Funny things you've overheard about beer

Psylocide said:

Last night this huge, 35-ish burly bearded dude walks into the liquor store as I was browsing the selection and says, "Hey, do you guys have Summer Shandy?"

Liquor store girl: "Yeah, it's over by the Leinenkugel and other seasonals."

Dude: "SWEET! This stuff is amazing!"

Me:

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Hey as a 35ish bearded dude (maybe not burly, but definately surley) I do enjoy the occasional shandy. But I can't say Leinenkugel without going all Swedish Chef. Boingee Boingee Bork Bork!

SnakeRidge said:

Hey as a 35ish bearded dude (maybe not burly, but definately surley) I do enjoy the occasional shandy. But I can't say Leinenkugel without going all Swedish Chef. Boingee Boingee Bork Bork!

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Hergie flerg er doo.

ericbw said:

Also, I think he's referring to the fact that TxBrew runs this site.

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Exactly.

Psylocide said:

Last night this huge, 35-ish burly bearded dude walks into the liquor store as I was browsing the selection and says, "Hey, do you guys have Summer Shandy?"

Liquor store girl: "Yeah, it's over by the Leinenkugel and other seasonals."

Dude: "SWEET! This stuff is amazing!"

Me:

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I like shandy. Yum. Funny. Doesn't match his description.

Oh I thought the funny part was that it's not shandy season.

ericbw said:

Oh I thought the funny part was that it's not shandy season.

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Seasons are like the beer style guide lines. Home brewers toss them out the window!

And yes I'll drink a barley wine in the middle of summer.

Tonight at the pub next to my hotel in Sugar Land, TX. Not 100% memory on the sequence of dialogue but the point will get acros:

Me: "Time for dessert, I'll have the Founder's Breakfast stout"
Bartender: *Pours a beer thats about 8 SRM at the most* "Here ya go"
Me: *Laughs like a ******, not my proudest moment* "Thats not a freakin stout look at that!"
Bartender: "Yeah it is, look!" He proceeds to unscrew the tap handle to "prove" to me he's right. "Try it"
Me: *Take a sip to humor him* "Nope, not even close"
Bartender: "Well have you had it before? I know stouts are usually darker but maybe they're going for something lighter"
Me: "yes, I've had it. Here, look..."

*I provide a google image search of what the beer should look like. The pic has the bottle next to it so you can read the label: Founder's breakfast stout. Double chocolate oatmeal coffee stout*

Bartender: "Well thats the double, all we have is the regular"
Me: *I realize this is a losing battle, but press on* "It IS an imperial stout...[resignation] no big deal, just not drinking it"

I did end up with a very good coffee porter. It's just a shame they're selling what's probably a 6 month old pale ale as a breakfast stout.

It's a shiner clone. I'd say a better version, yet shiner nine the less.

View attachment 1423716214499.jpg

way too early in the morning and not enough coffee for the brain to even try to process this kind of sh*t

didn't get a chance to catch what was on the other side. too afraid to

Both sides...

One of my buddies (and his whole family) seem to think that the CO2 used to pump draft beer through the lines gets you more drunk. Also, the same friend told me that you get a head ache when you're hung over because your brain shrinks and rattles around in your skull.

He's sort of close. It is the CO2 in the beer that can get you intoxicated faster, if the alcohol level is sufficient. The bubbles are one of the reasons to serve champagne at the beginning of a dinner. Gets the chatter and conviviality going faster.
Ingesting alcohol causes dehydration which could diminish the thickness of the dura mater allowing the brain to rattle.

MatIPluto said:

One of my buddies (and his whole family) seem to think that the CO2 used to pump draft beer through the lines gets you more drunk. Also, the same friend told me that you get a head ache when you're hung over because your brain shrinks and rattles around in your skull.

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it may just be my imagination, but I'm not entirely convinced it doesn't

Just now, over lunch.

"You only drink Guinness and that other stuff because it has so much alcohol"

C'mon now.

1977Brewer said:

Just now, over lunch.

"You only drink Guinness and that other stuff because it has so much alcohol"

C'mon now.

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Lol... 4.2%, must have been talking to a lightweight.

flars said:

He's sort of close. It is the CO2 in the beer that can get you intoxicated faster, if the alcohol level is sufficient. The bubbles are one of the reasons to serve champagne at the beginning of a dinner. Gets the chatter and conviviality going faster.
Ingesting alcohol causes dehydration which could diminish the thickness of the dura mater allowing the brain to rattle.

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Ok yes but there's CO2 in all beer not just draft. I probably should have elaborated more and said that he blames the fact that he was drinking draft beer and not canned/bottled for making stupid decisions. The headache is caused by blood vessels dilating. If your brain hits the inside of your head you get a concussion not just a headache...

Psylocide said:

Lol... 4.2%, must have been talking to a lightweight.

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I quickly informed him that GUinnes was just a darkened light beer, basically. This dude can drink yellow fizzies like water. I told him my HB pale ale was going to run about 6.0 and he sputtered a bit though. BMC drinkers are weird.

Guinness is practically identical to Sam Adams Light in terms of calories, ABV, carbs, etc.

Seems most folks don't pay attention to the details. Neither do they seem to like taking a chance on something other than their usual BMC's. But to speak up & remove all doubt, well...

I understand the desire to drink a light flavored, easy drinking beverage, but being loyal as a dog to only one just does not sit with me at all. They're all variations of the exact same thing. I love Dr. Pepper, it's easily my 2nd or third favorite thing in the world, but I'll drink a Coke.

