% chance this might be useful.

Saw this on Craigslist the other day.

3k53o43lc5O35P55X3b1e232d0146673b1625.jpg


It's a 50 gallon stainless steel colander. What it looks like to me is the mother of all false bottoms. The listing's about a month old, and he was looking for $150 (firm). If he still ain't sold it, maybe "firm" has become a little more "flaccid".

It's in Worthington, more in my neck of the woods.
 
Despite all of my dear friend Cape's caterwauling I've got it covered. Since the false bottom proved to be cost prohibitive I'm making a manifold out of 3/4 inch copper. Yeager wants to use high temp plastic but I've never used that stuff before. Copper and sweating joints I've been doing for years, no mystery there. CB can conjugate my dangling participle when it works like a dream.

The big home made kettle will wait till next time, Yeager and I agreed to make only one major change per batch

PTN
 
Just bought the copper and all the fittings. Would someone who is more geometry savvy than I please tell me what the lengths of each edge of an octagon within a circle that has a radius of 12.75 inches should be.

PTN

OK I just confused myself when I reread that sentence and I knew what I was asking. Here it is again. The bottom of the mash tun has a diameter of 24.5 inches. I want to make up a manifold that is octagonal in shape, with two cross pieces so I have flow from the center of the grain bed. 3/4 inch copper is expensive, I want to know how long to cut each leg before I start hacking away with the tubing cutter. Who among you is a math whiz?
P
 
Agreed, that thing is bad assed.

PTN

My first thought was that it looked like it was just about the same diameter as your new mash tun. Add a ton of stability as well. Looking at the beer bottle in the picture, though, sure looks like it's got a diameter > than your 24" tun.

Just think about all that coin you're about to spend on copper. Could be worth an email, if it was the right size I could take a drive to pick it up.

EDIT: I see now that you've already bought the copper.
 
Just bought the copper and all the fittings. Would someone who is more geometry savvy than I please tell me what the lengths of each edge of an octagon within a circle that has a radius of 12.75 inches should be.

PTN

OK I just confused myself when I reread that sentence and I knew what I was asking. Here it is again. The bottom of the mash tun has a diameter of 24.5 inches. I want to make up a manifold that is octagonal in shape, with two cross pieces so I have flow from the center of the grain bed. 3/4 inch copper is expensive, I want to know how long to cut each leg before I start hacking away with the tubing cutter. Who among you is a math whiz?
P

I can get you an answer in AutoCad shortly.
 
Autocad crashed. wont be able to get you an answer till tonight. Ill check back on here later tonight and see if any one else beat me to it...

Pretty simple design, but if your making an octogon your corner angles may not match up. Ill use 45 and 90 degree angles to make sure you can build and find parts at Home Depot or Lowes.
 
24.5 inches!?!?!?! I thought you said this thing was about four feet wide!?!?!

Now it is mysteriously TWO feet?? Ypu werr balbbing that the freakin grain bed was gonna be four inches thick!!!

Oh man, this is gonna be awesome.


Each individual length othe octogon should be about seven inches.
 
Just do you know, make sure to compensate for your fittings. That drawing is not accurate and it's going point to point and to the edge of your mash tun with no edge relief.

I'm sure you've thought of that. Right cape!
 
Oh I'm sorry, I forgot you didnt want it to drain right by putting the manifold RIGHT up against the sides. Read How To Brew Paul. It is a great book that teaches you hoe to make beer. He did a pretty in depth study of flow rates and right up against the edge is bad placement. You want it more towards the center, equidistant from the center and the edges so it draws evenly.

OR... OR... Given the fittings... About seven inch lengths.


So!!!! As Wildwest so eliquently put it earlier today. Blow me.
 
Oh. And the "blow me" was for Paul. Not you Dakota.

Putting on the edge like they have in Paul's expert "other thread" is a mistake.

And if you think about it, the math is easy. There are three lengths to the "side" of an octogon. Three on each "side" and two on each "end". 7 inch lengths give you seven inches plus seven inches (two sevens times a half given the 45 degree angles) is 14.... Plus an inch or so for the fittings gives you a fifteen inch diameter manifold sitting nicely spaced in between the edges and the center... Where it should be.
 
And if you think about it, the math is easy. There are three lengths to the "side" of an octogon. Three on each "side" and two on each "end". 7 inch lengths give you seven inches plus seven inches (two sevens times a half given the 45 degree angles) is 14.... Plus an inch or so for the fittings gives you a fifteen inch diameter manifold sitting nicely spaced in between the edges and the center... Where it should be.

Whatever... In my mind I'm once again co-staring in a 35 year old sexual fantasy. I left seven inches in my rear view mirror hours ago. I gotta go get a bigger mash tun right now.
 
Cape,
We need to sit down and talk about where all of this anger and emotion is coming from? I can't imaging your mother didn't breast feed you enough, there was nothing she loved more than a set of lips slurping on her ....

Oh sorry, we agreed not to talk about your geneology.

My bad.

Dad
 
. I gotta go get a bigger mash tun right now.

Ohhhhhhhhh. So you have finally accepted what I have been telling you for three weeks!?!?

Let it go. No one is gonna think you're more of a man because you built a super big instantly mash sticking mash tun. Just freakin mash in multiple tuns ya freakin donkey!!!
 
.

And if you think about it, the math is easy. There are three lengths to the "side" of an octogon. Three on each "side" and two on each "end". 7 inch lengths give you seven inches plus seven inches (two sevens times a half given the 45 degree angles) is 14.... Plus an inch or so for the fittings gives you a fifteen inch diameter manifold sitting nicely spaced in between the edges and the center... Where it should be.

Tell the truth... You went to Oxford but it was really Oxford County Community College in Buttfarck, Kentucky, right?

Dad
 
Cape Brewing said:
Oh. And the "blow me" was for Paul. Not you Dakota.

Putting on the edge like they have in Paul's expert "other thread" is a mistake.

And if you think about it, the math is easy. There are three lengths to the "side" of an octogon. Three on each "side" and two on each "end". 7 inch lengths give you seven inches plus seven inches (two sevens times a half given the 45 degree angles) is 14.... Plus an inch or so for the fittings gives you a fifteen inch diameter manifold sitting nicely spaced in between the edges and the center... Where it should be.

Got that! You two are fricken hilarious! I would love to put the last beer on earth in a cage and watch you guys destroy each other for it.
 
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