1977Brewer said:

I understand the desire to drink a light flavored, easy drinking beverage, but being loyal as a dog to only one just does not sit with me at all. They're all variations of the exact same thing. I love Dr. Pepper, it's easily my 2nd or third favorite thing in the world, but I'll drink a Coke.

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Well... they are all quite different.

I can't stomach a Miller Lite, won't even drink a free one.

Coors Light is ok.

Bud Light is so-so.

Busch Light is floccing amazing.

And Dr. Pepper makes me have to poop in like, 10 mins flat.

Psylocide said:

Well... they are all quite different.

I can't stomach a Miller Lite, won't even drink a free one.

Coors Light is ok.

Bud Light is so-so.

Busch Light is floccing amazing.

And Dr. Pepper makes me have to poop in like, 10 mins flat.

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See, if I was ranking them, Miller Lite would be on top. Natty Light a close 2nd.

But I try to drink them as cold as possible...can't tell em apart.

Doctor Pooper?

I have seen like 3-4 people in this thread and 2 web articles talking about beer today that have ranking Coors (or Coors Lite) as a "decent" or "okay" beer.

I cannot grasp this. I have not had a beer in my life that is as absolutely disgusting as Coors Lite. It is an abomination. It makes Budweiser seem like a work of art. And I'm hardly a Bud fan. The last time I bought a Bud was over 10 years ago. As much as I dislike Miller, it also tastes heavenly in comparison with Coors.

I guess it can be chalked up to personal taste, but I cannot grasp how anyone can enjoy Coors Lite.... (bursts into unstoppable tears)

worlddivides said:

I have seen like 3-4 people in this thread and 2 web articles talking about beer today that have ranking Coors (or Coors Lite) as a "decent" or "okay" beer.

I cannot grasp this. I have not had a beer in my life that is as absolutely disgusting as Coors Lite. It is an abomination. It makes Budweiser seem like a work of art. And the last time I bought a Bud was over 10 years ago.

I guess it can be chalked up to personal taste, but I cannot grasp how anyone can enjoy Coors Lite.... (bursts into unstoppable tears)

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Yep.

Give me a sour and I'll throw it right in your face... some people love them.

I don't get being so offended by Coors Light, or any other light beer. It's as innoffensive a beverage as possible, on purpose. The flavor profile is non-existant. Sex in a canoe if you get the drift.

1977Brewer said:

I don't get being so offended by Coors Light, or any other light beer. It's as innoffensive a beverage as possible, on purpose. The flavor profile is non-existant. Sex in a canoe if you get the drift.

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Been there done that... doesn't work out so well, flipped once before we figured out we should just park it up on the bank and get to it.

I love sour beers, but I can understand why some people don't like them. Likewise, there are beers I don't like that I can understand why people like them (such as a lot of the BMC beers), but Coors Lite is the one beer that I cannot comprehend how anyone could like. It just boggles the mind. It's literally on the same level to me as someone drinking cigarette ash water and enjoying it. I know some people have the same feelings towards other beers that I may like or dislike but understand, so maybe Coors Lite is just my own personal trauma beer. I'm pretty sure it's the first beer I had when I was in junior high and I couldn't understand how anyone could like BEER (assuming that all beers tasted like it).

Psylocide said:

Well... they are all quite different.

I can't stomach a Miller Lite, won't even drink a free one.

Coors Light is ok.

Bud Light is so-so.

Busch Light is floccing amazing.

And Dr. Pepper makes me have to poop in like, 10 mins flat.

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I can not stand Bud light or Coors light.
However during the summer months, when I am walking the golf course, lugging a 30lbs bag, I love Bud Light Lime!
There I said it! I like Budlight lime.
It is probably the horrific overpowering lime taste in the hot, direct sun.
Must mix well!

Make with the funny's!

So a rabbi, a priest, and Peewee Herman walk into a bar....

Pyg said:

I can not stand Bud light or Coors light.
However during the summer months, when I am walking the golf course, lugging a 30lbs bag, I love Bud Light Lime!
There I said it! I like Budlight lime.
It is probably the horrific overpowering lime taste in the hot, direct sun.
Must mix well!

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The receptionist will take your homebrewer's card on your way out...

But really, there is a time and place for almost every beer. 85 degree day mowing the lawn? You'll find me drinking a couple cold Rainiers

UWDawg13 said:

The receptionist will take your homebrewer's card on your way out...

But really, there is a time and place for almost every beer. 85 degree day mowing the lawn? You'll find me drinking a couple cold Rainiers

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Sunday 9 o'clock Church service. I'm an usher/prayer partner. Go!

1977Brewer said:

Sunday 9 o'clock Church service. I'm an usher/prayer partner. Go!

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He said that there's a time and place for every beer, not a beer for every time and place

...And then while I'm sitting there, listening to the sermon, I here a pssshhht from the back. Then you're standing there saying," what"?

Church house tafelbier. 1.7% just enough to make a preacher blush.

1977Brewer said:

Sunday 9 o'clock Church service. I'm an usher/prayer partner. Go!

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Kentucky Breakfast Stout. You'll have plenty of time to drink it after they throw you out.

TheHappyHopper said:

He said that there's a time and place for every beer, not a beer for every time and place

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Good job.

Belgian Trappist for the win! Although, since you're in Texas...if it were summer, patersbier might a better choice, since it would be about 110°F at 9AM.

I hear that. SoCal in November gets to around 83F by 8:30 AM.